virgin.

[Hooteers]

so basically, yes i am a virgin.
and i am now in a serious relationship, and my guy wants us to have sex but i'm scared, well more worried or nervous.
I don't know what to do, i dont want to be rubbish, he is experienced and i want to be able to satisfy him.
But i also dont have very much confidence sexually, any advice on how i can overcome this?

 

[_Virginia_]

If this is a serious relationship, I assume he knows you're a virgin? Talk to him about it - if he cares about you at all he will understand that you're justifiably nervous.

 

[gagginforit]

Best thing you can do is be responsive and enthusiastic. You don't have to be good at it right away. Sex is just like anything else, you need practice to be good at it, but a lot of it will come naturally.

 

[NippleMuncher]

1 - He needs to know you're a virgin.
2 - He needs to respect your trepidation and be willing to stop upon your command.
3 - He needs to be sensitive to your concerns and go slow. As a matter of fact it would be best if YOU take control when it comes time for intercourse so that YOU can go at your own pace and allow him to enter you when YOU are ready.
4 - If he's unwilling to accommodate your needs at this time, save yourself for someone who cares more about you and less about getting laid.
5 - Protection - have condoms on hand and use them.
6 - Lubricant - whatever works for you, as long as it's latex safe - don't want any condom issues. You may not need it, but it's better to be prepared than to be in pain and suffer.

This is your first experience, you DO NOT have to do anything you don't want to. You DO NOT have to continue if you're uncomfortable, in pain, or don't want to.

Do try to relax and enjoy the experience. The more relaxed you are, the easier everything will go. Enjoy, and good luck.

 

[Hamnder2020]

And don't worry about it. Just go with the flow. It's a natural thing. Don't worry about over thinking it.

And it gets better with practice.

He does need to know that you're a virgin and he definitely need to be patient.

And communication is key. If something isn't good for you let him know. We aren't mind readers and we want to be better lovers too so if you can tell him how to make it better for you do that. And also tell him what you want to try and what you like.

Communication is super important!

 

[BertrandRussell]

... i want to be able to satisfy him...

Why are you not noting a similar goal for pleasing yourself?

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

1 - He needs to know you're a virgin.
2 - He needs to respect your trepidation and be willing to stop upon your command.
3 - He needs to be sensitive to your concerns and go slow. As a matter of fact it would be best if YOU take control when it comes time for intercourse so that YOU can go at your own pace and allow him to enter you when YOU are ready.
4 - If he's unwilling to accommodate your needs at this time, save yourself for someone who cares more about you and less about getting laid.
5 - Protection - have condoms on hand and use them.
6 - Lubricant - whatever works for you, as long as it's latex safe - don't want any condom issues. You may not need it, but it's better to be prepared than to be in pain and suffer.

This is your first experience, you DO NOT have to do anything you don't want to. You DO NOT have to continue if you're uncomfortable, in pain, or don't want to.

Do try to relax and enjoy the experience. The more relaxed you are, the easier everything will go. Enjoy, and good luck.

What NippleMuncher said. I just asked my wife about her first time and here is what she said. "For about 30 seconds I knew I never wanted to do that ever again. It hurt pretty bad. Then it got better."

She said the second time was a couple of months later. Mostly about time and opportunity and while she said the sex was not that great there was no pain.

So for the second time wait a while and evaluate your feelings and needs. If your hymen was torn you need some time to heal.

Lastly from me.. Use protection, protection, protection. If I did not say that enough use PROTECTION. You really do not want want to get preggers from your first time.

Try to enjoy the closeness.

Mike

 

[CWatson]

Sex is a learned skill, just like walking, writing, reading, speaking, etc. Nobody comes out of the womb already knowing how to please their partner. If your boyfriend expects you to, tell him he's an idiot.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

so basically, yes i am a virgin.
and i am now in a serious relationship, and my guy wants us to have sex but i'm scared, well more worried or nervous.
I don't know what to do, i dont want to be rubbish, he is experienced and i want to be able to satisfy him.
But i also dont have very much confidence sexually, any advice on how i can overcome this?

This is your first time, enjoy it, because it is something you will never repeat. Don't worry about your partner, he will be fine.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Sex is a learned skill, just like walking, writing, reading, speaking, etc. Nobody comes out of the womb already knowing how to please their partner.

Speak for yourself, big boy!

My first time was with a woman with some experience. She said that she couldn't believe it was my first time. Whether that was for my benefit or not, I'll never know. What I can tell you is that I was well aware of the female anatomy and had a darned good idea what I was supposed to be doing. My momma didn't raise no dummy!

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

Speak for yourself, big boy!

My first time was with a woman with some experience. She said that she couldn't believe it was my first time. Whether that was for my benefit or not, I'll never know. What I can tell you is that I was well aware of the female anatomy and had a darned good idea what I was supposed to be doing. My momma didn't raise no dummy!

It's a lot different for a woman. There is a lot of emotion involved, a little insecurity, and sometimes even a little scared. For a man, every time is a lot like the first time, but for a woman, it can be a life changing experience. A woman's first time should be one of her most cherished memories.

 

[Noor]

Fool around and make out until you feel more comfortable. Have found, find out what turns him on, and what turns you on before you jump to intercourse. I like to wait until I can't stand not having sex with a new lover, at that point my mind and body is totally ready.

You can learn the general principles of sex but for truly mind blowing sex everyone is different, you have to pay attention and explore, there is also timing, foreplay, build up which can make a big difference. If a person is good with their hands/mouth/tongue it can make sex a lot more complex and exciting.

Most any guy can fuck, and most women can let it happen, that part alone by itself is boring, at least for most women. The scary, possibly painful, could get pregnant or STDs part is mere mechanics, its what you do with it all, the whole mind, body and soul that makes sex amazing. Women also don't need intercourse to have great sex.

 

[SweetErika]

so basically, yes i am a virgin.
and i am now in a serious relationship, and my guy wants us to have sex but i'm scared, well more worried or nervous.
I don't know what to do, i dont want to be rubbish, he is experienced and i want to be able to satisfy him.
But i also dont have very much confidence sexually, any advice on how i can overcome this?

Do YOU really want to have sex at this point? You said your bf does, but what about you? Do you feel totally ready physically, mentally and emotionally? If not, wait until you are; if your guy's the right one for you at this point, he'll wait until you're ready.

If you are indeed ready, NippleMuncher in particular gave you very good advice. You can also look through The Blank Manual sticky for advice on a variety of topics, including your first time (that's in Post #4 of the thread).

 

[Patchouli]

1 - He needs to know you're a virgin.
2 - He needs to respect your trepidation and be willing to stop upon your command.
3 - He needs to be sensitive to your concerns and go slow. As a matter of fact it would be best if YOU take control when it comes time for intercourse so that YOU can go at your own pace and allow him to enter you when YOU are ready.
4 - If he's unwilling to accommodate your needs at this time, save yourself for someone who cares more about you and less about getting laid.
5 - Protection - have condoms on hand and use them.
6 - Lubricant - whatever works for you, as long as it's latex safe - don't want any condom issues. You may not need it, but it's better to be prepared than to be in pain and suffer.

This is your first experience, you DO NOT have to do anything you don't want to. You DO NOT have to continue if you're uncomfortable, in pain, or don't want to.

Do try to relax and enjoy the experience. The more relaxed you are, the easier everything will go. Enjoy, and good luck.

this is some good advice. it's exactly what i would say to you.

also...

foreplay. and lots of it.

 

[laceNlthrgrrl]

Define sex. Seriously!!!!

There's so much that can be done without vaginal penetration, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with playing all of the possibilities out first, if you're not comfortable. Mutual masturbation is hot, masturbating each other is fun. Oral is awesome, and anal can be a reasonable substitute with a LOT of patience (and a hella lot more lube).

Don't get me wrong, I love fucking, but it's not the only game in town by a long shot. The surest, funnest way to get me off is oral with very busy fingers. I know my guy likes blowjobs more than vagsex, too. (Yes, I'm that good. LOL)

If you're ready and willing, though, lobby for major foreplay til you're wet and ready, make sure he has protection, and take it nice and slow. It might or might not hurt at first. Have a safeword for "slow down" and "stop" and "get the hell out of my body now". Just in case. Most of the time, if it hurts, it's a quick hurt. If he just stops moving and lets you get adjusted (and keeps you stimulated with kissing or nipple play or touching) you can keep going after you catch your breath.

Don't expect fireworks and all that romantic stuff the first time. Really, it's just something to get past so you can have a next time. Oh, and if you both cum first from other ways, so you have a little patience, it's a good thing. You on top so you can pace yourself...excellent!

Enjoy each other!

 

[sunny55235]

I would also recommend you being on top to start off with, that way you're completely in control of how fast and deep he goes until you're comfortable enough to switch it up. Also try to relax, it's not going to go as smoothly if you're tense.

And don't worry about being rubbish - he'll appreciate the fact that you're having sex at all!

 

[MissBehavin278]

Make Double and Triple Sure

As a lot of people have already said, your first time should be very special and absolutely right. I made that mistake, and it's something you can't really take back. I was so ashamed and regretted it immediately, which caused him to freak out and break up with me (he was a reeeaaal winner lemme tell ya). So anyways, if he really is that special to you, and you to him, he'll make sure you're as comfortable as possible and will take it at your pace. So, if you're sure you're ready, and you're sure he's the right one for your first time, just try to relax as much as possible and enjoy yourself! And let us know how it goes, if you're so inclined.