What Are Your Story Pet Peeves?

[SweetErika]

So, I've been editing for awhile now, and am trying my hand at erotica, thanks to Bobsgirl (if you haven't read her newest story [the link's in her sig], you're missing out! ), and realized I have all of these story pet peeves bouncing around in my head.


What do you hate finding in stories? Are they a minor irritation, something you grumble about, or do they make you stop reading?

On the flip side, are there any gems you love to discover?


Feel free to add as you find and remember them.

 

[silverwhisper]

o, erika, thank you for an excuse to rant! :>

things i detest:

1. inability to mix up word choices. this annoys me and is sadly common.
2. they're called characters. that means they're supposed to have personalities and lives.
3. don't tell me her bra size. i work in the business so i know what a 34d really looks like but your average reader doesn't you ignorant ape. do you?
4. please don't recycle tired cliched plot #12.
5. vulgarity. i just find it boring and annoying.
6. if you can't keep the choreography straight, don't try telling a story that has more than two bodies in it. ever.
7. this is more a personal preference thing but i'm finding that i prefer stories that involve relationships. i guess this one isn't a pet peeve, though.

edit: please keep us posted when your story goes live?

ed

 

[AchtungNight]

My personal pet peeves in stories:

- Lack of continuity.

- Porn without plot.

- Characters without development.

- Characters who display stupid prejudices and show no motivation to change.

- Bad guys who don't get what they deserve.

- Good guys left unsatisfied.

- Unrealistic emotional displays.

 

[bobsgirl]

I don't read a huge number of stories here, but so far:

The technicalities. Grammar, punctuation and spelling errors really bother me. It amazes me the number of errors that get by some editiors. (Not you, Erika, you slavedriver! )

Please, please, divide it up in readable paragraphs. If I see long unbroken paragraphs, and this holds true on the boards as well, I am less likely to read it.

I'm sure I'll think of more. It's still early.

 

[Eilan]

3. don't tell me her bra size. i work in the business so i know what a 34d really looks like but your average reader doesn't you ignorant ape. do you?

And along those lines, mentioning the bra size along with weight. While I suppose anything is possible, I find it difficult to believe that a woman with 38DD breasts weighs only 100 pounds. Unless she's, say, 4'5" tall.

I don't read enough of the stories to have an informed opinion, though.

 

[zekealicious]

Stories that have unbelieveable scripts...prefer stories that sound as they might have actually happened...fantasy and far out settings are ok...mean those stories where ya read em and go "oh please"...

poor grammar/spelling

the ones that launch into the raunch in like the first two sentences....

 

[Eilan]

launch into the raunch

I like that!!

 

[hogjack]

My personal pet peeves in stories:

- Unrealistic emotional displays.

Hmmmm...I've always found a temper tantrum followed shortly thereafter by a declaration of undying devotion and eternal love to be kinda hot.

 

[zekealicious]

thanks..made that up all by my lil ole self...you can use it, be sure to give me the credit though

 

[SweetErika]

o, erika, thank you for an excuse to rant! :>

things i detest:

1. inability to mix up word choices. this annoys me and is sadly common.
2. they're called characters. that means they're supposed to have personalities and lives.
3. don't tell me her bra size. i work in the business so i know what a 34d really looks like but your average reader doesn't you ignorant ape. do you?
4. please don't recycle tired cliched plot #12.
5. vulgarity. i just find it boring and annoying.
6. if you can't keep the choreography straight, don't try telling a story that has more than two bodies in it. ever.
7. this is more a personal preference thing but i'm finding that i prefer stories that involve relationships. i guess this one isn't a pet peeve, though.

edit: please keep us posted when your story goes live?

ed

This covers many of mine, as well. Out of curiosity, what do you consider vulgarity, and the worst tired plot?

And, yes, I'll let you know when it's posted.


AchtungNight and BG, I share yours, too. Technical problems drive me nuts. It always amazes me how some people can look past a bunch of them, and actually come back with all positive feedback for the piece.

Inaccuracies in First Time stories are my latest pet peeve. If you're going to talk about the hymen, know where it's located (hint: NOT well inside the vagina). No, the vast majority of women don't want to keep going out of pleasure after their hymen's been torn--vaginal injuries hurt and don't heal magically in seconds, folks!--much less orgasm from it.

 

[bobsgirl]

This covers many of mine, as well. Out of curiosity, what do you consider vulgarity, and the worst tired plot?

And, yes, I'll let you know when it's posted.


AchtungNight and BG, I share yours, too. Technical problems drive me nuts. It always amazes me how some people can look past a bunch of them, and actually come back with all positive feedback for the piece.

Inaccuracies in First Time stories are my latest pet peeve. If you're going to talk about the hymen, know where it's located (hint: NOT well inside the vagina). No, the vast majority of women don't want to keep going out of pleasure after their hymen's been torn--vaginal injuries hurt and don't heal magically in seconds, folks!--much less orgasm from it.

Just sayin', Erika, this part made me wince.

 

[SweetErika]

Just sayin', Erika, this part made me wince.

Don't I know it? I edit those ('cause I'm not brave enough to seek them out on my own) with my legs firmly crossed!

 

[midwestyankee]

And along those lines, mentioning the bra size along with weight. While I suppose anything is possible, I find it difficult to believe that a woman with 38DD breasts weighs only 100 pounds. Unless she's, say, 4'5" tall.

I don't read enough of the stories to have an informed opinion, though.

I once had a girlfriend whose bra size was 32D and she weighed 87 pounds. What so few people understand about bra size is where the number comes from.

Edited to correct my own number, as my memory finally caught up with my fingers.

 

[silverwhisper]

erika:

vulgarity: it's a pretty flexible word, isn't it? :> i guess what i mean is something more quentin tarantino/david mamet/"r" rated than say "PG-13", if that makes any sense. if that doesn't work, the way i describe actual sex in any of my stories might be a better indicator of my meaning (link on profile).

tedious plot: loving wives (the category) who love to expose themselves, get drunk, then "serve"/"service" the guys at poker night. although i did read one where this plot actually leads to some very interesting consequences among the other wives of the poker buddies...but then again, as a largely straight guy, lesbian action always makes me perk right up.

another pet peeve: "porn perfect" characters, where all the women and men resemble porn actors rather than actual people.

ed

 

[midwestyankee]

A few pet peeves of mine:

A story that doesn't actually begin until the twelfth paragraph. Come on, folks, nothing really matters until something happens. We don't really care what music you were listening to while waiting for your precious date to show up horny at your apartment.

A story with no tension or growth. If all you show me is two bodies coming together in congress without either person changing in any way (other than to get wet, ejaculate, climax, or sweat a bunch) then it's not a story. It's a scene that belongs in a longer story.

A story with typos, misspellings, grammar that imitates a non-native speaker or a 12-year old third grader (yes, I know what age most people are when they're in the third grade), or paragraphs that run across multiple pages. Get a grip folks: it's called literate erotica for a reason.

Impossible positions. A subset of this is too much detail. I don't really care if it was the left or right nipple that your hunky hero twisted between his work-stained thumb and forefinger. I lose all interest when my mind's eye finds the woman on the bottom pinning her lover beneath her weight. Sorry, try to picture this stuff yourself before you submit it to an editor or directly to Lit.

Women who talk like stevedores who like to shop at Bloomingdales. Give me a break with the foul language, folks. Sure, some women use "fuck" in their everyday conversation, but not all that often to refer to sex. It's different when they get really turned on, but give them a few licks of the clit before they start screaming in orgasmic blue notes.

Okay, I'd better stop here.

 

[bobsgirl]

I read one the other day, well, tried to. I found it to be very degrading. "I'm going to fuck you like a dog" isn't erotic in the least, IMO.

 

[midwestyankee]

I read one the other day, well, tried to. I found it to be very degrading. "I'm going to fuck you like a dog" isn't erotic in the least, IMO.

I don't know, BG, I've seen some dogs that could really go at it......













for about 12 seconds.

 

[bobsgirl]

I don't know, BG, I've seen some dogs that could really go at it......













for about 12 seconds.

Oh baby oh baby...

That really cranks my engine!

The name of the story included the words, "like a Bitch in Heat." I probably should have known better.

 

[midwestyankee]

Oh baby oh baby...

That really cranks my engine!

The name of the story included the words, "like a Bitch in Heat." I probably should have known better.

"Bitch" is another word that turns on virtually every female reader.

 

[glynndah]

The length of your paragraph has NO correlation with the length of you weinie. I get lost trying to follow those James Joyce-like creations that go on for pages. White spaces can be your friends. Use them.

 

[silverwhisper]

oo yeah! that one bugs the hell out of me, too!

ed

 

[SweetErika]

erika:

vulgarity: it's a pretty flexible word, isn't it? :> i guess what i mean is something more quentin tarantino/david mamet/"r" rated than say "PG-13", if that makes any sense. if that doesn't work, the way i describe actual sex in any of my stories might be a better indicator of my meaning (link on profile).

You had me worried for a minute, there; in my world, "cock/pussy/fuck/slut/etc." are rated "R." Thankfully, I see those are on your safe list.

I don't like gratutious vulgarity, either, but in the right context, just about anything goes as far as wording. Horror and gore are big NO-NOs in my book though.

another pet peeve: "porn perfect" characters, where all the women and men resemble porn actors rather than actual people.

ed

I hate that too! So much so that I've had to purposely make my characters very human, normal bodies and foibles included. I'd rather read about and see average (okay, maybe slightly above/attractive) people over corny-porny characters any day. Judging by some of the discussions around here, it seems like there's a lot of demand for the perfectly imperfect, too.

 

[izabella]

The ubiquitous mirror scene. You know the one, almost all the stories have that mirror where one character walks by and can't help but stop to admire their perfect measurements and washboard abs or firm ass and then the same dreaded phrase comes: not bad for a 30/35/40 year old.

 

[SweetErika]

A few pet peeves of mine:

A story that doesn't actually begin until the twelfth paragraph. Come on, folks, nothing really matters until something happens. We don't really care what music you were listening to while waiting for your precious date to show up horny at your apartment.

That's a good one, and hopefully mine will live up to your expectations on this count. At least it starts with a sex scene.

A story with no tension or growth. If all you show me is two bodies coming together in congress without either person changing in any way (other than to get wet, ejaculate, climax, or sweat a bunch) then it's not a story. It's a scene that belongs in a longer story.

This is something I never would have thought about specifically (though I hate flat, formulaic characters who don't think or feel beyond sex), but what a great point, Yank!

Impossible positions. A subset of this is too much detail. I don't really care if it was the left or right nipple that your hunky hero twisted between his work-stained thumb and forefinger. I lose all interest when my mind's eye finds the woman on the bottom pinning her lover beneath her weight. Sorry, try to picture this stuff yourself before you submit it to an editor or directly to Lit.

I've caught myself using 'right' and 'left' a couple of times now. The problem is, I AM picturing it, and it's natural to use those adjectives when describing so actions/positions don't seem impossible. However, I realized if the reader's seeing them on different sides or something, describing my picture will cause confusion, so I'm better off leaving them out completely when it really doesn't make a difference. I think.

 

[Cathleen]

I once read where the male character's name kept changing. I think it was Will and became Bill. I actually finished it because I wanted to see who finished in the end.

I don't get too annoyed with typos unless there are more than say ten or so. I don't like it but I can look past it.

I have purposely not given physical descriptions of the characters in my story. I might say a hair color but not much more. I picture characters in my own way while reading and want the reader to project themself into the story. I also do not like to perpetuate the myth of perfect bodies.