views of submission

[justgem]

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[Red Menace]

My own submission is much like yours, justgem. I yield control - as much as I'm able to anyway. I have to admit, there's quite a few things I still have resistance on - to my chosen Dom and no other. He has earned the right, in my eyes, to take authority in certain aspects of my life and I yield to His will.

Our relationship does not include degredation but light humiliation definitely plays a part in it. Funny though... things I consider humiliating, He doesn't. Probably because He isn't the one doing them. Oh well. I trust that whatever He has me do, He does because it brings Him pleasure and I'm willing to push through my issues of insecurity and self-image to submit to Him.

In public, there are little things I do that might seem odd if someone were to really watch closely, but I know He's not going to make me do something overtly submissive outside of a BDSM friendly context.

 

[NemoAlia]

...and 'cause you know I can't resist upping my own post count for the sake of others' convenience...

Here are some links to past threads about submission:

How To Find A Dominant begun by cymbidia on 03-03-2002
Submission does not mean losing myself.... begun by Merelan on 03-21-2002
Too experienced begun by cymbidia on 03-16-2002
"Subbies" begun by James Blandings on 03-19-2002
What makes a good sub begun by Richard49 on 03-20-2002
Subs What Do You Expect When Meeting a New Dom/me? begun by cellis on 04-25-2002
What to do when a potential master is too pushy? begun by wetnhorny_slave on 04-28-2002
Attention: All subs begun by fallon2 on 03-30-2002
"Sub" isn't something to be ashamed of... begun by cymbidia on 05-06-2002
TPE Slaves Vs Subs... begun by cellis on 05-11-2002
Masters-and the need to CONTROL... begun by Artful's dream on 06-09-2002
It seems as though begun by MissTaken on 06-23-2002
making submissives melt begun by cymbidia on 5-22-2002

 

[SexyChele]

For me, submission is all about giving control to another person. However, that control is not given lightly, nor is it given without getting to know the other person very well.

If I respect and admire my Dominant, and he me, then how can anything be "degrading"? I suppose we might roleplay a scene based on it, but I don't think there would be any "real" degradation.

Part of that is because I do not get off on it. I don't get off on humiliation, either, unless it is within the context of a well though out scene or role play.

I am not into anything public, period. However, I will not disrepect, embarass, or make my Dominant appear foolish in a public setting. Whatever occurs within a public setting would be something discussed between us first. Knowing me, I would find little things, things that possibly only he would know are signs of my submission to him in public.


Nemo - thank you so much for doing all the research needed to go back and refer people to pertinent threads to read! I've seen you do this before, but I just wanted to comment on what a wonderful idea it is!

 

[artful]

Chele

Whatever occurs within a public setting would be something discussed between us first. Knowing me, I would find little things, things that possibly only he would know are signs of my submission to him in public.

Chele,...I just wanted to add that I agree with the part of your quote I <snipped> *wholeheartedly*.

Though I have *surprised* subs in public,...I had REASON to believe THEY would not only NOT mind it,...but actually gain PLEASURE from it.

So far,...I have not had a problem with public play,...but it's those LITTLE things, that no one else KNOWS, that is a huge turn on for me also. Thanks for bringing it out in your post.

 

[cellis]

I am submissive most of the time. I cannot remember when I have not been this way most of the time. I say most of the time because there is that little dominate streak that I have often talked about.

Submission is not something that is learned. It is a state of being and need that many of us share, male and female alike. And because we are different we all have different needs.

BDSM as a lifestyle covers a spectrum from mild to extreme with most of us falling somewhere in the middle. It extends from those who just seek to play to those who practise the lifestyle 24/7. There is no set formula for the lifestyle.

And just as BDSM covers a spectrum so do submissives, from the sensual onward... One cannot classify all submissives into any one category, because there is not one. We are all diverse in our submission and lifestyle.

I go into all of this because stgeorge raises some questions about needs and I just wanted to point out that if you are on the outside looking it our lifestyle looks a little strange or harsh or deviant. The fact is that there are many kinks here... and perhaps a more open mind might be less prone to make judgements about who we are and what are needs are.

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Master

[Though I have *surprised* subs in public,...I had REASON to believe THEY would not only NOT mind it,...but actually gain PLEASURE from it.

_________________
<ahem> like a certain little "incident" that happened recently at a very public Greyhound bus station baby? (Master spanked me ") and yes it was quite *PLEASURABLE* indeed !!

back to the thread topic ...

I feel I have been submissive all my life.
I am a sensitive ,emotional,loving ,passionate and intense person.
Geez THAT was a mouthful!! All true nonetheless..
I feel I have been seeking all my life to serve in one way or another.. I am a mother to 4 beautiful children and I can and have displayed aspects of my submissiveness with them also ..
I also feel I have been seeking and serving one man to please who can truly "complete' me as a person.
I have had alot of friends and lovers in my past but no love that ever really 'enhanced ' me until now.I have VERY STRONG dependency issues and through submission I can FEEL that it is o.k. to feel that way ,to need someone else to take the "Control"

I love to "give of myself ,period. As I become more and more aware of the *me* within,I feel more "comfortable' with who I really am .I am a bit playful also .Artful calls it 'pixie-like playfulness but it's a REAL part of me.and my sense of humor has helped ease and "hide' the pain of things from my past ..
I am starting to feel a sense of pride for how far I have come in such a short time.. my submissiveness is helping me to get in contact with my sexuality.
I feel I am sensitive to My Master's needs as well as my own.
Because I love Him so very much ,I am willing to change locations to be closer to Him ,easier to SERVE..
I am learning to yield more everyday to His will ,and as He says ,it DOES get better ,it is a slow process,the TRUST, because of my abusive past,however I thoroughly expect Master WILL earn it all, He is a very patient loving ,man...
I am a *devoted* submissive slave ,only Artful GETS me and only Artful HAS me ,my service and love to Him is limiltless .. My submissiveness truly *frees* me to be who I really am ..

 

[Ricckk]

justgem:

I could not agree with you more. To many of us dominants (and submissives), it is more about the D/s "circle" of love than about degradation. Having control or giving control has nothing to do with force.

 

[justgem]

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[SexyChele]

Re: Chele

So far,...I have not had a problem with public play,...but it's those LITTLE things, that no one else KNOWS, that is a huge turn on for me also. Thanks for bringing it out in your post.

Thank you, Art. I really believe it is those "little things" that truly cement a bond between Dom and sub. As well, I know that, for me, if a Dom surprises me by doing just little things, it keeps an air of anticipation and excitement. I never know exactly when he's going to choose to do something that has meaning only for the two of use. And, being human, I would expect Dom/mes feel the same!

 

[~Dream~]

re;Chele

Yes ,I agree ,it is the 'little things that I also value the most like when He surprises me by making a really beautiful encouraging post about me ,or when He allows me to see Him on His web cam ,or when He writes me beautiful poems,those types of "rewards make my submission to Him all that more meaningful ,to ME..

 

[justgem]

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[P. B. Walker]

Good luck in quiting justgem. I can attest to how hard it is. I never smoked, but I did have a nicotine habit. Dirty, dirty habit. I tried quitting for years... at least 10 or 12 separate attempts. After 16 years I finally quit. I even tried all the "stop smoking aids"... the patch, the gum, etc. I finally got a prescription for Zyban and forked out the money to buy it (few health insurance companies will pay for this... which is total BS if you ask me, but don't get me started on that topic... I could go on and on). I took it for about 21 or 22 days and then quit. It was so natural. I kept taking it for about 30 days. Haven't gone back yet. Woo hoo..

I did it on my own, but it is great when you have someone there helping you and encouraging you. And remember... you won't truely quit until you want to quit. Again, best of luck... you can do it.

PBW

 

[cellis]

justgem I too want to add my support. I quit smoking in March and I had been smoking for the better part of 30 years... 2 packs or more a day...

It is not easy.. the best advice I can give you is to quit buying them. It is hard... and I had to quit going to the local store for a long time because that was where I bought my cigarettes...

I feel so much better since I quit and now I am working on the weight issue....

Good Luck!

 

[Grvdigger]

I know this is off subject from the thread, but I wanted A/all to know something. First, I did not know that she (gem) had shared this with A/all of you. Second, I want A/all to know how proud I am of her. she has been struggeling with this for sometime, and do to a number of things going on I left it alone till now. She cut the number of them in half in one day. I was not expecting her to do it, not that I did not think she could not but I know how they have a hold on a person. When she signed on early and told Me, My heart swelled with pride. I am not posting this to blow her or My Own trumpets but I want A/all to know how very proud I am of her and know of My love for her also. Thank you to the ones for posting their support. Against popular opinion out there, this is a very good group.

gem.....I know you will overcome this, and you know your heart is Mine.

 

[justgem]

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[justgem]

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[P. B. Walker]

Re: E/everyone: plz just call me gem... U/u know... "just" gem

P. B. Walker; im gonna be nosey here...how much does Zyban cost? (just in case)

gem

http://www.order-zyban-online.com/

According to this site it's roughly $110 per 30 day supply. You take 2/day. I bought 120 pills at first. I think I had like 20 pills left over when I finally quit taking them. The most you can buy at once is 120 pills. You'll probably find that your pharmacy charges about the same as this website. Mine did. It should be very easy to get a prescription from your doctor. And your health insurnace just might cover the cost or some of the cost.

Depending on how much you smoke, you may already spend this amount of money on cigs anyway. So it's really not like you are spending anymore money.

Good luck. You can do it.

PBW

 

[cellis]

Well if you want to you can ask your physician for a prescription for Wellbuterin(sic). It is an anti depressant and is the same thing as the zyban and costs about $30. a month, maybe a little more. Insurance will then pay for it. I used it and am still taking it because of it's anti anxiety properties as well. I also like the fact that it is not habit forming and does not seem to have any major adverse effects.

I know we have totally hi jacked this thread... I'm sorry!

 

[Ricckk]

Re: more than sexual

today was a HARD day. y? because i submitted.

mine and my Grvs relationship includes so much more than the sexual D/s aspects. today He started to help me address something that ive been wanting to address but continually put off... smoking.

That is a part of true D/s. And good for you!!!

 

[justgem]

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[Moyds_jewel]

gem..here's a thought...

(SNIP from justgem)
i very much appreciate the fact that i was able to
submit on this issue....just last week i smoked a pack
and 3/4 a day. i owe much to my Dominant.
_________________________________________

You might try embracing the craving for a cigarette rather than fighting it...much as we are taught as submissives to embrace the experience our Dom/me gives us. Embracing the craving...feeling it permeate you...ride it, endure it and REFUSE it because your Dom requires it of you just MIGHT allow you access to subspace...

I'm not sure this will work, gem, but WOW! if it does...the ultimate victory wouldn't you say?

Best of luck in your efforts to quit smoking!