omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
*True Confessions*
- Thread starter Jewelz
- Start date
- Status
nrcma98
Here, there, and
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2001
- Posts
- 2,593
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED
"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE."
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED
"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE."
nrcma98
Here, there, and
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2001
- Posts
- 2,593
D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person . Can we get naked now?"
B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators or on airplanes.
N A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person . Can we get naked now?"
B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators or on airplanes.
N A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2001
- Posts
- 11,151
omahaman2 said:
Confession:
I'm GLAD I'm here!!
I'm happy that Oman is having an "early shift" today.
With so many mixes of emotions, I'm positively thrilled that I'm the luckiest lady I know!
Have a good weekend, TCers.
Wintermute
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2002
- Posts
- 2,000
Star Wars Vs. Star Trek
The Top 25 Differences Between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek"
25> "Star Trek": cardboard sets. "Star Wars": cardboard actors.
24> "Star Trek" fans sit in front of televisions watching reruns. "Star Wars" fans sit in front of theaters that won't even be showing the film.
23> Darth Vader needs the Force to make people gag. William Shatner merely acts.
22> Some Trekkies are now old enough to have moved from their parents' basement to the retirement home basement.
21> Lots of fans can speak Klingon, but only losers speak Wookiee.
20> "Trek": The bad guys are thinly disguised non-Americans. "Wars": The bad guys are thinly disguised Americans.
19> "Star Wars": buns on the head. "Star Trek": buns in the uniform.
18> Luke: "Well, not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock." C-3PO: "Not really, sir. Time travel and teleportation are more of a 'Trek' thing."
17> Lightsabers are powered by D cells, while phasers take a 9-volt.
16> Gene Roddenberry was a legendary pioneer of thought-provoking, futuristic science fiction. George Lucas created Jar Jar Binks.
15> Spock puts the TP on so it rolls over the top, whereas Vader likes it to roll underneath.
14> Wookiees and Ewoks vs. Tribbles and toupees.
13> Substantially harder to hand-make a Chewbacca Halloween costume than a Bones McCoy.
12> Besides the advantage of no one recognizing you, wearing the stormtrooper costume keeps that parents'-basement skin pasty white!
11> "Star Trek": Everybody likes Seven of Nine. "Star Wars": Nobody likes I of VI, or II of VI for that matter.
10> Shatner wears a girdle, but Jabba lets it all hang out.
9> "Star Wars" has the mystical power of the Force to lend gravitas to the adventure, but "Star Trek" has the mystical power of chicks with bigger hooters.
8> "Star Wars": Captain Solo always has a Wookiee at his side. "Star Trek": Captain Kirk always has nookie on the side.
7> In one, you live long and prosper. In the other, you live large and profit.
6> "Star Wars" fans don't refuse to honor the restraining order if it's not translated into Klingon.
5> Captain Kirk always says, "To infinity and beyond!" Darth Vader always says, "The Force is like a box of chocolates."
4> If Jar Jar Binks were on "Trek," Scotty would've given him a red shirt and beamed him down to a hostile planet during the opening credits.
3> Hard-core "Star Wars" fans are all overweight, unattractive, diabetic virgins who spend their free time and money building homemade lightsabers. Hard-core "Star Trek" fans are all overweight, unattractive, diabetic virgins who spend their free time and money building homemade tricorders.
2> Harrison Ford doesn't need to call 911 to ask if he should get his wife from the bottom of the pool.
And Topfive.com's Number 1 Difference Between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek"...
1> I have no idea. And that, fanboy, is why *I* am not a virgin.
The Top 25 Differences Between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek"
25> "Star Trek": cardboard sets. "Star Wars": cardboard actors.
24> "Star Trek" fans sit in front of televisions watching reruns. "Star Wars" fans sit in front of theaters that won't even be showing the film.
23> Darth Vader needs the Force to make people gag. William Shatner merely acts.
22> Some Trekkies are now old enough to have moved from their parents' basement to the retirement home basement.
21> Lots of fans can speak Klingon, but only losers speak Wookiee.
20> "Trek": The bad guys are thinly disguised non-Americans. "Wars": The bad guys are thinly disguised Americans.
19> "Star Wars": buns on the head. "Star Trek": buns in the uniform.
18> Luke: "Well, not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock." C-3PO: "Not really, sir. Time travel and teleportation are more of a 'Trek' thing."
17> Lightsabers are powered by D cells, while phasers take a 9-volt.
16> Gene Roddenberry was a legendary pioneer of thought-provoking, futuristic science fiction. George Lucas created Jar Jar Binks.
15> Spock puts the TP on so it rolls over the top, whereas Vader likes it to roll underneath.
14> Wookiees and Ewoks vs. Tribbles and toupees.
13> Substantially harder to hand-make a Chewbacca Halloween costume than a Bones McCoy.
12> Besides the advantage of no one recognizing you, wearing the stormtrooper costume keeps that parents'-basement skin pasty white!
11> "Star Trek": Everybody likes Seven of Nine. "Star Wars": Nobody likes I of VI, or II of VI for that matter.
10> Shatner wears a girdle, but Jabba lets it all hang out.
9> "Star Wars" has the mystical power of the Force to lend gravitas to the adventure, but "Star Trek" has the mystical power of chicks with bigger hooters.
8> "Star Wars": Captain Solo always has a Wookiee at his side. "Star Trek": Captain Kirk always has nookie on the side.
7> In one, you live long and prosper. In the other, you live large and profit.
6> "Star Wars" fans don't refuse to honor the restraining order if it's not translated into Klingon.
5> Captain Kirk always says, "To infinity and beyond!" Darth Vader always says, "The Force is like a box of chocolates."
4> If Jar Jar Binks were on "Trek," Scotty would've given him a red shirt and beamed him down to a hostile planet during the opening credits.
3> Hard-core "Star Wars" fans are all overweight, unattractive, diabetic virgins who spend their free time and money building homemade lightsabers. Hard-core "Star Trek" fans are all overweight, unattractive, diabetic virgins who spend their free time and money building homemade tricorders.
2> Harrison Ford doesn't need to call 911 to ask if he should get his wife from the bottom of the pool.
And Topfive.com's Number 1 Difference Between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek"...
1> I have no idea. And that, fanboy, is why *I* am not a virgin.
naughtygirl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2000
- Posts
- 6,884
nrcma98 said:
So how long did you wait in line for the new Star Wars movie???
naughtygirl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2000
- Posts
- 6,884
Hello my peeps! Long time no post! Been checking in on you now and then, just haven't been posting much. Everything is great here, just haven't felt like I have had much to say. But I wanted to tell everyone to have a wonderful 3 day weekend!
We are headed to Vegas for the weekend tomorrow because a friend of ours is getting married. Its going to be a great time!
Have a great weekend everyone and enjoy your holiday!
We are headed to Vegas for the weekend tomorrow because a friend of ours is getting married. Its going to be a great time!
Have a great weekend everyone and enjoy your holiday!
omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
naughtygirl said:Hello my peeps! Long time no post! Been checking in on you now and then, just haven't been posting much. Everything is great here, just haven't felt like I have had much to say. But I wanted to tell everyone to have a wonderful 3 day weekend!
We are headed to Vegas for the weekend tomorrow because a friend of ours is getting married. Its going to be a great time!
Have a great weekend everyone and enjoy your holiday!
NG!!!! SIS!!!!!!!
InLust
Dreamer in residence
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2003
- Posts
- 3,105
naughtygirl said:So how long did you wait in line for the new Star Wars movie???
Saw it last evening and not a moment spent in line. Not sure how, but we always make the list for the major releases (Star Wars was shown at 12:01AM opening day), but I have yet to wait in line any longer than the exceptable 5-10 minutes.
Either I'm getting old or Lucas is......this film just didn't have the wow factor I have come to expect from him.
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2001
- Posts
- 11,151
Saturday's confessions:
Even though there are two current Yankees I really like, I'm so happy to be watching today's game, and seeing Boston winning 12 runs to 0 in the bottom of the 6th inning! Go Edgar!! Renteria hit a grand slam! Wish he were still with the Cardinals, but they're doing fine without him!
Enjoyed a delightful and loving Friday late afternoon/evening and early Saturday morning thru early afternoon with Oman.
11PM seems such a loooong way away!
Missing being around the Broadway scene this time of year.
Wish I were heading to Vegas (with a ton of money!)
Have a great time, NG!!
Even though there are two current Yankees I really like, I'm so happy to be watching today's game, and seeing Boston winning 12 runs to 0 in the bottom of the 6th inning! Go Edgar!! Renteria hit a grand slam! Wish he were still with the Cardinals, but they're doing fine without him!
Enjoyed a delightful and loving Friday late afternoon/evening and early Saturday morning thru early afternoon with Oman.
11PM seems such a loooong way away!
Missing being around the Broadway scene this time of year.
Wish I were heading to Vegas (with a ton of money!)
Have a great time, NG!!
gina3
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2002
- Posts
- 4,619
JennyOmanHill said:Even though there are two current Yankees I really like, I'm so happy to be watching today's game, and seeing Boston winning 12 runs to 0 in the bottom of the 6th inning! Go Edgar!! Renteria hit a grand slam! Wish he were still with the Cardinals, but they're doing fine without him!
Enjoyed a delightful and loving Friday late afternoon/evening and early Saturday morning thru early afternoon with Oman.
11PM seems such a loooong way away!
Missing being around the Broadway scene this time of year.
Wish I were heading to Vegas (with a ton of money!)
Have a great time, NG!!
It's ALWAYS a great day when the Red Sox beat the Yankees!!
And when ANYONE beats the Braves
My Astros won too. What a great day for baseball!!!!
SuperShyGuy
Shy does not mean weak
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2003
- Posts
- 3,963
I liked Revenge of the Sith, I saw it today. But then again I specfically cheer for the Empire in the Star Wars films so going in this was a guaranteed winner for me. It was definitely the darkest of the Star Wars films, which otherwise for all the war in them tend to have a much more lighthearted feel, while in this one Obi Wan and Anakin got very personal in their fight, along with all the political games gave it a much darker tone. Overall I enjoyed it, but if one wasn't already familiar with the series (so if you're from a country without TV or movie theatres) this is definitely not the place to begin.
But by any standard, it was always only going to further point out what a crap movie Episode 1 was.
"Hard-core 'Star Wars' fans are all overweight, unattractive, diabetic virgins who spend their free time and money building homemade lightsabers. Hard-core 'Star Trek' fans are all overweight, unattractive, diabetic virgins who spend their free time and money building homemade tricorders."
I am NOT diabetic.
But by any standard, it was always only going to further point out what a crap movie Episode 1 was.
"Hard-core 'Star Wars' fans are all overweight, unattractive, diabetic virgins who spend their free time and money building homemade lightsabers. Hard-core 'Star Trek' fans are all overweight, unattractive, diabetic virgins who spend their free time and money building homemade tricorders."
I am NOT diabetic.
Last edited:
sortacurious
Je suis prête
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2002
- Posts
- 5,250
Stopping by to say I hope everyone is enjoying their Memorial Weekend. Life is still very good here, seems to get better every day. Just a little anticipation with hurricane season approaching, need to start getting emergency supplies and this year I'm insisting on a back up generator and small window A/C, just in case...
Our wedding plans are really starting to take shape. We have our location, timetable, and menu set with deposit paid. A great photographer is now booked, as well as tenative DJ and videographer. And most amazingly I have picked out The Dress!!!! Deposit has been paid to the bridal boutique and the order is in!!!! Ahhhhh, it's so beautiful! I can't wait to see Danny's face that first moment he sets eyes on me! This weekend, we designed and ordered Save The Date magnets and the vellum envelopes with matching return address labels. Geez, it's looking like we're really getting things accomplished now that I write it all out! Woohoo! I can't wait.
It's been a little bit of a rough weekend, this will be my first birthday without my brother, then his would-be 25th is coming up in a little over a week as well. So, I've been a little out of it, but I think I'm starting to get passed it. I guess this first year of milestones, usually spent with him will naturally be hard. But, Danny is so amazing, he just keeps loving me, supporting me, and understanding my need to feel these things in order to pick up and move on again. I can't even think of how I'd have gotten through it all without him.
I got to chat with SS for a few minutes this week! Not nearly long enough to catch up, but I was so happy to get the opportunity, and hope to connect with him again soon.
That's about all from our S. Florida retreat...except really missing my TC family and thinking of you all.
Our wedding plans are really starting to take shape. We have our location, timetable, and menu set with deposit paid. A great photographer is now booked, as well as tenative DJ and videographer. And most amazingly I have picked out The Dress!!!! Deposit has been paid to the bridal boutique and the order is in!!!! Ahhhhh, it's so beautiful! I can't wait to see Danny's face that first moment he sets eyes on me! This weekend, we designed and ordered Save The Date magnets and the vellum envelopes with matching return address labels. Geez, it's looking like we're really getting things accomplished now that I write it all out! Woohoo! I can't wait.
It's been a little bit of a rough weekend, this will be my first birthday without my brother, then his would-be 25th is coming up in a little over a week as well. So, I've been a little out of it, but I think I'm starting to get passed it. I guess this first year of milestones, usually spent with him will naturally be hard. But, Danny is so amazing, he just keeps loving me, supporting me, and understanding my need to feel these things in order to pick up and move on again. I can't even think of how I'd have gotten through it all without him.
I got to chat with SS for a few minutes this week! Not nearly long enough to catch up, but I was so happy to get the opportunity, and hope to connect with him again soon.
That's about all from our S. Florida retreat...except really missing my TC family and thinking of you all.
dansretreat
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2002
- Posts
- 153
Happy Birthday!!!
Just wanted to pop in to wish my baby a VERY happy birthday today. Sorta, you are my princess and only God knows how much I love and adore you.
All of my love, with all that I am.
Your Danny
P.S. Oman-November 4th...PM your address.
Just wanted to pop in to wish my baby a VERY happy birthday today. Sorta, you are my princess and only God knows how much I love and adore you.
All of my love, with all that I am.
Your Danny
P.S. Oman-November 4th...PM your address.
omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
dansretreat said:Just wanted to pop in to wish my baby a VERY happy birthday today. Sorta, you are my princess and only God knows how much I love and adore you.
All of my love, with all that I am.
Your Danny
P.S. Oman-November 4th...PM your address.
Danny,
sorta has it unless she lost it,
let me know.
Also,if you have a chance
please post in sorta's bday thread
omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
Wintermute
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2002
- Posts
- 2,000
Important Announcement!!!
It's my Birthday!!!
It's my Birthday!!!
Wintermute
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2002
- Posts
- 2,000
InLust said:
Thank you sweety! How are you doing?
- Status
