What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

I am not sure that I haven't been replaced by a small and yet buggy script, myself.

What does that have to do with being self aware?

 

[UnquietDreams]

What does that have to do with being self aware?

If awareness is defined by the classic "I think; therefore I am (though I am too self-aware to write that in Latin)," and a script only looks like it is actually thinking, therefore not self-aware at all.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I'm thinking I wish I could react to reactions.

You can. I do it all the time. People get their knickers all knotted over self replies but whatevs. It’s their knickers.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Are most people very not self aware? Am I very self aware? What is the average self awareness for a person? Like, what the heck?

I think we can all be a bit clueless at times. Real friends will call us out on it when needed and keep being there when it’s all said and done.

 

[Mrtenant]

Does anyone else use the “What’s New” and “your feed” space to see what’s going on and where the people you follow (AKA your friends) are posting and what’s going on?

Yes

If you are using mobile, you can tap your av at the top of the page for stuff. I use it some. Helps me keep up with my homies

 

[crazychemgirl]

On a scale of 1-10, average person is a 3, some are much lower, I’m like a 2.5

I’m an 11 … just sayin.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

If awareness is defined by the classic "I think; therefore I am (though I am too self-aware to write that in Latin)," and a script only looks like it is actually thinking, therefore not self-aware at all.

I mean, that was not the type I meant and I think you knew that. I specifically was referring to the ability to know oneself to the extent of knowing where one has flaws and decent qualities and how that can affect others. But sure.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

I think we can all be a bit clueless at times. Real friends will call us out on it when needed and keep being there when it’s all said and done.

I mean, yeah. I was just kind of wondering what the baseline of being reflective and conscious of how you affect or hurt other people is for most people. No one is perfect, of course. I'm just curious where most people are in terms of that. It was literally just something I was thinking about...

Edited to add that it wasn't a snipe at anyone at all. It's just something I've been pondering off and on for years.

 

[Shady_nz]

Does anyone else use the “What’s New” and “your feed” space to see what’s going on and where the people you follow (AKA your friends) are posting and what’s going on?

Yes I do. Usually when I'm bored with my usual threads and need some new drama,,entertainment, inspiration for meaningful conversation..
Edit: oops, forgot the eye roll emoji

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I can’t stop thinking about a social media post I saw this morning from a doctor who said she sees so many men survive illnesses that so many women don’t, because the men have women who will help care for them, when women are not given the same support. It reminded me of a study a while back about women being 6x more likely to have their male partner leave them when they’re sick. Also, how that has happened to me, twice.

 

[Mrtenant]

On a scale of 1-10, average person is a 3, some are much lower, I’m like a 2.5

Where does the 3 average come from? That presumes a majority of people are absolutely clueless.

I can see that.

I'm a 10, and that's just in looks. Clearly it's also in self awareness.

Next.

 

[Photog1rl]

Where does the 3 average come from? That presumes a majority of people are absolutely clueless.

I can see that.

I'm a 10, and that's just in looks. Clearly it's also in self awareness.

Next.

Humble and self aware. you must have a lot of mirrors to do so much reflection.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

I can’t stop thinking about a social media post I saw this morning from a doctor who said she sees so many men survive illnesses that so many women don’t, because the men have women who will help care for them, when women are not given the same support. It reminded me of a study a while back about women being 6x more likely to have their male partner leave them when they’re sick. Also, how that has happened to me, twice.

Oh my dear, I am so sorry about that. Women are expected to be mothers as well as spouses, to their spouses. Like, we should not have to do double duty. There are a lot of very weird medical double standards related especially to gender. That gives me the sads too.

 

[crazychemgirl]

I mean, yeah. I was just kind of wondering what the baseline of being reflective and conscious of how you affect or hurt other people is for most people. No one is perfect, of course. I'm just curious where most people are in terms of that. It was literally just something I was thinking about...

Edited to add that it wasn't a snipe at anyone at all. It's just something I've been pondering off and on for years.

In that case I’m a zero.


I never intend to hurt … ever. But I’ve definitely said things that have hurt people before … and I had to have others point it out … I’m grateful for friends who understand what I say never comes from a place of ill intent or mean spirit.


I should probably be more cognizant of how I speak towards people who aren’t familiar with how I use my words … I think that’s what has been the reason for some of my misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

 

[Photog1rl]

I can’t stop thinking about a social media post I saw this morning from a doctor who said she sees so many men survive illnesses that so many women don’t, because the men have women who will help care for them, when women are not given the same support. It reminded me of a study a while back about women being 6x more likely to have their male partner leave them when they’re sick. Also, how that has happened to me, twice.

And women are not normally used in medical studies because it is too difficult to control for hormones…umm ok. So we use meds and practices not designed or tested on women. Nice.

 

[Mrtenant]

Humble and self aware. you must have a lot of mirrors to do so much reflection.

When my good friends offer such reflections, how can it not be so? Thank you my friend.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

In that case I’m a zero.


I never intend to hurt … ever. But I’ve definitely said things that have hurt people before … and I had to have others point it out … I’m grateful for friends who understand what I say never comes from a place of ill intent or mean spirit.


I should probably be more cognizant of how I speak towards people who aren’t familiar with how I use my words … I think that’s what has been the reason for some of my misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Then isn't that a bit of self awareness? Like, you learn from mistakes. That does require self awareness. If you weren't self aware, you wouldn't accept constructive criticism.

I also hurt people and don't understand how I do, sometimes. I think there is maybe a spectrum for different areas.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

OP live your life and leave me alone. I do not respect you as a person, and you do not respect me. I posted vaguely to try and avoid calling anything out directly but maybe this will finally stop things.
I find you toxic and deceitful-your lies of omission, which so many defined as lies in this very thread, started at the beginning of our “friendship”. You have claimed it was so hard for you to not be honest but you were never were and neither was Bry, the person that was supposed to be my closest friend.
I had opened up to both of you, about so many things, even comforting you when you were upset that Bry had not told you we had been together and telling you to not be upset with him that he was still your friend and just being a ding dong. You let me do while the two of you were together having already lied once and then lying again when asked if there was anything going on between the two of you. So please do not try to claim you do not know why I was upset.

Were my emotions too big. Yes, because what I had lost was not real. I had believed that my friends were honest with me and I was shown to be wrong. It sucked. Did I blame you more than I blamed Bry? Initially, yes but I also knew he would not have told me if it wasn’t for you. But it was easier to blame you more and it allowed me to try to find a way to still be his friend.

Did I use my words in my poetry thread to sort through things? Yes, I did. Was there anger and sadness? Yes, there was. Did you and Bry come into that space and mock me, yes you did. More than once. I have reacted to you and I have instigated things but it is not one sided and the one thing I have not done is come to fight anyone else’s battles or try to pile things on like you three do. It has happened over and over.

Honestly, I don’t think about any of you except when you make it too hard to avoid you. Then yes, it comes up for me and sometimes I react or engage. You like to say I am a gaslighter and toxic but that is the pot calling the kettle black.

I skipped you in your thread. That is my most recent crime. Was it petty? It was but I also had nothing to say to you and was surprised at what the poster above you had said. I’m not excusing it, I should not have commented and I’m sorry I did it. Usually, I do my best to avoid all of you and it has meant I’ve distanced from folks I like. But I don’t pretend to have you on fake ignore and write about it all over lit. Usually i just don’t engage.

I’m not sure what threads I have “no right” reacting in or what your friends see when they have decided I am fake ignoring you. I have friends that go in lots of threads and while I avoided some threads initially it seems that it has been long enough were we that really shouldn’t be necessary.

Please stop thinking everything is about you. It’s not. I’m not trying to shade you but that does not mean I need to put up with the incessant bullying behavior of you, CCG and Bry. It is old and unnesessary.
We don’t like each other and that is fine. This is a big playground there is no reason for us to interact.

And to everyone that has been forced to see this crap unfold hopefully now that it is out in the open it can end. If I’m tired of it I can only imagine how you all feel.

I didn't make one dig at you in my post. I just asked that we ignore each other and be aware of what we are posting so not seem like we are making digs. I even said sorry for whatever perceived slights you believed happened.

You were not in a relationship with Bry and I cannot agree that we owed you our privacy. No one has an obligation tell friends or acquaintances who they are interested in romantically and who they are having sex with, online or offline. The only people we owed/ owe anything to is our spouses or whoever else we are having sexual relationships with. You were neither of those things. But I was still sorry you felt hurt. I still am sorry you have the feelings you did/ do. It's been a year already. CCG was our best friend and she was upset for maybe a day that we didn't tell her. That seems like a more normal reaction to me.

We never troll first. It just gets old when you keep reading about how horrible you are. And just in case you are really serious and don't understand, it is best to not to follow friends into threads with Brys name on it if you hate him and me. I have never followed a friend into your threads other than after you have trolled us.

I would LOVE to ignore you forever. Please don't make it so hard for me.

 

[Photog1rl]

When my good friends offer such reflections, how can it not be so? Thank you my friend.

I will hold a mirror or a whiskey and toast to a good person and friend.

 

[MindYaBitness]

I can’t stop thinking about a social media post I saw this morning from a doctor who said she sees so many men survive illnesses that so many women don’t, because the men have women who will help care for them, when women are not given the same support. It reminded me of a study a while back about women being 6x more likely to have their male partner leave them when they’re sick. Also, how that has happened to me, twice.

Yes, completely agree. My spouse has been through two types of unrelated cancer, and a myriad of other medical issues. The people most impressed with the longevity of our marriage through it all, are always men.

My spouse is, in general, a very good person, but when it comes to me he's a bit negligent. After my surgery last month I opted to go to a skilled nursing facility for 7 days rather than have him care for me, because the mental load of having to direct him, remind him, ask for help, was just too much. The argument is made that men just aren't as nurturing. I call bullshit. There are wonderful, caring, nurturing men out there. We just need to do a better job as a society and as parents, to encourage & celebrate those qualities in men.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

If awareness is defined by the classic "I think; therefore I am (though I am too self-aware to write that in Latin)," and a script only looks like it is actually thinking, therefore not self-aware at all.

To reply to myself replying to Unquiet, I want to add, in a less grumpy way, that what I am thinking of is more in terms of Socrates's "Know thyself" than in Descartes's "Je pense donc je suis" (the original language of the Cogito, by the way).

 

[crazychemgirl]

. We just need to do a better job as a society and as parents, to encourage & celebrate those qualities in men.

Here here

 

[UnquietDreams]

I mean, yeah. I was just kind of wondering what the baseline of being reflective and conscious of how you affect or hurt other people is for most people. No one is perfect, of course. I'm just curious where most people are in terms of that. It was literally just something I was thinking about...

Edited to add that it wasn't a snipe at anyone at all. It's just something I've been pondering off and on for years.

Well, it is always going to be completely subjective. I am pretty sure the most callous jerk thinks they are empathetic and everyone else is too sensitive, if they think of others at all. But they think they are being reflective and conscious enough. So any scale, if it is to be useful, would be how you think you are doing at that moment. Everyone is the hero of their own story, so where I can look at someone's post and think "how could that asshole do that?" they believe they are justified with their actions.

I am not going to speak for you in your musings, but I think the point that you become aware enough to take accountability for what you do is the beginnings of what you call "self-aware." (I prefer Camus' "conscious," but that is more comfortable terminology than a difference.)

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Yes, completely agree. My spouse has been through two types of unrelated cancer, and a myriad of other medical issues. The people most impressed with the longevity of our marriage through it all, are always men.

My spouse is, in general, a vety good person, but when it comes to he's a bit negligent. After my surgery last month I opted to go to a skilled nursing facility for 7 days rather than have him care for me, because the mental load of having to direct him, remind him, ask for help, was just too much. The argument is made that men just aren't as nurturing. I call bullshit. There are wonderful, caring, nursing men out there. We just need to do a better job as a society and as parents, to encourage & celebrate those qualities in men.

Agreed. Like, we give them a society that says they should be negligent. And if they are nurturing, they are in some way wrong.

 

[Mrtenant]

In that case I’m a zero.


I never intend to hurt … ever. But I’ve definitely said things that have hurt people before … and I had to have others point it out … I’m grateful for friends who understand what I say never comes from a place of ill intent or mean spirit.


I should probably be more cognizant of how I speak towards people who aren’t familiar with how I use my words … I think that’s what has been the reason for some of my misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

CCG, my friend, we have all made such mistakes.

I dislike the trendy group ones the most. How can people just jump on the bandwagon of disrespecting someone they don't even know. Happens a lot. Happens here on Lit all too often.

I have learned, that one must make these mistakes to learn true self awareness. And, your true friends, will call you/me out on it when warranted even as I would call them out as well.

Doesn't make us not friends. We just deserve better from each other.