What do you make of this fantasy?

[SageCageRage]

I just met someone new and she expressed a fantasy I wasn't familiar with.

She wants me to throw her against a wall and do whatever I want with her.

No problems with the last part.

But I'm trying to figure out where the first part comes from.

Does she want to be dominated?

She's a little insecure, so I could also take it to mean that she wants someone to find her so desirable that they just can't control themselves.

So I asked myself the obvious question- Throw? How hard? I'm pretty strong and I don't want to hurt her.

Anybody familiar with this fantasy? Care to help me dress it up and make it great for her?

Thanks

 

[Chicklet]

Well, don't actually *throw* her...

If I were you, I would grab her by the hair (Bigger handfulls will hurt less) and push her against the wall. Pin her with your body, hold her head up by the hair, and kiss her. Then do the dirty things

 

[conhed]

I would think that the "throw against a wall" is figurative rather than literal. The handful of hair idea would allow you to cushion the head with your hand to avoid injury. I would say to take a large handful of hair in one hand, leaving a bit of play, and to place the other hand on the throat in a choke position and use both to control the force of the push as well as force the head into a kissable position. If her hands or legs demonstrate resistance, have some binding material such as rope, cord or tape available and turn her around to face the wall while securing the errant limbs. She appears to desire to be taken so as to avoid responsibility for her desires, but remember that there must be a way for her to call a halt. Rape is not a fun activity in the eyes of the law. You MUST remain in control of yourself to insure her safety as well as the satisfaction of her fantasy, not to mention your freedom from incarceration.

The very first thing to do is to discuss a safe word and practice it's use. My usual method is the nipple pinch and twist. Do it until she uses the safe word and then stop immediately. Prove that you will not go over the line and you will be able to explore limits later, once complete mutual trust is established. You must be certain that she will not file a complaint against you, and she must be sure of her safety even in painful situations. Any other approach is for very serious seasoned veterans of BDSM, and you are not that, if I may judge by the question.

A very important part of trust is communication. It must be continual within the boundaries that have been set. There has been much written about subspace, that wonderful realm where pain and pleasure are indistinguishable. Knowing the sub's limits is most important at that time because the sub cannot tell what is dangerous and what is not. The Master must be careful to recognize this state of arousal and remain within limits for the duration. This is advanced play and the Master must be absolutely sober and in control when it happens, the key is to recognize that communication is no longer taking place in both directions. Knowledge and awareness are essential. A good Master has at least an idea of how to recognize the signals that a body is in endorphine overload. Research is Love. Alcohol/drugs and BDSM are a life wrecking mix. Just don't do it, save the champagne for the end of the fun, not as an ice breaker for it, at least when you first begin the journey down this kinkiest of roads.

Best wishes, I hope you both find what you seek,

conhed

 

[YourCaptor]

My guess is she just wants to be pressed to a wall while being fucked.

 

[intothewoods]

My guess is she just wants to be pressed to a wall while being fucked.

*ding ding*

Don't we all? Oh, my bad. Anyhoo, yeah, she sometimes likes it rough.

 

[BiBunny]

My guess is she just wants to be pressed to a wall while being fucked.

Occam's Razor at work, y'all.

 

[intothewoods]

Occam's Razor at work, y'all.

You tease.

 

[BiBunny]

You tease.

Hey, I gotta be good for something!

 

[00Syd]

My guess is she just wants to be pressed to a wall while being fucked.

HAHAHAAHAHA.



Well said.

 

[FurryFury]

Like, she probably saw it in a movie and it looked good. Wait till she sees how it really feels.

LMAO!

 

[conhed]

"thrown against a wall and fucked"

Too simple. Too quick. Too limiting.

Try to see the real request, to be taken and used, not just for a fuck, but as an exploration of her sexuality. It is a statement of what she finds exciting and erotic, and that is to have someone show her that she is irresistible.

If a rape was all that she wanted, all she has to do is walk down the right dark alley at the wrong time. Give the girl credit for asking for a fantasy to be lived out in relative safety, instead of taking stupid risks.

It is about her desires as a person, and to discover whether the reality is as good as the fantasy, if she wants to go farther later, she will, but exploration will be cut short if the fantasy turns out needlessly bad.

The proper way to approach this is to have a frank discussion in a public place, like a restaurant, and set the bounds, then to return to a private setting for the realization of the scene. Then just do it with no further ado, as soon as the door is closed. Tell her that she drove you crazy with all that talk about her fantasy and that you are gonna do it NOW, while pinning her to the wall. Remind her that there is only one way to stop it, and then follow through.

All this assumes that a relationship is desired by both parties. If she just wants a rough fuck, just be careful to listen for the "NO" that means stop now. It is your life on the line if she decides you went too far.

Regards,

conhed

 

[IsabellaKing]

You've definitely got to discuss this more, before you go throwing her against a wall. In my experience, fantasies rarely translate literally...due to the fact that men seem to have this uncanny knack of misinterpreting every single thing a woman says

 

[catalina_francisco]

My guess is she just wants to be pressed to a wall while being fucked.

Personally speaking if it were me and I had said I wanted to be thrown against the wall, just pressing me against a wall while we had sex wouldn't do it...did that plenty in the vanilla world and while it was nice as a variation it wasn't the same as being physically and roughly thrown against the wall and taken. It doesn't have to be to the level it would cause fractured skull, whiplash, broken bits and pieces etc., but usually for most does require more than pressing against the wallspace. Best idea would be to ask her to elaborate a little so you know exactly what she is thinking of.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2198/2381116314_80ba2d5fa6_t.jpg Catalina

 

[snowbyte]

Grab her by the hair, push her up against the wall, then start pulling her up until she's on her toes. You'll have her in an unbalanced state. That's the point you ask a couple of questions and try to determine what she really wants. Or she may freak out

 

[VelvetDarkness]

She wants me to throw her against a wall and do whatever I want with her.

I agree with conhed here, she wants you to take control and that goes further than simply pressing her against a wall.

I would interpret this as your girl wanting you to make all the decisions and have her do whatever it is that takes your mood at the time. This doesn't have to be elaborate or extreme. If you want a BJ, push her to her knees and put your cock in her mouth. If you want to fuck her, pin her to the nearest had surface and fuck her. The salient point here is that she wants to do what you want her to do. She wants you to focus on your pleasure and not hers, to disregard her pleasure in the interest of getting exactly what you want.

This only works if you can genuinely enjoy being in control and treating her like this.

The modern man is sometimes so hung up on coaxing orgasms out of his partner, ensuring enough foreplay, respecting her in the morning and so on. Sometimes a woman just wants to be made to feel like one; to know that her man is stronger than she is, more feral and selfish. Sometimes women get tired of lovemaking and yearn to be fucked.

I wouldn't go pinning labels like 'submissive' on your lady until you find out how deep this rabbit hole goes. She may be completely satisfied with you going into asshole mode on occasion, alternatively she might crave floggers and harsh discipline. There is no way of knowing at this stage.

Take things slowly, baby steps. Communicate a lot, get her to outline her fanstasies in more detail so you know where she's coming from with this and where she wants to go with it. Shyness is cute but ultimately will lead to misunderstandings if you're going to play these games. If she wants this then she wants it enough to discuss her desires in detail. Have her write them down if she really can't elaborate to your face.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Well, don't actually *throw* her...

If I were you, I would grab her by the hair (Bigger handfulls will hurt less) and push her against the wall. Pin her with your body, hold her head up by the hair, and kiss her. Then do the dirty things while taking pictures to post right here

nods

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Occam's Razor at work, y'all.

Who's Occam, and do you think he'd mind if I borrowed his razor?

 

[BiBunny]

Who's Occam, and do you think he'd mind if I borrowed his razor?

Probably not. He's a generous soul.

 

[SageCageRage]

Thanks guys...

I get to meet her in person next week, so we'll see.

She is infuriatingly uncommunicative, so I plan to take it slowly. We've developed quite a bit of feelings for each other, so, first meeting, I want to make very few assumptions and stay away from being overbearing.

If it progresses well, I have quite a good voice of command and a commanding physical presence. I think I'll start there.

What kinds of things would really trip your trigger to hear whispered in your ear?

Thanks for your patience... this is all very new to me, coming from a stunted Bible-belt culture.

 

[Netzach]

I've heard a lot of vanilla people adopt phrasing like this to mean just really low-level activity - just "take the sexual lead".

But it also could mean more than "press me against the wall and forcefully screw me and kiss me"

but often it does NOT. I've had my eyes light up more than once or twice with a date who said he "likes taking direction" to find out that does NOT involve any hitting of him or anything I find especially fun or neat that way. It means "you set the pace and activities of the sex we have" well....duh. Not exactly going to meet my kink needs, and not that kinky.

 

[YourCaptor]

but often it does NOT. I've had my eyes light up more than once or twice with a date who said he "likes taking direction" to find out that does NOT involve any hitting of him or anything I find especially fun or neat that way. It means "you set the pace and activities of the sex we have" well....duh. Not exactly going to meet my kink needs, and not that kinky.

I always think its funny when people think they are kinky because they swallow.

 

[SirLeo]

Well, don't actually *throw* her...

If I were you, I would grab her by the hair (Bigger handfulls will hurt less) and push her against the wall. Pin her with your body, hold her head up by the hair, and kiss her. Then do the dirty things

m loves it when I do that to her. I would add, hold her hands togeher up against the wall over her head.

What I think she loves is a combiantion of "being taken against her will" and a man finding her so attractive that he is overcome with lust and desire for her.

Either way, enjoy!

 

[BiBunny]

I've heard a lot of vanilla people adopt phrasing like this to mean just really low-level activity - just "take the sexual lead".

But it also could mean more than "press me against the wall and forcefully screw me and kiss me"

but often it does NOT. I've had my eyes light up more than once or twice with a date who said he "likes taking direction" to find out that does NOT involve any hitting of him or anything I find especially fun or neat that way. It means "you set the pace and activities of the sex we have" well....duh. Not exactly going to meet my kink needs, and not that kinky.

Yeah, I was going to say that, too. In my book, that's not kinky. That's lazy.

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks guys...

I get to meet her in person next week, so we'll see.

She is infuriatingly uncommunicative, so I plan to take it slowly. We've developed quite a bit of feelings for each other, so, first meeting, I want to make very few assumptions and stay away from being overbearing.

If it progresses well, I have quite a good voice of command and a commanding physical presence. I think I'll start there.

What kinds of things would really trip your trigger to hear whispered in your ear?

Thanks for your patience... this is all very new to me, coming from a stunted Bible-belt culture.

Everyone is different. What would turn me on would not necessarily turn on your girl and might turn off others. She needs to learn to truly communicate with you and vice versa. Otherwise the two of you will never be able to really do what the other wishes for because you won't know.

 

[Tebazile]

I would say to take a large handful of hair in one hand, leaving a bit of play, and to place the other hand on the throat in a choke position and use both to control the force of the push as well as force the head into a kissable position.

Personally, I would freak out if someone who I'd never met (that's what I'm gathering from his other posts...) put his hands anywhere near my throat. And I'm actually into that. He's going on a statement she made about wanting to feel helpless. That doesn't mean she wants to be scared out of her mind.

Plus, he seems green to being a Dom. Ergo, he doesn't need to do anything that involves holding a life in his hands.

Just my two cents.


Liza