What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

[drobert44]

Hope I make it to Bordeaux tomorrow

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Girl, take your half-loopy ass to bed!

 

[37_ttej]

My Lit break is done. Time to cook dinner.

 

[Shady_nz]

Being used and lied to makes it very hard to imagine trusting someone again.

It really, really does.
It won't be easy, and it will take time,but you will get there. Take this from someone who knows...

 

[Shady_nz]

14 years ago my life changed. I will never stop missing my mum.

 

[Deleted member 6808749]

The sun is shining.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

I feel like a Debbie Downer most days, but I am here to listen if anyone is feeling shitty about their day. I wish the best things for you all.

 

[drobert44]

Hope I make it to Bordeaux tomorrow

So fun; training in Europe

 

[Amanda330]

I'm thinking about Lit friendships and trust. Should how I define a friend from Lit versus a friend in person be different?

No. I think the standards of friendship apply and are the same no matter where you've met your friends. Loyalty, honesty, trust, kindness, compassion... Those are all qualities I want to bring to any relationship I have with anyone. No matter where I've met them. I have real relationships with real feelings with many people I've met here.

Do lies of omission differ from outright lying.

No. Not if you know what you are doing will hurt someone. A lie is a lie is a lie. But also, what is the intent? What is the motivation?

Should I be holding folks to the same level of accountability online as I do in person?

Of course. It doesn't matter where you are, if you are in person or online, we should treat each other with respect. I don't think we all have to like each other but I think so much pain could be avoided if you are kind.

Does being on Lit as a married person already say all that is needed about someone's trustworthiness?

No, not to me. People are here for different reasons. There are things going on in people's lives most know nothing about. And you're on a sex site. Are you going to judge someone for being here because they are married? Where do you draw the line then? I think it's best to take people individually and understand their motivation. Make your decision after getting to know them. Obviously, some people take longer to get to know than others - some people have some tall walls up to protect themselves from the judgement of others here, too.

At what point should we expect honesty and how do we know if someone is being honest?

I think we should always expect honesty but I don't think we ever really know if we have it. You just trust the people you love or you'll always be suspicious. I think lit makes relationships difficult at times because you don't meet in person and you never really know the truth about anything... Every relationship takes a certain level of vulnerability and trust - and we never really know. But that's part of the beauty of relationships. We make ourselves vulnerable to pain because that's the cost of a relationship - any relationship really. When you care about someone you give them the means with which to hurt you. And hopefully they never will.

 

[orangecurious]

Yes, that really is a great train journey!

Shame about the coffee

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

14 years ago my life changed. I will never stop missing my mum.

Hugs and love!

 

[RosewoodTulip]

14 years ago my life changed. I will never stop missing my mum.

Oh of course not
She'd be proud of what a wonderful person you are I bet.
Sending love to you

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

No. I think the standards of friendship apply and are the same no matter where you've met your friends. Loyalty, honesty, trust, kindness, compassion... Those are all qualities I want to bring to any relationship I have with anyone. No matter where I've met them. I have real relationships with real feelings with many people I've met here.

No. Not if you know what you are doing will hurt someone. A lie is a lie is a lie. But also, what is the intent? What is the motivation?

Of course. It doesn't matter where you are, if you are in person or online, we should treat each other with respect. I don't think we all have to like each other but I think so much pain could be avoided if you are kind.

No, not to me. People are here for different reasons. There are things going on in people's lives most know nothing about. And you're on a sex site. Are you going to judge someone for being here because they are married? Where do you draw the line then? I think it's best to take people individually and understand their motivation. Make your decision after getting to know them. Obviously, some people take longer to get to know than others - some people have some tall walls up to protect themselves from the judgement of others here, too.

I think we should always expect honesty but I don't think we ever really know if we have it. You just trust the people you love or you'll always be suspicious. I think lit makes relationships difficult at times because you don't meet in person and you never really know the truth about anything... Every relationship takes a certain level of vulnerability and trust - and we never really know. But that's part of the beauty of relationships. We make ourselves vulnerable to pain because that's the cost of a relationship - any relationship really. When you care about someone you give them the means with which to hurt you. And hopefully they never will.

Have I mentioned before that I love you?

 

[UWERETHINKINGIT]

I think an alien laid an egg in my sinuses that’s now hatched and is growing tentacles reaching out into my eyeballs, nasal passages and the deep recesses of my brain.

 

[AmberLGreen]

I'm thinking about Lit friendships and trust. Should how I define a friend from Lit versus a friend in person be different? Do lies of omission differ from outright lying. Should I be holding folks to the same level of accountability online as I do in person? Does being on Lit as a married person already say all that is needed about someone's trustworthiness? At what point should we expect honesty and how do we know if someone is being honest?

Just regular post lunch thoughts
Oh and this post is edited to add the following-if you are one of the three that will think I'm talking about you-you’re wrong so your trolling will be in vain. also-these are not sad musings. It is just what is rattling in my brain.

Can I get back to you when I find a friend?

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Should how I define a friend from Lit versus a friend in person be different?

Define? No…I think there are certain practicalities that need to be acknowledged and alter the expectations of friendship. Like I won’t be mad if an online friend doesn’t show up at the hospital in the same way I would be if a meatspace friend didn’t. But the basic expectations of honesty and trust and openness are the same.

Do lies of omission differ from outright lying.

Nope. Intention is key. Not telling someone something because it simply didn’t occur to you that they should know is one thing. Not telling them simply because you don’t want to deal with the repercussions of telling them is still deceitful. No one’s perfect and I won’t cast stones in my glass house, but every choice to be deceitful, is a new choice and not justified or excused by prior ones. You can’t be upset or surprised if someone holds you accountable for deceitful actions

Should I be holding folks to the same level of accountability online as I do in person?

Yes. The medium doesn’t change the message.

Does being on Lit as a married person already say all that is needed about someone's trustworthiness?

It’s not awesome. But also no single choices ever say everything there is to say about a person. Life is complicated and personally I’m more interested in patterns of behavior.

At what point should we expect honesty and how do we know if someone is being honest?

I always expect it. And I never truly know. I just trust. Based on whatever patterns I’ve observed. I won’t judge a scorpion for being a scorpion but I also won’t be the frog giving a scorpion a ride ya know.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Define? No…I think there are certain practicalities that need to be acknowledged and alter the expectations of friendship. Like I won’t be mad if an online friend doesn’t show up at the hospital in the same way I would be if a meatspace friend didn’t. But the basic expectations of honesty and trust and openness are the same.

Nope. Intention is key. Not telling someone something because it simply didn’t occur to you that they should know is one thing. Not telling them simply because you don’t want to deal with the repercussions of telling them is still deceitful. No one’s perfect and I won’t cast stones in my glass house, but every choice to be deceitful, is a new choice and not justified or excused by prior ones. You can’t be upset or surprised if someone holds you accountable for deceitful actions

Yes. The medium doesn’t change the message.

It’s not awesome. But also no single choices ever say everything there is to say about a person. Life is complicated and personally I’m more interested in patterns of behavior.

I always expect it. And I never truly know. I just trust. Based on whatever patterns I’ve observed. I won’t judge a scorpion for being a scorpion but I also won’t be the frog giving a scorpion a ride ya know.

Are the scorpion and the frog your friends? Is that on Lit or in your “meatspace”?

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Are the scorpion and the frog your friends? Is that on Lit or in your “meatspace”?

Yes. We had a traveling show once. But it wasn’t very successful. We tried to add a gecko and a platypus, but they weren’t really feeling it.

 

[jason28053]

I'm thinking about Lit friendships and trust. Should how I define a friend from Lit versus a friend in person be different? Do lies of omission differ from outright lying. Should I be holding folks to the same level of accountability online as I do in person? Does being on Lit as a married person already say all that is needed about someone's trustworthiness? At what point should we expect honesty and how do we know if someone is being honest?

Just regular post lunch thoughts
Oh and this post is edited to add the following-if you are one of the three that will think I'm talking about you-you’re wrong so your trolling will be in vain. also-these are not sad musings. It is just what is rattling in my brain.

This answer maybe more about being open but..

I think people here can be more open than they are in real life because they are anonymous for the most part. I don't judge why people are here and I think we should all be held to some level of accountability, but it depends on why someone is here I guess. In many ways, I think lit is more open than in real life, because we can say things here that we wouldn't ordinarily for fear of being judged. For lack of a better term, it can be like therapy. Lies are lies but I read what Amanda said and I agree that it depends on the reason. Does everyone need to know everything or is it okay to omit things? When you will hurt someone needlessly, then omission is a good thing.

 

[jason28053]

I am thinking of this.. lyrics to
I Am a Rock
Song by
Paul Simon

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock I am an island

I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock I am an island

Don't talk of love
Well I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock I am an island

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries

It's better to not be a ROCK

 

[Kraken_96]

I really, personally, should do more work instead of scouring these message boards and stories.

Working at home with a high libido was not a good idea

 

[AmberLGreen]

Yes. We had a traveling show once. But it wasn’t very successful. We tried to add a gecko and a platypus, but they weren’t really feeling it.

Did you have a Ringmaster? Was he cracking his whip in your meatspace?

 

[Shady_nz]

My instincts/inner guides are yelling at me to run from a situation ( have been for days) ... thinking I'm ready to listen
Edit: Just realised that's probably why I've been unwell...

 

[crazychemgirl]

It’s me.. Hi … I’m the problem it’s me.

 

[Deleted member 6808749]

Really good to reconnect, even if there was a bit of I told you so.