Unsurity

[Milady2002]

This is my stats. My real ones. I'm 25 years old, I am female. I have straight brown hair that comes a little past my shoulders. I have brown eyes, a small nose, and I wear a DD bra. I'm also 5 foot 2. The flip side is that I am a 22 dress size and I weight 200 pounds for those guys who don't know what the dress size means.

I'm terribly insecure with my appearance because I'm reaching a point in my life where I have only had 3 boyfriends. I am starting to be concerned that I will end up being single for the rest of my life.

I have spent the majority of my teen years telling myself (and being told by the stupid groupie jerks) that because I am overweight the mass majority of guys won't be interested in me and that it's the minority and the minority doesn't seem to have much to offer.

That thinking from teen years has spilled over into adult life. However, recently there was this guy. Oh did he flirt with me awfully, kept telling me to come and see him up in his hotel room. He was also married and I don't get involved with married men. Period. Even if he was Tom Cruise. Ok I'm lying, if he had been Tom Cruise, I would have probably have made the exception.

I have allowed my thinking of teen years overshadow all of my adulthood. So in a public forum I want to pose this question for the gentlemen here. Does it really matter if the woman is fat or thin or do you value what is inside as well? Or has my mind deluded itself on what is and I've missed lots of 'fun' opportunities because of what I've been telling myself.


I really would appreciate it if males answered my question since I am totally heterosexual.

Thanks
The Duchess

 

[gaigirl]

I'm not a guy, but...

I reently lost thirty some odd pounds. I went from dress size 16 to 8. I'm 5'10", so I was able to get away with those thirty pounds more easily than a petite woman can.

It made a huge difference. But another thing that made a huge difference is probably far more important.

The difference in reactions to me came only after I had changed my own image of myself. Not necessarily physically-- I didn't know how to move, walk, talk, become any moe sexy after the weight loss. I was still my same old insecure self. When the different reactions started, it was after I had begun to change some of myown behaviors.

I walk with my head up and a smile on my face. I make eye contact whenever I can, and smile warmly at those whose attentions I would welcome.

Point is-- the difference was my attitude, not my weight loss. For me, the weight loss only kick started behavioral changes in the attitude department.

You go girl. Hold our head up high, tits out, and walk proudly. You are always only what you are-- regardless of what you weigh. If you like who/what you are, others will too.

 

[Sparkey]

Milady,
It should not matter to a guy what you look like. What really matters, and you touched on it, is what is inside. The wrapping on the present isn't as important as the gift that is inside the box (and I am not speaking of sex here).
After a long marital relationship I found myself single again about 6 years ago. I turned to friendships on the internet, searching for a true friend. I met, face to face, a few of these people. Even though a couple were overweight, it didn't matter to me. You see,
we had written and chatted online for quite sometime before meeting. The most meaningful dating relationship that I had was with a girl that lived 800 miles away from me. We chatted and e-mailed for 10 months before meeting. She was a BBW but that didn't matter to me because I had gotten to know here on line. Getting to know someone online means that you get to know them from the inside out rather than seeing them first and having those preconceived ideas that we all have about someone, when we first meet them, based on their appearance. We dated for 2 years, mostly on line. We did manage to get together about once every 3 or 4 months for a few days. That relationship only ended because of the age difference between she and I.
The most meaningful relationship that I found here on line is a woman that I met here a little over 3 years ago. I married her 2 years ago and we are very happily married. We also met here on line and got to know each other very well thru e-mail before we ever met. This is the happiest relationship that I have ever been in. Bt the way, she is a BBW also.
A true devoted lifetime friend and lover is not going to be concerned with what you are shaped like, he is going to be interested in what you ARE like.