What constitutes cheating?

[glorfindale39]

What constitutes cheating?

I’m very curious about what ya’ll think about this topic. Some people say it is only cheating if it is physical. I have heard people say that this would phone sex is cheating but cyber is not because the voice on the phone adds a physical quality to the encounter. I don’t know, I’m trying to remain unbiased (for once) and hear what others have to say. Some say any metal act that does not involve your partner is cheating be it: e-mail, cyber, phone or even fantasies. There is an extreme range here. Why is that? What are the factors you use to judge one from the other, that is what I’m curious about.

So, answer these two questions:
1. What constitutes cheating in a relationship for you.
2. What are the things that allow you to draw the line.

Cheers,

G.

 

[sufisaint]

It allstarts with the first lie.....

 

[MechaBlade]

People lie about how much they spent at DKNY.

Cheating begins with first sexual contact, be it a kiss or a grope.

 

[WaxNWane]

Sexual contact doesn't necessarily have anything to do with it to me.

It's the betrayal of trust.

 

[sufisaint]

People lie about how much they spent at DKNY.

Cheating begins with first sexual contact, be it a kiss or a grope.

Well there is a reason why the accusation usually goes.."your a liar and a cheater"... 99% of the time liars become cheaters...at least what i have seen...

 

[glorfindale39]

So is it only a physical kiss or grop, or is a cyber or phone kiss the same thing? Is it the intent, or simply the action.

I'll get offf the fence here, I think it is any action that you knowingly commit, even though if you signifigant other found out about it, they would be hurt.

G.

 

[sexy-girl]

i agree with saying about lying


cheating is betraying your girlfriend/boyfriend trust ... that can be having sex or a lie its different for each couple ... but if you're doing something that will upset your SO if they found out then you're cheating

 

[Narcosis]

cheating is when youre intimate with someone in a way you wouldn't be if you knew your boyfriend/girlfriend was there watching.

 

[BlazeofLife]

Cheating is any encounter of any kind which betrays the trust placed in you by your partner.
It is up to you and your partner to decide what the boundary's of that trust are.
I have seen couples who are perfectly happy together who got jealous when the other was in mixed company, and I have seen others have lasting relationships that included multiple partners.
It all depends on the individuals involved to decide how far is to far for their SO to go.
Myself, I have no problem with my other flirting, dancing, etc, so long as no bases are rounded and she leaves with me. I've gone out with girls who would have permitted me more, but I've never taken advantage of that since I wouldn't allow them the same freedom.
Trust is a personal choice.
It is the ultimate gesture of sharing one's self with another, and only you can decide how far that trust extends.

Blaze

 

[caspai]

A relationship is an understanding between two people. That understanding is as individual as the people involved in it. Because of this, cheating will be different for each and every person.

Since my husband and I both have our own Lit accounts, you will have to understand that we have a somewhat unusual relationship. *smile* For me, cheating would be if my husband were doing something that I didn't know about. That includes cyber, phone, and skin to skin. If we both know what is going on, and are both truly comfortable with it, then for us, within our relationship, it isn't cheating. It fits within the understanding we have within our relationship.

If something I wasn't aware of were to happen, the moment I did find out about it, that is when the problems would start. I know that it would be the same for him. It would lead to trying to discover why the one of us who had kept the secret had felt the secret to be necessary. I hate secrets. As soon as you make something secret, you give it the power to destroy you.

 

[caspai]

I guess I could have just said "ditto". *smile*

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

A relationship is an understanding between two people. That understanding is as individual as the people involved in it. Because of this, cheating will be different for each and every person.

Since my husband and I both have our own Lit accounts, you will have to understand that we have a somewhat unusual relationship. *smile* For me, cheating would be if my husband were doing something that I didn't know about. That includes cyber, phone, and skin to skin. If we both know what is going on, and are both truly comfortable with it, then for us, within our relationship, it isn't cheating. It fits within the understanding we have within our relationship.

If something I wasn't aware of were to happen, the moment I did find out about it, that is when the problems would start. I know that it would be the same for him. It would lead to trying to discover why the one of us who had kept the secret had felt the secret to be necessary. I hate secrets. As soon as you make something secret, you give it the power to destroy you.

Very well put.

That is exactly the same relationship my wife and I have, and pretty much the same ideals we stick to.

It's all a matter of trust and honesty.

 

[Reverie]

Sexual contact doesn't necessarily have anything to do with it to me.

It's the betrayal of trust.

That's it for me too. Basically if you are doing something behind your partners back: be it physical cheating, heavy flirting, cybering, phone sex, emotional involvements, whatever; and YOU KNOW it's something your partner would be offended by or hurt because of, then you shouldn't do it. I'd consider it cheating if you are in a monogamous relationship anyway. Now if you're dating with no acknowledged commitment, then whatever you want to do is completely your business. But those are just my personal rules.

I think people should talk about this up front early on in the dating process so everyone knows their boundaries.

 

[caspai]

It isn't an easy ideal to live up to, and a lot of people think we are absolutely insane. *grin* Including my girlfriend. *lmao*

 

[MechaBlade]

cheating is when youre intimate with someone in a way you wouldn't be if you knew your boyfriend/girlfriend was there watching.

I stand by my physical touch with sexual intent.

People have secrets. There are things I imagine I'll never tell anyone. Hell, there are things I've done/witnessed that I will attempt to never even remember.

I have danced with someone who knew that if her boyfriend saw us, then he'd get all upset and jealous. Perfectly harmless.

 

[caspai]

The difference between the relationship I have with my husband and any relationships I may have with other people is that there is nothing I couldn't or wouldn't say to him. I trust him implicitely. He is possibly the only man on the face of the earth I can say that about. It is that trust that makes our very odd relationship work.