Very angry and hurt

[sortacurious]

Shit!

I hate it when that happens....the above unregistered was me.

 

[SexyAmber]

oh

I am so sorry and you did the right thing, she deserves to be locked up. You are a good father and the boys are so fortunate to have you. If you need anything just ask.

 

[beth-n-mike]

i have no idea what to say , i feel like my apology will sound so hollow, the anger and pain youre going through is enormous, i wish the best for you and the kids. please take care. and get help if needed

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((heart: ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[JennyOmanHill]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Knight))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Not sure what to say except repeat what others already have told you. I am so sorry. Your sons are fortunate to have you in their lives, and I hope you all find peace and healing as quickly as possible.

 

[baby blue]

As with everyone else...I am so sorry that this has happened to your family. I work with young children every day, they are VERY impressionable. Give your boys your unconditional love and ya'll will get through this!

 

[1sexylady]

OMG....Mike I am sooooo sorry.....

Everyone has been helpful with their responses but I think Bug Eyed Monster and SexyChele are correct...You have to press charges because if this goes unpunished she will do this to someone else's kids... I adopted three children and although they were not abused like this they all have problems today because of what their natural parents did to them.....When your head is together read again and get help for them and you and your ex wife... As far as the Babysitter I would have police look into her because this child of hers leaned this behavior from somewhere... I will be praying for you and your boys...

Patty.....

 

[knightstalker]

First thing I would like to say is I spent the day with my boys and Ex today as a family and they are ok well as ok as can be expected ..The 4 year old is fine and doesn't seem to be to bothered by this now but my 9 year old is going to have a tuff time with this ...He is hurt in feelings also because he thought she was his friend ..I asked him if this has happened before and he swore it was the first time she did this to them ...I asked him if she ever touched them in a wrong way and he got embarresed and said no way dad ..I believe him beacause the kid is incapable of lying....My ex feels real shitty that she didn't notice this she said she went to bed the night it happened and the boys were already in bed so she never had to put on their p.j's and of course they never said a word to her because those two stick together...We talked to the police this afternoon and they could not tell uss much at this time other than we can also press charges against the mother I am all for it but she is a good friend of the family and swears she had no idea that it was going on ..Anyway I still want to and will do it myself if the ex won't ..

I will try to keep you all informed on this later when i know more ..Ok now I cannot tell all of you what your words have meant to me and how much it has helped get me through my day today ..You are all considered my friends and I will be there for any of you if ever you need me please do not hesitate ..I feel as if I have family here and my heart was filled with joy today by the outpouring of support and love i recieved today I will never be able to put into words what this has made me feel ...I thank each and every one of you with all my heart for all you have done ...

I will write in this thread later or start another like I said when i know more..

 

[sortacurious]

I'm so happy you all spent the day together. I'm sure it meant so very much to your boys. Being surrounded by the people that love them the most is so important!

I'm also really glad to hear you were able to ask some more questions today. You are such an awesome dad! I hope their mother will not carry too much guilt for not discovering it immediately. I'm just thankful that you were able to quickly find out after the first time, so that she won't ever get the opportunity to hurt them again. Your 9 yr old is right to feel betrayed, he trusted this person and she not only abused them but that trust as well.

Please let me know if you would like any of the info. I have. I'd be more than happy to get it to you.
Take Care, Sweetie!

 

[jimmojr]

I feel like anything I will say would be feeble so I will just say that you are a strong man to handle the situation the way you did and you should be comended. There is much love in this world and your boys are lucky to haev you and that love!

As others have said, if there is anything needed just let us all know!

Jimmojr

 

[tigerjen]

This hit me like a ton of bricks!

It's ridiculous how today its hard to find a good capable
babysitter out there..........no wonder many parents
have trouble finding one, and sometimes take them to
R rated movies because they couldn't find a sitter to
watch the kids......

okay I'm off the subject here.

Seriously, I am glad that you pressed charges and
contacted the police about this matter. I really do think
that the 15-yr old learned the "burning" behavior from
someone or somewhere, or both.......and who knows
where her mother was when all that happened. The
mother is responsible for her own daughter and this
happened? Makes me madder than hell....

I babysat way back in junior high and high school, and
I was never, EVER like that........and I have friends who
I grew up with who babysat and they never did shit
like that.........a babysitter has to be responsible, loves
and cares for the kids, among other things.

My question is: has this girl babysat much before for your
boys? Just curious.....who knows how long this behavior
could have went on for.......

I hope for your sake, and esp. for your boys' sake, that
justice will be done! es and *huggies* to you and
the boys!


tigerjen

 

[TantaLiza]

The boys are on my prayer list....

 

[ShiningEyes]

Ok friends I hate to be a downer but I have to get this off my chest..I got my Boys the other day and we went swimming well I was going to put some sun block on them and asked them to take thier shirts off ..They both hesitated and I told them do it now or no swimming for them ..My 8 year old started to cry which left me confused then the other started and said they couldn't take off their shirts because I would get mad ..I told them to get rid of the shirts now and they did ..What I saw had tears coming down my face ..They were black and blue and had burns on there back from smokes and a lighter..My god the feeling i got was like noithing else I ever felt ..I told them to tell me who did this..

I knew it was not my Ex or her boyfriend because they are good people ..My oldest told me he couldn't tell me because if he did he would be killed..ok now i was seeing red and wanted to get my hands on this bastard ..I told my boys that they had to tell me and that i promised they would be ok ..It ended up being the babysitters 15 year old daughter ..That little fucking bitch is already on a teether and after going to the police and fileing child abuse charges she will be going away til she is 18..

Her mother had the nerve to ask me to not press charges but i told her since she couldn't control her daughter she was out of a job also ...How could something like this happen ..How can you be babysitting and not know this is going on what the hell am I paying her for..

I am sorry to lay this down on you all but I had to get it off my chest ..Thank you for listening and taking the time to read this ..
Take care and have a great day

Night, I'm very sorry to hear about what happened to your sons!!! That's a very hard thing for children to thro. And then to know that it was a child(in a lot of aspects) that did it herself, it's even harder!!! What you did was the right thing! She needs more than to be locked up tho. She's in need of theropy.

If there's anything you need, don't hesitate!!!! I have to very willing ears for listening and two shoulders for leaning on! Your boys are in my thoughts and I'm praying that she gets what she needs and deserves! No child should be put thru that.

 

[llee69]

KnightStalker.

This bought out feeling of rage, hate and anger, and sorrow all at once in me.

I do not have any children so I dont know if I can really know just what you are going through.

I do feel that you have done the right thing by pressing charges and firing your sitter.

No child should have to endure what has been wrought on yours.

My heart feels for you and yours

 

[lilrosie lips]

Knight.... I have no new or different words to tell you how I feel about this. I am like everyone else who posted ahead of me, angered, sickened and so sad for your boys to have to go through this. Love em like hell my friend, and see this through to the bitter end. You did right by going to the authorities. And please take the advice and make sure the boys get counseling. They are sure to have confused and mixed emotions about this and good counseling will help. But most of all your and their mom's love is what they need...so give them all you have and then some more for good measure.
(((( hugs ))))

 

[Lady_Sam]

Gods hun, as a single parent having to rely on daycare your story terrifies me, it is my deepest fear. I'm so sorry this happened to your boys.

 

[zetacon4]

When ShiningEyes told me about your situation, I nearly fell off my chair. Let me add my sympathies to all the others. I am totally outraged. And you have recieved excellent advice here from people who know what they are talking about.

Aren't we all so lucky to be part of a wonderful community?????
The amount of love and true concern gathered here is enormous!
I just had to add my feelings and well wishes too!
Real tight hugs to all of you and yours!!!

 

[hornylady]

First thing I would like to say is I spent the day with my boys and Ex today as a family and they are ok well as ok as can be expected ..The 4 year old is fine and doesn't seem to be to bothered by this now but my 9 year old is going to have a tuff time with this ...He is hurt in feelings also because he thought she was his friend ..I asked him if this has happened before and he swore it was the first time she did this to them ...I asked him if she ever touched them in a wrong way and he got embarresed and said no way dad ..I believe him beacause the kid is incapable of lying....My ex feels real shitty that she didn't notice this she said she went to bed the night it happened and the boys were already in bed so she never had to put on their p.j's and of course they never said a word to her because those two stick together...We talked to the police this afternoon and they could not tell uss much at this time other than we can also press charges against the mother I am all for it but she is a good friend of the family and swears she had no idea that it was going on ..Anyway I still want to and will do it myself if the ex won't ..

I will try to keep you all informed on this later when i know more ..Ok now I cannot tell all of you what your words have meant to me and how much it has helped get me through my day today ..You are all considered my friends and I will be there for any of you if ever you need me please do not hesitate ..I feel as if I have family here and my heart was filled with joy today by the outpouring of support and love i recieved today I will never be able to put into words what this has made me feel ...I thank each and every one of you with all my heart for all you have done ...

I will write in this thread later or start another like I said when i know more..

I just wanted to add my support and best wishes to what everyone else has said. I have three young children, ranging from 7 down to 16 months, and I don't think I'd handle it as well as you if I were in your shoes.

As regards the mother of the 15 year-old, who gives a damn whether she's a friend of the family - she had ultimate responsibility for her daughter and your sons, and she's obviously more interested in protecting her own back than in ensuring the welfare of your sons.

Wishing you all all the best

 

[Wolf_Song]

Knight it took a lot of courage and love to share all that you have herein. My sincerest compliments to your self and all whom opened their hearts and minds so wonderfully in reply.

For myself when I hear of any incidents where a child or any innocent is abused my blood boils immediately. But have learned that over time it is better to cool down as best able and do what is necessary. Which you have done magnificently in every thing with what matters most in this, your love of your children.

Every one shared great advice and your current actions of prosecuting to the fullest extent of the law are right. What happened was wrong to the boys and as well the baby sitter needs to learn a lesson. As well hopefully should she to been a victim of abuse hopefully that will be revealed and dealt with to.

Whether she is sadistically twisted or has been a victim of generational abuses which are more current than most people know. Either way she did despicably unto your boys, needs to learn the error of her ways, be corrected legally and emotionally.

I am very familiar with abuse from personal experiences as a child along with so many people that I have helped personally over the years. One of my goals in life was to become the person I wanted to talk to as a child who would be open about any thing and every thing. Even if it meant taking myself emotionally apart and putting all the pieces back together.

I have learned a lot on this lifes journey and have much more to learn and look forward to every thing. Though not currently a parent there are children that are dear in my heart from travelling much of the world. Some met in passing, others that love me as an uncle, brother, friend and they are loved thusly in return.

My first true friend passed away over a decade ago, his ex and daughter I financially helped for years until time and love brought them a wonderful daddy and husband. My friends ex became and is one of my two closest friends on this planet. Some of the best lessons I learned about children and life were from them both.

To see what it was like to be a single mother and child opened a lot of my mind and heart. Being a single mother or father is to take on both roles and huge amounts of self sacrifice in so many areas. Always I respectfully admire those whom take such responsibility and dedication doing the best they can.

I worked in remote areas in oilfield then and supported many friends and family financially. Often of the few days off I took, would go and spend with my friend and her daughter. Doing repairs on her apartment, vehicle, shopping, baby sitting, enjoying time as friends and an uncle.

When she was young the little girls hands were so small that when we went for walks all she could grip easily was my pinky finger. In time with the few times I took from work her hand grew, but still she would share a special smile and she would want to hold my pinky finger as had done when younger.

When I talked on phone with my friend, often she would become stressed with her daugher and vice versa. Then it would be hard for them to communicate or even relax with being around each other so much. So the lil girl and I would talk about things she didnt know how to say to her momma, which I would relay.

As well would explain what her mother didnt know how to say to her. All three of us learned a lot in those exchanges and earned familial love. As the saying goes " blood is thicker than water ".. but to me " love makes a family " and they are family to me as are many dear in my heart.

The lil girl showed me something to that have continued with and showed many. It is something that many know of, which I didnt learn till past my childhood years. The "pinky promise" where linking pinky fingers with a child or any one to swear secrecy. The lil girl has known from young and still knows to date that she can share any thing, every thing and that her uncle loves her very much.

She knows that I can be trusted and I know she can be trusted, which we both constantly nurture with never betraying each other in any thing. Lots of hugs shared with taking lots of time to play, talk and really open up with each other. She's not just a lil girl whom I love dearly as a niece.. shes my friend to and we share accordingly. She is twelve this year and still of now and future we can talk about any thing and do so.

Yes I have gotten long winded and perhaps off track Knight. But what I wanted to show with my own experience was that those lil boys need not only a daddy, but a friend to of now and future. Together you can achieve that with them even with shared custody where not with them each and every day. As not only they need you in such fashion, you need them to and the friendship and love with a child is something truly beautiful.

One thing you do need to know is that what happened is not fault nor failure of you and ex as parents. You do the best you can each new day and your boys love you for it. Just take some extra time with them together and individually as they and you have much healing with understanding to go through together. Already you and your ex took some time with a family day and I truly commend you and her in that as it was needed and the right thing to do.

Again my sincerest and hearted compliments to you in opening up in this thread. As said earlier, that took a lot of courage with love, which myself and all others truly respect and admire you in doing so. Your doing right by every one in how you have been conducting your actions and words, which shows a huge amount of character, honor, wisdom, courtesy and most of all heart.

Your a good man and a great father Mike, hearts blessings to you, your boys, ex and all those dear in your lives

 

[venda]

This is one of a parents worst fears.

Man, I can only say that you handled the situation a hell of a lot better than I think I could have.

Just make sure your boys know that you love them and that this was not their fault. And reassure them that they did the best thing by telling you.

Big bear hug to them both.