Wanted:editor for non-con story set in hotel

[Stephen5443]

I am about to be a first time submitter (I hope) to literotica. I have a "final" draft ready.
The story concerns a chambermaid who is imprisoned in a hotel room and abused.

The intro. starts as folllows:
Chambermaids are normally invisible. I wish I had been invisible that day last month. My hands are beginning to work, so I can write most of it down.

The day started out as usual. Got to work at the hotel for 7:00. Had a cup of tea, got changed into our black & white uniforms, and stocked our trolleys. All the while chatting with the others about what we did last night – clubbing, television, kids, husbands and boyfriends. It was pretty relaxed, as the weekends are not as busy as the weekdays.

We are a small group of people of different ages and backgrounds who find the hours convenient, even if the pay is not too good. Some are local students doing a little summer work and others are foreign students trying to make enough money to survive and continue their studies. A couple of people are single mothers, a few are successful asylum seekers, and me.

I’m a artist a couple of years out of art school trying to make enough money to pay for the studio and room rents, food and painting supplies. This job pays just about enough to meet my money needs (if I am careful) and it allows me time in the afternoon and evening to do my painting. I’m pretty good, and have had two group and one solo shows where I sold pretty well. I still need to work hard to establish my name and get a gallery to represent me. Until that happens, being a chambermaid where I could improve my earnings by tips seemed ideal.
...................
I would like comments on style, characterisation, plot. Anyone available and willing to help?

Stephen

 

[LadyCibelle]

I am about to be a first time submitter (I hope) to literotica. I have a "final" draft ready.
The story concerns a chambermaid who is imprisoned in a hotel room and abused.

The intro. starts as folllows:
Chambermaids are normally invisible. I wish I had been invisible that day last month. My hands are beginning to work, so I can write most of it down.

The day started out as usual. Got to work at the hotel for 7:00. Had a cup of tea, got changed into our black & white uniforms, and stocked our trolleys. All the while chatting with the others about what we did last night – clubbing, television, kids, husbands and boyfriends. It was pretty relaxed, as the weekends are not as busy as the weekdays.

We are a small group of people of different ages and backgrounds who find the hours convenient, even if the pay is not too good. Some are local students doing a little summer work and others are foreign students trying to make enough money to survive and continue their studies. A couple of people are single mothers, a few are successful asylum seekers, and me.

I’m a artist a couple of years out of art school trying to make enough money to pay for the studio and room rents, food and painting supplies. This job pays just about enough to meet my money needs (if I am careful) and it allows me time in the afternoon and evening to do my painting. I’m pretty good, and have had two group and one solo shows where I sold pretty well. I still need to work hard to establish my name and get a gallery to represent me. Until that happens, being a chambermaid where I could improve my earnings by tips seemed ideal.
...................
I would like comments on style, characterisation, plot. Anyone available and willing to help?

Stephen

If you're in no rush to have it edited, I could take a shot at it.
The thing is, my plate is already pretty full, even after my month-long hiatus from editing, and I wouldn't be able to take a look at it before, at least, two weeks.

If it suits you, send me your story to LadyCibelle and I'll get on it as soon as I can.