What do I say?

[sweetdeviant]

I feel pretty lame for having to ask this but I'm awkward for sure, and I've never really known what to say during sex. I'm just starting to get into the world of bdsm, my last partner got pretty sadistic with me and it was great, I know I'm a sub but not real experienced with anything other than taking a good beating or strangling. I've only recently become single and it's sort of this new world for me that I've never experienced. It's hard to find a guy willing to hurt you so most of the time I end up saying things like "You should like bite me" "no, like, hard" "no really, bite HAARRDD" but on that rare occasion when I do wind up with a good dominant partner I get so nervous I don't really know what to say. So my question is what are some of the sexiest things you like to hear your sub say or ask?

 

[LearnerDom]

I feel pretty lame for having to ask this but I'm awkward for sure, and I've never really known what to say during sex. I'm just starting to get into the world of bdsm, my last partner got pretty sadistic with me and it was great, I know I'm a sub but not real experienced with anything other than taking a good beating or strangling. I've only recently become single and it's sort of this new world for me that I've never experienced. It's hard to find a guy willing to hurt you so most of the time I end up saying things like "You should like bite me" "no, like, hard" "no really, bite HAARRDD" but on that rare occasion when I do wind up with a good dominant partner I get so nervous I don't really know what to say. So my question is what are some of the sexiest things you like to hear your sub say or ask?

My best subs are the feisty difficult ones. They ones that drive you crazy by sulking and being a pain in the ass. They really drive you on to giving them a good spanking etc.
Try things like "you're not man enough to spank me hard"
or call him pathetic or talk about ex partners , just wind him up.

Of course if you are doing it properly, you have both agreed on a list and using safe words and advertise for a true sadist

 

[eric60red]

More

She is not allowed to say anything, while I enjoy making her body squirm, as I give her what she needs, to satisfy my own perverted mind. After when I hold her in my arms, we talk about how she felt, and if I can improve to make her desires so fulfilling. Some times she is not allowed to cum, and when in my arms, I command her to climax, she finds that very fulfilling, cumming in my arms

 

[leatherleaf]

Each BDSM relationship is different so...

Honestly the others are right - consensual is best. Just hollering out during sex "bite me" is probably not going to get you what you want. You have the opportunity to be up front with your partner if you don't have one currently so take that opportunity. Yes some people will be icked out by it but do you really want to fight for what you want your entire sex life?

That being said (rant over). My bottom/sub/wife (whatever) is allowed to ask for anything as long as it is accompanied by the word "Master". She can ask but she cannot say "no". This works for us because it is safe. She has her hard limit list. I never abuse it. Some things she bears for me and others she enjoys. So she can ask for a harder spanking or for me to pinch a nipple. But she can't ask for me to stop. That being said I watch her to make sure she isn't getting close to "red"ing out.

Lately she's been doing a good job at saying "Thank you Master" for orgasms and asking for permission. That is hot.

It's sexy to hear those things during a scene/sex but what is sexier is hearing her ask before the clothes come off. For instance - our (what I call) 100% BDSM scenes occur every 5th time or so but she has asked for elements the rest of the time. "Hold me down, pull my hair, talk dirty". One of the most profound things we read together, I'll paraphrase - Learn to ask for what you want in a honest, grown-up manner. You deserve the enjoyment you desire. There's no need to manipulate someone into getting it. That defeats the purpose of the D/s relationship and undermines it.

 

[CutieMouse]

You put on your big girl panties and have an adult conversation, outside of sex.

I've reached a point in life where I'm a little... blunter... than most. Most recently, I just flat out asked "What are your thoughts on kink?" while we were texting back and forth one evening. It opened the door to some awesome conversations.

 

[Oubliette123]

Try things like "you're not man enough to spank me hard"
or call him pathetic or talk about ex partners , just wind him up.

I'd be wary of saying this to someone you didn't know

I don't think there is any difference really between talking about your likes/dislikes in a BDSM way than in a vanilla way. Everyone is different, we all have our preferences. In this day and age with so much information available a lifestyle like BDSM isn't really so shocking anymore.