Vaginal Orgasms

[jaymeyeroskie]

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[bobsgirl]

Well, this may be known as the G spot as well, but my main concern is getting my girlfriend to have and orgasm during sex. She can orgasm if she or I rub her clit during sex, but that seems to be the stopping grounds.

I just want to make sex the best I can for her, and I know she would(as would I) love to orgasm during sex. We have come close, but that is about it. We have talked about this and I really want to do anything I can.

Does anyone have any advice? What has or has not worked for you and your partner? Really, anything helps.

Thanks, I hope this is a step in the right direction.

JM

Check out the Blank Manual at the top of the HT page. Lots of good advice about lots of stuff.

And this thread has made a lot of women very happy.

 

[tanyachrs]

You may not like this, but what works for me is skinny guys. Thier pubic bones (or something) rub against mine (or something) creating clitoral stimulation (in the missionary position). Guys with a gut dont do it and I don't suppose it would work if I had a gut either.

Maybe just give her a break or a hand on the clit. How is that not having an orgasm during sex anyway? Don't apply pressure where it isn't needed.

 

[jaymeyeroskie]

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[tanyachrs]

Dude, she does orgasm during sex. When you or she rubs her clit. Please stop acting like that makes you or her a failure. Her clit is the equivalent of your penis. When you can have an orgasm without your penis being stimulated, go back and try her again.

 

[jaymeyeroskie]

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[BreeCarter]

Well, this may be known as the G spot as well, but my main concern is getting my girlfriend to have and orgasm during sex. She can orgasm if she or I rub her clit during sex, but that seems to be the stopping grounds.

I just want to make sex the best I can for her, and I know she would(as would I) love to orgasm during sex. We have come close, but that is about it. We have talked about this and I really want to do anything I can.

Does anyone have any advice? What has or has not worked for you and your partner? Really, anything helps.

Thanks, I hope this is a step in the right direction.

JM

while i'd like to say any man can do it, it'd be lie. not all men can do it, and not all women can have one. it's a situational thing. i personally am very lucky and have them damn near everytime i have sex. i found the right partner, and my body likes me. but many can't.

 

[tanyachrs]

I'm the one who's not being clear. OK, there are two things you're potentially asking. One is: how can she have an orgasm from G-spot stimulation alone? If that's the question, the answer is that your fingers will probably provide the best stimulation and there are threads here on how to do it (often with the goal of squirting).

The question I think you're really asking is: how can she have an orgasm from thrusting alone. In that case, the most likely answer is: by somehow stimulating her clit during thrusting. Yeah, there might be some women who can have purely vaginal orgasms, but they're few and far between and I bet a lot of them are, like I am, sneaking clitoral stimulation in there.

In my case, the clitoral stimulation during thrusting comes from pelvis-on-pelvis contact, what I call "bang." If you guys are both fairly thin you could see if you can produce more bang when thrusting. You can also put her on top and have her rock rather than move up and down. The rocking is essentially grinding her clit against your body. Again, I think a harder stomach on your part helps here. Another possibility would be to add one of those cock rick/vibrating clit stimulator combo toys. It goes around you and has a piece in front to hit her clit.

What I was trying to say more importantly is that making a person feel like her way of orgasming is unsatisfactory to you is kind of mean and won't lead to better sex in the long run. You may both end up feeling disastisfied and as though your sex life is flawed when there's really nothing wrong. You have a nice girl, you have nice sex with her, she has nice orgasms. Sure, try to expand your repetoire and always keeping trying to please her harder, but don't set "goals." Especially goals that she may not be physically possible of reaching. She's most likely to come, whether vaginally or not, when she's relaxed and comfortable.

 

[Mazuri]

we are trying to get to the point where she can achieve an orgasm during sex without clitoral stimulation(i.e. the g-spot from penetration).

Sexual position will help on G-spot stimulation during sex and it will take trial and error to find it. For myself, hubby stands behind me while I'm on hands/knees at the edge of the bed. Occasionally, it works in a modified missionary with my feet on his shoulders (but rarely). Again, though, you have to find what works for you and her. Have you found her G-spot with your fingers yet? Has she? Do either (or preferably both) know what it feels like once you have? Experimentation only works if you know when you've hit the jackpot

However be aware that some women still need clitoral stimulation during G-spot stimulation in order to orgasm. This doesn't mean you've done it wrong...only that she needs that extra attention.

 

[jaymeyeroskie]

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[jaymeyeroskie]

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[chris9]

Maybe (this is my personal hypothesis, not proven or anything) one has to learn to orgasm from penetration. I know I never have. When I masturbate, I concentrate only on the outside parts of me, penetration with fingers doesn't feel very good. And it took me a while to actually learn what it takes to orgasm, what moves I like, where to put my mind, what to do... So I'll probably try using a dildo more often, teaching my body to orgasm from vaginal stimulation. Not sure it will work. But since I don't know where my g-spot is (or if I have one ) it can't hurt to do a bit discovery.

 

[Mazuri]

Another thing I thought of, jaymeyeroskie, is to print out some of the threads and articles here if she will not log in or read over your shoulder concerning the percentage of women who need more than PiV sex alone (I've seen anywhere from 70%-80% listed here). I know that was a great relief to me just to know that I wasn't "defective", that there were others who needed more attention like I did, and that life isn't like smarmy smut books where a girl looks at a guy and has an orgasm.

Mainly...let her know that no matter what it takes to get her off...it's not wrong, it just IS. And that it's ok and you'll love her regardless.

 

[SweetErika]

Well, thank you for your advice. The last thing I am trying to do is make anyone feel inadequate. I have known this has been something that bothered her, because a few of her friends get off easier from "thrusting" during sex. We have talked about this, and I have told her I am willing to do whatever she wants to make sex better for her. I have not ever, in any way,shape, or form, suggested that she or I are flawed because she hasn't had an orgasm during sex purely from thrusting or hitting the g-spot.

Maybe, a question to ask is, how can I tell or help her feel better about being able to orgasm during sex with the help of clitoral stimulation?

Have her take a look at the statistics. About 70% of women don't orgasm from penetration alone. Another big chunk don't orgasm during penetration at all, maybe because they're lacking clitoral stimulation, need to concentrate more, or whatever. So, she should feel very fortunate she's getting off then, and it doesn't make a bit of difference how that happens.

Given the statistics, some of her friends are likely lying, calling their fake orgasms during sex real or don't know what an orgasm feels like - ESPECIALLY if they're younger (say under 35) and/or in newer relationships. I know that's shocking, but what are the chances she's befriended a big pocket of the very, very small percentage of women who come with penetration alone?

I agree with Chris - if it's possible, it usually takes time and practice. Read Mr. G's "Try this and report back" thread together, and pay attention to all of the people who are having trouble with it. I found that once we accomplished it through manual and I've had a couple of good orgasms before sex, it got easier to identify those feelings and know what worked for me specifically. Clitoral stimulation still helps me get there, so that may be something she can't do without, even if she can have g-spot orgasms. As I got more comfortable with my partner (we're at 8 years now), and learned my body better, it just kind of started happening. Pressure and expectations kill it every time for me, so I have to go into it with none of either.

 

[tanyachrs]

Maybe, a question to ask is, how can I tell or help her feel better about being able to orgasm during sex with the help of clitoral stimulation?

Tell her: "I think it's so cool that you know what you need to get off and are willing to share it with me. Watching you work your clit is way hotter than someone faking it, like all those other girls I've been with who pretended they could come from thrusting alone."

 

[jaymeyeroskie]

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[MR.GGG]

I haven't read

... every response but I'll throw this out anyway.

Have you made her cum via Gspot stimulation? Someone already posted a link to my thread (thanks) so if you have tried that and it works the next step is, as is suggested on page UNO of the Technique , to transition to intercourse when the GSpot is stimulated and firing on all 12 cylinders!!

If you haven't ...

Read my TRY THIS thread and get her orgasming via Gspot rubbing. When she is, have her jump on you and ride like the wind (One if by land Two if by C - long story - never mind). If she moves her pelvis around she should be able to hit her own GSpot with the end of your erection on every down stroke and give herself a massive NON-clitoral orgasm every few downstrokes. If is works she can do this until she passes out or is incapable of moving. When that happens throw her over some pillows and continue. She will turn into just one big orgasming blob - incapable of thinking, moving much - completely out of control. By the sound sof it THIS is what you seek, grasshopper.

One other thing. When she starts riding you try pushing the heel of your hand into her tummy right above her pubic bone (just under her belly button). This will push her GSpot into the way of your erection as she slides down on it. The object of GSpot stimulation is fairly hard pressure and speed. Let her provide the speed she needs at first and then when she can't move anymore just keep doin her until you think she's had enough.

Let's git'erdune !!

 

[cele2flowers]

I'll just give advice from my own personal experience. I wasn't able to reach a vaginal orgasm until 1 1/2 years ago. Before that it was only clitoral. I read a book called "Super Sexual Orgasm" by Barbara Keesling and did some of the exercises in it. One was to do Kegal exercises. That's something women should do anyway but, for me anyway, it made penetration that much more enjoyable.

Other things that I found helped me reach orgasm was making sure I was relaxed. Having tensed muscles in the lower abdomen prevents the vagina from being relaxed enough to trigger an orgasm.

Also, the position you're in can make a difference. Before I had one, I felt close a few times, just couldn't quite get all the way there. Being in the right position can make all the difference.

Keep in mind that some women will never experience it. Some don't have one (at all) til they're 40 or more.

 

[jaymeyeroskie]

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[NippleMuncher]

There's been lot's of good advice here, and here's my .02 worth.

First and foremost is communication with your partner, learning what she likes and dislikes, (sounds like you are doing that ), but also communicate as partners in life, not just the bed chamber.

Second, regardless of "statistical data", none orgasming women (and men ) most likely are not in touch with themselves, nor getting the right stimulus or in the right environment. Without getting into the minutia of the human psychi and interpersonal relationships, this is a breif description of what I mean. Many people are *very* sexually repressed whether they will admit it to themselves or not, or are too busy with mind/power games, this is not conducive to honest and open communication, nor the ability to allow their bodies to relax and enjoy what's going on. Stress, overwork, health issues, tension, mood, fatigue, and alcohol all depress the brain and body, it's going to affect your sexual prowess as well. Environment: It could be lack of romance, comfortable or clean surroundings, or even something as simple as a "dedicated" sleeping area. Too many distractions. And then, some partners just are not attentive enough to satisfy their lovers.

Third, position. As already stated, the right position so as to be stimulating the G-spot is essential. This will be affected by the shape of the mans penis (straight, curved one way or another... ), height differences between the partners, etc. You'll have to find what works for you. Personally, woman on top facing me has works well, though my SO and I have found others that work too.

And last, relax, don't stress out over finding or not finding the G. Is it important? Absolutely! Just make sure that you are satisfying each other during your sessions and not just having a one way street. Continue your research (Mr. GGG's thread is excellent, btw ), put effort into improving your life relationship as well as your bedroom relationship. The closer that you and your SO are outside the bedroom, the closer your intimate times will be and your chances of success increase exponentially.

Oh, and practice, practice, practice...

 

[candescence]

Adding my two cents....

I know it was already said, but some women just can not get off without direct clitoral stimulation. BUT, clitoral stimulation while having intercourse can induce and incredible vaginal orgasm. But hey, any orgasm is a good one, right?

I say just go on and keeping having fun, my bet is that your sex life is pretty damn good the way it is.

 

[jaymeyeroskie]

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[jaymeyeroskie]

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[TBKahuna123]

Well everyone, I am happy to report that my gf and I had some success today.
She came over after a stressful day of work, and let's just say she needed some relieving. Well, how could I resist since she looked so sexy in her business clothes. Anyways, we bascially did a version of Mr. GGG's "try this and report back" and well she had a g-spot orgasm!
She said it was different than her other orgasms she has. I loved it. It is my favorite thing to do, that is completely please her. We had sex after and said that it felt different too. So, thanks to the help of you all, I think we're on to something!

Thanks again everyone. Advice is still welcome!

Awesome! Congrats! Is there some kind of award that we can give GGG for that thread? I swear that man has done more to advance human sexuality than Kinsey!

Now you just need to get SweetErika to point you toward her Magic Wand and you'll really be in business!

 

[herecomestherain]

Good for you on the GSpot thing it's big fun. For me vaginal orgasms are different, they feel quite unlike the more intense focussed clitoral type. They feel more general. For me they are more likely to occur after a good deal of tease or with quite vigorous stimulation or penetration - churning thrusting, or gentle fisting (the pressure and stretch of which is a very, very different kind of pleasure) - being able to ask and get the level of stimulation required is important.

It's also more like to happen if I've had a few orgasms through handplay before intercourse. Mixing up the order is fun, not seeing intercourse as the "end" of a session liberates you just to play and enjoy and then all sorts of good discoveries can be made.

I have come in the past just from nipple stimulation, but until I knew such a thing was possible I didn't recognise it as such because it feels again quite different - sort a small, slow building ache that kind of goes pop-melt quietly. Self knowledge and getting to know the different kinds of pleasure you're able to experience is one of life's great adventures.

There was an article just a few days ago about vaginal/clitoral orgasms --The Australian