What Are You Nosey About Today?? 🦝

[StacyLeigh]

I cut them out of my life but I understand that isn’t always possible with close family.

^ This but sometimes the toxicity is really a need for help or support - in which case, healthy boundaries so I can be supportive but not sucked into the crazy.

 

[Chillygirl]

What my life is missing is intimacy and playing with multiple people does not lend itself well to that. I’m honest with people about that. I flirt with lots of people on the boards, but I prefer to invest my time in one person. I think micky is right, it all comes down to trust (and honesty).

This. I’m a flirt, I’m fairly social. It was pointed out recently that I talk to A LOT of guys. I do. We flirt, talk about life and vent to each other. I’m not e-boning all of them or playing. There’s a lot of overlap but I don’t get hurt because again just friends. I tend to be secretive if there’s someone I “have something with.” But I can see those Sassy, Fara, Bob situations and that sucks. I have quit talking to guys because I don’t want to hurt/upset my friend and I know my friend has done that for me too. Honestly I hate that.

So how do guys feel about being in that situation where they are one of many? Do they care? Does it make life easier?

 

[Ratchetman1982]

This. I’m a flirt, I’m fairly social. It was pointed out recently that I talk to A LOT of guys. I do. We flirt, talk about life and vent to each other. I’m not e-boning all of them or playing. There’s a lot of overlap but I don’t get hurt because again just friends. I tend to be secretive if there’s someone I “have something with.” But I can see those Sassy, Fara, Bob situations and that sucks. I have quit talking to guys because I don’t want to hurt/upset my friend and I know my friend has done that for me too. Honestly I hate that.

So how do guys feel about being in that situation where they are one of many? Do they care? Does it make life easier?

I think at the end of the day, everyone wants to feel special. I feel that if you can accept that you may not be the only one, you are special during your interactions with someone. That doesn't mean you are going get married and have a torrid love affair. It simply means that someone is taking the time in their day to talk to you and make you feel special, even if it's just for a little bit

 

[Cogan]

This. I’m a flirt, I’m fairly social. It was pointed out recently that I talk to A LOT of guys. I do. We flirt, talk about life and vent to each other. I’m not e-boning all of them or playing. There’s a lot of overlap but I don’t get hurt because again just friends. I tend to be secretive if there’s someone I “have something with.” But I can see those Sassy, Fara, Bob situations and that sucks. I have quit talking to guys because I don’t want to hurt/upset my friend and I know my friend has done that for me too. Honestly I hate that.

So how do guys feel about being in that situation where they are one of many? Do they care? Does it make life easier?

I'm not running around here "chasing skirts". I'm here for erotic reading, looking at pics, fun and sexy talk, and sometimes that leads to more. But I never think that I'm the only one. I assumes that I be one of many. (Hopefully not while we talk....) And for me that's cool. Go ahead and have fun. I'm happy for you.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Beautifully and perfectly worded!!!

Spazibo!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I think the most important thing is everyone does things their own way. No one person speaks for everyone. Find what makes you happy and feel validated. Just be honest, respectful, and open.

Just because someone does Lit in a different way that doesn't mean either of you are wrong. Trying to define e-boning or play or a lot relationship just isn't going to look the same for anyone. Ever.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I am nosey about the definition of the term “playing”.

There was lots of discussion on the term “e-boning” and how that was defined but what is the definition of “playing”. Is this flirting, heavy flirting, having discussions of a sexual nature but not in a “you and me doing this” kind of way, or is it the same as e-boning?

Using the Fara, Sassy and Bob example, if Bob makes flirty comments to me, is that unfair on Fara and Sassy? If I have a conversation with Bob and that involves talking about what we like and don’t like sexually, am I breaking “girl code”?

No. E boning. is what I meant.

I am not going to quote one particular person as there are so many comments on the subject of who is “playing” with more than one person but I do see that it is (mostly) the ladies discussing this.

I am nosey as to what the guys think as I am pretty certain that there are instances when the position is reversed.

But technically I was trying to get into the Overlap. Not people playing with multiple people, though that is a whole extra discussion.

I'll just leave that as the topic of. Honestly. If Bob is E boning Sassy and Fara, and they both know. All is good.
If Bob is E boning Sassy, and telling Sassy that she is the only one, but finds out from Fara that she is not. Then it gets messy.

That is overlap with one of her closest friends, and lies.

The overlap part was what I'm most curious about. I know there is a lot of overlap and sometimes it is funny. But I truly hate overlap that involves my closest friends.

 

[Silk_Princess]

I'm nosey about how people handle toxic relationships. Not just online, but offline. Any strategies? Even if family?

As others have mentioned, boundaries. They can be internal boundaries for yourself, or ones you decide to communicate explicitly to the other person, but it has helped me to already have them clearly established in advance of any new interaction, so I don't get carried away or weak in an emotion-triggering moment. E.g., I will not talk to this person on the phone, only via email. Or vice versa. I will limit my responses to this person to one a week. I will always wait a day before responding. I will not agree to do x for this person. I will only do y for this person if the following conditions are met. Etc. Exactly where you set the boundaries can vary according to your need to remain in contact with someone, and it's also okay to periodically re-evaluate and move them as you deem appropriate.

I've sometimes sometimes employed something I learned in a self-defense class that is called the "broken record technique." Settle on a phrase that best summarizes your feelings or deflects further engagement, and then just keep repeating it, same wording every time. Don't try to elaborate or rephrase, just keep saying the same words. E.g. "Dad, as I've told you before, I'm not going to get involved in arguments between you and Mom." "I'm sorry, I've thought it over but I can't make room for that in my schedule." "I'm not going to re-visit this with you again." Etc.

Good luck!

 

[Stillrandy]

I've sometimes sometimes employed something I learned in a self-defense class that is called the "broken record technique." Settle on a phrase that best summarizes your feelings or deflects further engagement, and then just keep repeating it, same wording every time. Don't try to elaborate or rephrase, just keep saying the same words. E.g. "Dad, as I've told you before, I'm not going to get involved in arguments between you and Mom." "I'm sorry, I've thought it over but I can't make room for that in my schedule." "I'm not going to re-visit this with you again." Etc.
Good luck!

I like this ^^ thought very much. I recently had a situation with someone who wanted me to reveal things from my past that I was uncomfortable doing so. My answer phrase was: "I am not having that conversation." And I think I said that over and over. The other person did not give up entirely, but it diminished to a dull roar...
Thanks!

 

[Silk_Princess]

I like this ^^ thought very much. I recently had a situation with someone who wanted me to reveal things from my past that I was uncomfortable doing so. My answer phrase was: "I am not having that conversation." And I think I said that over and over. The other person did not give up entirely, but it diminished to a dull roar...
Thanks!

In the the self-defense context (more specifically, dealing with verbal harassment in public places), the theory of this technique is similar to "don't engage the trolls" on the internet, -- i.e., by denying the harasser the type of active and emotional engagement they are craving, they just hit the hard wall of your repeated statement and eventually desist. Your comment reminds me that in adapting this technique to other situations, its most important impact is not necessarily on the other person but on me; a bit like repeating a mantra, it keeps me strong and resolved in my response. Good to know others find it useful.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I'm nosey about what the most vulgar opening line you got in your PM

 

[AmberLGreen]

I'm nosey about what the most vulgar opening line you got in your PM

I think I have posted about this before but it was a PM that I received when I first joined lit. Somebody asked me if I wanted to watch them masturbate until they came so hard it would knock down walls

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I'm nosey about what the most vulgar opening line you got in your PM

You’re the biggest dick on Lit , I like your style. …got one of those

I thought it was clever , but a tad vulgar , in the good vulgar way tho.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I think I have posted about this before but it was a PM that I received when I first joined lit. Somebody asked me if I wanted to watch them masturbate until they came so hard it would knock down walls

That's pretty impressive. I normally do that to knock out dents on cars

 

[Ratchetman1982]

You’re the biggest dick on Lit , I like your style. …got one of those

I thought it was clever , but a tad vulgar , in the good vulgar way tho.

That's a pretty good opening line

 

[Fingerfuxs]

That's a pretty good opening line

I told you in a previous post Marine , lol , being a asshole makes some of um horny.

Them she wolfs are everywhere , glad to see you are finding your lane and having fun taking a different path then I.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I told you in a previous post Marine , lol , being a asshole makes some of um horny.

Them she wolfs are everywhere , glad to see you are finding your lane and having fun taking a different path then I.

I'm actually not a real person. I'm an algorithm matrix construct designed to appear as a friendly guy. My name is MARINE. Machine Assisted Response Intelligence Network Entity.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I'm actually not a real person. I'm an algorithm matrix construct designed to appear as a friendly guy. My name is MARINE. Machine Assisted Response Intelligence Network Entity.

Hahah pretty good line , you should figure a way to use that. Maybe put sum battiers up your ass and call your self bob for short.

B … battery

O ….operated

B ….boyfriend

It could be a thread of your very own , Marine lol

 

[AmberLGreen]

I am nosey about what your favourite song of all time is. I need to create a new playlist and need some inspiration

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I am nosey about what your favourite song of all time is. I need to create a new playlist and need some inspiration

Guns and roses

Ain’t it fun

 

[Azuldrgon]

I am nosey about what your favourite song of all time is. I need to create a new playlist and need some inspiration

what mood?

Hyper song would be "Shot in the Dark" by Ozzy.

Slow song "Forever" either the Kenny Loggins version or the KISS version.

 

[Dribble]

I am not going to quote one particular person as there are so many comments on the subject of who is “playing” with more than one person but I do see that it is (mostly) the ladies discussing this.

I am nosey as to what the guys think as I am pretty certain that there are instances when the position is reversed.

I hate getting a picture or an audio thinking it was taken or made for me and finding out later...it wasn't. I suspect it works both ways.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I can’t recall ever getting something vulgar out of the blue. I don’t get that many PMs though and definitely not many randoms.

Noted , don’t be nervous , I’m a professional think of it like getting a invitation to fantasy island or a tax refund with interest from the government. They fucked you hard , but you got a refund in your mailbox waiting for you. All you have to do is open your ….box and deposit it in the ummmm bank.



I was going to use spank bank , but that sounds vulgar

 

[Dribble]

I am nosey about what your favourite song of all time is. I need to create a new playlist and need some inspiration

There can be no one song. But this has been up there for a decade now

https://youtu.be/PT9hvyDvKHA

Plus Gabriella is fucking amazing

 

[Chillygirl]

I am nosey about what your favourite song of all time is. I need to create a new playlist and need some inspiration

Best of You—Foo Fighters