I recently saw a thread by a man
who was jealous of his wife's prior sexual
experiences which he learned about after their
marriage. It got me thinking about my changing
attitudes on jealousy over the years and I felt
it might make an interesting thread in itself.
I believe that a reaction of jealousy to a
spouse's/SO's prior sexual experiences is pretty
common for men, particularly younger guys.
Personally, I'm now in my early fifties and went
through these same feelings when I married at
age 20--my wife had told me I had been her only
lover but later after the marriage it came out
that she had sex with at least two other guys--
that's all she'll admit to but I suspect there
were likely more--while we were apart at
college. In the summers we would be together and
had a very satisfying sex life but she went to
college on the West Coast and I in the Midwest.
During the long years apart we both gave in to
our sexual needs and slept with other people.
Initially, when she told me, I felt very
deceived, jealous and was angry. For a long
time--maybe a year or so--we didn't talk about
it. It took awhile before I could think
rationally about it but I did get over it.
Today, after thirty plus years of marriage,
three children and some increasingly ho-hum sex,
I often get turned on when I think about her
getting laid or blowing another man--I wish I
sould have been there to watch it happening.
It's funny how feelings change over time. What
I used to dread and abhor I now happily
fantasize over.
Anyone else had this kind of changing reaction?.
who was jealous of his wife's prior sexual
experiences which he learned about after their
marriage. It got me thinking about my changing
attitudes on jealousy over the years and I felt
it might make an interesting thread in itself.
I believe that a reaction of jealousy to a
spouse's/SO's prior sexual experiences is pretty
common for men, particularly younger guys.
Personally, I'm now in my early fifties and went
through these same feelings when I married at
age 20--my wife had told me I had been her only
lover but later after the marriage it came out
that she had sex with at least two other guys--
that's all she'll admit to but I suspect there
were likely more--while we were apart at
college. In the summers we would be together and
had a very satisfying sex life but she went to
college on the West Coast and I in the Midwest.
During the long years apart we both gave in to
our sexual needs and slept with other people.
Initially, when she told me, I felt very
deceived, jealous and was angry. For a long
time--maybe a year or so--we didn't talk about
it. It took awhile before I could think
rationally about it but I did get over it.
Today, after thirty plus years of marriage,
three children and some increasingly ho-hum sex,
I often get turned on when I think about her
getting laid or blowing another man--I wish I
sould have been there to watch it happening.
It's funny how feelings change over time. What
I used to dread and abhor I now happily
fantasize over.
Anyone else had this kind of changing reaction?.
