Unpredicted Hard Limits

[DeepGreenEyes]

Yeah, but then the little beasties get all teary eyed with hurt feelings because you threw away their most prized possession... of... all... time!

The logic that it's a wrapper off a sucker that came in a package of 6 with 5 left is beyond their logic.

West coasters have no respect for history. That wrapper is indicative of a particular cultural milieu, one that will never be repeated.

Why does it not surprise me that you'd have fun with something like that...
You and my Sir... God help us all if the two of you ever sat down and got within 20 feet of colluding over something.

It's not that it's always fun, exactly, in the beer ad way. It's just so interesting. Like going to a good science museum or watching Nova:

"Holy fuck!! Really?!! That?? This wire is connected to that??"

 

[chy_girl]

West coasters have no respect for history. That wrapper is indicative of a particular cultural milieu, one that will never be repeated.

You know, no one ever said the Mother's Curse had to come from your mother...

It's not that it's always fun, exactly, in the beer ad way. It's just so interesting. Like going to a good science museum or watching Nova:

"Holy fuck!! Really?!! That?? This wire is connected to that??"

Who ever said that "fun" was meant in a beer ad kind of way? I was talking about fun as in the:
"Oh, look! A new button..."

*touches the button* ... *pokes the button* ... *presses lightly on the button* ... *tries turning the button* ... *jabs the button all the way down*

"Wow! That's kind of cool the way her head went all splody like that..."

*picks up the pieces of splody-sub before wandering off to write "push gently" on a piece of masking tape to mark the button*

Curiosity coupled with the love of a mind fuck can be very interesting for the victim... I mean sub... and very fun (and not in a beer ad sort of way) for the fucker... I mean Dom-type who's doing the topping.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Let's call them "quirky limits": limits that we do not know we have until we meet them, limits that actually make little sense and have no other reason to exist but because of who we are/how we are wired, limits that on the reward scale, most of the times, are not worth pushing.

Quirky does seem to fit. The bolded part..yeah, I am grateful when he realizes it not worth pushing, even though I feel horrible about having the limit.

*hug*

I've felt this way over and over again in my life and not just in the kink area either. I dislike myself when I can't do absolutely everything and anything the people around me need. When I find a limit that I had no idea I had. Sometimes I even work on breaking one down but some are just that hard and won't be broken without breaking me.

FF

Exactly. My issues tend to have nothing to do with sex or BDSMy play just other areas. I want so badly to get over it but it begins to stress me out so much it just isn't work it.

More interesting to me than hard limits of sexual behavior are psychological minefields, sexual or not. Places you venture into and witness shrapnel exploding around you. I'm fascinated by words, tones, acts that trigger unexpected responses. You can learn a lot about your partner's inner landscape by putting your life in danger occasionally.

This is true and I think when a relationship survives this kind of exploration it comes out stronger and deeper.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

This is true and I think when a relationship survives this kind of exploration it comes out stronger and deeper.

I agree. Mapping a new area helps you get around more comfortably.

Who ever said that "fun" was meant in a beer ad kind of way? I was talking about fun as in the:
"Oh, look! A new button..."

*touches the button* ... *pokes the button* ... *presses lightly on the button* ... *tries turning the button* ... *jabs the button all the way down*

"Wow! That's kind of cool the way her head went all splody like that..."

*picks up the pieces of splody-sub before wandering off to write "push gently" on a piece of masking tape to mark the button*

Curiosity coupled with the love of a mind fuck can be very interesting for the victim... I mean sub... and very fun (and not in a beer ad sort of way) for the fucker... I mean Dom-type who's doing the topping.

The button description made me smile. Yes. What I'd like to see is a beer ad depicting that.

 

[chy_girl]

The button description made me smile. Yes. What I'd like to see is a beer ad depicting that.

The beer ad people would fuck it up. It'd definitely need to be someone who's either been the pusher or the pushee.

ETA:
Of course it can work in the opposite direction, too, where the sub-type is the button pusher... The outcome and consequences just tend to be a little different when the Dom-types go all splodey. Which is why it's not a good idea to actually *jab* the button if one is a sub-type person.

 

[catalina_francisco]

The question is anybody else surprised by things that come up as a relationship progresses that end up as hard limits? Little things that end up being big?

Yes, though mine are not accepted as hard limits. Sometimes they make sense sometimes they don't...sometimes he understands and gives me time, sometimes he doesn't. It does tend to undermine self image, and it is easy to let the molehill become a mountain. Self talk can do wonders, but is not always a cure. I think people who say they just do everything they are asked to either have someone doing the asking who is aware of their triggers, limits, whatever you want to call them, and cater to them, or are creating an unrealistic image to save face.

Problem is, it then creates problems for those who are honestly trying to live in their situation and find themselves challenged and feel they have no right to have feelings, triggers etc., and should just fall blindly to their knees in gratitude and submission without an ounce of difficulty...fantasy land IME. Sort of reminds me of someone I know who are in their 60's and recently admitted everything they do and are is an illusion as they have lived their whole life creating a facade which was not real but they thought pleased others and gained them admiration, instead of living their life as themselves, right down to clothing, mannerisms etc.,...it is sad.

Catalina

 

[slave_]

It's not that it's always fun, exactly, in the beer ad way. It's just so interesting. Like going to a good science museum or watching Nova:

"Holy fuck!! Really?!! That?? This wire is connected to that??"

LMAO! This is so true! The science museum and Nova comment is priceless!!!

 

[seela]

I thought about this back when this thread was first started and couldn't come up with anything. Recently I saw a pic in the Oral Servitude thread that reminded me of one of my biggest fears. Having my mouth and teeth inspected is a huge no-no for me and any device that keeps my mouth wide open would make me use my safeword should I have one.

He knows my irrational reaction to it and sometimes he uses it to make me a sobbing mess, but because my reaction to it is pretty severe it's not too common a thing to be played with.

Having this fear, or limit, doesn't make me feel any less submissive but at times it does make me question my sanity.