What happens when Real life...

[quietwillow]

gets in the way of your BDSM?

If you cannot "scene" for a bit does anything change?

I can truthfully say that although we may not do a scene the D/s is always there ... even when we are busy with daily things and not so daily things such as weddings or funerals.

Does your life sometimes get that busy?
If it does how do you achieve a sense of consistancy in your bdsm relationship even when there may be precioius little time for it?

quiet

P. S. I like to ask questions .... it helps me grow and learn to be a better submissive for Master and a better person for myself. Those two things do not have to be exclusive!!!

 

[lovetoread]

Ahh but you hit a sore spot for me.

Life is always busy here.

Or someone is tired.

Or someone is sick.

Sometimes things just stop for no reason.

I will just say that to me,just being dominated in the day to day life isnt enough.

When you go for too long then its like you have to start over.

Which to me is a pain to have to do.

And since I have yet not even tried most of what I want to do,the thought that nothing is happening is bad.

But it is life,yes?

 

[PlayDoe]

Yes, it is life. But knowing what you want is the first obstacle to overcome in most people's life. Fulfilling the dream, well that's where living comes in. Some of us are luckier than others and are postioned to be in better situations. Those folks may be living the dream to the fullest. But most of us are living in the everyday world that requires us to work jobs and interact in a society that expects (demands) a certain level of behavior. For us, the road to fulfillment of our dreams, takes many twists and turns and we have to appreciate every minute of the the time we have.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

LTR, I couldn't agree with you more.

For me, Him being dominant in our day to day lives is not enough. I need the intimate things too. And there is so much we've not tried yet either.

Great thread quiet!
~smiles~
dixi

 

[Skitten]

real life

I agree with you that there is so much more I would love to do. And at times it feels like starting over. . .

There are just so many things in life that just have to come first like kids, jobs, bills.

I would love to jave our d/s relationship on a more active stage but it never seems to work out that way.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Work

In my case, I work long hours. But it is nothing compared to the hours my boys work.

So time is limited and at a premium.

Many male subs tend to be very assertive and dominant in their worklives. Both my boys are successful. So playing often times takes a back seat.

Not a problem. They both know that I am interviewing for a 24/7, so they know I keep busy in their absence.

Eb

 

[zipman]

Real life does interfere

I mean, how could it not. I find that most of it doesn't really bother me except for my current issue of just being too damn tired to be the Dom I know I want to be.

I posted somewhere recently that we have been having more nilla sex recently than I would like. This is because I have been too tired to "scene" with her properly, and I would rather not do it at all, rather than not do it well.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Real life does interfere

I mean, how could it not. I find that most of it doesn't really bother me except for my current issue of just being too damn tired to be the Dom I know I want to be.

I posted somewhere recently that we have been having more nilla sex recently than I would like. This is because I have been too tired to "scene" with her properly, and I would rather not do it at all, rather than not do it well.

I think that is very commendable on your part. I think that exhaustion can be a source of danger in D/s.

Eb

 

[artful]

Re: Real life does interfere

I mean, how could it not. I find that most of it doesn't really bother me except for my current issue of just being too damn tired to be the Dom I know I want to be.

I posted somewhere recently that we have been having more nilla sex recently than I would like. This is because I have been too tired to "scene" with her properly, and I would rather not do it at all, rather than not do it well.

-Amen-

 

[Lancecastor]

Geritol BDSM Formula?

Goodness....y'all sound like you need a nap!

 

[subtledecadence]

Re: Real life does interfere

I mean, how could it not. I find that most of it doesn't really bother me except for my current issue of just being too damn tired to be the Dom I know I want to be.

I posted somewhere recently that we have been having more nilla sex recently than I would like. This is because I have been too tired to "scene" with her properly, and I would rather not do it at all, rather than not do it well.

It was amazing to me that You said that. My Dominant and I were just discussing that this weekend. W/we hardly have any time together lately due to O/our schedules. (I work days, He works nights so that W/we, can each take turns at O/our second job, raising O/our daughter.) Now it has come to a just being too damn tired in few hours W/we see each other each night to "do it well", and He has stated He would rather not do it at all if that was the alternative. Thankfully, every once in awhile W/we do get lucky, and have a full weekend to O/ourselves, like this past one ~puts on her "pleasantly-sore-and-loving-every-minute-of-it" grin~ as He had arranged for His mother to take O/our daughter for a week and 1/2, as a suprise.
The D/s aspect is never missing from O/our lives though. It is a part of who W/we are. While it can sometimes be frustrating to have to hold off with some of the more physical things, it does always prove to be well worth the wait. *grumbles about all this being an un-looked for learning opportunity in patience*

subtle

 

[lovetoread]

Re: Geritol BDSM Formula?

Goodness....y'all sound like you need a nap!

Guess I forgot the geritol again.

I'm feeling my age ya know.

 

[MzChrista]

gets in the way of your BDSM?

If you cannot "scene" for a bit does anything change?

I can truthfully say that although we may not do a scene the D/s is always there ... even when we are busy with daily things and not so daily things such as weddings or funerals.

Does your life sometimes get that busy?
If it does how do you achieve a sense of consistancy in your bdsm relationship even when there may be precioius little time for it?

quiet

P. S. I like to ask questions .... it helps me grow and learn to be a better submissive for Master and a better person for myself. Those two things do not have to be exclusive!!!

My real life situation is a big problem for me being able to do all I want. But things got to be in perspective. I hear people, especailly when they new talking like their kink stuff is all that matters, but you got to have perspective. It may be a big part of you but it aint all of you and if you aint in charge of it its in charge of you and dom or sub that aint right.

 

[Rubyfruit]

How about just doing the little things on a day-to-day basis? Like pulling her hair while you fuck her mouth. Calling her your little slut while smacking her ass as you fuck her from behind?

I doubt most people would have the time or energy for big scenes on a nightly basis.

 

[P. B. Walker]

How about just doing the little things on a day-to-day basis? Like pulling her hair while you fuck her mouth. Calling her your little slut while smacking her ass as you fuck her from behind?

I doubt most people would have the time or energy for big scenes on a nightly basis.

Dang, I thought those were a given no matter what.

PBW

 

[MissTaken]

Kids Kids Kids

My little tax deductions are truly the center of my world, for now.

So, when and if a Dom comes along, It can be rather difficult to find time for one another in the classic sense.

What keeps it alive?

Well, those gentle tugs on my hair when we kiss.

The subtle touches or slaps on the bottom when no one is looking.

The words whispered in my ear to make me gasp.

It isn't all about scening. There is so much more, IMHO.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Dang, I thought those were a given no matter what.

PBW

Oh how I wish.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Oh how I wish.

I must be a real perv then... lol

PBW "No wonder I scare women... <sniffles>"

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: Kids Kids Kids

My little tax deductions are truly the center of my world, for now.

So, when and if a Dom comes along, It can be rather difficult to find time for one another in the classic sense.

What keeps it alive?

Well, those gentle tugs on my hair when we kiss.

The subtle touches or slaps on the bottom when no one is looking.

The words whispered in my ear to make me gasp.

It isn't all about scening. There is so much more, IMHO.

Actually in My opinion...yes Mine...you have described scening it is most subtle forms. The flowing moments that never let you forget your place has as big an impact in the long run as the whip and chain moments.

I am fortunate to be able to live My lifestyle with the freedom of being able to do major scenes more than 50% of My days. But if I did major scenes as much as I could they would soon lose there thrill. Part of the magic is choosing time for impact.

BUT the BDSM flavour never leaves O/our home. In the small ways..no matter how complex O/our schedules get. My hand in his long hair, pulling his head back, forcing him to look into My eyes while I ask if he is going to behave today. A slap on the ass as he walks past Me. Tightening the collar one notch more than usual...so many small constant details that takes no energy but has impact.

 

[cellis]

Himself and I don't live together and yet I find that some aspect of this lifestyle colors every part of who and what we are.

I do feel like the others here, if we go for period of time without scening it does feel like we are starting over in that respect.

 

[Desdemona]

I enjoy those subtle small touches

such as the little messages I find on my voice mail at work. Quite unexpectedly, he catches my attention and I am reminded.....

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Re: Kids Kids Kids

My little tax deductions are truly the center of my world, for now.

So, when and if a Dom comes along, It can be rather difficult to find time for one another in the classic sense.

What keeps it alive?

Well, those gentle tugs on my hair when we kiss.

The subtle touches or slaps on the bottom when no one is looking.

The words whispered in my ear to make me gasp.

It isn't all about scening. There is so much more, IMHO.

Thank you MissT, for reminding me of the little things too. All too often its easy to get caught up in the "poor me" feelings. I just know that these things do help keep things burning as well as all out scening, for me anyway.

dixi

 

[Guest]

Think back to the days before you had any type of BDSM relationship. Those little subtilities were more than enough to get you excited. Try to remember those feelings and it may help sustain you for another few days or weeks.

Make your relationship a priority. Don't buy that extra something that you don't truly need. Put the $ aside and get a hotel room (Priceline.com here I come) or send the kids to a few movies in a row and spend some quality time together once a month if that is all you can do.

Turn off the TV for an evening and let the kids play their music loud so they can't hear you.

There are ways if you want it bad enough.

 

[lovetoread]

Great idea.

I'll have to try it.

Loud music...maybe it would work.

 

[MysCynthia]

Christmas is coming! Just lock the door and tell the little ones you are making them presents.
And I like the loud music suggestion also.