UK thread part 2

[AWonkyDonkey]

I'm back, I'm back.

*Flops in the corner*

 

[Tallulah82]

I'm back, I'm back.

*Flops in the corner*

Well about bloody time! Hours I have been waiting. HOURS!!

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Well about bloody time! Hours I have been waiting. HOURS!!

I'm sorry, I should have realised...

You didn't have to wait for me y'know. Now you know. However I'm glad you did - it just demonstrates how much you worship the ground I stumble on.

Yep, that's it.

 

[Tallulah82]

I'm sorry, I should have realised...

You didn't have to wait for me y'know. Now you know. However I'm glad you did - it just demonstrates how much you worship the ground I stumble on.

Yep, that's it.

I didn't??? Fuck. I can't believe it. I turned down going to the pub, being taken for a ride on a stallion with a topless guy and being flown to Italy for a pizza tonight.

Yeah, that's what it is. I worship the ground. Not you. Mud.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

being taken for a ride on a stallion

YOU WHAT?!

You don't want to be doing that. Stallions are so overrated. I see them everyday, prancing round their field, tossing their mane and mounting everything in sight. They're male sluts.

What you need is something slow. Dependable. Gorgeous. Like a donkey!

 

[Tallulah82]

YOU WHAT?!

You don't want to be doing that. Stallions are so overrated. I see them everyday, prancing round their field, tossing their mane and mounting everything in sight. They're male sluts.

What you need is something slow. Dependable. Gorgeous. Like a donkey!

Hmm. A touch of jealousy there Wonks?

No. You are right. I should want a donkey that stumbles over at a painfully slow pace then trips over uneven ground and lands at my feet, tired and needing a nap. Oh baby.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Hmm. A touch of jealousy there Wonks?

No. You are right. I should want a donkey that stumbles over at a painfully slow pace then trips over uneven ground and lands at my feet, tired and needing a nap. Oh baby.

Maybe just a touch... Lulu.

Of course you do. You're seeing it properly now. Why go for power and beauty when you can have weak and looks only a mother could love.

 

[Tallulah82]

Maybe just a touch... Lulu.

Of course you do. You're seeing it properly now. Why go for power and beauty when you can have weak and looks only a mother could love.

Yeah. You've convinced me. Weak and ugly. Mmhmm.

Oh and btw - I hope you are not trying to get me to role-play your mother - again. I know you are just a boy and I am the crypt keeper but seriously. Take that fucked up shit somewhere else

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Yeah. You've convinced me. Weak and ugly. Mmhmm.

Oh and btw - I hope you are not trying to get me to role-play your mother - again. I know you are just a boy and I am the crypt keeper but seriously. Take that fucked up shit somewhere else

Okay. Okay. How about you play my Grandmother instead? I didn't hear you say anything about that. Oooh! I'm so excited. I can almost smell the a
Arnica and Werthers Originals!

 

[Tallulah82]

Okay. Okay. How about you play my Grandmother instead? I didn't hear you say anything about that. Oooh! I'm so excited. I can almost smell the a
Arnica and Werthers Originals!

Look. We are friends. Bloody good friends. You've cried on my shoulder when women keep rejecting you and you've talked me out of stabbing my co-workers.

So as I see it - I can do a friend a favour. You want a pity fuck? fine. I shall let you call me granny as you ride me too. But it is only this once. Then I want you to go and get out there more - I am sure that local pubs do a 'grab a granny night'. Deal?

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Look. We are friends. Bloody good friends. You've cried on my shoulder when women keep rejecting you and you've talked me out of stabbing my co-workers.

So as I see it - I can do a friend a favour. You want a pity fuck? fine. I shall let you call me granny as you ride me too. But it is only this once. Then I want you to go and get out there more - I am sure that local pubs do a 'grab a granny night'. Deal?

Wow. It worked! I've got a pity fuck!

*Looks for train tickets.*

I'll be there in a couple of hours. Do me a favour and perm your hair - it just adds to the experience! I'll have to make the most of this as you see - I'm banned from every Grab-a-Granny event in South Yorkshire.

It turns out that the organisers frown upon whipping your cock out onto the table during dominoes.

How was I to know?!

 

[Tallulah82]

Wow. It worked! I've got a pity fuck!

*Looks for train tickets.*

I'll be there in a couple of hours. Do me a favour and perm your hair - it just adds to the experience! I'll have to make the most of this as you see - I'm banned from every Grab-a-Granny event in South Yorkshire.

It turns out that the organisers frown upon whipping your cock out onto the table during dominoes.

How was I to know?!

Haha. - I got a pic that you might like - will ping you it

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Haha. - I got a pic that you might like - will ping you it

10-4 Rubber Duck.

 

[Tallulah82]

10-4 Rubber Duck.

LOL

You got mail you freak

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

LOL

You got mail you freak

You didn't have to send me a pic of your granny knickers, I'll be seeing them for real in a couple of hours!

Seriously though - LOL, I'm stealing that.

 

[Tallulah82]

You didn't have to send me a pic of your granny knickers, I'll be seeing them for real in a couple of hours!

Seriously though - LOL, I'm stealing that.

Ha. My M&S granny pants are well comfy

I thought you might like it. I put it on FB once - no-one thought it was funny - weirdo's.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Ha. My M&S granny pants are well comfy

I thought you might like it. I put it on FB once - no-one thought it was funny - weirdo's.

Whaaaa'? Your Facebook is full of humourless people too then?

I've got it on my profile. Anyone looking at it will then realise that I need help - lots of it!

 

[Tallulah82]

Whaaaa'? Your Facebook is full of humourless people too then?

I've got it on my profile. Anyone looking at it will then realise that I need help - lots of it!

Yeah. They like clean humour. Or showing off their kids. Again. Or moaning. Or those annoying inspirational "I am perfect as I am and no one can dictate my life" quotes that can only be read in the most whiny tone of voice, perhaps with an almost stomp of a foot too.

Hmm. I'm now wondering why I have these friends? Maybe a FB purge is due...

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Yeah. They like clean humour. Or showing off their kids. Again. Or moaning. Or those annoying inspirational "I am perfect as I am and no one can dictate my life" quotes that can only be read in the most whiny tone of voice, perhaps with an almost stomp of a foot too.

Hmm. I'm now wondering why I have these friends? Maybe a FB purge is due...

Ah, I know them well.
I had a purge a few months ago and whittled down my friends list from about 140 to 80-85 people. And I don't even talk to about 90% of them!

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

By the way - now YOU have mail.

 

[Tallulah82]

By the way - now YOU have mail.

LOL - you didn't quote me - you just told all of UK. You sent mail to everyone here??? wow. Good job!

 

[Tallulah82]

I gotta go and do real life stuff. Be back laters. Mebbe.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

LOL - you didn't quote me - you just told all of UK. You sent mail to everyone here??? wow. Good job!

I know right - I'm hardcore.

And I'm going to find some trouble offline for a bit but I might be back later!
Be good, trouble!

 

[Tallulah82]

Well it is 10:30pm and I realise I haven't had my dinner yet...

Where did the evening go???

 

[MSH2]

Well it is 10:30pm and I realise I haven't had my dinner yet...

Where did the evening go???

I spent quite a bit of mine yelling at that french twat downstairs. He pretended he didnt understand