What does your answering machine say?

[Andreina]

Reveal the secret life of your answering machine/voicemail/mailbox..... c'mon - you know you want to


Mine says:
Hi you've unsuccessfully tried to reach ****** (enter my name here ). I'm a) not in at the moment, b) not in the mood to talk to you at the moment or c) trapped under something really heavy and not able to reach the phone. If you want you can leave me a message and if I like your message then maybe I call you back.

 

[The Nitelight]

*Beep*

 

[April]

I have no idea what it says. It's in German. LOL
And hubby won't let me change it. That's so that when his father calls, he'll think he got the wrong number! LOL

 

[Calamity Jane]

Cell Phone: "You have reached the automatic voice message system of Jane *******. Leave a message at the tone." I've unsuccessfully tried to put a real message on it countless times, to no avail.

Home Phone: You have reached Jane and **** at *** **** ********* (insert company name). Please leave a detailed message, including your area code and we'll return your call as soon as possible."

Gods, those sound too grown up!

 

[Moridin187]

Right now I'm living with my father, so we've got a really stupid message.. but once I get out into my own place, the message will be something like this:

*sounds of a woman panting and dueling bed springs*
*in a distracted and breathless voice* Hi, yeah, busy, later
*woman moaning as bed springs creaking increases, moans and screams gradually get louder, my voice joining in the groans until... BEEP*

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

I only have a cell phone and I left it at the default greeting.

Something like this; "you have reached xxx-xxx-xxxx, press one to leave a message". I don't give my number to too many people. I also get no telemarketng calls.

 

[privy2u]

Hello - I ain't HERE!
Are you THERE?
If you are, leave a message
So that when I get HERE
If you ain't THERE
I'll know what the fuck was so damn important that you felt you had to leave me a message!
(beep)
your memory is full
please clear memory in order to record incoming calls
(beep)


hehehe - I fuckin love it -

privy

 

[Starfish]

It's broken. Buying a new phone soon.

Usually it says.... Hi, you've reached (#), where David nor Gretchen can answer your call right now so please leave a message. Peace, love and a good day to you.
*Beep*.

When I put a new one on, it will have cool ass sitar music playing in the background, where the last one had nothing and mid messaged you could hear one of our cats do a big wallering *MEeeoooW*.

 

[Mellon Collie]

Leave a message.

That's it, plain and simple.

Before that is was Homer Simpson humming the Hustle. (You know what I'm talking about if you saw that episode.)

 

[MissTaken]

Mine says only

"You have no new messages."


Oh! That isn't what you wanted to know....actually I have not personalized it. I may, though, after reading some of these posts.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Leave a message.

That's it, plain and simple.

Before that is was Homer Simpson humming the Hustle. (You know what I'm talking about if you saw that episode.)

woo hoo a simpson fan at heart you are.


My answereing machine says.

"You don't have an answering maching. Stop talking into the toaster"

 

[Chuckus]

Mine says.............

"Here's the beep, you know the rest........"

It used to have this on it though.......

when the answering machine kicked on, music was playing really loud in the backround and I say "Hello.." pause a few seconds then "Hello" again.......pause "hang on a second I need to turn the stereo down" then you can hear the music turning down in the backround......you could hear me pick the phone back up and I said "Hello I am not available to take your call, please leave a message."

Sometimes though I just get on there and say

"Leave a message and I'll get back to you"

 

[alexandraaah]

I have issues with NO ONE being able to pronounce my name, so mine says:

Hi you've reached (phone number), if you think my name is Lay Douche, please don't leave a message and kindly remove me from your list...if you know me, leave a message...

 

[Calamity Jane]

When I was single, mine played the Soul Asylum song...

"I'm waiting by the phone... waiting for you to call me up and tell me I'm not alone..."

 

[Rusher]

My machine also says you have no new messages, but it does it an annoying way. It says it like this:

You have NO new messages.


As if I'm wasting the machine's time asking and it's pissed off about it. In the name of consumer rights, I think the store should be required to have a machine on display so you can hear whether it sounds pissy or not before you buy it.

 

[Cheyenne]

Hmmm... mine still says "Merry Christmas" at the end of the greeting.

Maybe I'll get around to changing it tomorrow.

 

[perks]

OMG.....mine still talks about the "bun" that's what we called my daughter when I was prego. She's 10 months now....I think maybe I should change it.

 

[JazzManJim]

Mine says:

"Hi! You've reached [My Number]. I can't take your call at the moment. Please laeve your name, number, and a brief message and I'll return your call as soon as I'm able. Have a great day! *BEEP*".

I know..it's boring. But on the good side, I was once told that there was a telemarketing office that called my number 15 times once while I was away because the woman there wanted to hear my voice. Apparently I caused a bit of a stir. They told me this on the machine itself and were very apologetic and kind of giggly. I was pretty flattered.

 

[Rhys]

Hullo this is Rhys. If you got this recording, I'm probably in the loo. Call back or leave a message. Thanks! <<original music before beep>>

its on my cell phone...

 

[Stonedagger]

Well you did ask

And since I really am a smart ass mine says

I'm sorry I missed your call, really I am all broken up over it, leave a message and when i Hobble in I will return your call....BEEP


My mother HATES this message - she always leaves a message starting with...

When are you going to change that son....

 

[phrodeau]

Hello, and welcome to my phone! Coming to you from xxx-xxx-xxxx, and I'll be right back after this message from YOU!

 

[SilverVeil]

When I had a recorder with 5 minutes time available it was :

You have reached the Psychiatric hot line.
If you are manic depressive press 1
If you have split personalities press 2 3 & 4
If you are paraniod don't bother to press any buttons, we know where you are and are coming to get you.
If you are apathetic, it does not matter which button you press, no one will call you back anyway.
* beep *

After about 2 times of having to listen to the whole thing over and over, most people just hang up.

My new message is going to be Marvin the Martin saying " Leave a message at the sound of the Kaboom..... where's the Kaboom ? There was supposed to be a Kaboom !!! "

 

[Wiggles]

Mine used to say: This is Nick and Amber's apartment...Please leave a message and we might call you back.

But after getting some "constructive critism" from the families, we decided to ask for a message in a polite way, and something about trying to call them back.

I still believe this is wrong, If I try to call you back I'll get through. If I don't want to call you back, I won't.

I think people need to hear the truth.

 

[seXieleXie]

my cell phone used to say "hi you've reached alexis's cell phone and obviously i can't take your call right now, but if you leave your name and number i'll get back to you as soon as possible" but since my father uses it when i'm on the east coast it now says "you have reached xxx-xxx-xxxx, please leave a message after the tone"

my roommate and i were engaged in passive-agressive answering machine message war for a while. she set a message, i thought it was boring so i changed it to something funny, she changed it back, and so on. i gave up after the second time she changed it back because it's not that important to me, but i still think the message is boring and too abrupt. "you've reached <roomie's name> and alexis, leave a message"

 

[ohiobbw]

Mine says "Please record after the tone."

Sometimes I add a new message, but then the phone gets mad at me and resets itself.

I think it confuses people and they hang up.