*True Confessions*

Status
Not open for further replies.
Re: Re: Re: Travel updates

nrcma98 said:
No doubt....Nothing kills the mood like getting sick on the ride.

I will do my best to eat right.

:D
 
A Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the driver that because he had been wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in the statewide safety competition. "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.



"Well, I guess I'm going to get a driver's license," he answered.



"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled a woman in the passenger seat. "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."



This woke up the guy in the back-seat, who took one look at the cop and moaned, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."



At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, in Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?"
 
http://cards.webshots.com/resources2/2/7482.gif

Im back!!
at least for the weekend!!!

Missed all you guys!!!

Happy belated birthday,sorry I missed it!!
Glad everyone is safe in florida
i worried about that all the time i was gone.
Keep on trying sis
you can do it
i know you can
I have faith in you!!
SS hope someday you wont need the painkillers
and just the drinks at the TC bar
We miss our bartender.
Get back here soon,liza
Hope you're having fun, dreamy
sorry you're having the feelings you're having
just look ahead to the fun October will bring.
Thanks for the laughs jeff
and the friendship.
 
Welcome Home Oman! Good to see ya, now go spend time with Jenny. Your time together seems so short these days. I hope that soon you will be toghether more, for both of your sakes.

Hope all the TCers are having a great weekend.
 
Opening Ceremonies At The Olympics

George W. Bush is at the stadium and begins his speech to open the Olympic Games: "Ooooo! Ooooo! Ooooo! Ooooo! Ooooo!"

An aide comes over and whispers: "Mr President, those are the Olympic rings, your speech is below!"
 
Off again
or as willy nelson would say
on the road again
Im headed back to chicago this morning
cya next weekend!!
Have fun
and take care of each other!!
 
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a
restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, '"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."
 
When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.
No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea." Replied the widow, "I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was."
 
Where is everyone????? Ok, we know Oman is enroute to Chicago.....but others???? I can't be the only student heading back to school this week.....Do I gotta dig deeper for more lame jokes? Hello?
 
No school for me ...Not yet ..but college does start soon ,and I plan on going with my daughter and attending a few classes as well...have a safe trip Oman ...wow now Jenny has to miss him all over again:rolleyes:
 
From a non-golf player

Why golf is better than sex

*=my comments

A below par performance is considered good.
*Golf wins here!

You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
*You can during sex.....especially if you share. You can even eat without stopping.

It's much easier to find the "sweet spot".
* Bullshit.

Foursomes are encouraged.
*And they're not in sex?!?!

You can still make money doing it as a senior citizen.
*Anyone can make money doing it....Your earning potential drops with age.

Three times a day is possible.
*I was 18 once....6 times a day was possible

Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you do it with someone else.
*Pick a different partner

If you live in Florida, you can do it every day.
*I can do it every day now....Oh DoS....c'mere

You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.
*Golf wins here too.

And best of all: If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it.
*Between Levitra, Viagra, and implants, who gets old and rusty anymore?
 
~Dream~ said:
No school for me ...Not yet ..but college does start soon ,and I plan on going with my daughter and attending a few classes as well...have a safe trip Oman ...wow now Jenny has to miss him all over again:rolleyes:

For Oman:

http://drawings.love.ecards.free.fr/ulybka-art/images/cloud-i-miss-you-1.jpg :heart:

Hi TCers! Yes, Dream, I'm back to missing him again! Might only be 4 sleeps though, but still unsure. Worst part is knowing he's driving 500+ miles each way!:(

Our weekend together went so quickly; he wasn't home until late Friday night, but the weather was nice. We even took some time to visit the zoo!

Hope everyone's week goes smoothly!

Thanks for the laughs, Jeff and InLust!:D
 
Hi gang.

We made it safely back to Florida... but don't even get me started about the return trip. It was a nightmare.

Today was the first day of preschool for my daughter, so she is in heaven.

I start work next Monday, and we move to our new townhouse on September 11. I have a lot to do in the next three weeks!

I hope you are all doing great! :rose:
 
Keep good thoughts for Mayi...The city in which she lives got nailed by barn burners and naders tonight.


Wonder when DoS will start posting more pics to her thread.
 
Dubya

There is no doubt that the following is entirely partisan, selected highlights of our current president's career. I daresay that if a similar evaluation of any one of us was done, none of us would come off particularly well ... however ... would any of us come off this bad????

For your consideration - George W Bush

COLLEGE:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

I was a cheerleader.

MILITARY:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and "allegedly" went AWOL.

By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.

My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my prior drug use.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry, I was elected governor of Texas.


ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing the popular majority vote.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury, passing Trillions in debt on to future taxpayers.

I shattered the record for creating the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 2-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in recent history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. President - all paid for by the U.S. taxpayers.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.


My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my good friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene - even when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I created the Department of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for least number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

After taking off the entire month of August, 2001, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. History.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the majority of U.S. Citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice while your fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, wives and husbands are losing their lives every day.


RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
 
Re: Dubya

SecretScribe said:
PLEASE CONSIDER WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

Being one that usually never discusses politics, I just had to quote this line.

With that said, hi everyone!

And now the important stuff, how much would I have to beg to see DoS's new jewelry? :D
 
Re: Re: Dubya

Curious_Fem said:
Being one that usually never discusses politics, I just had to quote this line.

With that said, hi everyone!

And now the important stuff, how much would I have to beg to see DoS's new jewelry? :D
Apparently not much...she asked me to post it.

:D
 
I so hate when people mix politics with my erotica. I picked excerpts for space sake.

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

and that is why California had to buy power from Texas during their greyouts, They are environmentally friendly and living in the dark.


I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

Yup and that is why crime is down in Texas.


With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing the popular majority vote.

Popular votes don't win elections in a Republic my friend. the Votes were counted innumerable times by entities as far left as the New York Times, Gore won a grand total of Zero times even by people that wanted him too after the fact. Get a grip.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

So you would rather terrorists still had Afghanistan to train in and Saddam Hussein still in power?

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury, passing Trillions in debt on to future taxpayers.

The economic trends were headed down after the Clinton Admin. The attacks of September 11th crashed the stock market. When that happens dollars become worth less and therefore debts rise. I do agree that Bush has spent too much money but more in the form of Farm welfare than miliary output.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in recent history of the U.S. stock market.

Do you actually remember September 11th? Well let me tell you friend when you see trucks around town that say "My Daddy died in the pentagon attack" it becomes real The market reacts to crisis and market conditions not the president.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

The poorest candidate running for Pres/VP George W. Bush, guess the richest.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my good friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

and then my Justice Dept. saw to putting him in Jail.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I suppose Gore drove his 5 year old chevy back and forth? please if you are going to debate point out differences.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene - even when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

Ummm look up the seventies with gas lines around the block and prices far higher than we have today. at least tell the truth when you Bash.

I created the Department of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

The creation incoperated primarily already existing entities under one Dept. Point is extremely misleading.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

The same human rights commision that was recently chaired by Libya and just added another african nation that recentky has been raping and torturing their own citizens.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I looked frantically and cannot find world court in our Constituion..

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

Um from what army genius? The Geneva Convention specifies that the enemy must wear the uniform of a soverign nation. Terrorists are not enmy combatants..


I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

You really want to turn over the decisions on who's el;ected in our own country to others in the world? Hint: Most of them take leadership with tanks

After taking off the entire month of August, 2001, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. History.

A Failure delivered by the intelligence policies of every administration to come prior to Bush's. He had 8 months to see clearly what noeone else was able to?

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

Other countries don't like us when we are pissed do they? France lost billions by the removal of Saddam Hussien. Every country who is angry was doing business illegally with Iraq.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the majority of U.S. Citizens, and the world community.

Pure BS, the support prior to invasion was hugely in favor. Congress voted for it Twice if you look back. Bush asked the UN for 14 months to do something to enforce it's own policies and when they didn't we did. BTW now we find that the UN was making Billions of the Oil for food program.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

Right Terrorists continue to attack innocent civilians world wide and the US is the biggest threat.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

Works good to fries those critters right up and they taste like chicken! NEWSFLASH: we have always had weapons of mass destruction genius, we inveted the nuclear variety.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice while your fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, wives and husbands are losing their lives every day.

Please tell us (it being so easy to do and all) exactly how you would capture him?


PLEASE CONSIDER carefully when VOTING IN 2004.
The original post semms like it would rather have "the World" decide our leaders and "The World" enforce our laws.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top