I have mine hidden all about the house in case of.. "emergency." If I ever die and they go to clear out my things, they're going to be in for a big surprise.Haha oh no I hid my vibrator downstairs in the laundry hamper and I forgot it
Emergency is HILARIOUS..... I get it for sure but also well worded.
You mean you wouldn't want them to share the content of your phone at your funeral? I'm sure there's some pretty heartwarming stuff on thereGonna need a phone that self destructs the moment this heart stops beating
Me whenever someone looks at me with disbelief after they’ve been epically pranked by me: “remember, you only prank the ones you love!”
Some people have trusted friends: “if I die, clear my browser history!”
You can set Telegram to auto delete all history after a certain amount of time. Just saying...Gonna need a phone that self destructs the moment this heart stops beating
Noooo... but I have sneezed so hard my back went out.
You can count on me!! I’ll be dance heisting in and out while stopping in the kitchen for stash number 24 and make an epic sandwich …
Distract with your dancing skills while swiping my toys and recipes?! Ingenious!
...If only the messages I got were scandalous enough to warrant such precautions
.... ya want some? 
I mean, if you want scandalous....If only the messages I got were scandalous enough to warrant such precautions
...
Did you really have to close your eyes?I always thought a small group chat might be fun, until it was too fun
I'm sure that's a story we all want to hear. The real question is can you tell it.I always thought a small group chat might be fun, until it was too fun
Maybe she left the blindfold at home
So the priest gets to hear all the juicy details of all your nastiest stories, and we get left with nothin'. What did the priest do to earn that pleasure?Sunday’s supposed to be a holy day, isn’t it? If I spilled all of my secrets here, what would be left for the confessional?
Naaaah.... okay, maybe block out like two hours for hands in pants play then work the rest.I should really do something that doesn't involve molesting myself today
How does one schedule horniness, isn't it there all the time, like an intrusive thought until you get time to take care of it. Was that an over share?
