I'm still a virgin at 27. I've been dating someone for approx 4 months, we've gotten serious and have discussed taking that next step (i.e. having sex) but the idea of it petrifies me because I've heard so many first time horror stories. So, Lit, tell me, what can I expect? Some people tell me it will be really painful and not enjoyable the first time while others tell me a different story.
I'm still a virgin at 27. I've been dating someone for approx 4 months, we've gotten serious and have discussed taking that next step (i.e. having sex) but the idea of it petrifies me because I've heard so many first time horror stories. So, Lit, tell me, what can I expect? Some people tell me it will be really painful and not enjoyable the first time while others tell me a different story.
However, if you've explored yourself with your fingers, then the sensation will not be that new. 
Sex often gets better for women over the years.
The painful part will depend on your hymen. For some women, this membrane is very strong and takes a lot to tear - so their first few penetrative sexual times are painful. For other women, the membrane is not as strong, or it's already been torn by horseback riding/tampons/etc. Those women may not feel any pain at all. My experience (as a woman with a very strong hymen!) is that the pain is not awful - menstrual cramps are far far worse. And once the hymen breaks, the pain disappears completely.
You may or may not bleed. Likely, you won't very much at all. If you've never touched your genitals, it might be a new experience.
If you're so nervous that you're dry, don't attempt penetration. Do what it takes to get you ready - making out, oral sex, etc. If you're not a naturally moist person, don't be afraid to use a little K-Y.
Don't expect him to know how to touch you to make you feel good. This goes for all sex all of your life. You should take the time, over the course of your life, to get to know your body (your whole body, not just your tits and vulva) - what makes it feel good, what doesn't. Do you like your neck kissed? Do you like your earlobes bitten? Know what turns you on, what doesn't. Communicate this to your partner not just directly ("bite my earlobes!") but also by your reaction to how he touches you. Don't be afraid to guide his hand/mouth.
And spend time alone touching yourself. You should be able to bring yourself to orgasm. If you can't do this, another person can't either.
Your first time will likely feel clumsy. You probably won't have an orgasm. This is okay. If you do, that's awesome too.
Every woman's experience is different. But in general - I'd say don't expect it to be life changing, because it won't be. And that's okay.
Also: safe sex! It would suck to get unplannededly pregnant or herpes the very first time out (or any time, really). :
Thank you Laurel!
Ignoring all the other rude, inconsiderate messages and have reported those users to the admins here.
Thank you Laurel!
Ignoring all the other rude, inconsiderate messages and have reported those users to the admins here.
Thank you Laurel!
Ignoring all the other rude, inconsiderate messages and have reported those users to the admins here.
It's even funnier than a 27 year old virgin.
Thank you Laurel!
Ignoring all the other rude, inconsiderate messages and have reported those users to the admins here.
