Two Dominants, One Submissive *Spin-Off Of Sir W's Poly Thread*

[BiBunny]

Okey dokey, I decided I'd hijacked Sir W's poly thread too much with my musings, so I thought I'd start my own. I'm going to post snippets from that thread in this one for brevity, but go here if you want the whole deal, which I do recommend because it's very interesting, and I tried to shorten things to their bare minimums here.

I'd be interested to see how the two dominants/one submissive model works. I know I've seen people say they couldn't imagine how it would work with two separate dominants, but I was more curious about, say, a dominant couple who brings in a submissive to serve the both of them.

Hmm. Fodder for another thread, perhaps?

My second response to you above indicates my preference for this thread to focus on the broader spectrum; however, I'd have no objection to - and would almost certainly contribute to - a thread exploring thoughts on the aspects of D/s poly-ism about which you're inquiring. I think that the two would have a number of areas of agreement, but an examination of the narrower area of D/s poly-ism would likely provide some notable differences.

I knew a dominant couple that had submissives about. The guy was an insufferable dickweed, so I can't say as how I was up on the internal workings of the relationship. I did get to know the Fdom half, and she basically said that they didn't play together, and had other folks to toy with as need be. I don't know that they ever kept communal property though.

If I see her again, I'll ask her more details. She's no longer with said insufferable dickweed, so she's a lot easier to deal with.

I know two tops who are married and have a kid. I think she's technically a switch, but she primarily tops. He IDs as a sadistic Dominant. For the most part, the submissives in their lives are for him, but she sometimes co-tops, and is involved with them in other more complicated ways. She's almost his relationship confidante, I think. As far as I know, their marriage is basically one of equals with some kinky sex thrown in. They satisfy their D/s needs outside of the marriage.

I know a dominant couple (married, totally in love/lust) that have a pet they both play with. Not sure the exact dynamic but it seems to work pretty well for them.

A dominant couple makes more sense. Two separate doms, one sub is a recipe for conflict. Two dominants in a close relationship with a mutual toy added in may well work much better. Could get interesting for the submissive.

it is possible, nay, highly recommended , for a couple of dom types to share a sub type. The "we share this toy" dynamic is great fun, and can be really healthy and beautiful - sub person gets lots and lots and lots of attention, doms bond over the shared project, and so on.

I'm specifically interested in the idea of two dominants who are involved with one another as a couple and share a sub/pet/slave/whatever, as opposed to other variations of the two-doms-one-sub theme. I know the knee-jerk reaction to this is "ZOMG, I could never serve more than one Dom/me, noooooooo!!!!!" But let's put those knee-jerk reactions aside for a moment, k? Thanks.

Ok, so the question is more than simply academic curiosity. (Imagine that, right?)

I've found myself in a very interesting situation. My Master and his wife (yes, she's kinky, and, no, it's not just to appease him) have been looking for a house pet for the two of them to share for some time. (All three of us are switches, just in varying degrees, if it makes any difference.) I asked him the other day if he'd have any objections to me approaching her and asking if I could basically apply for the position.

He was relieved, actually, LOL. It's what he's wanted all along, apparently, but he wanted me to be the one to mention it, so he wouldn't feel as if he influenced me in some way. So I approached his wife, and she responded pretty favorably to the idea. She and I will meet face-to-face for the first time on Friday.

Now, at the moment, the point is moot. I'm *his* slave, not *theirs*. But it is certainly something for me to think about and perhaps work toward if she and I hit it off and the interactions between the three of us go well.

If anyone's got any advice for me, I'll certainly take it, but that wasn't the sole purpose of the thread. I just wondered if anyone here has had any experience with or or knew anyone who has had with experience with this sort of two-doms-one-sub model.

This is, of course, a poly relationship. But I see it having far different implications than a PYL/pyl/pyl triad. I actually had a whole lot of pros and cons written out here, but then I deleted them because this post is long enough as it is.

Soooo...the PYL/PYL/pyl triad. What say y'all?

 

[notalwaysweak]

*ENVIES*

is what I say.

 

[slavekaity]

I'm a switch, more s than D, but I do Femdom work on Sir that
I guess he's decided that he wants me to find another sub for
us to work on together so he can find out just how much of a
Domme I can be. (I'm very new, only been with Sir for about
six months, he's my first real partner in BDSM.)

My situation is much more casual than what you're talking about,
but I think I will try to insist on clear rules for what games we'll
play, if he plays with her without me, all of that stuff out on the
table before I sign up. If your D/D/s is going to work, you will
have to do the same thing -- spell everything out beforehand.

But, yeah, total envies.

 

[BiBunny]

Thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences. I'm sorry yours was a painful one, Stag.

As for me, don't envy me yet, y'all. She and I haven't even met yet! (Even if we did spend nearly three hours last night talking dirty to each other on Yahoo messenger while Master made silly faces at me on his webcam and whined to both of us to get us to tell him what we were saying. We didn't, LOL. Let him wonder. He'll live.)

We've already done some talking about what will and won't happen so far. I know we should do more as we progress, but I think everyone's trying to go slowly at the moment, which is a good idea, IMO. I'd love it if anyone else has anything to add. Thanks again to those of you who have shared already.

 

[intothewoods]

The wife in the couple I mentioned told me that what she appreciates is being allowed to get used to a new partner of his at her own pace. She doesn't want to be best friends from the get go. If it happens, it happens. And she wants her limits respected. So seeing her husband do some things with someone else is fine, but not others. That's maybe more of a poly issue.

I can see the whole joint project aspect that bijou mentioned. I really got that vibe from this couple. He bounces ideas off her. They co-top at parties. Also, fwiw, this couple considers each other their primary partners, and they know everything the other person does with another pyl. Every aspect of the relationship. In that way, it really is like they're a team, which is great, but the pyl has to accept that aspect as well.

Of course everyone is different, so take it with a grain of salt.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Stag, sweetie, sometimes your posts just break my heart. For what it's worth, I make wishes often for your increased happiness.

I can share a bit about the DDs dynamic - I'd be a lot more forward but since it's other people I'm talking about too, I'll try to keep it sorta general for the sake of their privacy.

It's a tiny bit different - I'm involved with a couple who occasionally play with D/s, and I go in as a second Domme. The main thing I'd say about it is the same thing I'd say about any third person getting involved with any established dyad: your FIRST LOYALTY cannot be to either individual; it must, absolutely must be to the relationship that already exists. Secondarily of course there is probably one person that you're more involved with, or at least that's how it is here and how it usually is.

Being willing to say that you will never do anything that interferes with the existing dynamic is really important - mostly because holding to that will prevent enormous amounts of drama in the course of developing a relationship.

As to the sexual dynamic, there may be some similarities to your situation. The sub in this dynamic gets scads of attention, and I think tends to be more challenged when there is more than one person indulging various whims and desires. I don't think we go any easier on our lovely toy just because there are two of us playing. From what I've seen, you like to play pretty hard so this will be really satisfying for you if it works out.

It's a dynamic that's great for a sub who really likes a serious challenge. There's nothing so twisted and creative as two Dom/mes who are enthusiastically encouraging and detailing each other's ideas.

I really hope you get the ideal version of this; everyone in the situation can have a great deal of fun if the relationships are solid and affectionate. And even if you're not involved with both partners equally, as long as there's a lot of respect and their relationship is solid to begin with, (that's really really important) it can be a wonderfully solid structure.

 

[BiBunny]

Stag, sweetie, sometimes your posts just break my heart. For what it's worth, I make wishes often for your increased happiness.

I can share a bit about the DDs dynamic - I'd be a lot more forward but since it's other people I'm talking about too, I'll try to keep it sorta general for the sake of their privacy.

It's a tiny bit different - I'm involved with a couple who occasionally play with D/s, and I go in as a second Domme. The main thing I'd say about it is the same thing I'd say about any third person getting involved with any established dyad: your FIRST LOYALTY cannot be to either individual; it must, absolutely must be to the relationship that already exists. Secondarily of course there is probably one person that you're more involved with, or at least that's how it is here and how it usually is.

Being willing to say that you will never do anything that interferes with the existing dynamic is really important - mostly because holding to that will prevent enormous amounts of drama in the course of developing a relationship.

As to the sexual dynamic, there may be some similarities to your situation. The sub in this dynamic gets scads of attention, and I think tends to be more challenged when there is more than one person indulging various whims and desires. I don't think we go any easier on our lovely toy just because there are two of us playing. From what I've seen, you like to play pretty hard so this will be really satisfying for you if it works out.

It's a dynamic that's great for a sub who really likes a serious challenge. There's nothing so twisted and creative as two Dom/mes who are enthusiastically encouraging and detailing each other's ideas.

I really hope you get the ideal version of this; everyone in the situation can have a great deal of fun if the relationships are solid and affectionate. And even if you're not involved with both partners equally, as long as there's a lot of respect and their relationship is solid to begin with, (that's really really important) it can be a wonderfully solid structure.

I was hoping you'd chime in.

Thank you very much. I'm going to keep everything that's been said here in mind.

As an aside, it's less than 12 hours until we meet, and we're both scared to death, though me more so than her, I think. And him possibly more than both of us, LOL.

Keep your fingers crossed for me, y'all.

 

[Bi_Kitty]

*waits patiently for you to come back*

 

[BiBunny]

It went great, much better than I ever would have hoped. I just walked in the door about 30 minutes ago. I was certainly not expecting to be asked to stay the night the very first night, LOL.

At the moment, we have a tentative agreement for them to keep me. We'll see where it goes from there.

Random funny (at least to me): Master to his wife while the two of them were in the midst of playing with me, "Hey, baby? Can we have other people come play with our painslut?" Ok, so maybe it was just me, but for some reason, that was hilarious.

 

[Homburg]

YAY!! Glad to hear it

 

[BiBunny]

YAY!! Glad to hear it

Thank you. This whole mess is mostly your fault, anyway.

 

[Homburg]

Thank you. This whole mess is mostly your fault, anyway.

Pfft, all I did was cheer you on. You made the touchdown.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

It went great, much better than I ever would have hoped. I just walked in the door about 30 minutes ago. I was certainly not expecting to be asked to stay the night the very first night, LOL.

At the moment, we have a tentative agreement for them to keep me. We'll see where it goes from there.

Random funny (at least to me): Master to his wife while the two of them were in the midst of playing with me, "Hey, baby? Can we have other people come play with our painslut?" Ok, so maybe it was just me, but for some reason, that was hilarious.

Hooray!

Been away for a day or two so I just HAD to check in and see how it went.

You're right, that's a pretty funny moment.

I hope it was, and continues to be, everything you hope for and deserve. Yay for you all!

 

[Bi_Kitty]

YAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!! Bunny is happy! YAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!! *happy dance time*

 

[BiBunny]

Just a quick update, if anyone's interested.

I got summoned back here Monday afternoon, and I've spent the last couple of days here being tortured and cleaning house.

I am so blissfully happy. I'm leaving tomorrow because I have to go home and work, which sucks, but whatever. I'll be back next week, LOL.

This has gone so much better than I ever dreamed. I am officially their slave now. (Mistress calls me "Laundry Bitch," LOL.) Long-term plans are to (finally) get me finished with school and move me closer when my lease runs out in August.

I don't know. It's moving fast, which may be a mistake. But at the moment, I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life.

 

[Homburg]

*applauds and cheers!*

 

[Bi_Kitty]

Seriously, y'all I haven't seen this girl this happy ever. (Didn't know it was possible.)

 

[sexycaz22]

Congratulations on your updated news!

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Just wanted to say that I'm glad you found your happy, Bunny