What have I done????

[Guest]

I just lost my best friend in the world today. We talked for hours the other night, and I really tried to make her feel good about herself. I thought I did.

Instead, she e-mails me today saying she never wants to talk to me again. Apparently something I said caused her to have bad flashbacks of something horrible in her past. I caused this person, someone I care deeply about, incredible pain when I was trying to do the opposite.

I don't know what I said or how to fix it, if at all. I have never felt lower in my life than I do right now. I never want to cause people pain, ever. I fucked up royally this time...... I've been depressed lately, but this is sending me over the edge. I don't know what to do.

Do I wait? Do I reach out? Do I relentlessly try to fix this? Do I move on? I feel like never reaching out again, like saying fuck the world. I can't even talk to my wife right now, or function at work, can't stop crying.........not even when holding my son. Why do I bother??

 

[Andreina]

all i can do from here is give you a huge (((((((((HUG)))))))))

 

[Gamelover221]

The only thing you can do right now is get control of yourself and your emotions. Losing your grip on things can only make life difficult for you. What your friend needs is a little time to cool down. People often say/do things that they might regret in the near future. My quote says it all. Passion rules reason. Please please just let yourself vent as much as you need, then pull yourself together again. You cannot hope to help someone else until you help yourself first. Just give the situation a little time...

 

[alexandraaah]

First of all, let me just say...

I'm sorry. That being said, it sounds like your friend was perhaps on the verge of a meltdown and you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wouldn't fuel it, but do let her know you love her. My advice, having been there before, is to send an email such as:

"I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I hope we can talk when you're less upset with me. Please know you can always call on me as your friend."

I bet she'll come around. She loves you and needs you...which is exactly why she knew she could do this to you and you'd still be there for her.

Prove her right. Good luck.

Alex

 

[T.H. Oughts]

You have triggered something in her that cut close, but maybe that is not a bad thing. She might just need time now to work through the emotions that you stirred.

I'm sure you would never want to hurt your friend, so please don't be to hard on yourself.

Give her some time to breath and I'm sure all will be well.

Maybe a note sent to her with.... "Sorry if I upset you, I would never want to do that, I'm here if you ever want to chat."

Sending hugs for you

 

[Starfish]

OMG. I am sorry that I didn't read this before I wrote you just now.

Okay, sweetie, I will be online now.
Storm, pm me if you can go into chat.

 

[lobito]

Storm, I've got a bit of experience in this area, and it sucks, I know.

MY words to anyone I've ever gotten "close" with, have always been, that "I'll ALWAYS be here for you". I don't give on on people, even when they seem like they might have given up on me. If they leave my life for whatever reason, then come back another day, then they realize what I told them originally was in fact true.

I'm not saying DON'T try to repair what you think you might have said or done, just saying what I'VE done. You can only try so hard, before it becomes worthless in some cases.

Good luck,

Lo

 

[Guest]

Give the friend time.
Triggers are hard to overcome quickly.
There's nothign wrong with sending a simple email letting her know you're sorry and that if she needs you in the future, she can contact you.

I'm sorry, hon.
Good luck!

 

[Siren]

If you did nothing wrong you have nothing to feel badly about

 

[JennyOmanHill]

This has happened to me several times in my life. It's one of the most painful situations, and my suggestion is to give your friend time and space.

Fortunately I'm back in touch with everyone I experienced this with, so time does heal.

Good luck and rest easy. She'll realize you're still there for her, storm. Be easier on yourself and don't force yourself on her right now. I would check in on her periodically, and she'll eventually realize what a good friend you really are.

 

[J.B.]

How a0re you supposed to fix something you didn't know you broke?

What I think you need to do is talk to her... ask her what it was you said that made her so upset with you... you might want to give her a bit of time though if she's anything like me she'll need some time to reflect & relize she over reacted, that you care for her & would never intentionally hurt her... give it time... I'm sure it will all work out...

 

[Guest]

What would I do without Lit.......

Thanks you all so much for your advice. As always, the great people of Lit know best. You've helped me on more than one occasion......

I wanted to address your replies individually, but I don't have the time right now. Each one was so special, and meaningful.

She already called - I couldn't answer. I do have to gather myself for a bit so I don't do something else foolish. Whatever that may be