What girls think about doing to guys

[mike2010fc]

.....

 

[Edensgarden]

I always write PMs to women on Lit about the myriad of things I would do, all the ways I would kiss and tease and make them shudder. I've always been wired that way, to explore, not to receive.

But I was thinking, what about all the things that girls want to do to guys? I've never really talked with someone about that before, and honestly in my own experience, it doesn't seem like women really want men? Am I missing something?

Write about it here, or if it's too risque, try it out in a PM..

Mike

Yes, you are missing something. Something HUGE!!!

There are women out here who absolutely LOVE pleasing their man. I would be one of those gals. I get just as much, if not more, turned on by being the giver and doing whatever I can to make him feel good.

If the women you have been with don't make you feel like they want you, then you are probably dating the wrongs ones. As for what I think about doing to a man.....more than you could even imagine.

 

[sunandshadow]

Hmm. Women do fantasize about men, of course, but I'm not sure it's in quite the same way. I might fantasize something like, I'm a bartender on a quiet night, and this attractive guy comes in looking lonely, and it turns out to be his 21st birthday. So I feel sorry for him (in a sexy way) because he's alone on he's birthday and I also intuit that he's a virgin. He's polite, friendly but shy, and I have a strong urge to wrap myself around him until he cheers up. He's like ten years younger than me, though, so I'm afraid that if I straight-out hit on him he might be more repulsed than interested, and my feelings will be hurt if he rejects me. He's cutely pathetic, but not so pathetic that he might not decide I was worse than no one and he'd rather wait for a younger women to be interested in him.

So, this fantasy doesn't even involve what's in his pants; in the back of my mind I'm assuming a functional, average penis, but it's not the focus of my fantasy at all. It's not about his muscles, because he's fully clothed and just sitting. I can certainly enjoy watching a man doing some kind of graceful physical exertion, but it's not important to this particular fantasy, at least until the sex happens later on. I'm imagining a cute face and hair, but it's honestly his facial expressions and the emotions he's feeling due to being alone and virginal on his 21st birthday that are making me aroused to fantasize about. Similarly as this fantasy continues, the parts that are of intense interest to me are his facial expression and emotions when I take off my shirt and he is kind of awed to behold my chest, and the part where he's puppy-dog eager to please but not sure what I want him to do and what he's allowed to do. Other than his expression and emotions, the only detail I find erotic to dwell on is the words we are saying to each other and his tone of voice.

 

[xjasminex]

There's plenty women have planned to do to guys. Obviously each person is going to have something different in mind, depending on their own personality and experience.

Personally while I tend to refer to be the receiver, at least one of the things I think about doing to my boyfriend are tying him up to something (maybe my clothes as he pulls them from me), rubbing my wet body all over him and teasing him with my mouth until he's about cum, then stop suddenly and cum myself with my vibrator. Then let him loose while licking him and enjoy his desperate frenzy to have me.

 

[Sundayschild]

@sunandshadow - I don't know about all guys but I am pretty similar to you - the physical acts aren't as important as how the person (people) are feeling. Where it gets blurred is if someone gets aroused by the act, eg when a girl really wants to blow me. The act isn't as arousing as how much my partner wants to do it.

 

[sunandshadow]

@sunandshadow - I don't know about all guys but I am pretty similar to you - the physical acts aren't as important as how the person (people) are feeling. Where it gets blurred is if someone gets aroused by the act, eg when a girl really wants to blow me. The act isn't as arousing as how much my partner wants to do it.

Yeah that's true, and also people who know that they particularly enjoy a particular sensation can decide that a partner who actively enjoys doing that particular thing, or seems likely to have an instinct to want to do that, is sexy. That might even be a subconscious evaluation. Like, I love back massages; if I saw a guy petting a dog or horse in a way that looked like it would feel really pleasant, that might make the guy seem attractive to me even if I'm not thinking of sex at all when I see it or after I've forgotten I saw him doing that.

 

[thewantonwife]

This girl mostly thinks about kneeling their altar and worshiping His phallus.

 

[Sundayschild]

This girl mostly thinks about kneeling their altar and worshiping His phallus.

That works too

 

[TheLaughingGod]

I always write PMs to women on Lit about the myriad of things I would do, all the ways I would kiss and tease and make them shudder. I've always been wired that way, to explore, not to receive.

*Cough*Bullshit*Cough*

But I was thinking, what about all the things that girls want to do to guys? I've never really talked with someone about that before, and honestly in my own experience, it doesn't seem like women really want men? Am I missing something?

Write about it here, or if it's too risque, try it out in a PM..

Mike

Women love to have sex; just like guys, no matter who says otherwise; they may think differently about sex, but they still think, as the great philosopher descartes said "I think, therefore I fuck", and if they're on lit, it's pretty reasonable to assume they really enjoy sex.....however, women get innundated with pms all the time on pretty much any sexboard in existence.

My wife for example, she is my slut, we love to fuck, all the time, and despite the fact that she posts regularly about how I am the only man she wants, and she doesn't respond to unsolicited pms from guys every single day a new one will arrive in her inbox with some stupid asinine comment designed to try and get into her pants.

She doesn't respond, does this mean she doesn't like sex, not in the least.

However, random unsolicited pms are not the way to go.

 

[Aurelia_Malys]

If the women you have been with don't make you feel like they want you, then you are probably dating the wrongs ones.

Totally agree with this ^

This girl mostly thinks about kneeling their altar and worshiping His phallus.

I agree with this too! ^

She doesn't respond, does this mean she doesn't like sex, not in the least.

Yes Master I absolutely love sex ... but not from random people who send me pm's.

And to the OP ... I have to say that your message about wanting to explore and give and do xyz to women does not sound like a "giving" attitude ... but more like a "this is what I want" attitude .... that isnt a criticism ... just the way I am reading it.

 

[YDB95]

Yes Master I absolutely love sex ... but not from random people who send me pm's.

This, precisely. I've re-read the OP a couple of times now, trying to figure out if I'm missing something. If I'm reading him right, he's saying he sends unsolicited private messages to women describing what he'd like to do to them. This may be an all-about-sex community, but that's still totally inappropriate.

 

[jen_litgirl]

I have found this interesting in the time that I've been on Lit. Is this really a problem or do we just like to complain? Women complain about unsolicited PMs and men complain that women are hard to engage. Both of these are interesting to me.

This is a sex forum with large numbers of people who are here because they're highly interested in sex. Atleast most of us, I assume are. It makes sense then to want to connect, communicate and feed that need from each other.

What I find interesting is the complaining. Why do we, as women, act frustrated by unsolicited PMs? Of course the guys are grasping at straws when they type out that they want to bend you over and pleasure you for hours. They don't know anything about you except the assumption that you like sex. Why do men act frustrated that their detailed description of their cocks and offers to send pictures are met with silence or disgust? If you met a woman at a club you wouldn't offer to whip it out before you even tell her your name.

Mike, women love sex. Among my real life female friends, the majority of them complain about having partners that DON'T want sex as much as they do. Women love sex. We crave it. We think about it often and in some cases all the freaking time. Lit is not a club. There is not ability to use body language or the tone of your voice to help express yourself. And there's no way for you to know how your message is being received on the other end. So cast your net often and widely and hope for the best.

Jen

 

[mike2010fc]

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[TheLaughingGod]

Ya it's tough, honestly I've sent out hundreds and hundreds of unsolicited PMs (maybe 1000 by now?) trying every single random thing I can think of, based on what each woman has posted to a thread (I don't cc or mass-PM). Every woman is so different that one thing might appeal to one and totally insult another.

One thing I've found very frustrating is that most of the women I've talked to tend to assume that all men are the same. Which is somewhat ironic, considering how much women pride themselves on their individuality.


Mike

Ok, what the hell?

You admit you have sent about 1000 pms to different women, about random things, talking about all the things you want to do to them?

And then you blame the women because they treat you like every other guy who does the exact same thing?

You poor thing, how can they not see what a poor and sensitive soul you are

 

[mike2010fc]

.....

 

[Aurelia_Malys]

Mike,
There was a thread on the playground recently asking if anyone had found their partner on lit. The OP on that thread had concerns that seem somewhat similar to yours.

And that OP got a piece of advice that may also apply to your situation... to meet someone on Lit (playmate, friend, prospective partner, whatever) you need to post. Get to know people by interacting with them on threads. If you registered in Feb 2010, you have been on Lit for almost 3 years ... and you have less than 150 posts? To be perfectly honest with you, i think you will get a much more positive response if you are active on threads, instead of pm-ing women "blindly".

And men don't realize that women don't have the same fascination with sex, that they are more focused on having children or appearing respectable, things that men don't really think about.

Ugg .... I hate those generalizations! I dont fit that description at all!

 

[DarkPleasures]

There are women out here who absolutely LOVE pleasing their man. I would be one of those gals. I get just as much, if not more, turned on by being the giver and doing whatever I can to make him feel good.

Boy, I hear ya there! This describes me with my husband. I live to tease and please him.

 

[sunandshadow]

Why do we, as women, act frustrated by unsolicited PMs? Of course the guys are grasping at straws when they type out that they want to bend you over and pleasure you for hours. They don't know anything about you except the assumption that you like sex.

It's frustrating because when you really want something it makes you twice as irritated as usual to be given something similar but useless or mistargeted. And it's not true that they know nothing about you - it's so easy to look at a person's search history and profile page and find out a little bit about a person's likes and dislikes. I don't mind being sent PMs if they aren't rude. But the majority don't mention that the guy was interested by anything I posted, they're just random 1-sentence shots from guys who click the "who's online" links at the bottom of the page because they want a quickie cyber with someone online currently. That's not rude but it isn't something I'm interested in at all, and it lowers my initially neutral opinion of a guy to know they'd even do such a thing because it shows they don't care which woman they are talking to, they want nothing more than a willing female body.

 

[Aurelia_Malys]

IBut the majority don't mention that the guy was interested by anything I posted, they're just random 1-sentence shots from guys who click the "who's online" links at the bottom of the page because they want a quickie cyber with someone online currently. That's not rude but it isn't something I'm interested in at all, and it lowers my initially neutral opinion of a guy to know they'd even do such a thing because it shows they don't care which woman they are talking to, they want nothing more than a willing female body.

sunandshadow, i agree completely.

I get most irritated by:
* 1 sentence pms of the type "how you doing?" or "i'd let you suck my cock."
* pms from people who have little to no posting history
* pms that ramble on for paragraphs when I have never heard of the person or spoken to him and he acts like he knows me or i should be honored to talk to him
* follow up pms from men who get pissed that I didnt reply to their unsolicited pms

Honestly, sometimes i feel like I am a random fish where men have thrown bait into the pond and are just keeping their fingers crossed that something, anything, will bite.

 

[xjasminex]

case and point?

I signed up to Lit half a day ago now. I count over 20 PMs from random guys mostly hooking on because perhaps we live in the same country. Apparently.

 

[sunandshadow]

Ya it's tough, honestly I've sent out hundreds and hundreds of unsolicited PMs (maybe 1000 by now?) trying every single random thing I can think of, based on what each woman has posted to a thread.

Although basing it on a post is better than nothing, why the fuck would you even do that? Seriously if you get a positive response from someone on the other side of the world how would that even help you? And there's no way you can have gotten enough of an impression of these women to be fairly sure you would like spending time with them. Why would you want to waste time and effort on someone you aren't fairly sure you would like having as a girlfriend?

One thing I've found very frustrating is that most of the women I've talked to tend to assume that all men are the same.

The men who PM lots of women on this site probably are somewhat "all the same", even though a fair sample of all men would be much less so. Even those same women might feel differently if they encountered you in some normal setting where you were acting like a normal guy instead of a pick up artist.

It's like, men basically lie, because they are trying to be someone they think women want. Honesty, at least at the beginning, doesn't work at all. I wish so badly that it did, but as a whole guys are a bit predatory and can abuse trust even unintentionally so I don't see this changing anytime soon.

Wow that is a really repulsive way to think. You can't start a relationship pretending to be someone else and expect it not to fall apart whenever you get tired of being dishonest or get caught at it. And you'll never be happy in a relationship where you can't be yourself. Have you considered that starting a relationship by pretending to be someone your not is fundamentally the same as being a con artist, which is a type of thief? Is that really who you want to be? I'm not saying utter total honesty, because little white lies are the grease of society's gears, but even method actors have to build their role to incorporate who they are and only accept roles they will feel fulfilled to play.

I'm not really sure what women want, because a lot of the romance type stuff doesn't seem sexual to me. I wish that I had a partner who wanted at least somewhat similar erotic things to what I want

This is mutual in a mirror-image way: women often want to know what men consider romantic, and often get a response like, " I can tell you what I think is sexy, if that's what you mean...?" Everyone wants a partner who likes the same kinds of things, or complementary things.

To be specific - I only think in details, exactly where I would do what.
If women mainly think in generalities like overall moods and feelings, I don't really know what to do to stimulate that, you know?

Did you mean "simulate" instead of "stimulate"? Because you might be further ahead trying to imagine what it is like to be a woman in this situation than by thinking of women as a black box and asking people where to poke that box to get the response you want out of it. The ethics of a manipulative approach aside, you're failing at it because you don't understand your audience that you are trying to act for.

As for the overall vs. details, I don't know if you are familiar with personality types (MBTI or Myers-Briggs or Kiersey-Bates or whatever, the 4-letter code ones). But that right there sounds like an N vs. S difference. Ns think in patters and the big picture, Ses think in details. Both genders have roughly equal amounts of Ns and Ses, and Ses are the more common kind. (I personally am an N, like maxing out the N side of the scale.)

The whole time I've been on Lit, maybe two or three women have PM'd me out of the blue, enjoying something I've written.

If you talk to someone IN a thread first, that can help it not be out of the blue. Though personally I'm still boggled why anyone, male or female, would bother trying to "pick up" someone who doesn't live close by enough to physically meet.

In only a handful of cases have we talked about something really "real", like what it feels like to have a uterine orgasm or something really existential.

This is your definition of "real"? "Real" discussion topics should be things like your hobbies, because you should be trying to give people a glimpse at your personality and what it would be like to hang out with you.

That's what's surprised me the most I'd say, because before I joined Lit, I thought that women thought about the nature of sex in a more fundamental way and knew secrets that men didn't.

Ahaha no. The amusement value of hearing that was almost worth responding to the rest of this somewhat disturbing mess of thoughts.

They mostly downplay what it's like to be female, and are almost bewildered when I tell them that they are such a mystery

Ur, duhhh, we've only been female every minute of every day of our whole lives. Do you pause in your day to be astonished that you are male? No, it's a boring background fact of life, and no one really knows what it's like living in anyone else's body and perhaps more importantly with someone else's hormones and brain chemicals.

that women don't really understand why men are fascinated by them, they only think they do.

A loth of women don't understand that, and don't think they do. Me, I'm like, Boobs? Why the fuck would anyone like those when they could look at a flat male chest instead? Pussies? Wow are these designed stupidly. FFM? Seriously not interested, at all. OMG why would anyone want to spend time with that shallow bitch in the next office over who obsesses about her appearance and acts like she's better than everyone when her head is empty of anything but her diet and buying more expensive clothes and putting down anyone who's different than her? Yet these dumb men flock to her because she has an hourglass figure and spends an hour each day on her hair and makeup. Don't they even notice how bad that super-girly perfume smells?

But yeah, ranting aside, no one but an utter egotist thinks they are fascinating to others, because everyone's daily experience tells you that the majority of random people you meet have 0 interest in you. This is true irrelevant of gender.

And men don't realize that women don't have the same fascination with sex, that they are more focused on having children or appearing respectable, things that men don't really think about.

I in general like men, but if there is one single thing I detest about men in general it is that they don't think about having children. OTOH I've met men who are totally obsessed with appearing respectable, and people of either gender who pay more attention to appearances than inner desires and happiness tend to be nasty people.

I don't see any way to be honest without seeming unappealing. Sort of like, the less curious a man is, maybe women view that as more similar to their own interests. So a simple man is more attractive than a complex one.

Wow that logic confuses the hell out of me. Curiosity is not what's unappealing here, an utter misunderstanding of the world is. Maybe instead you should try to be a better person by objectively evaluating yourself and trying to live more in the good parts of your character and less in the bad ones. Everyone should do this as part of making themselves a worthwhile person. Like me, I know I have character flaws of being lazy and inclined to being judgmental. I'm aware that I'm indulging my judgmental side in writing this post, but it seems like one of the rare occasions where the "kick in the pants" approach might actually be more helpful than the "coat the medicine with sugar" approach. In general I always try to be patient, not get angry, give others the benefit of the doubt, and the hardest one, make myself take action and be industrious instead of avoiding work and giving up easily on things that turn out to be difficult.

 

[jen_litgirl]

It's frustrating because when you really want something it makes you twice as irritated as usual to be given something similar but useless or mistargeted. And it's not true that they know nothing about you - it's so easy to look at a person's search history and profile page and find out a little bit about a person's likes and dislikes. I don't mind being sent PMs if they aren't rude. But the majority don't mention that the guy was interested by anything I posted, they're just random 1-sentence shots from guys who click the "who's online" links at the bottom of the page because they want a quickie cyber with someone online currently. That's not rude but it isn't something I'm interested in at all, and it lowers my initially neutral opinion of a guy to know they'd even do such a thing because it shows they don't care which woman they are talking to, they want nothing more than a willing female body.

I agree completely that it's frustrating. My point is that if women are expecting to 'meet' someone then it will be more effective on a site that is designed for that purpose like match. com or some equivalent. There are loads of people here who are coming for the camaraderie and the information. The sole purpose of Lit isn't to hook up so we can't expect the men who are fishing here to be fantastic at wooing women.

I also agree that it's damn easy for a man to quickly find out some great information about you with little digging. Totally, completely agree that it's possible but like you said, they rarely bother so they're working with a handicap.

I guess I'm trying to say that I don't think we (men or women) can expect more than what we're getting here. That's all.

ETA. I typed this on my phone so if it sounds ridiculous then I blame it on spell check. ;-)

 

[Emerson40]

I always write PMs to women on Lit about the myriad of things I would do, all the ways I would kiss and tease and make them shudder. I've always been wired that way, to explore, not to receive.

But I was thinking, what about all the things that girls want to do to guys? I've never really talked with someone about that before, and honestly in my own experience, it doesn't seem like women really want men? Am I missing something?

Write about it here, or if it's too risque, try it out in a PM..

Mike

Ya it's tough, honestly I've sent out hundreds and hundreds of unsolicited PMs (maybe 1000 by now?) trying every single random thing I can think of, based on what each woman has posted to a thread (I don't cc or mass-PM). Every woman is so different that one thing might appeal to one and totally insult another.

One thing I've found very frustrating is that most of the women I've talked to tend to assume that all men are the same. Which is somewhat ironic, considering how much women pride themselves on their individuality. So maybe I've exaggerated aspects of myself in many ways to stand out from the crowd. It's like, men basically lie, because they are trying to be someone they think women want. Honesty, at least at the beginning, doesn't work at all. I wish so badly that it did, but as a whole guys are a bit predatory and can abuse trust even unintentionally so I don't see this changing anytime soon.

Anyway, to get back to the OP comment, ya I was thinking about that too, how my need to explore a woman's body and try to feel what she feels is more my desire than hers. I'm not really sure what women want, because a lot of the romance type stuff doesn't seem sexual to me. I wish that I had a partner who wanted at least somewhat similar erotic things to what I want, so I wasn't always guessing all the time. It must be wonderful to have that kind of relationship. To be specific - I only think in details, exactly where I would do what. If women mainly think in generalities like overall moods and feelings, I don't really know what to do to stimulate that, you know?

Mike

Oh hah ya I guess it sounds bad when you put it that way hmm. The problem is that I usually have to PM ten or twenty women, sometimes more, to get one response. And I've had several good conversations with women on threads but they never PM me directly, so I can't ask what I want to ask because it's embarrassing or too personal. I'm not looking to cyber or exchange pics or anything like that, most of my messages are questions. The whole time I've been on Lit, maybe two or three women have PM'd me out of the blue, enjoying something I've written. Usually though they want to hear something kinky, like what I would make them do in public or in a threesome or are into anal or areas where I don't want to go. In only a handful of cases have we talked about something really "real", like what it feels like to have a uterine orgasm or something really existential.

That's what's surprised me the most I'd say, because before I joined Lit, I thought that women thought about the nature of sex in a more fundamental way and knew secrets that men didn't. I'm not sure I think that anymore. It seems like women think about sex the way a guy does when he first discovers it, and then the curiosity stops there, like they don't want to know any more. They mostly downplay what it's like to be female, and are almost bewildered when I tell them that they are such a mystery to men, and that if the situation was reversed, men wouldn't leave their rooms for DAYS hahah. This could all very well be a problem with me, that I haven't moved on from the adolescent level. This may be one of the divides between the sexes, that women don't really understand why men are fascinated by them, they only think they do. And men don't realize that women don't have the same fascination with sex, that they are more focused on having children or appearing respectable, things that men don't really think about. I'm jealous of guys who are with women who have that insatiable sexual appetite that seems like something from fantasy. It must be so awesome. It seems like a lot of guys take that for granted.

I guess my point is, if a woman PM'd me as a result of this thread, I'd be very surprised. Re-reading this, I don't see any way to be honest without seeming unappealing. Sort of like, the less curious a man is, maybe women view that as more similar to their own interests. So a simple man is more attractive than a complex one. Whenever I've tried to get a conversation going on Lit, I've been met with a lot of hostility.

When confronted with this sort of thing in real life, I guess I ask "what would you have me do?" because the solution is more nebulous than it seems. Man I kind of took this off topic, sorry I blew it again.

Mike

Mike,

I'm not sure you are in the right place. I'm wondering just what your intentions were, what it was you were hoping to achieve when you signed on to Lit.

Were you just looking for a place where you could just log in, send out some PMs, and have some women contact you to discuss uterine orgasms and other such topics? Or are you here seeking and hoping to find the elusive, highly-sexual, and always horny woman? If the answer is yes to one or both of these questions, you are in for a continuous string of let-down and disappointment.

The women here are the same women you see in your neighborhood. Young, old, and all ages in between. Mothers, wives, cheaters, soccer moms, widows, and the single and fancy free. The divorced and soon to be divorced. Professionals, housewives, four whores, two spinsters, and even a few sisters sleeping with their brothers (every neighborhood has at least 2). The point is, the women here are people. Sure, they are here on a site about sexuality (not a sex site, a site about sexuality) and have avatars and usernames, but they are still women, and should be treated as such. Much the same way you would not walk up to a woman in a bar, or on the street and ask her if she has experienced a vagina orgasm, and if she would like to discuss how it varies from orgasms of the clitoral variety with you, you should not approach the women here in such an inappropriate fashion.

As for unsolicited PMs, you are wasting your time and energy. Think about it. How many unsolicited PMs would you respond to. It's like regular snail-mail that comes addressed to "resident" or "homeowner". I never open it - I think it gets sent to keep the manufacturers of the blue recycle boxes in business .
Add to this that most of the PMs recieved by the women here have unwanted peni pics attached, and language that objectifies, belittles, and disappoints. By your own words in the first post of this thread, you state that you write about all the things you would do to them. If you have not sent a pic of your cock yet, you are only marginally better than the others who have.

As to your posts... You haven't posted a great deal, but the few posts in this thread read a little like "Me, me, me. Okay, enough of me going on about myself, what do you think of me?" This may not be how you are, but it is how you come across a bit, in this thread at least. PMs aside, this is not an attractive trait, and will not get any ladies racing to the keyboard to message you, or to reply to any of your messages. And if you don't think that women look at your profile and check your post history after getting a PM from you, you are in worse shape than I thought.

Some advice: There is a thread - I think it may be in the Personals forum - where you can post something about yourself, and what it is you are looking for and hoping to experience on Lit. I think a creative and honest post there, where others can read and get an idea about who you are, will be more productive for you than 500 unsolicited PMs.
Also, the advice others gave you earlier in this thread about posting more is solid advice. Participate, engage, contribute. This will get others noticing you, and once they get to know you, be more receptive to messages you may decide to send.

 

[Saucy1980]

i often have thoughts of what i would like to do to a guy and if they would like it and often fantasize about it all, and putting it all into place is even more exciting, if i am made to feel like i am wanted by a man then the feeling is recipicated and always shown that i want them

 

[FloridaSmoothie]

My two cents...

First, the Lit forum is not for dating. Most of us do not come here to find a romantic or sexual relationship. To use it for such may not be a good use of time and effort.

Second, one posted above, people on Lit are "highly interested in sex." I think nearly all people are highly interested in sex, the difference is Lit people are more interested in exploring their sexual thoughts and feelings, and we've accepted our sexuality more than those that refuse to accept theirs.