unexpected predicament

[hmmnmm]

Hey everybody.
First of all, I have to say that I miss hanging out here: learning, visiting, laughing, all that and more. Haven't written anything - not even something terrible - in about half a year. I guess marriage tends to have this effect, although I've been spending more time with music - guitar, home recording, etc...
But to the unexpected predicament: I realized the other day that, while erotic activity with another person whom I love is a great thing, sparse indeed have become the days of just laying around and enjoying the thrill of casual solo stimulation (okay, jerking off). Is this unusual? Seems I recall a thread long ago (or it may have been somewhere else) that raised the question of the fate of the creative drive once one becomes involved in a serious relationship. Is there a connection between being alone and fueling your intense drives into a creative effort, because you haven't the distractive pull from another destination?
Sorry if this is terrible writing. At least it's typed. Ha ha.

Hi again to all familiar screen names.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Hello there, hmmmnmmm. I don't have an answer to your question, but it's good to see you again.

Shanglan

 

[LadyJeanne]

For me, it's the opposite. The more sex I have, the more I masturbate, too. And the more sex I have, the more creative I am with stories...fuels the fire, so to speak, and gives me ideas for elements to include in a story.

But I can see how marriage would be different - you're involved in a lot of other things together that take up a lot of time, leaving less time and energy for writing, erotic or otherwise.

 

[hmmnmm]

Aww, and good to see you. Thanks.
I recall you were one of those who volunteered editing tips. As you see, I forgot most of them...
The edited version of the above: anybody out there go through a long period of time without companionship, you long for nothing else, then finally you get and you are glad for it, but you realize one day, "I can't believe I miss jerking off as much as I used to."
Or is that not any better?
Never mind.
Thanks.
Wish I could stay longer, but I better go practice a few right hand picking techniques.. upstrokes need work.
Later...

 

[English Lady]

Hmmnmm *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* good to see you, love!

hmm, maybe you need to masturbate with your wife my husband and I do it fairly regularly either when we're too tired for anything more energetic or if we need to be extra quiet for ome reason. it's very, very sensual!

 

[kendo1]

Hi Hmmmmmmmmmm!
How's the soup?
Good to see you again.

After 25 years of marriage you get used to the lack of good old fashioned sex.
But, there's more to life than that. Well, so she says.

Just saw Shanglan pulling a cart on TV. Weird.

 

[cantdog]

Hey, hmmnmm.

A man I know, who was a fool for his guitar and wrote all the time, got married to his ideal woman, after great angst and sacrifice, and found he no longer can write a decent song. I told him creativity is still key, and he said, well yeah. Creativity! Wo! he said. So like, do not neglect this. Writing is all right and shit, but put the fingers to better use.

 

[hmmnmm]

Kendo! EL! Cant! Cheers and so good to see you!
Uh, so shortly after the posting of this slight quandary the other day, and being that I was able to relax alone for a bit, I conducted some research, using my humble body for... whatever the term is...
And here's what I found:
In the old days, many of my lengthy self-explorations would conclude with intense longing for companionship. This time, there was no such longing, in fact I noticed - and was grateful for - the knowledge that such yearned- for companionship was not far away.
It was just an odd feeling, that's all, finding myself missing what I thought I would not miss. If that makes sense.
Hey, Happy New Year, All!
I'll try to stop in when I can.

 

[English Lady]

*hugs* hmmnmm -glad you managed to come to an,erm, satisfactory conclusion!

 

[NoJo]

Hey everybody.
First of all, I have to say that I miss hanging out here: learning, visiting, laughing, all that and more. Haven't written anything - not even something terrible - in about half a year. I guess marriage tends to have this effect, although I've been spending more time with music - guitar, home recording, etc...
But to the unexpected predicament: I realized the other day that, while erotic activity with another person whom I love is a great thing, sparse indeed have become the days of just laying around and enjoying the thrill of casual solo stimulation (okay, jerking off). Is this unusual? Seems I recall a thread long ago (or it may have been somewhere else) that raised the question of the fate of the creative drive once one becomes involved in a serious relationship. Is there a connection between being alone and fueling your intense drives into a creative effort, because you haven't the distractive pull from another destination?
Sorry if this is terrible writing. At least it's typed. Ha ha.

Hi again to all familiar screen names.

Hi, O Pensive And Musing One.

I completely understand your predicament, and I've spent the last 20 years trying out different ways of reconciling my various and sometimes conflicting needs, venal, social and psychological. I've "gone without" sex, wanking, writing, music for months at a time.


I can say, from my experience, is that

1. The rules of life change, sometimes suddenly like an earthquake, sometime imperceptably. The latter is more dangerous, because we usually notice the change too late, and spend far too long playing by the "old" rules.
I destroyed my old life in flames, after I realised it was destroying me. If I'd noticed sooner, fewer people would have got hurt.

2. You can't do everything you want to do at once. Sometime you need to shelve projects, stop certain pleasurable activities, otherwise your life gets stretched too thin.
I don't have time to write, but I still call myself a writer.

 

[hmmnmm]

The Lesson seems to entail the idea of being as much In The Moment as possible and refrain as much as possible from casting those longing glances towards the past or reaching those yearning hands into the future.
Because Life is ever-changing, and it always Is.
Something like that.
Well, just got a pickup for the acoustic... Miking that thing is a real challenge.

Later...

and happy soup slurping whoever and wherever you are

 

[hmmnmm]

just another thought:
I've also gone months "without" writing, music, sex (that would years - note the plural tense). But I cannot imagine going more than two weeks without wanking, married or not. The Coke and Pepsi wars? I never qualified because I like both. Gibsons and Fenders. Top or Bottom. Left hand, right hand... blah blah blah.
Thank you again.

 

[Belegon]

For me, it's the opposite. The more sex I have, the more I masturbate, too. And the more sex I have, the more creative I am with stories...fuels the fire, so to speak, and gives me ideas for elements to include in a story.

this is me as well...

But I can see how marriage would be different - you're involved in a lot of other things together that take up a lot of time, leaving less time and energy for writing, erotic or otherwise.

I don't think it was marriage that really put me on the shelf that I came off of when I got here...it was having children...