What are my chances.......

[Red320319]

of finding a female who lives in the same relative area as myself (Minnesota) who would be interested in at least getting to know each other. I don't expect to just be able to find a NSA fuck buddy instantly (although that be awesome!) so I am wondering the best way to go about meeting someone through Lit

 

[Christopher2012]

Just go through Personals. The best way to go about doing it is to find a thread that covers people in Minnesota, and then post about yourself there. For instance, I saw a thread entitled, "Georgia Roll Call" and I posted there. Met some cool women.

But here's the thing - for the most part, all men in your situation do the SAME thing. They just PM every woman they see. Don't do that. You should probably just have conversations in the threads created by others.

And whatever you do, DO NOT give out compliments like they're hotcakes! That's setting yourself up for disaster. That would be like seeing a female friend in real life and telling her she's gorgeous everytime you start a sentence... and it doesn't work. BESIDES, women get it all the time from men, especially here. And what's funny is that alot of times, guys hit on women with NO picture. *shakes head* I just don't understand it.

You'll actually have better chances if you were slightly insulting yet expressing it in a joking way. I don't know, works for me. Everybody's different. Just do your thing.

Just don't get desperate. Because you do stupid shit when you're desperate. Remember that the goal here is to show that you're different from all the other guys standing in line.

 

[Eilan]

Just go through Personals.

Looks like he's tried that close to 30 times already.

OP, I took a quick glance at the threads you've started and the posts you've made, and, to be honest, you're not doing anything to set yourself apart from the scads of horny men seeking women. And although it won't matter to some women, being married doesn't help your cause.

I agree with Christopher2012 said about posting in location-related threads (you could even start a Minnesota thread if there isn't already one, but expect it to be full of testosterone). Instead of doing the leg-humping, drive-by posting thing, try to start up actual conversations, get to know people on the boards, and then move to PM/IM and wherever that takes you.

Meeting people online is at least as much work as meeting people IRL. Probably more so for men. It's not just going to magically happen for you.

Good luck.

 

[satindesire]

You'll actually have better chances if you were slightly insulting yet expressing it in a joking way. I don't know, works for me. Everybody's different. Just do your thing.

I can say this from a woman's perspective, please don't do this. The only type of women you're attract are women with self-esteem problems who respond to "negging". Negging is when you attack a woman's self-esteem by insulting them, in order to make her feel vulnerable, thus more pliant to your advances. Emotionally healthy, smart women will either call you out on acting like an ass, or they'll simply end the conversation and never speak to you again. Trust me on this.

If you really want to attract an emotionally healthy woman in a GOOD way, then be honest about what you're looking for, and actually make an effort to tell women who and what you are. A single post of "I'm in this state and I want sex" is just one in a million other posts exactly like that.

Women, whether they're looking for NSA sex or a relationship, aren't going to respond to a single line of barely thought-out information. Posting some recent and clear pictures of yourself is a good start, as would be talking about your interests, your hobbies and any other past experiences that might be valuable insight as to who you are as a person.

The personals would be a good place to start, but remember, you're one of a literal thousand guys on here looking for NSA sex. You need to STAND OUT FROM THE PACK.

And for God's sake, don't insult women to get them to fuck you.

 

[coastal-boy]

Or you can be like me...following Satin around lusting over her...waiting for the day when alzheimer's clouds her mind enough that she mistakes me for her husband. I'll be ready

 

[Christopher2012]

I can say this from a woman's perspective, please don't do this. The only type of women you're attract are women with self-esteem problems who respond to "negging". Negging is when you attack a woman's self-esteem by insulting them, in order to make her feel vulnerable, thus more pliant to your advances. Emotionally healthy, smart women will either call you out on acting like an ass, or they'll simply end the conversation and never speak to you again. Trust me on this.

If you really want to attract an emotionally healthy woman in a GOOD way, then be honest about what you're looking for, and actually make an effort to tell women who and what you are. A single post of "I'm in this state and I want sex" is just one in a million other posts exactly like that.

Women, whether they're looking for NSA sex or a relationship, aren't going to respond to a single line of barely thought-out information. Posting some recent and clear pictures of yourself is a good start, as would be talking about your interests, your hobbies and any other past experiences that might be valuable insight as to who you are as a person.

The personals would be a good place to start, but remember, you're one of a literal thousand guys on here looking for NSA sex. You need to STAND OUT FROM THE PACK.

And for God's sake, don't insult women to get them to fuck you.

I disagree with you. Showering a woman in compliments has never done anything except boost her ego... or just make her think you're crazy. And just posting pictures and being honest about who you are doesn't do anything for you. You're standing in a line of a thousand guys who have all tried that in the past. Doesn't work.

You have to do it tactfully. And it's not negging. That VH1 show overexaggerated the idea of flirting and now flirting gets the bad rep.

But that's why no man should depend on the internet. Why would you? You have no clear image of who you're talking to, a vast distance between many women (even if in state), and potentially alot of nothing. So just talk to talk, enjoy your visit, and go out to find women.

Like Eilan said, it's a lot of work. I think it's more work online - much harder. Many more guys throwing themselves out there.

 

[satindesire]

I disagree with you. Showering a woman in compliments has never done anything except boost her ego... or just make you think you're crazy. And just posting pictures and being honest about who you are doesn't do anything for you. You're standing in a line of a thousand guys who have all tried that in the past. Doesn't work.

You have to do it tactfully. And it's not negging. That VH1 show overexaggerated the idea of flirting and now flirting gets the bad rep.

But that's why no man should depend on the internet. Why would you? You have no clear image of who you're talking to, a vast distance between many women (even if in state), and potentially alot of nothing. So just talk to talk, enjoy your visit, and go out to find women.

Like Eilan said, it's a lot of work. I think it's more work online - much harder. Many more guys throwing themselves out there.

Uhh, I never said ANYTHING anywhere in my post about 'showering a woman with compliments'. As a woman, I find that a turn-off. So why on earth would I advise a man to do that? Oh, that's right. I didn't.

Being realistic about yourself and what you're looking for isn't not being tactful, it's being HONEST and you can do that with tact. Tactfulness isn't lying. And honest is one of the most valuable things a person can be to another person.

Negging is NOT flirting. And your definition of "insulting her in an 'amusing' way" IS THE DEFINITION OF NEGGING, son. If a guy said "I like your earrings. My mom wears a lot of fake jewelry, too." I'd say "You're a fucking bastard" and walk away. I wouldn't laugh, nor would I be prone to letting such an immature jerk into my pants. I like grown men, most emotionally healthy women do.

Sorry I bruised your ego by telling this guy not to Neg in order to get into women's pants, but I believe I'm entitled to my opinion. And as a woman, I think I have a very good idea of what women REALLY like when it comes to dating.

 

[Christopher2012]

Uhh, I never said ANYTHING anywhere in my post about 'showering a woman with compliments'. As a woman, I find that a turn-off. So why on earth would I advise a man to do that? Oh, that's right. I didn't.

Being realistic about yourself and what you're looking for isn't not being tactful, it's being HONEST and you can do that with tact. Tactfulness isn't lying. And honest is one of the most valuable things a person can be to another person.

Negging is NOT flirting. And your definition of "insulting her in an 'amusing' way" IS THE DEFINITION OF NEGGING, son. If a guy said "I like your earrings. My mom wears a lot of fake jewelry, too." I'd say "You're a fucking bastard" and walk away. I wouldn't laugh, nor would I be prone to letting such an immature jerk into my pants. I like grown men, most emotionally healthy women do.

Sorry I bruised your ego by telling this guy not to Neg in order to get into women's pants, but I believe I'm entitled to my opinion. And as a woman, I think I have a very good idea of what women REALLY like when it comes to dating.

You didn't bruise my ego, but I'm telling you what works. Try standing in a guy's shoes and doing it yourself - on a forum, not in real life. As a woman, you know what you want, and yes you're right. You are honest, you are tactful, and you don't say stupid shit like your example.

However, I said that VH1 overexaggerated flirting. Your example is that overexaggeration. That a straight up insult even with 100 smileys following.

Actually, I think we're saying the same thing. Being honest is being insulting, a little bit. Because most guys will just agree with everything a woman says - I'm sure you've noticed.

And do women not flirt with insults? "I think she's cute!" "I think he's dreaming! " Is that not flirting? It was an insult! But it's read like a joke when that wink is added at the end. Is that a NEG?

I'm just telling you what works. Make a profile yourself as a guy and try to get a woman in a PM room with simply honesty and tact. Will not work, promise.

 

[coastal-boy]

I'm just telling you what works. Make a profile yourself as a guy and try to get a woman in a PM room with simply honesty and tact. Will not work, promise.

I am a guy...and I haven't had this problem.

Hey Satin...after your husband leaves tonight...we're still on for our Skype visit right?

 

[satindesire]

I am a guy...and I haven't had this problem.

Hey Satin...after your husband leaves tonight...we're still on for our Skype visit right?

I don't remember agreeing to that...But then again, I have been rather doped up on Vicoden lately, only heaven knows what's been going on!

 

[little_kid]

.... so I am wondering the best way to go about meeting someone through Lit

you should read my thread

*Tricks of Trade* Scoring with online women on literotica

 

[NightL]

...by turning off your computer... find your personality that you probably discarded under your single bed... dress smartly (for whatever style you are in to) ...and leave your house... as you meet people in your everyday life... smile, be polite and genuinely interested. Compliment where it is due (not "You look great today do you wanna fuck...? Ask questions and be interested in the responses you get... be friendly, genuine and honest... and SMILE...

You just never know... you may get far more than a NSA FB... and maybe just some good friends along the way as well... and as far as Little_Kid's thread is concerned... hmmm... he likes to keep things in hand...

Try the real world... may surprise you how much fun it can be...

 

[infinity706]

You didn't bruise my ego, but I'm telling you what works. Try standing in a guy's shoes and doing it yourself - on a forum, not in real life. As a woman, you know what you want, and yes you're right. You are honest, you are tactful, and you don't say stupid shit like your example.

However, I said that VH1 overexaggerated flirting. Your example is that overexaggeration. That a straight up insult even with 100 smileys following.

Actually, I think we're saying the same thing. Being honest is being insulting, a little bit. Because most guys will just agree with everything a woman says - I'm sure you've noticed.

And do women not flirt with insults? "I think she's cute!" "I think he's dreaming! " Is that not flirting? It was an insult! But it's read like a joke when that wink is added at the end. Is that a NEG?

I'm just telling you what works. Make a profile yourself as a guy and try to get a woman in a PM room with simply honesty and tact. Will not work, promise.

Hey, it might be helpful to listen to Ms Satin. She's quite good at seducing women.

 

[satindesire]

Hey, it might be helpful to listen to Ms Satin. She's quite good at seducing women.

One of the best, my friend.

 

[infinity706]

Yeah, and as much as I hate to admit it, far better than I am. I just have to get by on reputation and offering a free sexual favor to people I've flirted with and become friends with. If seduction were mandatory, I'd seriously never get sex.

 

[satindesire]

Yeah, and as much as I hate to admit it, far better than I am. I just have to get by on reputation and offering a free sexual favor to people I've flirted with and become friends with. If seduction were mandatory, I'd seriously never get sex.

You just need practice, sweetheart. It's like anything in the world, you just gotta learn.

You should talk to some of your female friends and ask them about seduction. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to talk to you about it.

 

[infinity706]

No, they're not about to teach me how to seduce anyone because they don't want me bedding everything in sight and doing things for guys that they'd rather not do themselves. Afterall, I racked up more partners than all my friends combined without being good at seduction. Besides, they have a pretty clear incentive because it means less risk of anything happening to me and more time for sex with them. (yes, I have, at least occasional sex with the majority of my female friends) Afterall, they get better sex than any guy they've ever dated and without any of the "bullshit" that they normally have to deal with to get sex. They don't have to impress me by dressing a certain way, spending time on their hair, perfume, or makeup, shaving, having limits put on their choices, and don't have to avoid "girltalk" topics. I'm just the girlfriend that's available for sex. They don't even bother with birth control unless they want some other guy, because my penis stays out from between their legs. Of course, considering that I've regularly fucked more people in a week than most of my friends have in a year, they might have a point that I don't need to seduce people.

 

[Hawkwind2002]

If only things were so easy...

You just need practice, sweetheart. It's like anything in the world, you just gotta learn.

You should talk to some of your female friends and ask them about seduction. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to talk to you about it.

I hate to have to do this, but I'm going to have to disagree. You can be as nice and as honest about yourself as you possibly can be... all it ever seems to get is "You'll make someone a good husband some day" with the unsaid part of it being "just not me." Or the OTHER lovely reply... "I love you like a brother". To me, I can't STAND my brother, haven't been able to for thirty years and I don't see that changing, so telling that to me is one of the worst things anyone can say, because as far as I'm concerned, brothers aren't worth much.

 

[infinity706]

It's not really anything wrong with you. Most likely, the problem is that there's someone else they're after in addition to the fact that they don't want to wreck a friendship with you.

 

[WriterDom]

Wife is away; husband will play - 06

Jesus H. Christ with threads like that, no wonder. Try fucking your wife. That might work.

 

[temp256]

I have the same problem. In the same location, actually. Don't get your hopes up though--I also like girls. Which makes things even more difficult for me.

 

[little_kid]

OP IS already MARRIED and wants N.S.A fuck buddy.
Instead of helping you, i'll say go back to your wife before she posts a same thread here asking "what are my chances of finding a stud".?