What is it like having a partner you have no secrets with?

[pseudoism]

This is seeking the flip side of the post asking for deepest darkest secrets kept from partners.

I don't remember where it was, maybe reddit, but a guy posted "I can't imagine what it must be like to be with someone I had to keep secrets from."

It's something that's always stuck with me. Kind of an enforcement of "don't settle", find the person you can truly be yourself with.

So, for those lucky folks out there that get to be themselves, let the rest of us know how it feels.

 

[chargergirl]

I don't have any secrets from my husband. He knows I'm on here, knows I'm a mod, knows I've written a few stories for Lit...I can't imagine having to hide who I am from him. We'll be married 20 years this April and it's been a joy growing with each other and watching each other change through the years.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Green_Knight]

If I had to hide things about who I am or how I feel from my husband then I would feel our relationship were not the previous thing it is. He is the only man I have ever wanted to marry, the first person I have been truly vulnerable and open with and if I felt I couldn't share something ( other than someone else's personal thing) with him it would be a clear sign to me something needed addressing I think. He teaches me so much about love and being human that I am awed daily by him. Edit: if I couldn't share with him then I wouldn't have married him.

This, and chargergirl's post above, are wonderful.

Sadly, there are still a vast number of women around – certainly in my age group – who were brought up in the time of 'nice girls don't'. A girl who had too much interest in sex definitely wasn't 'nice'. Of my longer-term partners, I can only think of two to whom I would have revealed such things as my presence on this site and the fact that I write erotic stories, and both of those partners were back in the pre-internet days so there was nothing to reveal.

 

[suckonsimon]

There's another way with partners and secrets and I value it hugely:

My woman understands that I keep some stuff to myself. She gives me that space. She will not pry. I've told her about Lit, and about some of my threads and discussions. I print off some of the classy erotic photos from here for her. But she knows there are other explorations I do on here and she will never press me to tell all. I value that. I hope I give her her space too.

 

[chargergirl]

There's another way with partners and secrets and I value it hugely:

My woman understands that I keep some stuff to myself. She gives me that space. She will not pry. I've told her about Lit, and about some of my threads and discussions. I print off some of the classy erotic photos from here for her. But she knows there are other explorations I do on here and she will never press me to tell all. I value that. I hope I give her her space too.

Trust is an amazing thing!

 

[Arianne6947]

The only secret I keep from hubby is playing here until he summons me for fun time

 

[bibethhotwet]

I think that is why we have been together for 27 years. No secrets. When we first met I was up front with him about my bisexuality as I did not want to let that go. He was fine with that and since then we have explored our sexual passions together.

 

[roc23]

I think it would feel like being it a prison if you couldn't share exactly what you're thinking with your s/o no matter what the topic.

There would only be one person I'd want to confide in and that would be my s/o.
If I couldn't do that I wouldn't be with her for very long.

And I don't judge. The girl could tell me anything without fear of me flipping out or getting pissed.

 

[HesterP]

While it is nice that some posters here have no secrets from their spouse, I do not think that is the norm. Certainly a worthwhile goal to work towards. Since I am just getting out of a weak marriage, I am not a good example for sharing everything. He had plenty of secrets though I did manage to discover many of their names. I also had some secrets from before we were married that I never did share.

 

[dacoach44]

I have one friend

While it is nice that some posters here have no secrets from their spouse, I do not think that is the norm. Certainly a worthwhile goal to work towards. Since I am just getting out of a weak marriage, I am not a good example for sharing everything. He had plenty of secrets though I did manage to discover many of their names. I also had some secrets from before we were married that I never did share.

A lovely married lady from Lit. Tell her everything, all my romances, my kids, my travels, etc. Met her about 4 years ago here, write , email, text every week.

 

[chargergirl]

While it is nice that some posters here have no secrets from their spouse, I do not think that is the norm. Certainly a worthwhile goal to work towards. Since I am just getting out of a weak marriage, I am not a good example for sharing everything. He had plenty of secrets though I did manage to discover many of their names. I also had some secrets from before we were married that I never did share.

This was my first marriage, when I was 22.

I never want that again.