What is it like

[Ms_Lilith]

having someone submit to you? What does it feel like in your mind, heart and soul knowing someone is giving their everything to you. Does it cause turmoil, in that you are so pleased by it, but you hope you will never do anything to show you don't deserve it? Does it make you purely happy? Does it make you feel powerful? Do you ever doubt your power?

What does it feel like physically, if physicality is even an option. I mean.. does it turn you on knowing that someone has given themselves to you? Does it make you sweat, in nerves?




I found someone who said that she wants to be all I want her to be (I only want her to be herself! I love her that way). And I am afraid that, as she has given herself to me so fully.. that somehow I will ruin it. I'm not used to this... it's new.... and very happy, but terrifying.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

*edit* She's not a submissive. I mean.. between the two of us, she is the more submissive, but she doesn't identify herself as sub. She has said she will do anything I ask of her though... and... I am afraid to misuse that power... power is foreign to me.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Power is the biggest trip for some of us...being completely in control is something that is hard to describe. Enjoy!

 

[Shadowsdream]

having someone submit to you? What does it feel like in your mind, heart and soul knowing someone is giving their everything to you. Does it cause turmoil, in that you are so pleased by it, but you hope you will never do anything to show you don't deserve it? Does it make you purely happy? Does it make you feel powerful? Do you ever doubt your power?

What does it feel like physically, if physicality is even an option. I mean.. does it turn you on knowing that someone has given themselves to you? Does it make you sweat, in nerves?




I found someone who said that she wants to be all I want her to be (I only want her to be herself! I love her that way). And I am afraid that, as she has given herself to me so fully.. that somehow I will ruin it. I'm not used to this... it's new.... and very happy, but terrifying.

The first moment I hear those words I am HIT with the *responsibility* of that statement IF I accept it!
If I hear it to quickly I doubt it because there really is no earned basis to accept it.
If I believe it I am honored if I don't I am bored....
soooo...I think what you really want Me to talk about is how the reality of this submission effects Me and My emotions.
I feel energized, hot, powerful and in tune with My inner self!
I never doubt My ability to Dominate safely emotionally or physically nor do I feel like a Goddess that has to live up to the mental standards of fantasy others may wish to experience.
Nervousness does not come to mind in any facet, nor does doubt in who I am as a Dominant.
If the one wishing to sumbit to Me is My magic I feel *honored* yet not controlled in that honor to be more or less than I am.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: What is it like

I never doubt My ability to Dominate safely emotionally or physically nor do I feel like a Goddess that has to live up to the mental standards of fantasy others may wish to experience.
Nervousness does not come to mind in any facet, nor does doubt in who I am as a Dominant.

This statement most describes how I feel as a dominant.

The goal is not perfection but reality.

 

[Netzach]

Well, for me it's completely rooted in reality as well. If you are submitting to me, that means *me* in all my individuality, with all my vagaries and faults, me in sweatpants as much as in a corset.

And it means me with my occasional doubts, misgivings and mistakes. I think your asking these questions SHOWS that you are caring and empathic right off the bat. People who *never* admit to any doubt frankly always worried me when I was bottoming. I needed to know that I was in good hands, but I also needed to know that my Top was able to get real and be human and be humble enough to admit falliability, inexperience where inexperience may have been.

I needed to know that my trust was being acknowledged as an act of....well, bravery. I don't think of it in terms of gifts and preciousness as much as I do in terms of having balls and putting oneself on the line.

I think it's very important as a Top to acknowledge that aspect of submission. I think it's very important to retain a lot of humility and a sense of reverence for your submissive's reverence.

I think it's also important not to go overboard. If someone reveres you and means it, it's for a reason. Act with a calm sense of entitlement and acceptance of service, and good service will be there for you. Respect the offer by acceptance. I think a lot of newer dominants don't feel comfortable with being served. I think that being a good Dominant requires all the self-work and introspection of being a good submissive, maybe even more, and that becoming comfortable with taking is a very difficult road for some people.

Especially the Fem-Doms, let's face it there's a lot of girl training that does NOT encourage us to be comfortable with power.
But it's not limited to the ladies.

I don't try to be a fantasy Goddess in black leather etc. but I do try to get a sense of what I think a Goddess is and channel a little of her mojo. I try to live up to the best of my ideals, lead via example. With mixed results, as I'm definitely not a Goddess.

Trust me, I am not NOT NOT a girl who would ever talk about the Goddess without tongue planted firmly in cheek till I really began to do SM, funny, but this gig changes us profoundly sometimes.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I think your asking these questions SHOWS that you are caring and empathic right off the bat. People who *never* admit to any doubt frankly always worried me when I was bottoming. I needed to know that I was in good hands, but I also needed to know that my Top was able to get real and be human and be humble enough to admit falliability, inexperience where inexperience may have been.

Thank you so much for your answer... and thank you for those comments I've quoted... I've known I am a submissive for a year now, and this Dominance thing.. I never knew I had a Dominant bone in my body. But my babygirl brings it out in me. I care about her, and I want her to be happy, and I never want to push her limits (which we've talked about extensively). I ... I enjoy the power she gives me, and I accept it... and I cherish it. I cherish her. It just... *grin* .. it makes me wonder sometimes... and so far, when I've wondered.. I've let go of the Dominant and just used my head and heart.. and I find that works well.

I guess it's a learning journey.. and in this, I want to thank all those who have helped me to learn about my submissive side... because although I don't know everything as a sub, I know that what I have experienced in that role will help me to be good to my girl.

 

[bunny bondage]

all of this is being typed word for word as He speaks to me (He's sitting right beside me, as He spent the night here tonight). i figured He would be the better person to answer this question!

it's not a question of power - it's just a question of intimacy. (incredibly long thoughtful pause) there's an early greek thinker, actually one of the fathers of atomic theory, his name is democritus. he doesn't make distinctions between the body and the soul. for him, they are one and the same. therefore, if you accept his line of thinking, it follows that if someone shares their body, then he or she also shares his or her soul. the act of being a top or a bottom just makes sex more like a ritual. a set of arbitrary circumstances make someone either a top or a bottom: social class, education, childhood experiences. i'm a top. but there just as well could have been arbitrary circumstances which made me a bottom. so when someone plays the corresponding role to my dominance, it's just natural harmony. (at this point i blush and say aww!) anyway, that's all i gotta say.

 

[Pouty Kitten]

Vix, try to lure James over to this thread . I would love to hear what he has to say about this.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

all of this is being typed word for word as He speaks to me (He's sitting right beside me, as He spent the night here tonight). i figured He would be the better person to answer this question!

it's not a question of power - it's just a question of intimacy. (incredibly long thoughtful pause) there's an early greek thinker, actually one of the fathers of atomic theory, his name is democritus. he doesn't make distinctions between the body and the soul. for him, they are one and the same. therefore, if you accept his line of thinking, it follows that if someone shares their body, then he or she also shares his or her soul. the act of being a top or a bottom just makes sex more like a ritual. a set of arbitrary circumstances make someone either a top or a bottom: social class, education, childhood experiences. i'm a top. but there just as well could have been arbitrary circumstances which made me a bottom. so when someone plays the corresponding role to my dominance, it's just natural harmony. (at this point i blush and say aww!) anyway, that's all i gotta say.

I'm a Classics student. *grin*

Thank Him for me... *sigh* I guess it's just finding the right headspace.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Vix, try to lure James over to this thread . I would love to hear what he has to say about this.

I always hope he'll read them, but he rarely replies. It bugs me. I was gonna ask YOU to lure him over here.. *snicker*

 

[James G 5]

I always hope he'll read them, but he rarely replies. It bugs me. I was gonna ask YOU to lure him over here.. *snicker*

BAH to the both of you
Lemme think about it