Virtual Christmas Presents/Pressies

[Guest]

Reading many of the posts about Christmas and feeling the way I do about certain persons on the AH, I so wish I could give real presents to many of you. I’m going to list some “virtual” gifts. I wonder if anyone wants to join in. Here’s what I’ll put under the AH tree (virtual but live). I’m sure I’m leaving someone out, I’ll post again when memory reloads. - Perdita

ella (shereads): A luxurious handmade notebook from Venice so that she will begin writing. The cover will be brilliantly marbleized vellum as only found in Venezia. May also include a Venetian glass pen.

LorriLove: what else but an extra-large neon purple vibrating dildo with life-long batteries and velvet harness.

Maths: one of those European inflatable sheep, natch (garderobes are too expensive, even in cyberspace).

Wills: homemade tamales and an introduction to my agent after I find him or her.

Pops: a session with perdita and her big sister.

Cake Bloke and Lin: a nanny for a year, and an introduction to my agent after I find him or her.

Mack: my favorite Chanel red lipstick for when she smiles big for a new ‘real’ AV.

Ogg: a photo of me dressed like a Venetian lady.

Raphy: his own centerfold in the women’s mag. of his choice, and an introduction to my agent after I find him or her.

Whisper: a copy of that mag.

Svenska: webcams for her and Hubby.

Lauren: a very virtual Catholic schoolgirl, and an introduction to my agent after I find him or her.

Loulou: a lifetime supply of Christmas crackers, and an introduction to my agent after I find him or her.

S&P: her very own forum.

Gauche: a photo of me in a matron’s uniform with a badge that reads Señora Mexchick.

Mlle: a ticket to San Francisco, or to the opening of La Fenice (with me of course; we’ll arrive in a gondola).

The Earl: The complete BtVS DVD collection.

Quasi: a certificate that authenticates him as the mayor (or chief of police) of Snippetsville.

Rumply: the complete musical collection of his choice from the 60’s (eeow!)

Phildo: a dozen ripe tuñas.

Mhari: an elegant frame for her doctoral certificate and a bottle of Champagne (the real thing, from France).

 

[A7inchPhildo]

That is so nice perdita thanks. Mmm!

By the way I did find a place that sells them about 40 minutes from my house. I am going to try them.

Merry Cristmas to you too. I only wish I would have bought that Vulva bag so you could hang it over your bed.

Oh, this is virtual! Here I got you a vulva bag. I hope you like it?


Looking over the list. I like my gift thank you very much.

 

[shereads]

Thank you, Perdita. It's beautiful. I'll doodle in it.



I'm afraid that decades as a copywriter have made me allergic to submitting anything I've written for public review. I confine the writing side to role-play, where two of us can share the blame for a failed story thread.

Besides, if I spent more time writing, when would I read all of you lovelies?

Nevertheless, a gorgeous gift. I promise quality doodles.

 

[Guest]

Oh, this is virtual! Here I got you a vulva bag. I hope you like it?

Ooh, muchas gracias, Señor. It's over my bed right now. Lovely plump puss in velvets and silks.

Perdita

 

[oggbashan]

Perdita, dear Lady, thank you for the present.

I would have preferred a picture of you undressed as a Venetian lady but your other admirers might have become jealous.

I have been to my local gift shoppe and bought you a shoulder bag which is a half-scale pink plastic replica of a naked female torso with erect nipples. There is a pouch for the purse behind the left breast and the mobile phone fits behind the right breast.

It comes with a compact bright pink umbrella (This is England and it does rain). It is located where the rectal passage would be. When the umbrella is unfolded it is shaped like a breast pointing towards the sky.

A tasteful present, isn't it? It is supplied with accessories such as the vibrator which is kept in the anatomically appropriate place for such a device. Batteries (and three sets of spares) are included for immediate use.

iFelices Pascuas!

Og

 

[TheEarl]

Thanks Pear. I'm just going to sit in a darkened room and watch them all, one after the other .

My virtual present to you: 3 plane tickets. San Francisco - London Heathrow. London Heathrow - Bristol. Bristol - Manchester. What you do with them is up to you .

The Earl

 

[raphy]

Awww... cara'dita, you are too kind. Grazie, molto grazie...

 

[Guest]

Thank you, Perdita! That is very sweet of you. I'll be able to groan myself silly as I read all of the crap cracker jokes, while wearing a daft hat and playing with the little plastic toys. The introduction to your agent would also be greatly appreciated.

Here's my gift to you, in return: Pacific Digital MemoryFrame. You'll be able to play a constant slideshow of your favourite photos.

Loulou

 

[Guest]

This is my Christmas present to you all. Lorri made me think of including the song, click on the link...

Merry Christmas to my friends at Lit

Lou

 

[raphy]

Aaaaaah, I love that song. I actually covered it not two nights ago with a band, playing guest guitar for them.

 

[Guest]

I am soooooo touched by these replies. I wasn't expecting this, I thought you'd give gifts to everyone else!

Ogg, you moved me and made me grin big. I can't do undressed except for one bloke, but I'll switch my pic for you to a Venetian courtesan . Be on the lookout in your shop for a lady with a pink umbrella and matching chopines, eh?

Earl, sweets, see you in the year then. (Manchester? no offense to anyone but why would I go there? )

Lou, you made me larf, and the frame was so thoughtful. I think I'll put Santa Gollum in it . Love the song, must get the CD now.

Merry Christmas all. God bless us, everyone.

edit: Earl, dear, best of all - you didn't include the return tickets .

 

[whispering_surrender]

'Dita,

Thank you so much for the gift.

And since, as it came out in another thread, I'll have the real thing soon, for my Christmas gift to the ladies, you each get a subscription to it! *wink*

For the men, well....that will take some more thought.....

Whisper

 

[raphy]

'Dita,

Thank you so much for the gift.

And since, as it came out in another thread, I'll have the real thing soon, for my Christmas gift to the ladies, you each get a subscription to it! *wink*

For the men, well....that will take some more thought.....

Whisper

Or just my digital camera...

 

[Guest]

For the men, well....that will take some more thought.....

Finished thinking, Whisp? I would think that's a no-brainer, or no boner (ah ha ha, couldn't help it).

Perdita

 

[whispering_surrender]

Finished thinking, Whisp? I would think that's a no-brainer, or no boner (ah ha ha, couldn't help it).

Perdita

Good god, are you suggesting pic of me? *blush*

Whisp

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Reading many of the posts about Christmas and feeling the way I do about certain persons on the AH, I so wish I could give real presents to many of you. I’m going to list some “virtual” gifts. I wonder if anyone wants to join in. Here’s what I’ll put under the AH tree (virtual but live). I’m sure I’m leaving someone out, I’ll post again when memory reloads. - Perdita

Lauren: a very virtual Catholic schoolgirl, and an introduction to my agent after I find him or her.

Aww... Thank you so much, Perdidita. That's exactly what I wanted. (Well, that and the Baby Jesus Butt Plug)

And to you, my virtual present will be plane ticket, San-Francisco--Venice, but on the condition that you spend a week at Florence (my personal Venezia) and that you include a visit to Vivoli, where you can have all the ice cream you want, on me.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Virtual Christmas Presents/Pressies

... the Baby Jesus Butt Plug

One B.J. Butt Plug for your stocking (hang it securely).

Must start planning itinerary: England and Italy (Manchester?!)

Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by perdita Maths: one of those European inflatable sheep, natch (garderobes are too expensive, even in cyberspace).

Dear Perdita,
What a lovely thought! Thank you. It would make a lovely lawn ornament and give Walter Beagle something to piss on.
MG
Ps. The garderobe wouldn't have worked, anyway. There are some very serious CC and Rs around here, and I don't think an attached outdoor toilet chute would be acceptable.

 

[Mhari]

Wow, thanks, Perdita! I just hope I get something to put inside the frame...

For you, I give a long, sensuous (or maybe sensual?) massage from the sexy fella of your choice!

 

[Wills]

Perdita,

What a wonderful and generous thought.

For you I give my yesterday experience, see 'spirit of Xmas' thread, I only wish you could have been there to share it with us.

Will's (& Ines)

 

[McKenna]

.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

For you Dita

I wish to send a virtual copy of Florence King's book With Charity Toward None. Subtitled a fond look at misanthropy. After reading it you will know for sure you are neither cynical, nor jaded and will realize just how wonderful you really are.

Merry X-mas!

-Colly

 

[Guest]

Colly, thank you for the truly lovely thoughtgul gift. You are obviously one of the fine persons I could not recall when I posted this thread. So I'll take this opportunity.

I find I cannot be silly or frivolous with you (at the moment anyway), so if 'twere possible I would give you complete rest and peace of mind for at least one hour per day, and some little thing a few times a day that would make you smile.

paz y felicidad,

Perdita

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Colly, thank you for the truly lovely thoughtgul gift. You are obviously one of the fine persons I could not recall when I posted this thread. So I'll take this opportunity.

I find I cannot be silly or frivolous with you (at the moment anyway), so if 'twere possible I would give you complete rest and peace of mind for at least one hour per day, and some little thing a few times a day that would make you smile.

paz y felicidad,

Perdita

I cannot think of a more lovely gift.

*HUGS*

Feliz Navidad (hope I spelled that right )

 

[BardsLady]

A gift for everyone: If they want it.

My virtual gift to you all:

A moonlit walk along the white sands of the Spanish Mediteranian while listening to the water dance it's music along the shoreline.
A warm fire by the beach where succulant crab and steamed oysters await your tastebuds.
The Full Moon in a starlit sky and your favorite guitar music *mine is flamenco* comming from a guitarist sitting on the other side of the fire.

Enjoy the Holidays,