Valentine's Story Support Thread. You can join this list by writing.

[oggbashan]

The first submission date for the Valentine's Story Contest is almost here.

You can join the honoured list of AH competitors by writing a story or two for the contest. The AH has an enviable record of winning or being placed in these contests thus justifying the name of this forum.

Then there is the highly coveted last place currently held by Kassiana from the last contest. Can anyone deprive Kassiana of that title? I'll be attempting that as usual.

The rules for the main contest are on a sticky at the top of the AH. I will post the rules for the last place contest later in this thread.

Get writing. I have made three false starts already. I hope to have a story submitted by the end of the week.

Ready, Steady, GO! - But don't post till the contest is open and remember to put the contest message in the NOTES.

Og

 

[impressive]

I'm ready. First (and only, probably) submission is just waitin' for Thursday to roll around.

 

[English Lady]

I started writing my valentines comp entry the other day- I don't think it'll get postedthursday...but I'min again this time

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Wake up, sleepyheads! Time to fire up the sentimentality mill!

Not me. I'm writing an anti-Valentine's story this year: what happens when paper Valentines and candy just aren't enough.

I'm on an anti-sentimentality jag.

---dr.M.

 

[impressive]

Wake up, sleepyheads! Time to fire up the sentimentality mill!

Not me. I'm writing an anti-Valentine's story this year: what happens when paper Valentines and candy just aren't enough.

I'm on an anti-sentimentality jag.

---dr.M.

Just please -- NO LISTS!

 

[English Lady]

Just 'cos it's valentinesdoesn't mean it has to be sentimental.

Mine probably will be -but i'm an old romantic at heart.


Dr M i bet it'll be hot any which way you write it

 

[R. Richard]

I have been inactive since the 2004 Survivor Contest, but I will have my bid in for the coveted anchorperson award.

 

[oggbashan]

I am pleased to see that some of us are actually intending to write a story.

Although the theme is Valentine's Day there is no reason why you can't write for any category as long as the story has some relevance to the theme. Valentine Erotic Horror anyone?

Og

 

[English Lady]

well mine involves a big girl in a gym....pretty horrific for the girl in question a few times

 

[Kassiana]

I shall defend my last place title to the death!

Well, okay, maybe not to the death. To the cake.*

I'm going with an anti-Valentine's story, too, Dr. M. Bet mine's worse than yours!



*****Cake, or death?*****

 

[R. Richard]

I shall defend my last place title to the death!

Well, okay, maybe not to the death. To the cake.*

*****Cake, or death?*****

Is cake or death anything like "March or die!"?

 

[Kassiana]

Is cake or death anything like "March or die!"?

Actually, it's a bit from an Eddie Izzard comedy routine. I didn't find that out until about a month ago. It's hilarious. Check it out if you haven't already. The guy's like a much better (and very British) Robin Williams, fast, funny, good at improv, yet ties everything together at the end.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Edited- Nevermind.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Kassiana is in BIG trouble. Her tenure as the last place title holder could be very short-lived. Let's face it, what chance does she or anyone else (even Og) have against a story that contains no sex and will be in the Humor category?

Last place will be MINE!

Rumple Foreskin

 

[minsue]

Kassiana is in BIG trouble. Her tenure as the last place title holder could be very short-lived. Let's face it, what chance does she or anyone else (even Og) have against a story that contains no sex and will be in the Humor category?

Last place will be MINE!

Rumple Foreskin

Sorry, Rumply. You'll likely get a 5 from me just for having the courage to post a Valentine's story with no sex and in the humor category. Ya just can't win for losin'.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Sorry, Rumply. You'll likely get a 5 from me just for having the courage to post a Valentine's story with no sex and in the humor category. Ya just can't win for losin'.

Gloom, dispair, and agony on me.

Wait, what if I tell you it's a poor imitation of a P.G. Wodehouse story with no Jeeves or Bertie Wooster?

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Kassiana]

what if I tell you it's a poor imitation of a P.G. Wodehouse story

It'd be better if it were a poor imitation of a poor author, like Jeff Fain or Cannonball on AFF.net ... I don't know, going with a good author sounds suspiciously not last ...

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

It'd be better if it were a poor imitation of a poor author, like Jeff Fain or Cannonball on AFF.net ... I don't know, going with a good author sounds suspiciously not last ...

Inspiration!

If I do a second story, maybe it could be a take-off of a Clive Cussler potboiler.

Wait! Wait! Oh, be still my beating heart! I've got it! A parody of Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. Maybe as a chain story; although the prolific Og could handle the entire assignment in an afternoon.

Let's see, instead of being centered in Paris, we'd have it open in the Prado. And instead of the Last Supper, maybe, Goya's Naked Maja. The mind boggles.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[elfin_odalisque]

The Titans cross swords and the mortals tremble. You superstars (why don't you try Survivor - then you woulldn't have time for all this) seem to think we children of the world know what we are doing. I will be ready at 00:01 to submit - the fact that I wrote it last year and my firewall stopped me submitting is irrelevant.

Og and Rumple can go hang - I am assured of the coveted bottom place. I've got ghosts, shades of Dickens, long and tedious pages, pleas to readers, and I submit in Word - which seems to take millenia to get posted. (Has anyone got some advice?)

Anyway, Loving Wives wins nothing except vituperate abuse.

Strikes me it is really unfair that these powerful beasts should stop the little pixies from claiming bottom spot. Are you really reverse trolls in disguise?

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Sorry about the typos - I really can spell vituperative! I just can't write winners and losers.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Hiya, Elfin. Glad you're on the board and will be entering Lit's Valentine's Day Writing Contest. Snippy newcomer.

Posting-wise, most folks cut-and-paste their stories. It's faster and there's less chance of a format screw-up. However, I would suggest you submit a txt version of your story. It should be single spaced with no indentions and a hard carriage return creating a one-line break between the paragraphs.

As for your crack about Survivor, I'll have you know the battle for last place is a titanic stuggle for survival.

Good luck, or bad as the case may be.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Rumple, many thanks. Being a bit of a girly, I read the stuff about plain text, tried to put one of my stories into it and Bill Gates told me I'd lost all the formatting of word. Simple question, if I put a Word file in Plain Text and submit - what will be the result.

Nothing to do with Valentine but it might take your mind off fighting Og for Southern pole position.

I don't give in easy!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

That message is a little scary the first time around. However, what you want to do is just what the message says, eliminate all Word formatting IN A PLAIN TEXT VERSION YOU SAVE AS A SEPARATE FILE. Keep the original as is.

Take you present Word formatted copy and do unto it the things I mentioned before. Then SAVE AS a TXT ONLY file. I usually change the name slightly by adding TXT to the end of the title to make files searches faster.

Close all copies and then re-open the TXT version and see what you have.

The fomat should look something like what you're reading now. Double-check everything and make any changes needed, then re-save. This is the version you want to copy-and-paste when you submit. Be sure and click PREVIEW to make sure the formatting looks the way you intended. Once everything is squared away, click submit.

Contest stories tend to be accepted quickly. Watch for yours. The moment it shows up, double-check everything. If there's a snag, you can submit an edited version.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I'm supposed to be a virgin so I hesitate to make suggestions.

Og, if you're really serious about winning the wooden spoon, have you considered a Non-Consent Valentine's entry. It's got such possibilities. The card explodes, leaving her (Him-hell no, it's literotica) incapable of movement while seventeen twelve-foot tall hairy neanderthals sniff round the inanimate naked body...

You can take it from there. I've read and enjoyed your stuff, I even gave you a 5 at Xmas to blow your chances. Please don't troll me, I'll be your acolyte.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Rumple, Thanks a lot, I'll try what you say. If it comes back rejected, I'll haunt you forever. I'm already coaching Og in how to guarantee failure.

There's nothing you've ever posted that has not been a joy to read and erotic. Keep the faith.