What color is terror without Tom Ridge?

[shereads]

With Tom Ridge as the head of Homeland Security, America's Terror Alert Levels were held down to a nearly-constant Yellow, with only a few terrifying spikes to Orange.

Now that Ridge has resigned, how will we know when to be afraid, and how much? Also, what do we do with all the left-over duct tape and plastic sheeting?

BTW, what happened to the anthrax investigation? Was there an arrest that failed to make the front pages because of Janet Jackson's breasts?

Do we stay on Yellow Alert until someone else is in charge? Do we choose our own color?

I feel lost.

 

[Guest]

LOL!

Like Jon Stewart said last night (feigning great sadness) - "Blue."

 

[shereads]

Is blue scary? Or just sad?

I'm not sad. I'll stick with yellow for now.

 

[cantdog]

It's jewel tones this season, ducks.

Primaries are so over with.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

It's jewel tones this season, ducks.

Primaries are so over with.

Oooh I hope it's purple!!

 

[impressive]

Mother(fuckers)-of-pearl ... if it's not "too gay."

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I thought the headline read "Tom Riddle".

*goes back to reading Harry Potter*

 

[Evil Alpaca]

I believe the threat level on this thread has gone to "plaid."

Hey, we should go with trendier colors. Who doesn't want to hear on the news tonight, "The nation's threat level has been raised to Mocha."

 

[impressive]

Paisley? (Terror of the Paramecia ... now in theaters!)

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Is yellow the New Black?

 

[impressive]

Iraq's Terror Alert System

From The Onion:

http://www.theonion.com/images/414/article3028.jpg

 

[shereads]

Hey, we should go with trendier colors. Who doesn't want to hear on the news tonight, "The nation's threat level has been raised to Mocha."

[/B]

Aubergine?

 

[shereads]

Re: Iraq's Terror Alert System

From The Onion:

http://www.theonion.com/images/414/article3028.jpg

I like "Unsettling." It's enough to keep the department funded but nothing that would disrupt the flow of oil.

 

[shereads]

So far, it's Duct Tape by a nose.

What were we supposed to do with the duct tape during a terrorist attack? I don't remember.

Oh, Mr. Ridge! Don't leave me with so many unanswered questions. With Brokaw gone, my alert level is Blood Orange. That's a full shade more terrifying than Orange!