Were you spanked as a child?

[WriterDom]

I brought up spanking years ago to a lady I was seeing. She wanted no part of it. Had horrible memories of her father spanking her in the bathroom. One of my past subs was punished with a yardstick. It certainly didn't turn her off to that kind of thing. I was paddled a few times at school, but don't remember being spanked at home.

 

[SierraMoon]

Yes, WD, i was spanked as a child, with a hand, and belt... not abusively, though... and yes, i have enjoyed spanking as an adult, with both hand and belt... seems to mean something different when it is not coming from a parent.. IMO anyway..

my 2 cents worth...
sierra

 

[Guest]

Yes, I was spanked and hit, as a child.
I never cried while being punished, though. I only cried when my brothers were hit.

 

[willfulbrat]

Being spanked as a child didn't seem to put me off being spanked as an adult. Though i lived in terror of my mother's wooden spoon and my father's belt, neither inspire particular fear in me now. I don't relish the idea of being spanked with a wooden spoon now, but if Master really wanted to do it, i'd submit.

Maybe my parents didn't beat me enough as a child. LOL

Seriously, i think we come to equate discipline with love and attention, maybe that's why some of us still crave it as adults.

 

[MissTaken]

I was spanked once or twice. It was more humiliating than painful. I don't believe it has anything to do with what I find enjoyable or don't find enjoyable as an adult.

 

[ltlwitch]

Yes, I was spanked as a child also. Mostly with a switch and sometimes a hand. The belt was often taken out and shown to me, but never used.

As an adult, I do enjoy both hand and belt, I haven't played with a switch, and don't want to. I don't find it at all arousing. Could it be from fearing it as a child? Who knows. Didn't like it then and I don't want it now.

~ltlwitch~

 

[~Dream~]

With Artful's permission,

I was spanked by hand , belt and switches from my gram's liilac bush .. damn could that old lady make it sting!! lol but in all seriousness, I agree with Willfull that I equate the discipline with Love & attention IF given in a "proper" manner , to me , anything else is ABUSE , plain, pure, and simple ...and I have to admit that I look forward to "spankings" from my Master mmmm

 

[shysub]

love and anger

I was also spanked as a child. That didn't seem so bad, I tried hard not to cry or show fear, but when it turned to abuse it really hurt mentally. I enjoy being spanked now, but I have had some issues to deal with. I have made very clear with my Master that whatever He wishes to do, it must be done with love and never in anger. The couple of times that happened before I was with Him, I cried and seized up in fear. It is not something to take lightly. I feel blessed to have found someone loving and understanding.

 

[Shaq]

I was spanked by hand....and by....*gulps*....wet cloth and clothes hangar....no joke...I don't find spanking to be erotic....well not receiving them anyway.....

 

[Daddyslilpet]

I was spanked also as a child. I think that is one of the hardest things I've been dealing with in the Dom/sub realtionship my husband and I are developing. Although, he has teased me for years that I needed one. Maybe he was right....LOL I am finding that its not as bad as I thought it would be, actually quite pleasurable.

dixicritter

 

[Skally]

Yup - I was spanked by a teacher when I was at school. I was around 5 or 6 at the time - and I think it happened twice - once by the hand and once by a ruler.

 

[SpectreT]

Allow me to add my affirmitive to the list - as well as a "me, too" on the wooden spoon thing willfulbrat mentioned. That was my mother's implement of choice also, and I have no particular desire to be reminded of my mother when I'm playing.

 

[CarolineOh]

I remember a number of spankings from my Mom, and a couple from my Grandma, who used a nasty wooden hairbrush. My Dad only spanked me once, when I was about 12, and I can assure that I am damn glad that there was only the one time!
I got paddled at school a couple of times too. Any other Catholic school girls have to bend over and take the paddle for rolling the waistband of your skirt up to make it shorter?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Yep

I was spanked as a child. However, I have never thought spanking was sexy or sensual as an adult. None of that "who's your Daddy?" stuff for Me. However I love spanking my subs!

Ebony

 

[Sweetwood]

bamboo switch

Three times in my childhood I was hit three strokes each with a bamboo switch by my father. Twice justified, once unjustified. It hurt like hell, I cried, and had red stinging welts on my ass for days.

Does that have anything to do with my liking for being treated to the horsewhip on occassion?

I don't think so. While the latter leaves me with fond emotions the former just fucking hurt. Just that!

Sweetwood

 

[cymbidia]

I was spanked by hand three or four times as a child. I don't remember those instances well at all, to be honest. I think each time it probably pissed me off more than anything else.

I don't really see much correlation between my distant memories of my angry mother and a few smacks on the butt and my present need and desire for erotic pain.

 

[Justine de Loup]

Yes, I was

As a small child, it was believed to be the best of punishments for a willful child as myself. I remember many times being layed upon the bed and "spanked" by any number of things ranging from a belt, brush and even a trusty plastic fly swatter. The only feelings that I can relive from those experiences was the anger and frustration of being punished, whether warranted or not. I can remember learning how to lessen the pain by flexing my buttocks hard which in turn made nasty bruises that encouraged my parents guilt when I showed them at a later time. In turn, they did it less frequently.

As for now, I see no reason to equate it with my feelings of wanting to submit to anyone. I just want to relinquish control...

Justine

 

[morninggirl5]

I was spanked as a child occasionally and once as a teenager. I really don't remember how it made me feel as a child, but when i was a teenager, i was resentful, angry, and much more determined that my behavior would NOT change. Paramount in my mind at that time was an attitude of "how dare she do this to me."

I don't think any of those incidents have any impact on my submissiveness or thought of spanking as erotic between adults. Perhaps because i am allowing myself to be placed in a submissive position and have to trust so completely to do so. I certainly didn't have that trust in my parents at that point in my life.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Yes.

Hands, wooden spoons, and belts, mostly.

I still won't play with wooden spoons. They remind me of my mom.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I remember being hit once as a child. My mother broke a wooden spoon over my thigh.

I seriously doubt that being spanked as a child, or not, has anything to do with current desires.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I still won't play with wooden spoons. They remind me of my mom.

I won't even have a wooden spoon in my house... talk about issues! lol

 

[RisiaSkye]

I won't even have a wooden spoon in my house... talk about issues! lol

I hear ya. I figure my mom broke at least 50 of them on me in my childhood. I still don't like the fucking things.

 

[cymbidia]

I figure my mom broke at least 50 of them on me in my childhood. I still don't like the fucking things.

~gasp~
Oh my god.





[troubled, upset, achy rant]
Just so you know: the subject of hitting children is one that sends me off spinning into wild emotionalism. It's something i feel very strongly about. I don't have too many black-or-white places but this is one of them.

In my heart/brain/life, i know it's true that kids who are hit by thier parents learn that it's okay for big people to hit little people or that hitting is an acceptable way to "solve" a problem. That's it. That's what they "learn" by being the victim of such barbaric tactics. Oh yeh, and they learn to mistrust and dislike and fear the adults who treat them with such casual disregard, too.

I've never hit either of my kids, not even once, and i never will.

I intervene in public places when i see a parent (or parental figure) touching a child in a hostile or physically punishing manner. Even impatient or angry swats on the butt send me into red anger at the adult administering it. I always wonder - if they'll hit that kid like that right here in public, what do they do in private?

As adults, as BDSM'ers, we eroticize pain but children are children, not adults. In my mind, it is forever wrong that even one of them should have to learn to handle unnecessary pain. No one should hit or be hit unless it's the kind of thing we do together, safely, sanely and consensually. It hurts my heart that so many of you were hit as children. I hope you don't do that to your kids.
[/troubled, upset, achy rant]

 

[RisiaSkye]

In my heart/brain/life, i know it's true that kids who are hit by thier parents learn that it's okay for big people to hit little people or that hitting is an acceptable way to "solve" a problem. That's it. That's what they "learn" by being the victim of such barbaric tactics. Oh yeh, and they learn to mistrust and dislike and fear the adults who treat them with such casual disregard, too.

I disagree.

We all have a choice in what we learn from our childhoods. We may not have any influence over what happens to us as children, but we have plenty of agency in choosing how we behave as individuals.

 

[morninggirl5]

In my heart/brain/life, i know it's true that kids who are hit by thier parents learn that it's okay for big people to hit little people or that hitting is an acceptable way to "solve" a problem. That's it. That's what they "learn" by being the victim of such barbaric tactics. Oh yeh, and they learn to mistrust and dislike and fear the adults who treat them with such casual disregard, too.

cym, you took my feelings and put them into words. In over ten years of working with young children, this is the one truth that has been proven over and over with all the different groups of children. A child who is spanked learns that when you get angry you hit. Young children make choices in behavior based on what they have experienced.

Risia, older children and adults certainly learn to make choices and overcome their experiences. Young children cannot do that and it's much more difficult for them to overcome behaviors that have become their stock responses.