*True Confessions*

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Insane

You, I, and nobody (save for the President of the US Special Detail) would, being of Sound Stste-of-Mind take a bullet.
Bullets kill!
Only SPECIAL Kevlar vests prevent serious bodily injury. And head/grion shots extract a severe penalty.
You, I, and the masses cannot buy the body armor of the Presidential Detail.
Ergo, sane persons would not make the statement : "I would......."
You are, close if not, certifiably Crazy to make such a staement.
If you think that little of your life.....
Well.....
MJB
 
Leaves fresh coffee, orange juice, tea, scones, muffins , bagels and fruit for all to enjoy....

Sending out good thoughts and prayers to any or all who may need them
 
Wintermute said:
Thank you sweety! How are you doing?

Not bad. On summer break, working doing web design and other design work....not sure how long the job will continue; things pretty shaky...but such is the game of start ups :D How be things in your world?
 
Matthieub23 said:
You, I, and nobody (save for the President of the US Special Detail) would, being of Sound Stste-of-Mind take a bullet.
Bullets kill!
Only SPECIAL Kevlar vests prevent serious bodily injury. And head/grion shots extract a severe penalty.
You, I, and the masses cannot buy the body armor of the Presidential Detail.
Ergo, sane persons would not make the statement : "I would......."
You are, close if not, certifiably Crazy to make such a staement.
If you think that little of your life.....
Well.....
MJB

Well ...

1) welcome to TC, Matthieu ...

2) I think I completely fail to understand your post ...

SS
 
Leaves fresh coffee, orange juice, tea, scones, muffins , bagels and fruit for all to enjoy....

Sending out good thoughts and prayers to any or all who may need them
 
Abduction Precautions for Women

From Uncle Vincent's mailbag........

We can now add to the list of victims the retired 77 yr. old TCU professor
from Ft Worth whose body was found last week in Oklahoma--and the 11 yr.old
in Sarasota, FL. Because of these recent abductions in daylight hours,
refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...This is
for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you
know.

After reading this, forward it to someone you care about. It never hurts to
be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If
you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for
your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from
you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse
than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER
DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail
lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The
driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating,
working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect
opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your
head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE
DOORS AND LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side
floor, and in the back seat.

B..) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger
door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their
vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the
passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car,
you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman
to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible
places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even
then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you
raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well
educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.
He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle
or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a
crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police
because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her
"Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door."

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window,
and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The
policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's
cry recorded, and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that
someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had
several calls by women saying that they hear baby crying outside their
doors, when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby. This e-mail
should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was
mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana.
 
InLust said:
Not bad. On summer break, working doing web design and other design work....not sure how long the job will continue; things pretty shaky...but such is the game of start ups :D How be things in your world?
B-Day celebrations were excellent. I went up to Busch Gardens on Saturday and did get to ride SheiKra before the skies opened up. Spent some time with friends and family on Sunday. It's been nice.

Work has been a little wierd. My friend and former instructor that brought me on board retired for medical reasons last week and the remaining owner and I are in the process of finding a new functional investor. If things don't work out, I'm making preparation to seek employement else were. Already have a couple of interviews set up.

Anyhow, I miss you. We never get a chance to hang out anymore. :D
 
"1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If
you are close enough to use it, do!"

As a follower of mixed martial arts competition I found this a bit odd, being as elbow strikes are blatantly illegal in Tae Kwon Do. But the point does stand, becasue the elbow is the strongest part of the body, and a well placed elbow smash will do umpteen more damage than a punch ever will. "Elbows and knees are your friend in a time of trouble", that's a good self defense point for any woman to remember. You need almost no space to wind up, it does more damage than punching someone, and you're less likely to hurt yourself in the process.
 
Leaves fresh coffee, orange juice, tea, scones, muffins , bagels and fruit for all to enjoy....

Sending out good thoughts and prayers to any or all who may need them
 
Wintermute said:
B-Day celebrations were excellent. I went up to Busch Gardens on Saturday and did get to ride SheiKra before the skies opened up. Spent some time with friends and family on Sunday. It's been nice.

Work has been a little wierd. My friend and former instructor that brought me on board retired for medical reasons last week and the remaining owner and I are in the process of finding a new functional investor. If things don't work out, I'm making preparation to seek employement else were. Already have a couple of interviews set up.

Anyhow, I miss you. We never get a chance to hang out anymore. :D

Miss you too Love, been forever since I saw karaoke or boogied. Damn school and work screws with the social life.........

Got word today my job is as safe as anyone's there.......we are pretty much down to the meat of team. A few people, sales and operations, that aren't vital are all that's left to cut.......then it's "last one out turn the lights off". If you find an investor, see if he has a brother ;)

Glad to hear you had a good BDay. Been thinking about taking a day trip up to Busch gardens to check out that new rollar coaster.........man that drop sounds like a heart stopper!

:kiss:
 
SuperShyGuy said:
"1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If
you are close enough to use it, do!"

As a follower of mixed martial arts competition I found this a bit odd, being as elbow strikes are blatantly illegal in Tae Kwon Do. But the point does stand, becasue the elbow is the strongest part of the body, and a well placed elbow smash will do umpteen more damage than a punch ever will. "Elbows and knees are your friend in a time of trouble", that's a good self defense point for any woman to remember. You need almost no space to wind up, it does more damage than punching someone, and you're less likely to hurt yourself in the process.

Have to take your word on the legalities in Tae Kwon.....haven't a clue other than the uniforms look pretty comfy :D But even for a non martial arts person, makes sense to use the elbows and knees. The important thing is to keep your witts, use everything available and forget you are a lady....make that sucker pay for even concidering you as a possible victum. :mad:
 
Another from Uncle Vincent.......

A woman brought a very limp duck in to a veterinary surgeon. As
she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm
so sorry, your duck has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done
any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and
returned a few moments later with a black labrador retriever. As the duck's
owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments
later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed
delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches,
shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said,
this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck." Then the
vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the
bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!"


The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the
bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's
now $150.00."


I'll be the first.......groan :rolleyes: :D
 
remember my trip to Vegas ?

well I went. :devil:
I discovered "old vegas" what they call the "freemont experience" on the last night of our trip. I LOVED it. Sure wish we would have found it earlier.
I discovered a love of greenapple martinis & chocolate martinis & white chocolate martinis............... a far cry from my "ole' Alabama slammer" of yester-year! Actually I may have consumed a few to many martinis on that trip & since I got back to the South. :D
We went to a strip club in "old vegas", I had a fabulous time watching one particular woman. I do mean woman. She was real-all of her & yes you can tell without touching. I might have considered a back room visit with her. I am just not sure how much this stuff costs. I know the husband does. He used to frequent the neighboring state quite often with his pals. That was the 2nd time ever that I have been to a strip club & I willl defintely being going back.......just not anywhere close to home. I may have to plan a few "weekend excursions" for the husband & myself SOON!
There really isn't a lot to tell- I am pretty shy about sex stuff unless I am totally plastered & then I don't care what I say to anybody.
I know I had absolutey FABULOUS sex at 3 am when my flight left at 6:30 am! Then because I get sleepy when I cum & I was so completely consumed with green apple martinis, I had to ask my hubby on the flight home....if he got all off after I passed out. ROFL! He says we finished up at the same time & that I giggeld & fell asleep. :eek:

Now guys I have a question or two?
 
FOR JEFF


What was the film called where Luke Skywalker got a manufacturer's recall notice on his Volkswagen?

Return of the Jetta
 
Leaves fresh coffee, orange juice, tea, scones, muffins , bagels and fruit for all to enjoy....

Sending out good thoughts and prayers to any or all who may need them
 
omahaman2 said:
FOR JEFF


What was the film called where Luke Skywalker got a manufacturer's recall notice on his Volkswagen?

Return of the Jetta
You called me out for that?!?!?


Sheesh.





Domino....what's the question?
 
The Year 1905

Maybe this will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The year is 1905,
one hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes!

Here are some of the U.S. statistics for 1905:

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.

There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated
than California.

With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most
populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents an hour.

The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist
$2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a
mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at home.

Ninety percent of all U.S. physicians had no college education.

Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in
the press and by the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg
yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for
any reason.

The five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to
the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was 30!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two of 10 U.S. adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at
corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the
complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels,
and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

Eighteen percent of households in the U.S had at least one full-time
servant or domestic.

There were only about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.
 
Leaves fresh coffee, orange juice, tea, scones, muffins , bagels and fruit for all to enjoy....

Sending out good thoughts and prayers to any or all who may need them
 
Not from the uncle.....but still pretty lame

Two women are new arrivals at the Pearly Gates, and are comparing stories on how they died.

1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold,I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the living room watching TV.

1st woman: So what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere,that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every bedroom and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died!

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd both still be alive.
 
here is the question

I am afraid that if I tell my husband that I want to start going to female strip clubs, he is 1) going to be so excited , he will cum on the spot
or 2) think I am going bi. (which if it weren't for moral & religious beliefs I so would have done by now :devil:
or 3) he is really going to start hounding me for a 3 some. FmF

I just think I might should keep my mouth shut. I really really REALLY considered getting a lap dance in Vegas, when he asked- but I am a big chick and I might have just crawled under the floorboards instead. :eek:

Also- yes, he knows I have an attraction for other women- they do after all have the most beautiful bodies! But he really doesn't get (I don't think) that I would bed one in a bout 2 heartbeats if given the chance. :catroar:
 
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