What do you think a girl prefers.....

[SnoopDog]

What do you think a woman would prefer. For a man to be able to last long during sex or for him to be able to come inside her or for her?

I'm asking since I can last pretty long (so pre-mature ejaculation is not an issue) during sex. However, I don't seem to be able to cum inside my g/f or during normal sex. I can cum if she jerks or blows me off but the real thing doesn't seem to work (only close calls).

Now while I think she should enjoy the fact that the sex is not over quickly, I got the slight feeling that it annoys her that I don't cum. Even though I told her it is not her fault and it is no problem for me, it still seems to bother her.

Any thoughts on this?


Snoopy,

 

[LukkyKnight]

It doesn't matter what "a girl prefers," it matters what the one you're with enjoys. They're not all going to answer the same way.

 

[emap]

All three are wonderful, kind of a no brainer question there.

Anyway, i'm wondering how long do you try the normal sex where you get close?

Also think on the difference between her 'handling' you and sex, what goes through your mind while she is doing that, and what goes through your mind when you are on top of her. Besides maybe your focusing on cumming in her, doing that makes you take longer, perhaps your thinking of something else that is not sending you soaring when you are inside her.

If all else fails, read literotica until your near to bursting then hop in bed with her, you might go fast but she will be a happy little camper, well at least I know I would be if you were my boyfriend.

 

[kevintn]

Thought

If both of you want you to finish while in her, while in the missionary position, have her close her legs. The added friction seems to do the trick for us.
Good luck.

 

[RuReal]

I read someplace a while back that this kind of thing can occur due to someone who masturbates a bit too roughly. It is kind of desensitization.

I am not going to ask how much you wank off or anything, but my comment like the other person pointed out is it could be a pressure thing. You may prefer it rough. I would try the other persons suggestion there is also different positions you can try that might provide more stimulation.

As for what she feels I suggest trying to talk to her about it.
I know talking to someone about intimacy can be hard, but sometimes you have to bite the bullet.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Hi Snoop - couple of thoughts:

You're both young, so may not have figured out yet that there really is no right or wrong way to have sex or to come. Don't stress out about what you or she think is supposed to happen and how or when, and just enjoy it as it happens.

Second, lasting longer during sex isn't about thrusting for hours on end. It means making the sex session last longer. It can be uncomfortable for a woman to have a penis thrusting inside her steadily for 20 to 30 minutes. You might want to break up the sex play and mix it up with oral for her or for you, then some PIV sex, then change positions, then more oral, etc. until you're ready to come. By then, you've hopefully given her at least one orgasm, you've been having sex for ages, and you both end up satisfied (and she's not sore from constant thrusting!).

Third, she might need some reassurance that the reason you can't come inside her has nothing to do with your attraction for her, or that you don't like being inside her, etc. Sometimes it can make a girl feel insecure if her guy can only come a certain way. Be honest and tell her you haven't figured out why it's that way, but as you've just started having sex recently, you're still learning how your body works and it's going to take some practice and experimentation...and you really like practicing and experimenting with her.

Finally, a lot of guys say they have less sensation while wearing a condom, so that could be why it's tough for you to come during PIV sex. Try putting a drop of lube inside the condom as well as using more lube outside - that can help a lot with increasing the sensation for you. Don't put more than one or two drops of lube inside - condom might slip off if you use too much.

Good luck!

 

[SweetErika]

Now while I think she should enjoy the fact that the sex is not over quickly, I got the slight feeling that it annoys her that I don't cum. Even though I told her it is not her fault and it is no problem for me, it still seems to bother her.

Perhaps it's more disappointment than annoyance on her part. We usually hear penetrative sex is the ultimate pleasure for men, so I'm sure you can imagine she may interpret your inability to come during PiV as something wrong with her body, style, actions, appeal, etc.

In addition, PiV for many is the ultimate in intimacy and brings physical and emotional feelings like nothing else. For me, these feelings often peak during and after my partner comes inside me. If he frequently couldn't or wouldn't for some reason, I'd definitely feel a loss, or like an important piece was missing.

At any rate, I'd want to work with my partner so he could come during sex at least some of the time. Lasting is great to a certain point, but I'd prefer he be so turned on and relaxed that he couldn't help but explode (and enjoy every second of it) inside of me. If that means lasting only a few minutes, provided I feel satisfied, so be it.