*True Confessions*

[Freya]

Freya,

I'm not arguing with you girl. I know you're right. It just goes against every fiber of my being to just walk away from someone I loved. My family thinks I'm nuts. I know this is an unhealthy relationship, which is why I ended it, TWICE!

Right now Sinatra is Witchcraft and I swear that's what it is. It's like I'm under a spell I can't break. I need to just turn my back completely but that's probably the hardest thing for me to do.

I know hun..I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are in.

Not even in the same league...but my best friend was a raging alcoholic. I always took care ofher, lied for her, made sure she didn't get raped by some stranger in a bar etc etc. Did that for years, until finally I had to say "Hey you are an adult, from this point forward you are responsible for your own actions" Was the hardest thing I ever did, went against every grain in my body to stop cleaning up after her...but for my own sanity, and to hopefully have her realize that she needed to face things on her own..I had to do it.

 

[Soron]

Well, Ive gotta open up in a couple of hours so Im done for the night....

SS, looks like you are in good hands.....

Soron, take care of yourself, man....

FREYA, looking as gorgeous as usual....

RED and SC...very colorful dreams ladies.

DAN, Hello and welcome, I cant offer any advice...Cus I cant seem to keep my own life straight... except to be true and honest to yourself......first and foremost...

Pleasant dreams,

nite KK

 

[Freya]

Well, Ive gotta open up in a couple of hours so Im done for the night....

SS, looks like you are in good hands.....

Soron, take care of yourself, man....

FREYA, looking as gorgeous as usual....

RED and SC...very colorful dreams ladies.

DAN, Hello and welcome, I cant offer any advice...Cus I cant seem to keep my own life straight... except to be true and honest to yourself......first and foremost...

Pleasant dreams,

Night love.

 

[SecretScribe]

Dan,

I have never been in your situation. So take anything I say witha grain of salt. YOu are in a situation where there is no perfect outcome. There is pain, lots of it, in any exit.

DOn't loet yourself be dragged back to square one. You don;t have to go there even if you continue to be her gaurdian angel. Realize that she will continue to do this to you (get your attention). If possible, she wants you back at square one. It's up to you as to whether or not you make a clean break, accepting the possible consequences to her and to your own emotions if she should take her life).

But if you decide that you must still take a responsibility for her, it doesn't mean you have to go back to square one. You can't. It will destroy you, possibly worse than whatever you have already gone through. YOu must continue to go forward with own life. You must let her know that you are going to do so. You may still care for her (in the sense of giving care), but you must continue to move on.

It would be great if she just moved on as well, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards. Only you can decide what course you need to take from here, but for your own health it can not be back to the way it was. that's negative and you must be positive. Help her to move forward if you can, but you must move forward. YOu have already determined that pair of you is a no go. The only question is how to handle what is now coming.

Yes, I've babbled. It's only what I feel and I've never been where you are. I wish you the wisdom of Soloman... for surely you need it

(goes for you too SC).

(((dan)))
(((sc)))

 

[dansretreat]

SC - Thanks for the support. I'm sorry you're going through the same shit. I thought I was past all this but like Pacino in Godfather III "They keep pulling me back in!" Just trying to joke, the cigar is helping! Listen, I've been through this twice, if you need to vent, PM me ok?

Red - I can only imagine what that's like with your hubby. The part that freaked me out is she never did this before. No sign of it whatsoever. Well, at least not any sign that I saw, they may have been there, I don't know anymore. Thanks for the support!

 

[sortacurious]

Well, Ive gotta open up in a couple of hours so Im done for the night....

SS, looks like you are in good hands.....

Soron, take care of yourself, man....

FREYA, looking as gorgeous as usual....

RED and SC...very colorful dreams ladies.

DAN, Hello and welcome, I cant offer any advice...Cus I cant seem to keep my own life straight... except to be true and honest to yourself......first and foremost...

Pleasant dreams,

*blowin my bestest sweet dreams kisses to ya*

 

[redelicious]

oh I'm doing excellent thank you

love your dress

That's great

Why thank you, I had hopes you would

 

[redelicious]

Well, Ive gotta open up in a couple of hours so Im done for the night....

SS, looks like you are in good hands.....

Soron, take care of yourself, man....

FREYA, looking as gorgeous as usual....

RED and SC...very colorful dreams ladies.

DAN, Hello and welcome, I cant offer any advice...Cus I cant seem to keep my own life straight... except to be true and honest to yourself......first and foremost...

Pleasant dreams,

Nite KK - sweet dreams to you too

 

[SecretScribe]

Well, Ive gotta open up in a couple of hours so Im done for the night....

SS, looks like you are in good hands.....

Soron, take care of yourself, man....

FREYA, looking as gorgeous as usual....

RED and SC...very colorful dreams ladies.

DAN, Hello and welcome, I cant offer any advice...Cus I cant seem to keep my own life straight... except to be true and honest to yourself......first and foremost...

Pleasant dreams,

Bye KK, thanks for the Mezcal

Keep yourself healthy, ok, bro?

 

[sortacurious]

Dan,

I have never been in your situation. So take anything I say witha grain of salt. YOu are in a situation where there is no perfect outcome. There is pain, lots of it, in any exit.

DOn't loet yourself be dragged back to square one. You don;t have to go there even if you continue to be her gaurdian angel. Realize that she will continue to do this to you (get your attention). If possible, she wants you back at square one. It's up to you as to whether or not you make a clean break, accepting the possible consequences to her and to your own emotions if she should take her life).

But if you decide that you must still take a responsibility for her, it doesn't mean you have to go back to square one. You can't. It will destroy you, possibly worse than whatever you have already gone through. YOu must continue to go forward with own life. You must let her know that you are going to do so. You may still care for her (in the sense of giving care), but you must continue to move on.

It would be great if she just moved on as well, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards. Only you can decide what course you need to take from here, but for your own health it can not be back to the way it was. that's negative and you must be positive. Help her to move forward if you can, but you must move forward. YOu have already determined that pair of you is a no go. The only question is how to handle what is now coming.

Yes, I've babbled. It's only what I feel and I've never been where you are. I wish you the wisdom of Soloman... for surely you need it

(goes for you too SC).

(((dan)))
(((sc)))

You are a very wise man SS!

 

[Soron]

That's great

Why thank you, I had hopes you would

I always smile like that after a couple of drinks

 

[sortacurious]

SC - Thanks for the support. I'm sorry you're going through the same shit. I thought I was past all this but like Pacino in Godfather III "They keep pulling me back in!" Just trying to joke, the cigar is helping! Listen, I've been through this twice, if you need to vent, PM me ok?

Red - I can only imagine what that's like with your hubby. The part that freaked me out is she never did this before. No sign of it whatsoever. Well, at least not any sign that I saw, they may have been there, I don't know anymore. Thanks for the support!

Hard as it is to imagine myself as Pacino, I actually related to that quite a bit! lol

Hmmmmm, maybe I should take up smoking cigars....

Thanks hun, I appreciate that!

 

[SecretScribe]

You are a very wise man SS!

No. Just a guy who is saying what he feels. And worries that he'll lead somebody to a bad decision. Playing Miss Manners is a dangerous thing. But it's what this thread is really all about, I guess. Or I'd just sut up and play the genteel drunk in the corner.

 

[redelicious]

SC - Thanks for the support. I'm sorry you're going through the same shit. I thought I was past all this but like Pacino in Godfather III "They keep pulling me back in!" Just trying to joke, the cigar is helping! Listen, I've been through this twice, if you need to vent, PM me ok?

Red - I can only imagine what that's like with your hubby. The part that freaked me out is she never did this before. No sign of it whatsoever. Well, at least not any sign that I saw, they may have been there, I don't know anymore. Thanks for the support!

In my case it is just a threat - he does it for attention, for intimidation, and to make me feel guilty. I find it helps if I am very matter of fact about it. As in, "ok then, get in the car and I will take you to the local treatment center so they can help you."

Because if he really is going to do it, then that's where he needs to be and if he's not then I am calling his bluff.

I know I sound harsh, but that's how I have to deal with it.

 

[dansretreat]

Red - You're right. It is guilt. I feel guilty because I feel like I failed as a husband. And by rushing to her side I guess maybe I'm trying to make up for that failure in my head. I don't know. I only know Freya is right, I need to end this, permanently.

SS - thank you SO much. Really, It helped. I know that I'm facing pain no matter which path I choose. I guess I let the fantasy of her being ok and moving on with her life engulf me for these last several months because it just felt so damned good, you know? But I knew it was just a fantasy. I can't end a 17 year relationship without going through some emotional hell I guess. I just feel like shit about it and that's not good for someone who spent two years in a DEEP depression before finally getting help. But I'm a stronger person now and I'm mentally in such a betterplace than I was just 4 or 5 months ago so I just need to do it. Doesn't make it any easier though.

 

[redelicious]

I always smile like that after a couple of drinks

Well then have a few more - its nice to see you smile.

 

[SecretScribe]

In my case it is just a threat -

Sorry Red. I guess I hadn't paid enough attention. Didn't realize you too had this sort of emotonal dumping going on.

Hugs for you to and hope of the same wisdom
(((red)))

 

[Freya]

Red - You're right. It is guilt. I feel guilty because I feel like I failed as a husband. And by rushing to her side I guess maybe I'm trying to make up for that failure in my head. I don't know. I only know Freya is right, I need to end this, permanently.

SS - thank you SO much. Really, It helped. I know that I'm facing pain no matter which path I choose. I guess I let the fantasy of her being ok and moving on with her life engulf me for these last several months because it just felt so damned good, you know? But I knew it was just a fantasy. I can't end a 17 year relationship without going through some emotional hell I guess. I just feel like shit about it and that's not good for someone who spent two years in a DEEP depression before finally getting help. But I'm a stronger person now and I'm mentally in such a betterplace than I was just 4 or 5 months ago so I just need to do it. Doesn't make it any easier though.

It will be hard hun, and unfortunately it's a weight you must carry pretty much alone. But you do have friends here should you need to unload a bit of that weight anytime.

 

[sortacurious]

No. Just a guy who is saying what he feels. And worries that he'll lead somebody to a bad decision. Playing Miss Manners is a dangerous thing. But it's what this thread is really all about, I guess. Or I'd just sut up and play the genteel drunk in the corner.

We wouldn't want you any other way than exactly how you are!

And I've made it a personal goal to have people in my life that say it like it is. I don't like having to try and figure out what people are really thinking, I'd rather hear it straight up even if I don't like what they are saying.

 

[SecretScribe]

We wouldn't want you any other way than exactly how you are!

And I've made it a personal goal to have people in my life that say it like it is. I don't like having to try and figure out what people are really thinking, I'd rather hear it straight up even if I don't like what they are saying.

SC -- every one has layers. Some expose more tha others, But there are always more layers. Don't forget that.

 

[redelicious]

Sorry Red. I guess I hadn't paid enough attention. Didn't realize you too had this sort of emotonal dumping going on.

Hugs for you to and hope of the same wisdom
(((red)))

Hey SS - it's ok. A lot happens here and there is no way you could catch everything.

I appreciate what you wrote

 

[Soron]

Freya's right Dan...I'm going through something I don't want to, but have to...for someone elses best interests and I sure as hell knew it would hurt but not like this...all you can do is the best you can and rely on people who care for you

*cilmbs down on off the soapbox*

Red darlin', I don't need anymore to drink sitting here with you is enough to make me smile

 

[dansretreat]

Ok, the sinatra CD ended, the frangelica bottle is empty and my macanudo has burned down to the band, guess that means it time to go to sleep (yea right, who am I kidding).

Thanks to everyone for their support. I sincerely mean that. I'm so thankfull to my angel for bringing me into this group of great people. Hugs to everyone! I'm thankful to have someplace to vent and get feedback, that's half the battle.

Jewelz angel, see you tomorrow.

 

[redelicious]

Freya's right Dan...I'm going through something I don't want to, but have to...for someone elses best interests and I sure as hell knew it would hurt but not like this...all you can do is the best you can and rely on people who care for you

*cilmbs down on off the soapbox*

Red darlin', I don't need anymore to drink sitting here with you is enough to make me smile

I am sorry you are going through this.

You are too sweet to me

*blushing*

 

[SecretScribe]

* SS leans back into couch as dan leaves *
* needs to snuggle now more than ever *
* the pain that people inflict on each other *
* just snuggles, needing warmth, love, compassion *

Bye dan. all my best goes with you

(good choice onthe macanudo - always my favorite)