Vaginal dryness

[adorable_me]

I am looking for help, input, or suggestions to alleviate vaginal dryness. My girlfriend does not ever really get what I would call "wet". With other girls I have been with, by the time we are ready for intercourse, they are soaked. She is different in that she never really has an abundance of moisture. There is enough for penetration and often times she is very lubricated if I pull out to change positions. She has asked her doctor as well, but he basically just suggested using a water based lubricant, which we do when needed, but neither of us really want to have to use that every time we are intimate.

Any thoughts?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Is she on birth control?

 

[desiree_d]

Personally, I would have her ask her doctor again, as pmann suggested B/C and several other medications can effect her hormone levels, which could be responsible for the dryness. I went to the adult novelty shop near my house. The sales associates know about the products sold. You may have success there also, and you could go together. I had an imbalance in one of my hormones and found quite the assortment available.

 

[SweetErika]

Hormones, including hormonal birth control, can really affect lubrication. So can dehydration; is she drinking plenty of water?

But it sounds like her natural lube is just a little slower to come and/or kind of gets "stuck" in her vagina. I have both of those issues more often than not. One solution is to retrieve the lube with fingers. Another is to add lube, although I'd strongly suggest silicone instead of water-based for everything except for use for toys that contain silicone (it will ruin them, but it IS condom/latex-friendly). It's a little more expensive up front, but cheaper in the end - we're just getting ready to buy a new 16 ounce pump bottle after 5+ years. A little silicone lube is hypoallergenic, won't cause any potential irritation or infections, and doesn't dry/gum up like water-based lube, so you just put a bit on at the start of play and wait for her natural lube to take over later on. Really, what's the problem with having it ready to go and incorporating its application into your play? It only takes a second to pump/squirt/rub some on, and then lube becomes a non-issue.

Is the real deal that one or both of you is taking the need for additional lube as an inadequacy issue? Like you feel inadequate because she doesn't get as wet as quickly naturally as the other women you've been with, or she feels like her body isn't working right? Those are pretty common feelings; it might be worth exploring whether either of you have a sense that adding lube is some sort of failure/problem and working through any such notions.

 

[njlauren]

I second what others have said, has she had her hormone levels checked out? My spouse had trouble with vaginal dryness for a number of years, then she started taking this herbal supplement designed to center out her hormones, and she no longer has any trouble with that (and then some....). One other suggestion a friend of mine swears by is to try taking fish oil supplements, she claims taking that has helped her with her own dryness issues. You don't have to swallow the liquid (though there are brands out there that taste fine), I take large capsules for heart health reasons...might be worth a shot, and isn't going to hurt her

 

[amica]

Allergy medications will also cause problems... They are designed to dry up your mucus membranes- But will dry up ALL your mucus membranes!

 

[satindesire]

I am looking for help, input, or suggestions to alleviate vaginal dryness. My girlfriend does not ever really get what I would call "wet". With other girls I have been with, by the time we are ready for intercourse, they are soaked. She is different in that she never really has an abundance of moisture. There is enough for penetration and often times she is very lubricated if I pull out to change positions. She has asked her doctor as well, but he basically just suggested using a water based lubricant, which we do when needed, but neither of us really want to have to use that every time we are intimate.

Any thoughts?

Another possibility is that there is absolutely nothing medically wrong with her, and that the fact that she's not "soaking" is completely normal.

I DO have a medical cause to my vaginal dryness, but using lube really isn't that big of a deal. Honestly, all the run around you'd have to do to figure out if she IS having a medical issue is way more annoying, expensive and problematic than just using lube.

I am in no way discouraging her from finding out if there is a problem, I'm merely saying that considering lube to be a big enough deal to avoid is a little silly.

 

[warrior queen]

Depending on the time of month, I go from almost bone-dry to gushing.
What's the big deal about lube?
It's magical stuff, and if you have it by the bed in a pump-bottle, takes zero time and effort to get at one-handed.

 

[amofiga]

Adorable

Dryness can be a real problem, especially as women get older. As retirement age folks, we deal with it all the time. But you seem like you're kind of young. Lube like KY can work, but it can also "wear out" after a little while or it can work up into a sort of sticky mess. My wife uses this stuff I think is called "replens" or something like that. It helps but it's not great. It also depends on what your girlfriend responds to as far as getting her turned on enough. If she likes oral, give her a lot. If she likes dirty talking or special words or actions, whatever it takes. Then as some have said, maybe she's just not the super wet type. I've been with women who are just barely wet and some "juicy lucys" who can soak the sheets and matress pad till you can wring them out. Women can vary and can vary from one time of the month to the next. Just like guys (you're probably still too young yet) can vary from tool-steel hardness to not so hard to (horrors) limp noodle. The older you get, the more you will face all sorts of issues that you don't even think about when your under 50 years old.

 

[adorable_me]

Thanks for all of the input everyone. Many of you have said to simply use lube or why don't we. At times we do, and that does solve the immediate problem, but neither of us are really all that fond of it. As most of you know, it is sticky and just plain not the same as the natural lubricant.

She seems to feel a bit "broken" because of it. She just brought it up again the other day, and mentioned that she did not have this problem in her youth. (She is 38, I am 39 by the way). I know that it varies from person to person, but is it possible she is getting ready for menopause so soon?

Thanks again for all of the input and advise.

 

[amofiga]

Thanks for all of the input everyone. Many of you have said to simply use lube or why don't we. At times we do, and that does solve the immediate problem, but neither of us are really all that fond of it. As most of you know, it is sticky and just plain not the same as the natural lubricant.

She seems to feel a bit "broken" because of it. She just brought it up again the other day, and mentioned that she did not have this problem in her youth. (She is 38, I am 39 by the way). I know that it varies from person to person, but is it possible she is getting ready for menopause so soon?

Thanks again for all of the input and advise.

Some women do go into menopause early. But 30's seems young. My wife started in her 40's. If your friend hasn't consulted a GYN, she shoud. Noting to be embarrassed about.

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for all of the input everyone. Many of you have said to simply use lube or why don't we. At times we do, and that does solve the immediate problem, but neither of us are really all that fond of it. As most of you know, it is sticky and just plain not the same as the natural lubricant.

She seems to feel a bit "broken" because of it. She just brought it up again the other day, and mentioned that she did not have this problem in her youth. (She is 38, I am 39 by the way). I know that it varies from person to person, but is it possible she is getting ready for menopause so soon?

Thanks again for all of the input and advise.

It sounds like you're using the wrong lube. Get yourself some silicone lube and marvel at the differences. Or, at the very least, buy a good water-based lube that isn't sticky; it won't hold up like silicone, but there are a few good ones on the market that are glycerin-, alcohol- and chemical-free.

After you do that, lobby for using your new lube. Get excited about it and make it a natural part of your play. Tell your gf that there's absolutely nothing wrong with her,and you love using your new lube, in no uncertain terms. Work on making both of you comfortable and confident.

Even when menopause is WAAAAAY down the road, our bodies still change as we age. At 32, mine certainly acts differently than it did at 16, or even 26. It's part of life, so we can either lament and dwell on things like not having as much natural lube, or we can focus on the positives of maturing and take stuff like adding lube in stride.

 

[subnovice]

.......

 

[Noor]

There are hormone creams that can really help but you need to find out why this is happening.

 

[MsQuote]

I don't know how to kindly or respectfully put this, but maybe she just isn't connecting with you sexually... at least during foreplay.

Don't be squeamish about using lube. That was a tough thing for me to get over for the longest time because I felt I was inadequate if I had to use it. Once you get the gears grinding so to speak, things will be running at full speed in no time. Personally, I like the water-based lubes. It's not necessarily that expensive. The generic/store brand stuff works just as well as the name-brand stuff and you probably don't need as much of it as you may think.

Aside from lube, try touching her VERY softly and VERY slowly ... like barley running your fingers up and down over the the skin and folds of her lips. I bet you'll not only get her wet, but will probably get her shaking and stirring like crazy.

 

[Lord Pmann]

It sounds like you're using the wrong lube. Get yourself some silicone lube and marvel at the differences. Or, at the very least, buy a good water-based lube that isn't sticky; it won't hold up like silicone, but there are a few good ones on the market that are glycerin-, alcohol- and chemical-free.

This is good advice. Do not buy cheap lube. I'm a lube aficionado.

Silicon lube is great. My favourite brand is JO. It isn't cheap, but it lasts a while. Works well for anal too. Pink is a good brand too and probably the most similar to a woman's natural lubrication.

Water based I have found Eros is my favourite, but JO makes a great one too.

LELO makes a great lube also.

I've found that the more expensive lubes are far better than the stuff you buy at the market. Go to a sex shop. Most of them have sample lines you can test. I mean, not fucking, but on your hand, like.

Did I miss if you mentioned her birth control? What does she use for that?

 

[GrrlFriday]

Allergy medications will also cause problems... They are designed to dry up your mucus membranes- But will dry up ALL your mucus membranes!

Thanks for mentioning this, damn allergies. *sniffles*