Upper crust British magazines

[Rustyoznail]

I've got an idea for a story loosely based around a very British Hyacinth Bucket and her husband (Keeping up appearances) type characters. What magazines would she have in the house,and would any of them mention "unmentionable" things? Obviously sex related unmentionables.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Country Life, so they know how much the mansion is worth. From memory, it always had a portrait of someone's daughter, often with a horse (careful with that).

The Times, probably - does it still carry coded advertisements? I don't know.

Other than that, we'll have to get input from Kumquatqueen or StickyGirl - but I don't think they're quite crusty enough.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Other than that, we'll have to get input from Kumquatqueen or StickyGirl - but I don't think they're quite crusty enough.

I am quite familiar with the upper crust, thank you!

Though Hyacinth is aspiring lower middle-class, so I very much doubt she'd have The Lady or Horse & Hound on her coffee table. Country Life or one of the local equivalents like Life in Surrey, probably.

Most likely for Hyacinth would be the Mail on Sunday and the Sunday Times magazines, both of which might have risqué content, the former telling you how shocked you should be about it, the latter would be an interview with a posh couple. She might have a copy of Hello! (photoshoots of posh people's weddings, mostly, with some fawning interviews)

What year is your story, as that will make a big difference? Hyacinth wouldn't have bought Marie Claire or Psychologies, but a version 20 years younger trying to look worldly and intellectual might.

Richard would have other magazines in the downstairs loo or bathroom - Private Eye and New Statesman, at a guess.

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

New Statesman

Isn't the "New Statesman" a very left-wing journal? Maybe the "Spectator" instead? As to the rest of the post, I agree (I "married into" British aristocracy, albeit the impecunious, bohemian fringe of it)

 

[Pink5Frills]

~~ I live in the country, and our nearest neighbour is over a mile away. Mom and I reside in an old rustic cottage, off the lane, and very secluded. We can parade naked around the cottage. In summer, we sit outside in the nude. ~~

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

Presumably you and your "Mom" are American, which explains the parades.

 

[Pink5Frills]

Presumably you and your "Mom" are American, which explains the parades.

~~~ Yes Sir.

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

~~~ Yes Sir.

That's right beech.

 

[Filipinawife]

Playboy?

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

This whole damn site is my playground

 

[Rustyoznail]

Thanks KQQ. It's set in the current day and I'm thinking they're in their late 50s.

 

[sixfoot4]

I am quite familiar with the upper crust, thank you!

Though Hyacinth is aspiring lower middle-class, so I very much doubt she'd have The Lady or Horse & Hound on her coffee table. Country Life or one of the local equivalents like Life in Surrey, probably.

Most likely for Hyacinth would be the Mail on Sunday and the Sunday Times magazines, both of which might have risqué content, the former telling you how shocked you should be about it, the latter would be an interview with a posh couple. She might have a copy of Hello! (photoshoots of posh people's weddings, mostly, with some fawning interviews)

What year is your story, as that will make a big difference? Hyacinth wouldn't have bought Marie Claire or Psychologies, but a version 20 years younger trying to look worldly and intellectual might.

Richard would have other magazines in the downstairs loo or bathroom - Private Eye and New Statesman, at a guess.

You nailed it, Kum. Might add Yachts and Yachting, Golf mags. Magazine racks have copies from yesteryear in them. The author was looking for sex related, so maybe some well thumbed 'Cosmopolitans'?

 

[Handley_Page]

I've got an idea for a story loosely based around a very British Hyacinth Bucket and her husband (Keeping up appearances) type characters. What magazines would she have in the house,and would any of them mention "unmentionable" things? Obviously sex related unmentionables.

The Lady
Shooting Times

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Thanks KQQ. It's set in the current day and I'm thinking they're in their late 50s.

Current day is a bit harder given how many mags are mostly online, but you can still have Country Life, Gardeners' Weekly, maybe the Waitrose magazine (again, interviews with poshos who amazingly often are in polyamorous arrangements), and the Sunday Times and mags (probably your best bet for a 'serious' article on how porn is affecting couples' sex lives etc. I think the Times still runs the ads for Plump Partners and other niche dating options.

A modern Hyacinth (considers SIL...) wouldn't be seen dead with Cosmo but might thumb it at the hairdresser.

I figured Richard would be leftie, thus NS over Spectator, but could go either way.

 

[HordHolm]

I've got an idea for a story loosely based around a very British Hyacinth Bucket and her husband (Keeping up appearances) type characters. What magazines would she have in the house,and would any of them mention "unmentionable" things? Obviously sex related unmentionables.

You might also consider that, if they are particularly 'keen to impress/grind the peasants' noses in their cultural superiority' there might be some programmes from some form of dramatic performance: either local amateur dramatic or something West End - Andrew Lloyd Weber perhaps, though I'd avoid ballet/high theatre/opera as that would suggest they have genuine cultural interests.

 

[ericrodman101]

I’d go with Tatler, Country Life, and Horse and Hound. As for unmentionable things, perhaps the porn could be hidden inside the legit mags. Alternatively, you could go for some high class art or fashion magazines which are really just opportunities to publish tasteful nudes. Titles like Polanski, Adult, Irene, and Treats spring to mind. And for the man who likes men, you could include Desnudo.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Rusty, do you want actual posh mags, or something modern Buckets might have about? Because the whole joke with Hyacinth is that she's lower middle-class at most, aspiring to what she thinks is posh, which is basically mid middle class. She's not actually posh in the slightest.

The only things both poshos and Hyacinth would have about would be carrier bags from Waitrose and M&S!

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

the whole joke with Hyacinth is that she's lower middle-class at most, aspiring to what she thinks is posh, which is basically mid middle class. She's not actually posh in the slightest.

I'm feeling like suggesting "write what you know" -- the subtleties of the British class system are, well, subtle.

 

[lovecraft68]

Could always make up your own.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm feeling like suggesting "write what you know" -- the subtleties of the British class system are, well, subtle.

My suggestion would be how about you write something other than posts before suggesting anything about writing?

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=770756&page=submissions

This isn't the GB where the only life skills are spewing hate and creating alts.

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

My suggestion would be how about you write something other than posts before suggesting anything about writing?

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=770756&page=submissions

This isn't the GB where the only life skills are spewing hate and creating alts.

"Spewing hate" is a little strong. If I were to spew hate, you'd see the difference immediately , but that's not my style.

 

[oggbashan]

I love "Keeping Up Appearances!" I have never imagined these characters in a sexual environment but I'd love to see what you can do with such personalities. Fun stuff!

Apparently the recently deceased Pope Benedict was a fan of Keeping Up Appearances.

 

[NoJo]

I remember reading about an American woman who became an Anglican vicar because she loved "The Vicar of Dibley" so much.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Thanks all for your suggestions. I'm going to have a hard time keeping to 750 words...