What are you CRAVING?

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To die because I'm only getting worse. I'll never get better, time and doctor after doctor have proved this. I made a grave mistake 15 months ago but luckily the family will take over. The meds aren't staying down, I can't function right, I'm losing it. Please God, help me.
 
To die because I'm only getting worse. I'll never get better, time and doctor after doctor have proved this. I made a grave mistake 15 months ago but luckily the family will take over. The meds aren't staying down, I can't function right, I'm losing it. Please God, help me.

...there must be a better way
 
To die because I'm only getting worse. I'll never get better, time and doctor after doctor have proved this. I made a grave mistake 15 months ago but luckily the family will take over. The meds aren't staying down, I can't function right, I'm losing it. Please God, help me.

Cookie jar if you ever and I do mean ever need a ear..just to talk...MY ears are always open...I can't understand or come to understand what you are feeling but I do understand that death could end you next step..I when with knowing that for six month before my operation..I will never forget tell the Dr. I keep my phone in my pocket at all times and it is for 911 and he told you will never get it out of your pocket, for will pass-out and be got within a couple minutes....that was 2 year ago....My spirit helped to stay along with a 6 year old daughter at the time....My gem...my life...find that anchor and don't give up no matter how hard it gets my sweet lady.:rose:;):kiss:
 
This week was over so I can get to Fl...Clearwater that is..swimming hole, BBQ and beautiful beaches.
 
To die because I'm only getting worse. I'll never get better, time and doctor after doctor have proved this. I made a grave mistake 15 months ago but luckily the family will take over. The meds aren't staying down, I can't function right, I'm losing it. Please God, help me.

whenever I would make a comment like this, a friend of mine would tell me, "what would your mother do without you?" I was the one here taking care of mom.. sure, my family would have taken over, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt her like that and bring all of that upheaval to her life.

so... mainly I'm still here because I'm a coward. I want to die sometimes but I'm also terrified of what death will bring, and it's not like you can change your mind and come back any time you want. with death, all sales are FINAL. but I'm also still here because I couldn't bring myself to hurt the people in my life like that, especially my mother.

sure, your family will take over, but it's not the same. if you can't find a way to hang on for you, try to hang on for everyone else. :rose:
 
A really hard workout. The kinda that makes you feel amazing afterward while at the same time making you want to slip into a coma.
 
Sorry for the blurt. Tomorrow starts "Operation Kill or Cure." A last ditch attempt to salvage what's left of me.
 
Sorry for the blurt. Tomorrow starts "Operation Kill or Cure." A last ditch attempt to salvage what's left of me.

I don't think there's any need to be sorry. you were just stating how you felt at the time. I will be sending any and all positive vibes I can muster in your direction.
 
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