What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

[UnquietDreams]

What I mean is that there are people (myself in particular) who think the other way around. Like, we think that we are awful people and don't deserve good things because we made past mistakes, because we have never been shown love, because we feel lonely, because we have had a lot of trauma. Like, while I may be very, very cognizant of a lot of my flaws, I am also not very aware of any good characteristics. That is what I mean when I say that some people think they are the villain.

Ah, I see. I would argue that as well, but I doubt you would agree with me. In the very short time I have known you, I have seen a person reaching out, at times deeply empathically so, to try to encourage people who are at a low point. I don't see a villain, or an awful person. I see someone hurt, who I would love to see heal, and love the positives she brings. I am a romantic, and often a fool, but I believe that everyone is deserving of love and respect, from themselves most of all. I would love to see that in everyone in general, and you in specific.

For whatever that is worth.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Yes … omg.

This is why I need to put my iPad on to fall asleep at night. Otherwise it’s just a movie of my bad decisions

It's one of the reasons I sleep with the lights on every night. One of the reasons I will go into LitChat just to watch it until I fall asleep. One of the reasons I end up falling asleep to ghost videos. PTSD also doesn't help, but you work with what you have.

Also, pimento grilled cheese is grilled cheese but 200 times sexier.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Ah, I see. I would argue that as well, but I doubt you would agree with me. In the very short time I have known you, I have seen a person reaching out, at times deeply empathically so, to try to encourage people who are at a low point. I don't see a villain, or an awful person. I see someone hurt, who I would love to see heal, and love the positives she brings. I am a romantic, and often a fool, but I believe that everyone is deserving of love and respect, from themselves most of all. I would love to see that in everyone in general, and you in specific.

For whatever that is worth.

You're going to make me cry into my bougie grilled cheese.

 

[DeerTrace118]

WTF was he thinking? Rate my hand? Poor guy

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Ah, I see. I would argue that as well, but I doubt you would agree with me. In the very short time I have known you, I have seen a person reaching out, at times deeply empathically so, to try to encourage people who are at a low point. I don't see a villain, or an awful person. I see someone hurt, who I would love to see heal, and love the positives she brings. I am a romantic, and often a fool, but I believe that everyone is deserving of love and respect, from themselves most of all. I would love to see that in everyone in general, and you in specific.

For whatever that is worth.

In all seriousness, though, I did almost cry. I don't imagine myself to have any redeeming qualities, nor am I looking for anyone to list them. I know that, at this point, if that happened, I would not believe anyone. I sincerely appreciate your kind words. You have been nothing but kind to me, even when I have been very cranky toward you. Any distaste or anger I may hint at you, is really directed at myself. Thank you for your thoughtful words.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Really interesting conversation here.
Self awareness and self image and extroverts and introverts.

Not sure what my personal thoughts are.

I think I'm hyper aware of how I may come across. I'm someone who overthinks everything she writes. Who, if she receives a reaction or a reply will go back to the post and check it still comes across how it was intended.

I spend quite a lot of my time alone too with only my internal echo chamber for company. I am working on getting back into the world but it's very daunting. That isolation can make me question and doubt every single thing.

I am unkind to myself which is maybe why I try so hard to bring kindness here as much as I can and I appreciate others that do the same too.

 

[Secretintoelderly]

What helps me in darker periods, is writing down of what I’m proud of that day. Even if I just did the dishes, I’ll write it down. Hereby you remind yourself every day the things you did, and may be positive about. In a while you create a nice list, which feels good too.

For me it helps, but I understand it may be different if your suffering a severe depression.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Or we could go down the Winchester and wait for it to all blow over.

Lmfao god damnit.

 

[Chillygirl]

What helps me in darker periods, is writing down of what I’m proud of that day. Even if I just did the dishes, I’ll write it down. Hereby you remind yourself every day the things you did, and may be positive about. In a while you create a nice list, which feels good too.

For me it helps, but I understand it may be different if your suffering a severe depression.

I like that. I do something similar…I’ll ask what was the best part of your day? Cause even on my shittiest days there was something that made me smile.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Really interesting conversation here.
Self awareness and self image and extroverts and introverts.

Not sure what my personal thoughts are.

I think I'm hyper aware of how I may come across. I'm someone who overthinks everything she writes. Who, if she receives a reaction or a reply will go back to the post and check it still comes across how it was intended.

I spend quite a lot of my time alone too with only my internal echo chamber for company. I am working on getting back into the world but it's very daunting. That isolation can make me question and doubt every single thing.

I am unkind to myself which is maybe why I try so hard to bring kindness here as much as I can and I appreciate others that do the same too.

I feel so very much the same, friend. I offer you all the grilled cheese.

My isolation came from having to move to a new city where I knew very few people. I have a few friends who live here, but no one wanted to just get together and talk, so I stopped asking. One of my friends had helped me out with some things and we would talk, but then he just ghosted me two months ago, so outside of my part time job, I just stay at home. Sadly, the majority of my social interaction is done here. If my circumstances were different, I would go out into the world and convene with the people. But I don't have the means right now and it is not doing a great thing to my own mental health.

I really hope you will be able to get ready for returning to the world. Even if it's what I call "people bathing." Just immersing yourself in a crowd or at a coffee shop, just to be around people. Sometimes that is a therapy all its own.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Or we could go down the Winchester and wait for it to all blow over.

Sarah Winchester? I don't understand.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

What helps me in darker periods, is writing down of what I’m proud of that day. Even if I just did the dishes, I’ll write it down. Hereby you remind yourself every day the things you did, and may be positive about. In a while you create a nice list, which feels good too.

For me it helps, but I understand it may be different if your suffering a severe depression.

I have a guided journal that has prompts for positive things, like affirmations, and a word to set the intention of your day. I tried to use it for a while and I think it helped. I also like making bullet lists for every day and checking off just one or two things feels very good.

 

[crazychemgirl]

I have a guided journal that has prompts for positive things, like affirmations, and a word to set the intention of your day. I tried to use it for a while and I think it helped. I also like making bullet lists for every day and checking off just one or two things feels very good.

I think having my dog and my friends to chat with on the daily go a LONG way towards my happiness.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I feel so very much the same, friend. I offer you all the grilled cheese.

I'll share it with you

My isolation came from having to move to a new city where I knew very few people. I have a few friends who live here, but no one wanted to just get together and talk, so I stopped asking. One of my friends had helped me out with some things and we would talk, but then he just ghosted me two months ago, so outside of my part time job, I just stay at home. Sadly, the majority of my social interaction is done here. If my circumstances were different, I would go out into the world and convene with the people. But I don't have the means right now and it is not doing a great thing to my own mental health.

I'm so sorry.
I do my socialising here too. I'm a stay at home parent so I feel I'm not being completely truthful saying I'm alone most of the time but I'm not getting the conversation and companionship that I need.
A nice melting pot of various mental health issues has made it easy for me to hide away but I feel like if I don't try to fix that now then I never will.

I really hope you will be able to get ready for returning to the world. Even if it's what I call "people bathing." Just immersing yourself in a crowd or at a coffee shop, just to be around people. Sometimes that is a therapy all its own.

That's a really good idea. I get overwhelmed easily but I could start small and see how I go.

Thank you for being so understanding

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

I think having my dog and my friends to chat with on the daily go a LONG way towards my happiness.

I really wish I could have a dog. I miss having a dog to take care of and be friends with. I just withdraw a lot, especially over the past months, because they've been rough. So even my friends who live on social media and such, I kind of stopped talking to them, because I am just sure that they don't want to hear about my hard knock life anymore. So when I am struggling the hardest, I try not to talk to anyone. Or I come here and try very hard to pretend I am OK.

Man, this got emo really fast. Apologies. I am glad that you have a dog. They are very helpful friends and always cheer you up.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Sarah Winchester? I don't understand.

It's from Shaun Of The Dead

 

[DeerTrace118]

I really wish I could have a dog. I miss having a dog to take care of and be friends with. I just withdraw a lot, especially over the past months, because they've been rough. So even my friends who live on social media and such, I kind of stopped talking to them, because I am just sure that they don't want to hear about my hard knock life anymore. So when I am struggling the hardest, I try not to talk to anyone. Or I come here and try very hard to pretend I am OK.

Man, this got emo really fast. Apologies. I am glad that you have a dog. They are very helpful friends and always cheer you up.

I just want to give you a big ol hug right now.

 

[lavendersilk]

Really interesting conversation here.
Self awareness and self image and extroverts and introverts.

Not sure what my personal thoughts are.

I think I'm hyper aware of how I may come across. I'm someone who overthinks everything she writes. Who, if she receives a reaction or a reply will go back to the post and check it still comes across how it was intended.

I spend quite a lot of my time alone too with only my internal echo chamber for company. I am working on getting back into the world but it's very daunting. That isolation can make me question and doubt every single thing.

I am unkind to myself which is maybe why I try so hard to bring kindness here as much as I can and I appreciate others that do the same too.

I always smile when I see a post from you.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

I'll share it with you

I'm so sorry.
I do my socialising here too. I'm a stay at home parent so I feel I'm not being completely truthful saying I'm alone most of the time but I'm not getting the conversation and companionship that I need.
A nice melting pot of various mental health issues has made it easy for me to hide away but I feel like if I don't try to fix that now then I never will.

That's a really good idea. I get overwhelmed easily but I could start small and see how I go.

Thank you for being so understanding

I don't have that experience. I've never been a parent. But I could see how there could be a certain form of isolation to it. I mean, one loves one's children, but you can't make them your friends. You can't make them your confidants.

And you've got this. I also have found that walking in parks or (for me, especially) cemeteries (during the day) has been very helpful. Being outside with nature and not cooped up in the same four walls every day is helpful. And as a bonus, if you're in a cemetery, the people there won't complain or be annoying.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I always smile when I see a post from you.

Yay
You are a force for positivity here too and I think it's wonderful

 

[Wand3rlust]

I think having my dog and my friends to chat with on the daily go a LONG way towards my happiness.

Aw. You guys.

(Did I do that right?)

 

[Secretintoelderly]

I have a guided journal that has prompts for positive things, like affirmations, and a word to set the intention of your day. I tried to use it for a while and I think it helped. I also like making bullet lists for every day and checking off just one or two things feels very good.

Happy to read that you are doing these things also! I think it’s fun, and sometimes I laugh quite loud if I write down that I made a walk. “Is it that special to write it down”

 

[crazychemgirl]

I always smile when I see a post from you.

Same.

 

[Secretintoelderly]

I like that. I do something similar…I’ll ask what was the best part of your day? Cause even on my shittiest days there was something that made me smile.

Yes, that’s the whole purpose of it. Finding a blink of positivity

 

[Secretintoelderly]

Aw. You guys.

(Did I do that right?)

You’re in a learning curve