What are you?

[WriterDom]

Are you familiar with the concept of a scientific poll?

The long version.

The short version: both the sample size and sampling method of the polls here suck.

How many women posting do you see identifing with Domme rather than sub? I can only think of two. Netzach and LadyC. There have been some who came and went. I don't read all the threads so there might be more I don't know about. I could come up with quite a sub list if I wanted to.

 

[00Syd]

How many women posting do you see identifing with Domme rather than sub? I can only think of two. Netzach and LadyC. There have been some who came and went. I don't read all the threads so there might be more I don't know about. I could come up with quite a sub list if I wanted to.

Right, like I just said, its absolutely no surprise to anyone that the vast majority of people on this board are either male doms or female subs, with hardly any variation. But do you honestly think that the population on this message board represents what the bdsm community as a whole actually looks like?

 

[WriterDom]

Right, like I just said, its absolutely no surprise to anyone that the vast majority of people on this board are either male doms or female subs, with hardly any variation. But do you honestly think that the population on this message board represents what the bdsm community as a whole actually looks like?

No, from what I've seen in groups Fem Doms are a lot more common.

 

[subish2009]

So, why do you think there are fewer of them on this board? I'm truly curious; I have no frame of reference. This is as active in the community as I get.

I would think, though, that although the R/L community is probably not as polarized as what we see on this board, I would still think that the MAJORITY of women would self-id as pyls and men as PYLs, don't you think? Or not?

 

[JMohegan]

That makes my point on the other thread. Less than one out of 20 woman are Domme. Cave woman genes.

From the other thread:

I think there is a grain of truth that the majority of women enjoy the submissive role. In my vanilla life I took any sexual favors I wanted and was never told "no." Honestly I can't ever remember a woman not being up for anything I wanted. Going all the way back to high school.

WD, in order to test your theory you would need to take a sizable sample, randomly, from the population as a whole. ALL people. Not just the subset of self-identified kinksters, and not the sub-subset of Lit kinksters here. [Drawing conclusions from the poll here is like drawing conclusions on Americans' sexual orientation after polling patrons at a gay bar.]

Further, you would need to phrase your question in a way that would be universally understandable. "Do you like to control what happens, and when, in the bedroom? Or do you like to relinquish that type of control? Or would your answer to this question depend on your mood?" Something like that.

 

[WriterDom]

From the other thread:




WD, in order to test your theory you would need to take a sizable sample, randomly, from the population as a whole. ALL people. Not just the subset of self-identified kinksters, and not the sub-subset of Lit kinksters here. [Drawing conclusions from the poll here is like drawing conclusions on Americans' sexual orientation after polling patrons at a gay bar.]

Further, you would need to phrase your question in a way that would be universally understandable. "Do you like to control what happens, and when, in the bedroom? Or do you like to relinquish that type of control? Or would your answer to this question depend on your mood?" Something like that.

Those would be interesting questions for just a purely dating forum.

 

[JMohegan]

Those would be interesting questions for just a purely dating forum.

People who hang out on dating forums still constitute a subset of the population.

Your theory about women in general can only be tested by polling women in general. As randomly as possible. That's the point.

 

[WriterDom]

People who hang out on dating forums still constitute a subset of the population.

Your theory about women in general can only be tested by polling women in general. As randomly as possible. That's the point.

Yeah I know. I had three stat classes. The math one I made an A in. The business classes were pretty damn hard.

 

[00Syd]

So, why do you think there are fewer of them on this board? I'm truly curious; I have no frame of reference. This is as active in the community as I get.

I have an answer to this, but I don't know how to frame it.

I will say that this message board was one of my very first community resources, and it really colored my view of how the community looked. I honestly thought that the vast majority of the BDSM community was Mdom/Fsub, and that Fdoms were rare, and mostly a male fantasy/myth. When I finally started to actually go out into the community and attend events and meet people, I was so surprised, and the diversity I discovered was so refreshing and made me feel so, so much more comfortable. I always felt pressured to fit into "the club" here, but now having gone into the wider world, I feel much more comfortable just being myself. I'm still working on shrugging off a lot of the influences and ideas I got here.

I love the conversations we have, and I really like and respect so many people here. I doubt I'll ever stop checking the boards and contributing to interesting threads, but when I come here I know what I'm getting. This board is great, but it is a narrow slice of life.

 

[WriterDom]

My theory is Female Dommes don't need a social network to find subs and the ones they would find here are pretty annoying. Everyday some poor fucker posts a personal over there that has about a zero chance in hell of finding someone. I stopped going to that forum.

 

[00Syd]

My theory is Female Dommes don't need a social network to find subs and the ones they would find here are pretty annoying. Everyday some poor fucker posts a personal over there that has about a zero chance in hell of finding someone. I stopped going to that forum.

But is finding partners the only reason anyone comes to the BDSM board? Of course not. I'm not here for that, and I can think of a whole ton of other people here who aren't looking.

 

[BiBunny]

You have to think, though, in addition to the 3 self-identified female dominants here, we also have 12 self-identified female switches. So that's at least 15 chicks who don't get all nauseated at the thought of tying some dude up.

 

[WriterDom]

You have to think, though, in addition to the 3 self-identified female dominants here, we also have 12 self-identified female switches. So that's at least 15 chicks who don't get all nauseated at the thought of tying some dude up.

Add the males together and it's almost 50/50

 

[BiBunny]

Add the males together and it's almost 50/50

And there's not nearly such a big divide between the sub/switch and dom males as the sub/switch and domme females. So, yeah, our sampling's just off.

 

[Netzach]

You have to think, though, in addition to the 3 self-identified female dominants here, we also have 12 self-identified female switches. So that's at least 15 chicks who don't get all nauseated at the thought of tying some dude up.

IRL groups, I'd say fem switches are pretty much the norm, but it could be my personal hanging out patterns.

 

[Firebrain]

I'm not technically a sub or a dom so I've gone for switch...but sub is probably my favourite. Nom nom.

 

[00Syd]

IRL groups, I'd say fem switches are pretty much the norm, but it could be my personal hanging out patterns.

That's been my experience, too. IRL, I've actually found myself to be the minority in quite a few situations!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

This has been a fascinating poll for me. I would have guessed that male dom would be the top category, followed by female sub. I guess what's fascinating about it to me is the fact that, according to the poll, there are more women on this site than I would have guessed.

This was interesting to me as well. Obviously it's not scientific, and only represents a small self-selected group. But even if you add in the switches, it still comes out to about 2-1 female subs to male Doms.

What do you think this means in the context of this board, if anything? Is it that male Doms are less likely to hang out on a BDSM board, and female subs more likely? Or on this BDSM board? Or answer a poll like this? That kind of m/f divide doesn't seem to exist on the rest of Lit. Hmmmm...

Too bad Monk is ending tonight; he could figure it out.

 

[Aquila1]

*shrugs*

Started off a long time ago as a sub, but always had fairly strong (if latent), fdom tendencies - always have been a bossy cunt at heart.

Happily transitioned as a switch right now - suits me and the person I am with. I have an increasing interest in being in control, so it will be interesting to see where that leads me.

Sometimes (in my case, anyway), I feel that when I am being dominant, I am also undertaking an act of submission. By that, I don't mean that I don't want to be in control - I enjoy it very much, and nor am I 'forced' to. It is more to do with me being acutely aware of the fact that when I lead, it is very much about the other person's responses, pleasure, and well being. I get a huge kick out it, but it is, simultaneously, an act of service. Works for me - that's about as analytical as I get about the whole thing. If it makes me feel happy = good.

 

[subish2009]

This was interesting to me as well. Obviously it's not scientific, and only represents a small self-selected group. But even if you add in the switches, it still comes out to about 2-1 female subs to male Doms.

What do you think this means in the context of this board, if anything? Is it that male Doms are less likely to hang out on a BDSM board, and female subs more likely? Or on this BDSM board? Or answer a poll like this? That kind of m/f divide doesn't seem to exist on the rest of Lit. Hmmmm...

Too bad Monk is ending tonight; he could figure it out.

It's interesting, isn't it? I have two PYLs, both Lit members, and neither of them have any interest in this board at all. I'm wondering if it's an artifact of women being into the whole social networking thing in general. Anyone know if that's true? More women on fb or twitter or anything?

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

I put female sub because I'm submissive in my relationship and lifestyle...

but now I'm thinking I should've put switch because sexually I'm more of a sadist...

oh well

Now that's an interesting combination, Belle. As a switch myself, I'm curious how you came to the realization that you had a sadistic side?

 

[Kajira Callista]

just curious

I'm from another planet. I think earthlings call that being an alien.

 

[insert____here]

It is more to do with me being acutely aware of the fact that when I lead, it is very much about the other person's responses, pleasure, and well being. I get a huge kick out it, but it is, simultaneously, an act of service. Works for me - that's about as analytical as I get about the whole thing. If it makes me feel happy = good.

can relate...am a sub but have no issue at all with "domination as an act of service" (was how someone on this board described it). if that was what was needed, asked for or otherwise indicated, then i have absolutely no problem stepping into the role comfortably. as long as the other is aware that for me it is a role, and not who i really am and they are able to resume control when they want to.

 

[where]

I picked NOTA because I'm not actually sure, though If I had to be labelled I suppose I'm closer to unwilling sub.