Unsent Messages to Him/Her

[ethereal~minx]

Possession Lyrics

Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide
voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time
the night is my companion, and solitude my guide
would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?

And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear

Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word to find
the truth enslaved
oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive

And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear

Into this night I wander
it's morning that I dread
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread
oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
nothing stands between us here
and I won't be denied

and I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes...

 

[guy_fit_gta]

I miss you terribly when i walk away onto the plane

I miss you terribly the moment i know that I have to walk back onto the plane and leave,
I want to tell you how much I'll miss you, but I know that you can't bear to hear it,
I want you to know how hard it is for me to leave, I want you to know the pain I feel when I am away from you, but I know it won't help
I want you to see my heart, and hear it calling for you, pleading with me not to take it away from you,
I want you to hear me say that where you are is my home, but I can't say it
I want you to know what joy and happiness you have given me, the light that you have brought to me,
I want to tell you I Love You
I want to tell you I Love You,

and that i Miss you, Terribly

 

[ethereal~minx]

Strength!strength! strength?

 

[ethereal~minx]

tests tests tests
it feels like every situation is a test
watching to see if I'd respond to you...
or you to me
or me to him
or when all I wanted to do was talk

the way home made me realize there is soo much said
without words *smile*
reminds me of 'mind-reading' or speaking without actually speaking aloud ... I was thinking about this all the way home~ why in the world can't we just talk about this ??? why why why does it have to be sooo undercover & it seemed to just come to me~ it's nature, it's mindpower, it's finding our truth and sticking to it, it's strength... I was wondering how long it would be before I would stop being tested --tested in my decisions *s*
when I came in last night, I was pretty confident about your position~ your little comments, glances, acknowledgements...I notice but then your words get in the way--intentionally--then I second guess myself in your testing
ugh! I get sooo confused with you two, so hurt and so happy
and anyway
the mindreading thing~
the testing
the "time to get to know ya"
*tears* this is not easy for me, when it seems words would be soooo much easier=== ...
~~~~~~
benefits of bldg 2--your words hurt me and I actually don't knowwhy you even say them for any other reason
~~~~~~
*tears tears tears*

 

[ethereal~minx]

i don't know why You asked
other than yes, it would be nice to be there already
You
i don't fear You but *silence* i do watch what i say
so much more carefully with You
i so appreciate Your kindness~
You know You melt my heart
i wish i could feel Your arms right now
i feel sooo torn apart!
i just want to scream at him
i don't want him to go away
i don't know if i can let him be
i have to see him today
my stove at my house
the beds
the
i want to stay there now
*tears*

 

[ethereal~minx]

You have taught me every day and i told You most recently i'd stop questioning Your teaching~~~
and i ii-- i also okay, i need to put myself in check~emotionally *clearing throat*
so, for my good and the *unspoken words* i shall be "in training" *wondering if she'll ever stop wondering, ever* to please You!*this is where she reeally likes to believe~~ biggggg hugeeee smilessssssss*

 

[ethereal~minx]

how can i say i'm sorry
to question my own mind
how do i know when
your wish is not mine?
i know in the heart soul of me
i am ultimately Your slave
i believe it is You pushing me
to depths we both crave
i question my own mind
but for your teaching i will beg
i will go ~for You
to ultimately serve You again

 

[ethereal~minx]

reading and rereading these words~ my throat begins to constrict~ could it be i'm reading the very definition of masochist
*stomach flipping head spinning thoughts whirring* i'm not thinking clearly~ i'm perplexed in my thoughts i hunger for understanding ~is my way Hell's knots?

 

[ethereal~minx]

i see my world inside of Your eyes~ tears ~i'm confused... i learn so much from You and the drive home last night was no exception. i am afraid--- i'm scared and i need Your arms around me i need Your truth please tell me i'm okay, please tell me i'll be okay



no i don't like this pain please make it go away

please i don't want to feel like this please Master, make it go away

i am down on my knees i don't know where You are, please reach down and touch me~ i am afraid of this dark

 

[ethereal~minx]

through this pain i see
more answers in the light
bright beacons calling me home
like a mirage in the desert
or calm in a turbulent sea
is it really there
do i trust in what i see?
tears come to my eyes
pain constricts my chest
do you ???? value me
proper context is my quest

 

[ethereal~minx]

nonooo i'm not a masochist
i do not derive pleasure from this pain
i grow it is true
but that is all i gain
i am learning through this all
i do not know what the next moment brings
i hear His words so affecting
He knew i could be strong
~~~with quiet contemplation
my emotional reaction will be gone
i have been searching for meaning
answers reasons truths for
what's been going on when i should
just let it be but it is what i neeeeed
i i need a context i don't ---and i
but i'm --but with this i am feeling a couple
of things~ 1 i wish i would have said, okay~ this is
a big huge mind-altering experience for me, let's just
take a big huge breather for long time~ i thought you were with me because it was a big deal to me, but then again--- i understand, & this is just hindsight *1/2 smiles--ok, that was a pain smile* i wish i could have --we could have talked about the experience and all chose together how big of a deal it was, at least to me~ i know you know that it was a big deal, i wish it could have been 'framedup' or something *L* by you guys or something---i feel/felt like i was losing it ------ ok, and 2, i just cant read anything here anymore. i think about something and then it becomes a thread or i comment on something then it happens--- a little too much overlap for me. and my words are getting in my way. i've realized i talk alot of shit *laughing* that is soo harsh but--- i'll say something that i totally believe is true, even believe that i've experienced it---- but then truly experience it [[[[[OMG]]]]]] it is upsetting to me--- this is humiliation, personal flipping humiliation--- i see it in my own flippin writing *rolling eyes* ---- so i'm going to trrrry to stay right here in my own little flipping world because i can't handle any more reality than i have because i don't flipping know what reality is


collar~of~pain

 

[ethereal~minx]

ohhh no, no i cried
my voice held back the pain
these bruises i knew in love
were this time not the same
i was living fear's reaction
i wear this collar now in pride
i do not hide my bruises in shame
for this collar's possession
i kneel for You in my mind

 

[ethereal~minx]

please don't do this to me,
i fear your disdain
i am vulnerable to you
i am feeling/fearing your hate
i am fearing the edge
please don't push me there
i promise to obey
i am stripped and soul~bare

 

[ethereal~minx]

im afraid to say a word
i'm afraid to open my mouth
i stifled by my fears
but still i must move
i am in a frenzy
frozen yet unbound
frantic going crazy
static without sound
i m afraid i will
i;m just afraid
i don't know what to do
i can't stay like this
i can't find me without you

 

[ethereal~minx]

i can't say anything at all
i'm locked inside a hell
i can't reach out to anyone
i'm alone with no one to tell
please come find me
please take me home
please tell me i am safe
and then let me go

 

[ethereal~minx]

last night was a beginning

there is much more to tell

Your wish is My command

a wish i will fulfill

to You i will listen

i am ultimately Your slave

I'm merely a frame for your power

and the constructs that you crave

 

[ethereal~minx]

A Woman's Worth Lyrics

You could buy me diamonds, you could buy me pearls.
Take me on a cruise around the world,
Baby you know I'm worth it.
Dinner lit by candles run my bubble bath,
Make love tenderly to last and last,
Baby you know I'm worth it.
Wanna please, wanna keep, wanna treat, your woman right,
Not just told, but to show, that you know, she is worth your time.
You will lose, if you choose, to refuse, to put her first.
She will, if she can't, find a man, who knows her worth, mhmn

Cuza real man knows a real woman, when he sees her.
And a real woman knows a real man, ain't afraid to please her.
And a real woman knows a real man, always comes first.
And a real man just can't deny, a woman's worth.

If you treat me fairly I'll give you all my goods,
treat you like a real woman should.
Baby I know your worth it.
If you never play me, promise not to blow off
I’ll hold you down when SHIT get’s ruff.
Baby I know your worth it.
She runs the mile, makes you smile, all the while being true.
Don't take for granted the passion that she, has for you.
You will lose, if you choose, to refuse, to put her, first.
She will if she can't find a man who knows her worth. oh

Cuza real man knows a real woman, when he sees her.
And a real woman knows a real man, ain't afraid to please her.
And a real woman knows a real man, always comes first.
And a real man just can't deny, a woman's worth.

No need to read between the lines, spell out for you.
Just hear this song cuzyou can't go wrong, when you value
A woman, woman, woman, a woman's, worth.

Cuza real man knows a real woman, when he sees her.
And a real woman knows a real man, ain't afraid to please her.
And a real woman knows a real man, always comes first.
And a real man just can't deny, a woman's worth.

Cuza real man knows a real woman, when he sees her.(nothin like a woman)
And a real woman knows a real man, ain't afraid to please her.(ooh ooh)
And a real woman knows a real man, always comes first.
And a real man just can't deny, a woman's worth

Mhmn mhmn mhmn mhmn mhmn mhmn

suba duba do'h do'h doodle dee doodle dee

ooh Mhmn mhmn mhmn mhmn mhmn mhmn

Cherish that woman

ooh yeah

 

[ethereal~minx]

nothing has changed, i know
i still feel somewhat confused
though there are no bounds to speak of
do i know that im still safe
do You understand why i fear
why i feel alone inside Your world?

do i hear what You say, in the words that You say? i don't know what i know and i beg and i beg~ i know that i shouldn't
then i think that i should
are You teaching me?
is Your intent for my good?

 

[ethereal~minx]

NEVER put all your romantic eggs in one basket thread

You sort of go from talking about a person who is already your partner to romantic hopefuls here, so I'll try an answer both ways too.
I think all of this depends on whether or not you've said I love you. If you say I love you to someone who has said it to you, and then continue with the mindset you describe above, then in my book, you're afraid, immature and selfish, and worst of all, very hurtfully manipulative. I've been on both sides of this coin.
When you're really in love with someone, there's an intrinsic monogamy of the heart which surpasses that of the body. I'll speak woman to man here, but understand that I realize it goes both ways. Do you honestly think that a woman who knows you and loves you doesn't see straight through this game? If it weren't so painful, that would be almost laughable--she's counting the number of people you're prepared to hurt. It's only ego that lets you believe this adds to your appeal.
If you're describing an attitude about dating, then I'd agree. Dating should be fun and the net should be cast widely. Popular people often have good qualities like a sense of humor or kindness that draws others to them. One can only hope the goodness goes to the bone.

speechless & perplexed
Truth to contemplate
what is true?
all behavior is to have needs met?
even through the pain
we are all divine inside?
need is ultimately the same?

 

[ethereal~minx]

hm. this struck me for some reason.
I was told recently that I'm not submissive because I didn't do what I was told
"suck his dick!"
I am submissive to the person that said this to me
but just because I am submissive does not mean I
will submit anywhere anytime to anyone

I can be a participant submissive,
but the place I am free to embrace all of me~ to lose shame is found when I'm held in a loving and firm frame by a Dominant partner who knows precisely how moldable and influencable I am...and that is capable of using that power to mold and influence me deliberately and consciously for my good and for the good of the relationship...

when I know I'm in a relationship, w/ love & framework .....

 

[ethereal~minx]

---You have ALL of me, all of this DIVINE beauty, this rainbow of light to handle and throw and play with and mold~~~ You have a world at Your fingertips, any world that You want it to be~ from this chaos, this Creation is more than You can imagine~ this world of light to be handled, to be played with, to be used... Connected to You~ the Divine Master, for self-liberation & pleasure beyond what You've experienced---- the living love, the intimacy, the depth, the growth, the expansion, the connection to all living things, the Earth! this Brand New Brilliant Beautiful Divine World of Light at Your fingertips~~~ one, in a VAST Light Cosmos of Your Own Magnificient Creation

 

[ethereal~minx]

---You have ALL of me, all of this DIVINE beauty, this rainbow of light to handle and throw and play with and mold~~~ You have a world at Your fingertips, any world that You want it to be~ from this chaos, this Creation is more than You can imagine~ this world of light to be handled, to be played with, to be used... Connected to You~ the Divine Master, for self-liberation & pleasure beyond what You've experienced---- the living love, the intimacy, the depth, the growth, the expansion, the connection to all living things, the Earth! this Brand New Brilliant Beautiful Divine World of Light at Your fingertips~~~ one, in a VAST Light Cosmos of Your Own Magnificient Creation

don't we all, reeeally? *weg* don't we all have that balance within us somewhere *smile*?
WOW!!!! GOD! I think we do do we have what it takes-- to balance? to control this remarkable power... to exchange it to play with it to watch it grow & form & keep it real & raw & hmmm right on the edge? that's where it is--- that's it's just I'm speechless and I'm happy and so at peace
it's allll goooooood

 

[ethereal~minx]

My Sacrifice Lyrics

Hello my friend we meet again
It's been a while where should we begin ... feels like forever
Within my heart are memories of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember

Chorus:
When you are with me
I'm free...I'm careless...I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My Sacrifice

We've seen our share of up's and down's
Oh, how quickly life can turn around ... in an instant
It feels so good to reunite within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there

When you are with me
I'm free...I'm careless...I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My Sacrifice

I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again

 

[ethereal~minx]

~~02/04/04

my mind goes back and forth
lashing out of control
please turn it off
tell it where to go
i need to get out of here
i am going straight to hell
please Master deliver me
from this darkness that i dwell
i get into this darkness
and i spin out of control
please help me Master
before i lose it all
please tell me how it will end
please tell me how to behave
this pain is sooo deep and so dark
i'm afraid of this rage

 

[ethereal~minx]

no longer afraid
it's ALLLLL sooooo clear
guided by light
and peace within
he and I
we'll conquer and win
this battle of love
this battle of hate
this battle of evil
that Love will Dominate

close your eyes
and feel your guide
feel your soul
is it right
thaat place you go?
yes it 'feels' good
naughty~ 'the edge'
who are you
inside
is that you
doing that
is your jaw slowly clenching
do you feel the redness growing on your cheeks
think consciously
you are a world of light
at my fingertips
and I love you unconditionally
just as you me