Try This & Report Back

[josephanthony69]

Egad, I wish

Egad, I wish. I had a toy and he guilted me into getting rid of it. He's great in bed and I adore him, but he's got huge issues w/me masturbating. HUGE. So I never do it in front of him or tell him about it anymore.




If only it were that simple, lol. Something will work out though. Thanks for the luck and the advice...I will be happy to report back research efforts.

As an old "fart" let me tell you I would love to watch my SO enjoy herself and believe you me even offer to help - it might add some spark back !! Besides, toys can be fun and who knows you (or any other woman for that matter) better than you - from his perspective, he should be glad if you offer to show him what pleases you - it will make the entire love making experience that much better~~~~
based on some non scientific 'net research there are a lot of 40 something women who's men decide to sleep or otherwise have lost interest rather than pay attention - oh well - they really don't see what is being given away because of that!!

 

[Eilan]

he should be glad if you offer to show him what pleases you

He should be glad, but it seems that he's not.

Some men are truly offended by the implication that they might need a little help figuring out what turns their SOs on because they KNOW what women like, dammit!

 

[jacintexas]

He should be glad, but it seems that he's not.

Some men are truly offended by the implication that they might need a little help figuring out what turns their SOs on because they KNOW what women like, dammit!

Any time I can find ways to please my Lady more I'll listen and learn.. What pleasure I give her will always be returned in pleasure for me.. besides I get a lot of pleasure for seeing her pleasured..

 

[Eilan]

Any time I can find ways to please my Lady more I'll listen and learn.. What pleasure I give her will always be returned in pleasure for me.. besides I get a lot of pleasure for seeing her pleasured..

That's the mindset that men AND women should have.

 

[WaitingTesting]

If he's not sure, show him as well. Explain in minute detail what you wish for him to do, and I don't care whose religion he's basking in at the moment, he'll be back to ask for those directions again. And if he doesn't, have him thrashed.

I did this (last night before I read this) and it was a flat out flop.

but you're going to want to take some very proactive steps to fix these things if you want to stay married and/or happy.

Trying my ass off Erika, but wherein he used to appreciate my wanting him all of the time, he's now starting to think I'm a freak and care only about sex. I know because he's said that to me. I am honest and open with him, and it's not helping in the least.

I agree. Communication is crucial here. It is crucial that you communicate to him that he should join a friggin monestry if he doesn't think watching YOU masturbate isn't one of the sexiest things he'll ever see

I wish that were true. Communication seems to be hindering things, unfortunately.

I don't want anyone to think I'm in here downing my husband because I'm not. I love him very much. I'm just sexually frustrated beyond belief sometimes. We've only been married a little over a year, and sex has always been good for us, but recently I'm finding out he's really not as interested in making love as he used to be or used to portray that he was. In truth, and I know this is a girly thing to say, it makes me feel very hurt, unwanted and rejected. I brought up this technique to him, he said he wanted to try it and once we started he wanted to quit. We were only in bed for about five minutes. The kicker, and almost laughable moment was when he just stopped everything, got out of bed, put on his boxers, lit a cigarette and went downstairs, lol. It was just over. He asked me later if I was pissed, and I told him no, because I wasn't, but I told him I was a little hurt and felt like I don't turn him on. His response was to roll over to his side of the bed and read his book for the rest of the night. He never touched me once after that last night, or this morning when he got up, except for to come and give me a hug and a kiss goodbye and tell me that he loves me.

I truly, truly wish I could curtail wanting to make love all of the time, but in truth, I just find myself masturbating more and almost feeling resentful. Things are not looking promising for our sex life, to be sure. I'm not writing it off, just starting to realize we have very different ideas and needs about it.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Baby, you need to get some help, seriously. It sounds to me like your relationship has hit some kind of wall and if you don't get it figured out, your marriage will not last. I would strongly urge you both to go to a marriage counselor, because it sure sounds to me like this issue is bigger than sex.

There are dozens of reasons why a couple with a great sex life might suddenly stop having sex. This happens in every marriage, but if you don't talk about it and work through it, it will implode. If he's not able to talk about it alone, maybe you need someone outside, a pro, to help guide that along. It's what they do.

Something you said really concerns me:

...he's now starting to think I'm a freak and care only about sex. I know because he's said that to me.

That's not cool in the least. I'm not gonna sit here and bash your husband, but if he wasn't on his knees begging your forgiveness the next day then he's an idiot. What a stupid thing to say.

Now I do remember a time when my wife was having some medical issues when my sex drive was considerably higher (like 20 times higher) than hers, and this did cause some issues. The thing was though, I knew why she wasn't into it, and once we talked things through, we came to an understanding. The key was though that we talked it out. That's also how the masturbation discussion came up.

My wife was hurt to find out that I masturbated, because it made her think I wasn't enough for her. Well, at that time she wasn't and she knew that, and it made her feel guilty, which translated into anger. Still, when she came to understand that I wouldn't always choose her over masturbation and that it was something totally different from making love to her, it solved that problem.

The good news is that eventually we got all our issues worked out and now the problem I have is keeping up with her! We never would have gotten past this, or the other marital problems of that time though if we hadn't talked about it. If your SO's not willing to talk about it, it could be out of guilt, out of some wierd repressive conflict of emotion or he could just be an asshole deep down, though sounds like that's not the issue. Still I think the issue is with him, not you, because it doesn't sound like you have any unreasonable demands here.

There's just no other way around this until you find out what his problem is. Once you find that out, you can start to address it. My personal unprofessional opinion: if he has a problem with you masturbateing, using toys and trying new techniques, sure sounds like a confidence issue with his sexual prowess. Either real or imaginary, I'd say something is going on there and he feel sthreatened.

 

[WaitingTesting]

TBK, I'm very glad to hear you and the Mrs. are so into each other, and that you have a great communication thing going on. It's nice to 'hear' a man speaking in a manner so highly of his wife or s/o. Impressive.

I'm done whining now, lol. I do appreciate the ear though, from you and everyone else who replied to my posts. Back to the 'G' conversation: Good luck to everyone about to try it and congrats to those of you who have found the spot.

 

[josephanthony69]

no whining

Waiting - that wasn't whining it was just communication. Remember, if a partnership is to succeed - both sides are almost equal - sometimes one has a little more sometimes the other. If it bothers you - speak up - the worst thing to do is to stifle it..then it builds and then it breaks - either you, him or both..besides soda..lack of communication will drive your blood pressure up more than anything! Good Luck!

TBK, I'm very glad to hear you and the Mrs. are so into each other, and that you have a great communication thing going on. It's nice to 'hear' a man speaking in a manner so highly of his wife or s/o. Impressive.

I'm done whining now, lol. I do appreciate the ear though, from you and everyone else who replied to my posts. Back to the 'G' conversation: Good luck to everyone about to try it and congrats to those of you who have found the spot.

 

[ickle_stace]

TBK, I'm very glad to hear you and the Mrs. are so into each other, and that you have a great communication thing going on. It's nice to 'hear' a man speaking in a manner so highly of his wife or s/o. Impressive.

I'm done whining now, lol. I do appreciate the ear though, from you and everyone else who replied to my posts. Back to the 'G' conversation: Good luck to everyone about to try it and congrats to those of you who have found the spot.

tell him you'll stop sleeping with him altogether and you'll "start masterbating again" if he doesn't listen to you

 

[Randall Andy]

Phew

Phew...........Just finished reading all 71 pages of posts, from start to finish. I was sitting in bed miserable with the flu and came across the board. I was sort of intrigued and had a little time on my hands..... Firstly, thank you Mr GGG and crew for all the advice. I can't believe this thread is three years old and still running! Secondly, most of the advice here is top drawer stuff that is worth its weight in gold (or someother form of adult liquid currency ). Thirdly, I hope your immigration issues get sorted out. We thrashed through this process for years, it was most frustrating and I sympathize.

On to the matter at hand: I found my sweetheart's G-spot about a year ago whilst exploring "G-spot" toys (we like 'nubby G') - I have a bad habit of buying stuff online in "toy" stores and sending them to my sweetheart on biz trips so we have something to play with when I get back. Based on the explosive results from that experiment I learnt to master the finger version G-spot stimulation with the beckoning motion. Trouble is I got tremendous cramps in my forearm after 10 mins or so and no way could I keep this up for much longer. The thumb stimulation approach with her face down sounds far better. As for the spanking I have been trying to figure out how to fit that bit in. Thanks for the tip! It sounds delicous..... and I remember she came once just from spanking alone. This sounds like this combination should be perfect.

What I also hadn't figured out was to completely lay off the clit after the first orgasm and go JUST for the G-spot. I could make her cum a few times very hard but I always assumed the G-spot and the clit were somehow wired to the same circuit. Great fun and big orgasms, but not sustainable and certainly not some wild hour long ride. Evidently the clit and the G-spot are not wired together and I have been making a terrible mistake! Damn! Luckily I look forward to rectifying that.

Once I am no longer coughing and gross I will try this out and report results..........


A

 

[sailboatracer]

WaitingTesting, I'm in the same boat with my wife. We both need to find a suitable solution to our dilemma, maybe some of the more experienced, knowledgeable friends here can give us some ideas. PLEASE HELP US!

 

[psyche]

Phew...........Just finished reading all 71 pages of posts, from start to finish. I was sitting in bed miserable with the flu and came across the board. I was sort of intrigued and had a little time on my hands..... Firstly, thank you Mr GGG and crew for all the advice. I can't believe this thread is three years old and still running! Secondly, most of the advice here is top drawer stuff that is worth its weight in gold (or someother form of adult liquid currency ). Thirdly, I hope your immigration issues get sorted out. We thrashed through this process for years, it was most frustrating and I sympathize.

On to the matter at hand: I found my sweetheart's G-spot about a year ago whilst exploring "G-spot" toys (we like 'nubby G') - I have a bad habit of buying stuff online in "toy" stores and sending them to my sweetheart on biz trips so we have something to play with when I get back. Based on the explosive results from that experiment I learnt to master the finger version G-spot stimulation with the beckoning motion. Trouble is I got tremendous cramps in my forearm after 10 mins or so and no way could I keep this up for much longer. The thumb stimulation approach with her face down sounds far better. As for the spanking I have been trying to figure out how to fit that bit in. Thanks for the tip! It sounds delicous..... and I remember she came once just from spanking alone. This sounds like this combination should be perfect.

What I also hadn't figured out was to completely lay off the clit after the first orgasm and go JUST for the G-spot. I could make her cum a few times very hard but I always assumed the G-spot and the clit were somehow wired to the same circuit. Great fun and big orgasms, but not sustainable and certainly not some wild hour long ride. Evidently the clit and the G-spot are not wired together and I have been making a terrible mistake! Damn! Luckily I look forward to rectifying that.

Once I am no longer coughing and gross I will try this out and report results..........


A

Good for you, and I hope you feel better soon! Everyone around me at work is getting sick and I am praying that I don't get pulled into it.

I just want to say that there is nothing more incredible than cumming over and over again from g-spot stimulation until you think you are going to die and then your clit is touched. That brings to it a totally new feeling and just touching can make me squirt unbelievable amounts when I think I have been totally depleted in both energy and liquid reserves!

 

[dramaqueen47]

Ok, so I think I might have had a g-spot orgasm, I was masturbating and I felt all this really hit liquid run all over my hands. It didn't smell like pee, so is it possible that it was ejaculate?

 

[psyche]

Ok, so I think I might have had a g-spot orgasm, I was masturbating and I felt all this really hit liquid run all over my hands. It didn't smell like pee, so is it possible that it was ejaculate?

It sounds like it to me!

 

[eudaemonia]

Ok, so I think I might have had a g-spot orgasm, I was masturbating and I felt all this really hit liquid run all over my hands. It didn't smell like pee, so is it possible that it was ejaculate?

Ding, ding, ding! Congrats! You've just won the sexual lottery sweepstakes ...

 

[Gil_T2]

Phew...........Just finished reading all 71 pages of posts, from start to finish. I was sitting in bed miserable with the flu and came across the board. I was sort of intrigued and had a little time on my hands..... Firstly, thank you Mr GGG and crew for all the advice. I can't believe this thread is three years old and still running! Secondly, most of the advice here is top drawer stuff that is worth its weight in gold (or someother form of adult liquid currency ). Thirdly, I hope your immigration issues get sorted out. We thrashed through this process for years, it was most frustrating and I sympathize.

On to the matter at hand: I found my sweetheart's G-spot about a year ago whilst exploring "G-spot" toys (we like 'nubby G') - I have a bad habit of buying stuff online in "toy" stores and sending them to my sweetheart on biz trips so we have something to play with when I get back. Based on the explosive results from that experiment I learnt to master the finger version G-spot stimulation with the beckoning motion. Trouble is I got tremendous cramps in my forearm after 10 mins or so and no way could I keep this up for much longer. The thumb stimulation approach with her face down sounds far better. As for the spanking I have been trying to figure out how to fit that bit in. Thanks for the tip! It sounds delicous..... and I remember she came once just from spanking alone. This sounds like this combination should be perfect.

What I also hadn't figured out was to completely lay off the clit after the first orgasm and go JUST for the G-spot. I could make her cum a few times very hard but I always assumed the G-spot and the clit were somehow wired to the same circuit. Great fun and big orgasms, but not sustainable and certainly not some wild hour long ride. Evidently the clit and the G-spot are not wired together and I have been making a terrible mistake! Damn! Luckily I look forward to rectifying that.

Once I am no longer coughing and gross I will try this out and report results..........


A

AH the joys of a ladies body are there to explore by both her & you, my loverly lady/sub had a fine time this morning with her on her knees beside me giving me a fantastic BJ as I teased her clit & pussy opening bringing her to the edge over & over till I had her begging for me to put my fingers in her cunt (she hates using the C word) which I did & worked each of the 3 places that drive her nuts with the wanting to cum including the G spot which I was still stopping as she neared orgasm,I also waited till each near miss had settled then again attacked the clit or one of the 3 places in her pussy, then stopped & made her finish me off as I then had her on her side with me on mine as well now the riding crop came out to encourage her in her endevour to plase me so that I'd finish her off after it, as I swatted her butt with the riding crop she had the familiar shaking & tremors of orgasm but continued to suck my cock till i came deep in her throat.
It was then time for her so i had her back on her knees with the cum here motion till she erupted squirting, I eased up a bit & then went at it again & continued this for some time with a bit of light clit teasing as well (very touchy)& of course some rough clit work then back to the G spot for more till both were worn out leaving her twitching & shaking.
I then took to her butt with the flogger to see her take off on yet more orgasms.

Life is good.

 

[banjojtw]

Hi, been reading all of this thread - wow a lot of information. Well, anyhow, I tried this on the wife last week and nothing! She said it felt like I was trying to rub her to death with my thumb. Tried again last night while stimulating her clit. Finally she had an orgasm, but she thinks it was a combination of working her clit and g-spot at the same time. She definitely was not hyper-sensitive like when she has a clitoral orgasm. I tried to continue - but wasn't getting anywhere. Have any of the women noticed that this gets better the more they understand the feeling and the more they experience g-spot orgasms? I would really like to give my wife some multiples, as she normally has one big one and the fun is over.
Banjo

 

[Don K Dyck]

Hi, been reading all of this thread - wow a lot of information. Well, anyhow, I tried this on the wife last week and nothing! She said it felt like I was trying to rub her to death with my thumb. Tried again last night while stimulating her clit. Finally she had an orgasm, but she thinks it was a combination of working her clit and g-spot at the same time. She definitely was not hyper-sensitive like when she has a clitoral orgasm. I tried to continue - but wasn't getting anywhere. Have any of the women noticed that this gets better the more they understand the feeling and the more they experience g-spot orgasms? I would really like to give my wife some multiples, as she normally has one big one and the fun is over.
Banjo

Hi Banjo . . . welcum to Mr G's research project.

There appears to be an age factor (menopause related possibly) and also a "time of month factor" for some individual ladies. Also experience is important, and a slow start is reported elsewhere.

But those are my personal observations . . . others may have different experience . . . that is what makes this research project so much fun!!

 

[TBKahuna123]

Hi, been reading all of this thread - wow a lot of information. Well, anyhow, I tried this on the wife last week and nothing! She said it felt like I was trying to rub her to death with my thumb. Tried again last night while stimulating her clit. Finally she had an orgasm, but she thinks it was a combination of working her clit and g-spot at the same time. She definitely was not hyper-sensitive like when she has a clitoral orgasm. I tried to continue - but wasn't getting anywhere. Have any of the women noticed that this gets better the more they understand the feeling and the more they experience g-spot orgasms? I would really like to give my wife some multiples, as she normally has one big one and the fun is over.
Banjo

Welcome to the party! The answer is a big yes, women do seem to be able to have more orgasms the more they get used to the sensations. Don's right also, there does seem to be an age factor, but I think it's more of a hormonal thing. Women closer to menopause have different levels of estrogen/progesterone and this seems to affect their ability to orgasm from g-spot stimulation.

Keep on trying dude and she'll have those killer multiples. In the meantime, start doing some forearm curls to build up the strength in your wrists so you can keep up!

 

[MR.GGG]

Methinks that if the GSpot doesn't respond almost immediately then your safest course of action is to poke it a bit, do other stuff, gobble her, regular intercourse, rub her Gspot for a minute, gobble her some more - stuff - ANYTHING to keep from focusing on the fact that she may be slow to respond to GSpot stimulation.

I know for people who read this thread for the first time and have HUGE expectations it must be a huge letdown when nothing much happens but it seems the younger she is the more she has to be PRIMED big time before anything much happens. The object of the exercise should be to turn her on to the absolute MAX and do some probing to get some reaction. Ask for feedback. Some women feel quite uncomfortable when this first starts so just back off for a bit and do other stuff. Go back to it often because many many many PM and Emails that told me that NOTHING had happened have written back and let me know that it finally worked. As explained in here often ... once she knows the feeling and has cum once from GSpot rubs then it is quick and easy to get there forever-after.

If it doesn't happen right away then concentrate on everything BUT the Gspot and simply return there frequently and see what happens over time. Concentrating just on GSpot stimulation and high expectations seems to be the right formula for nothing much to happen. If you just do it on occasion maybe you'll be surprised by a rare and wondrous STEALTH ORGASM. Those are awesome and will catch BOTH of you by surprise. If she's never had a GSpot orgasm before and has a STEALTH one during a sneak attack then for heaven's sake don't forget what you've learned by reading the thread - keep her cumming for a minute or 5, let her catch her breath and then start again. She will cum again. Probably deeper and harder than the first one. From then on you can just keep her cumming until she is begging for mercy. Don't whatever you do let her cum only once because she has finally cum and you think it's time to celebrate. Wait until you've made her cum a dozen times or more and then you can let her thank you - if she can move.

 

[banjojtw]

Hi, thanks for the suggestions and the support. I will continue on the quest to bring her to multiple orgasms. Unfortunately she has it in her head that probably 2 orgasms is possible, but she's never heard of someone having multiples - so I will have to try to overcome her mental block. She wouldn't even think about reading this thread, a bit conservative in this department.I have a positive outlook on practicing though. We are in our early 30's, and it seems she is definitely enjoying sex more. Time will tell....

Banjo

 

[TBKahuna123]

We are in our early 30's, and it seems she is definitely enjoying sex more. Time will tell....

Banjo

This is pretty normal I think. Women at this age are becoming comfortable and aware of their bodies and I really think it has to do with the balance of hormones as well. right about 30 seems to be the age, beased on the unofficial research we've conducted here and elsewhere on the boards. I would keep working at it and when she finally does give in and has 6 or 8 or 30 orgasms in a row, you might actually get her to read this board in a quest to find more sexual goodies.

 

[discreetsabot]

Let's not forget Waiting

Let's not forget the young lady "waiting..." My dear, if you come back here, repeat after me. If you asked the untold millions of middley-aged couples who populate the planet earth what they thought of your dilemma, without regard to their beliefs and mores, whether they are called religious or secular or moral or hedonistic, they would every man and woman implore you to make your wishes known in no uncertain terms as a condition of your continued relationship. Go ahead, ask them.

 

[latebloomer124]

VC, Yes, I've heard it before. Lots before but it thrills me to the bone EVERY TIME another lucky lady reports in and adds her name to the growing list of suckcess stories.


I've been reading this thread for awhile. I showed it to my boyfriend and we tried it, but NOTHING HAPPENED!!!!!! I'm feeling like something's wrong with me and I'm very envious of all of the women who have had success with this.
Does practice make perfect, or should I just resign myself to the fact that I won't get to experience this?

 

[eudaemonia]

I've been reading this thread for awhile. I showed it to my boyfriend and we tried it, but NOTHING HAPPENED!!!!!! I'm feeling like something's wrong with me and I'm very envious of all of the women who have had success with this.

Does practice make perfect, or should I just resign myself to the fact that I won't get to experience this?

Well, you said in another thread that you are 18, and are still learning to have 'gasms from direct clitorial stimulation? Sounds like you're still exploring all the myriad of ways of cumming.

Maybe try not to put too much pressure on yourself just yet. You've already been having good 'gasms from pillow riding, which in your case may or may not be indirectly getting at the g-spot -- every woman is different. So, methinks your chances of having direct g-spot orgasms down the line is pretty good. And yes, practice does make perfect.

Buy a toy if you're in a rush to experience it, but IME it's more fun to play and play and play until you or you and a partner figure it out manually. (Nothing wrong with walking around totally aroused and titilated for awhile. It's a nice glow!) Once you know how your body works sans toys then you can really get down to business.