Warning: Bad Joke Inside

[Shylady]

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a
monastery and requests shelter there.

Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was
treated to the best fish and chips she had ever
tasted.

After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the
chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers.

The first one says, "Hello, I am brother Michael,
and this is Brother Charles."

"I'm very pleased to meet you," replies the nun. "I
just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The
fish and chips were the best I've ever had. Out of
curiosity, who cooked what?"

Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."

She turned to the other Brother and says
"then you must be....?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk."

 

[Cheshire Cat]

lol hehe not what I was expecting but was still funny

 

[Shylady]

lol I love corny stuff like that

 

[Simply Me]

That was bad.. keep those up and I will flash you in my sexy shorts again..

 

[Shylady]

omg no not that anything but that

 

[Bluenose]

Where do you keep coming up with this stuff.

 

[willywanker]

really, Really, Really, Really Bad one following




You Have been warned!!!!!!!!









Question: How do you embarrass an archeologist?

Answer: Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.

 

[Bluenose]

OMG Willy that was BAD

 

[Shylady]

omg Willy you should be flashed by Simply in her shorts for that

ugh

 

[gleam]

I may have told this one already. Apologies in advance.

Three boys find five dollars and try to decide what to do with it. The first boy pipes up:

"Let's go to the movies!"

The other two think about this and finally say:

"Naaaaaahhh....not enough money! We couldn't all get in!"

So they continue thinking. The second boy comes up with something:

"Let's buy some candy!"

The other two think about this and finally say:

"Naaaaaaaaaaaaahhh....it's almost dinner and our Mom's will kill us!"

The boys continue thinking. Finally the third boy pipes up:

"Let's buy some tampons!"

The other two look at him and ask: "What the heck are tampons?"

So the boy answers: "I don't know, but they're GREAT! I saw them on TV! You can go horse back riding with them, you can go swimming with them, you can play tennis with them...."

 

[morninggirl5]

A couple more contributions to the cause.


A blonde walks in to a coffee shop, and orders a cup of coffee. She looks on
the side of her cup
and finds a peel off prize. She pulls off the tab and yells, "I WON! I WON!
I WON a motor home; I
WON a motor home!"

The waitress runs over and says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given
away was a mini
van!"

The blonde replies, "No. I WON A motor home, I WON a motor home!"

By this time the manager makes his way over to the table and says, "You
couldn't possibly have
won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize!"

Again the blonde says, "No, no mistake, I WON a motor home, I WON a motor
home!"

The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, "WIN A
BAGEL."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JAKE AND BECKY

Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his
side. She held his
fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from
his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.

"My darling Becky," he whispered.

"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh, don't talk."

He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice.
"I ... I have something I must confess to you."

"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky.
"Everything's all right, go to sleep."

"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with
your Sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your
Mother!"

"I know" Becky whispered softly. "That's why I poisoned you."

 

[willywanker]

An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and
down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds
like she's driving a car.
As she rolls down the hall, an old man jumps out
of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am, but you
were speeding. Can I see your driver's license?"

The old lady digs around in her purse, pulls out
a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it
over, gives her a warning and sends her on her
way.

Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the
same old man jumps out of his room and says,
"Excuse me ma'am, but I saw you cross over the
center line back there. Can I see your
registration please?" She digs through her
purse, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to
him. He looks it over, gives her another warning
and sends her on her way.

She rolls off again, weaving recklessly up and
the halls. As she comes to the old man's
room again, he jumps out -- stark naked and with
an erection.

The old lady looks up from her wheelchair and
says, "Oh no...not the Breathalyzer Test again!

 

[Shylady]

omg y'all are just bad lol

 

[Harpoon]

Now Look

What you started Shy

 

[registered "^^"]

hmmmmmmmm

they make jokes up about alot of texans i see..lol

 

[Shylady]

Yea isn't it fun?

 

[registered "^^"]

c'mon BBB i know you have bad jokes.......hehehe

 

[Bluenose]

A guy goes into a bar and has a monkey on his shoulder. When he sits at the bar the fellow next to him asks him why he has the monkey. The guy says "well watch this". He hits the monkey on the back of the head and the monkey runs down gives him a BJ and then jumps back to his shoulder.

The guy sitting next to him can't believe what he just saw and askes the guy to do it again. So the guy hits the monkey again and the monkey does the same thing. When the monkey is back on his shoulder he asks the guy next to him if he would like to try it and the guy says sure but only if you promise not to hit me to hard.

 

[Bluenose]

Here is anotherreally really bad one












Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?







A: Line dancing in a nursing home.

 

[BlondGirl]

What does a really old woman smell like?


























Depends!

 

[Bluenose]

omg that is a cute one blondgirl

 

[Shylady]

I thought my jokes were bad

 

[Bluenose]

thay are Shy







just kidding

 

[Shylady]

*pinch*

 

[Bluenose]

ouch

What did you do that for