What are we to do ladies??

[Max Headroom]

I have read with interest another thread about guys looking up skirts, and whilst I don't condone unwanted upskirt viewing or picture taking I would like to add a slight slant on the topic which causes me to wonder who is the hunter and who is the hunted??

What reaction do women expect/want when they dress so provactively sometimes? Is it to turn male heads or screw with our minds??

I have just returned from another bussiness trip and the lady at the hotel reception greeted me as always with a smile and a flash of her breasts!! Yes I am a guy and can't help peeking!!

She always wears one of those push me up squash them together affairs and has the buttons on her shirt undone way, way too low exposing far to much of her. The emsemble creates the effect of presenting them to me as if they a bountiful bowl of friut. My reaction is, as ever, one of confusion what do I do???

Look (she may-be offended at me oppressing her), don't look (she may-be offended having put so much effort into presenting them I am meant to look).

Anyway, it is almost impossible to sign in while she is leaning over the desk showing you which box to fill in etc and I can't look at the ceiling and sign in. Should I comment on them in a loud voice as how nicely they are presented!! What does she want and what does she expect??

They are beautiful but in all honesty I could do without the dilemma. Same goes for some short skirts, jeans cut so low that they are at the pubic bone etc.

So what are we expected to do ladies grab a peek or not??

 

[EJFan]

whether a woman expects these kinds of responses is really immaterial. any woman should know that such a response is POSSIBLE... and while they're welcome to wear (and do) as they wish, they need to realize that there are consequences and repercussions.

no one makes a decision in a vacuum... as with everything in life, hope for the best & prepare for the worst.

 

[NaughtyLil1]

It's a torture technique that we use. Just as you mentioned, to look or not to look throws a lot of guys for a loop.

I dress in a way I feel most comfortable. It's cool if it happens to catch a guy's eye, and it's fine with me if it doesn't.

 

[Eilan]

What reaction do women expect/want when they dress so provactively sometimes? Is it to turn male heads or screw with our minds??

You're walking a fine line here. This same logic can be twisted in an attempt to "justify" rape. I mean, if a woman's dressed like she wants to fuck then obviously she wants to fuck. Even if SHE doesn't realize it.

I think that the whole issue with the upskirt thread wasn't that men shouldn't look at women when they wear sexy clothing, but that some people interpreted the thread starter's activities as questionable. It may not have been his intent to come across that way, but it shows that the etiquette of looking up ladies' skirts (is there such a thing?) is a bit of a touchy subject.

I'm not much of a skimpy clothes or skirt wearer myself. When I do wear them, I know how not to flash others. If I WANT someone to see the goods, believe me, he'll know it. I have no problem with receiving compliments, but if someone's going out of his way to see things I don't want him to see, then that's a problem.

There's a difference between looking at someone appreciatively and leering. People who can't make that distinction shouldn't be looking, period.

 

[Lyrical Fool]

You're walking a fine line here. This same logic can be twisted in an attempt to "justify" rape. I mean, if a woman's dressed like she wants to fuck then obviously she wants to fuck. Even if SHE doesn't realize it.

There's a BIG difference between being "seen" and being "fucked."

Chances are, if she's showing off her cleavage in such a way, she's proud of them, and as they're offered, so to speak, as fruit, to not look would be silly.

The whole actual "Fuck me" issue aside, people dress as they wish to be seen.

If she didn't want them seen, she'd cover them up. End of story.

But women are twisted people. It may be that she wants people to look just so she can act all offended. Stranger things have happened.

 

[Eilan]

There's a BIG difference between being "seen" and being "fucked."

I'm not saying there isn't, and I know that's not quite the issue here. That's why I said the "logic" could be twisted.

I tend to be of the opinion that women who wear skimpy clothing shoudn't be surprised when men check them out, but I also understand that women don't want someone's appreciation of them to "invade their space" (for lack of a better term, since my brain's not working properly this evening).

Maybe I'm just bitter because nobody was checking me out when I went to the store today. Geez, what could be sexier than baggy mesh basketball shorts and an oversized t-shirt?

 

[EJFan]

nothing justifies breaking the law. period.

that being said, humans do things for one of two reasons... to fulfill a need or to fulfill a want. there's obviously no NEED to dress THAT provocatively so these chicks must be fulfilling a want.

so what is the want?

it could be the want to be noticed, the want to be hit on, the want to bloat their ego, the want to tease... any number of things. but the point is that it's TOTALLY OPTIONAL and the option they've chose will have results. nothing wrong with that as long as they know it.

 

[Lynxie]

nothing justifies breaking the law. period.

that being said, humans do things for one of two reasons... to fulfill a need or to fulfill a want. there's obviously no NEED to dress THAT provocatively so these chicks must be fulfilling a want.

so what is the want?

it could be the want to be noticed, the want to be hit on, the want to bloat their ego, the want to tease... any number of things. but the point is that it's TOTALLY OPTIONAL and the option they've chose will have results. nothing wrong with that as long as they know it.

I tend to agree with this point of view. Granted there are some stupid people out there, but I think the majority of women understand how their appearance plays in to how people react to them. If you wear revealing clothing, chances are you know it's revealing. I put a lot of thought into what I wear everyday, and I'm not normally one to wear short skirts or very revealing clothes. I'd imagine that other women are similar and give some thought to their wardrobe when considering what to wear on a particular day. So yes, women in revealing clothing are most likely striving for attention.

However, the woman who dresses provocatively should not be solely responsible for the reactions of others. Men (and women, as the case may be) may be turned on by a woman's outfit (or lack thereof), but they have a responsibility to respect their fellow human beings and the laws and expectations of society. If you're on an elevator and the woman ahead of you happens to be wearing a short skirt, chances are she's not inviting you to look. Unless she catches your eye before spreading her legs a bit wider, or blatantly tells you what she wants, it's probably best not to stare. We females may like to play headgames from time to time, but we're also good at making it very clear about what we want when we want it. If we want you to look, we'll give you plenty of opportunities. If we don't, then you shouldn't go out of your way to try and catch a glimpse.

It all comes down to respect. The female body can be appreciated without disrespecting one's personal space.

 

[bisexplicit]

How many times have you seen boobies? A lot.

My advice: Get the fuck over it.

I don't know, I'm just sick of the whole issue - no one EVER talks about guys who walk around with their shirt off.

 

[AppleBiter]

I don't know, I'm just sick of the whole issue - no one EVER talks about guys who walk around with their shirt off.

That's because most of the guys that do are all old and saggy and flabby, sweaty and hairy and pale, out mowing the lawn. *shudders*

 

[fgarvb1]

Sign in, turn to walk away, look back, smile and say "nice rack by the way" and keep on walking.

 

[krazeekat]

Of course you look, you're only human but you don't have to make a career out of it.

 

[bisexplicit]

That's because most of the guys that do are all old and saggy and flabby, sweaty and hairy and pale, out mowing the lawn. *shudders*

I'm gonna start a thread all about how I can't help myself, I have to stare, drool, make cat calls, yell something obscene, or take pictures when guys bend over and you can see their ass hanging out of their pants.

 

[Quoll]

Most people want something as EJ said, whether it be attention, validation, simple acknowledgement of there existence or even not to be noticed, not to stand out.
I am in and out of many different business houses during my work and there are a few secretaries and receptionists that dress very smartly and often show a bit of cleavage when signing receipts, I look, appreciate and carry on, I don't drool, I don't poke and I don't leer. I don't see it as an invitation to anything more than to see what is being shown, it's cleavage, leg, thigh whatever, they look nice but unless there is a flashing light and an arrow saying enter here, it is not an invitation for anything else.
Why do guys with good muscles wear revealing t-shirts?
Why do cyclists wear those tight lycra shorts that outline their genitals so nicely?
Maybe because it is more comfortable, maybe because they are proud of how they look. Does it mean they want everyone leering and drooling over them? (yes I know the standard bloke answer )
I have my hair tied in a plait that reaches down to my waist, and I get a lot of comments on it, that doesn't bother me, however when people make assumptions about me simply because of it, that pisses me off, sure I could cut it off to please some random stranger, but I think I have the right to dress how I want.
My wife has a few tattoos, some people love them, I have seen others who have known her for years suddenly change their whole way of thinking, simply because they found out about them.
We often make assumptions based on what we are thinking, on our ideologies. How much do we really know about the people we making these assumptions about?
Short skirt = slut? Or, I've spent 9 months walking my arse off and I'm damn proud of my legs.
Muscle shirt on men = dumb show off. Or, Who would have thought five years ago I nearly died of a heart attack, I am so glad to be alive.
Maybe it has absolutely nothing to do with anybody else, maybe it is simply for themselves.
What can we do about it? Show respect. Don't assume.
Yeah well anyway that's my take on it I guess.

 

[Guest]

 

[Brinnie]

camera phones should be banned

 

[revolution724]

it could be the want to be noticed, the want to be hit on, the want to bloat their ego, the want to tease... any number of things. but the point is that it's TOTALLY OPTIONAL and the option they've chose will have results. nothing wrong with that as long as they know it.

Or, it could be marketing. I think especially younger girls are highly influenced by what is "fashionable," and the definition of "fashion" has spiked in the direction of revealing skin over the last 30 years or so. So, girls dress that way because their friends dress that way, because the actresses on TV dress that way, because they feel older when they dress in ways that show that they're sexually mature. It doesn't mean that they're necessarily looking to be hit on or tease men.

In fact, it is quite possible that some of the things women do, even when they seem to touch on sexuality, don't actually have anything to do with men (read: YOU) at all.

Beyond this - since it is your choice and decision how to react given the stimuli presented to you, you then have the responsibility to learn the difference between looking and leering, and certainly between maintaining appropriate behavioral boundaries with strangers, no matter how appealing, and crossing them.

I think it's the line of thinking that has a problem with having to behave mindfully this way that puts women in certain cultures behind closed doors or muffled to the teeth.

 

[silverwhisper]

quoll: i agree w/ scalywag: well said!

revolution: i was thinking the same thing, that it's not about men at all. there's something i remember from a short story i once read in playboy: men dress for women, and so do women.

ed

 

[AppleBiter]

Edited: Strangely enough, this comment ended up in the wrong thread. My apologies.

 

[M's girl]

Most people want something as EJ said, whether it be attention, validation, simple acknowledgement of there existence or even not to be noticed, not to stand out.
I am in and out of many different business houses during my work and there are a few secretaries and receptionists that dress very smartly and often show a bit of cleavage when singing receipts, I look, appreciate and carry on, I don't drool, I don't poke and I don't leer. I don't see it as an invitation to anything more than to see what is being shown, it's cleavage, leg, thigh whatever, they look nice but unless there is a flashing light and an arrow saying enter here, it is not an invitation for anything else.
Why do guys with good muscles wear revealing t-shirts?
Why do cyclists wear those tight lycra shorts that outline their genitals so nicely.?
Maybe because it is more comfortable, maybe because they are proud of how they look. Does it mean they want everyone leering and drooling over them? (yes I know the standard bloke answer )
I have my hair tied in a plait that reaches down to my waist and I get a lot of comments on it, that doesn't bother, however when people make assumptions about me simply because of it, that pisses me off, sure I could cut it off to please some random stranger but I think I have the right to dress how I want.
My wife has a few tattoos, some people love them, I have seen others who have known her for years suddenly change their whole way of thinking simply because they found out about them.
We often make assumptions based on what we are thinking, on our ideologies, how much do we really know about the people we making these assumptions about.
Short skirt = slut? Or, I've spent 9 months walking my arse off and I'm damn proud of my legs.
Muscle shirt on men = dumb show off. Or, Who would have thought five years ago I nearly died of a heart attack, I am so glad to be alive.
Maybe it has absolutely nothing to do with anybody else, maybe it is simply for themselves.
What can we do about it? Show respect. Don't assume.
Yeah well anyway that's my take on it I guess.

Okay.... I was still thinking how to put my comments into the right words when I saw you had already written them down for me ..... Thank you!

 

[Private_Label]

I have read with interest another thread about guys looking up skirts, and whilst I don't condone unwanted upskirt viewing or picture taking I would like to add a slight slant on the topic which causes me to wonder who is the hunter and who is the hunted??

What reaction do women expect/want when they dress so provactively sometimes? Is it to turn male heads or screw with our minds??

I believe in the other thread it didn't matter how short the skirt was, he was attempting to peek regardless.

I have just returned from another bussiness trip and the lady at the hotel reception greeted me as always with a smile and a flash of her breasts!! Yes I am a guy and can't help peeking!!

She always wears one of those push me up squash them together affairs and has the buttons on her shirt undone way, way too low exposing far to much of her. The emsemble creates the effect of presenting them to me as if they a bountiful bowl of friut. My reaction is, as ever, one of confusion what do I do???

Look (she may-be offended at me oppressing her), don't look (she may-be offended having put so much effort into presenting them I am meant to look).

Anyway, it is almost impossible to sign in while she is leaning over the desk showing you which box to fill in etc and I can't look at the ceiling and sign in. Should I comment on them in a loud voice as how nicely they are presented!! What does she want and what does she expect??

They are beautiful but in all honesty I could do without the dilemma. Same goes for some short skirts, jeans cut so low that they are at the pubic bone etc.

So what are we expected to do ladies grab a peek or not??

There you are dealing with a "professional" situation. As a hostess, it is her job to ensure you enjoy your stay. Being "eye candy" is one way to get you to remember your visit with a smile rather than remembering that the hot water always ran out in the morning as you showered. It could also have been ment to distract you from the contract you were signing and what the "hidden" charges might be.

I think a non specific comment such as "You look very nice today" or "I really like your blouse" would be appreciated. Drooling on the other hand just makes you look like a dirty old disgusting man - avoid that if you can.