*True Confessions*

[sortacurious]

hmmmm, do you get the impression he's drunk?

 

[naughtygirl]

lol I think so! Sorta Im surprised he even managed to log in to Lit! and then was able to type lol

*hopes he had fun and is a happy drunk!

NG

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Hi all *peeks head into room*

*just woke up from a great nap...and a very sexual dream...something about me being in a house similiar that one like in the movie "The Others" and being taken by several different servants-- damn, it was hot!

*declined invite to barbeque, is going to canyon to watch fireworks tonight

*still needs to clean house

*seems to have missed the opportunity to comfort several friends on Lit. Hope Sorta and Jewelz are ok . Hopes Sorta hears word about brother soon...that is a hard thing. My mother was in NYC day of the attack and down near the Federal courts, just a few blocks away.....took all day to get in touch with her and feel that she was safe. I understand, Sorta!!!! You are in my thoughts

*received a very sweet email... he makes me blush...still wondering what in the hell I did to deserve any of it

NG

Hi NG, Did you say in one of your threads that like me you have ADD?

 

[Don K Dyck]

SC...I rarely go into details....familiar huh, but because your post causes me a great deal of concern I will. I spent 17 yrs. in an abusive marriage, for me, most of the abuse was emotional. Threats, veiled and open, belittling statements that made me question my self-worth, separating me from friends and family that would be supportive of me...and physical violence although not directed at me physically, but done in an effort to make me believe that it could very easily be me he hit next. I stayed all of those years thinking I was doing it for my children, never realizing the toll it was taking on them.
My failure to get out of an abusive situation ultimately led to his abuse of our daughter. That broke the cycle of fear and I got out. I so wish I'd taken the steps years earlier and saved her from going through all of that.
There are places you can go to for help....please don't stay in a relationship where your SO scares you or makes threats like that.

See, I wasn't always the fiesty one.... I've just finally let that side of me out.

Well done Feisty!! It takes great courage to get out of any relationship - but you did it and are a better person for it.

NOBODY deserves abuse, ANY ABUSE, emotional or physical. And yes, the kids do scar, but they also heal with patient loving away from the hurtful situation.

We don't get out because of many reasons, but mainly because we don't realise that we are worth more than we are getting.

{Thinks - just love rambunctious redheads!}

Be there, done that - glad I'm here now.

You done good, Feisty.

 

[NoOtherName]

Musings on another sleepless night:

*Wide awake again...knowing I'll be dead tired in a couple of hours when it's time to go to work. Interesting that some people think being up to watch the sunrise is a good thing...go figure.

*Spent the last 14 years helping to raise and support someone else's children while we fought to get them out of a neglectful and abusive situation. Now that they're in a safe place, I selfishly fear that they won't need me anymore. I have no idea what I would do without them.

*Grew up an only child...can be smothering.

*Overwhelmed by my guilt at not being able to be what my parents want or need me to be. They've become so old and feeble and needy that, no matter how hard I try, they just make me feel like I'm trapped in a corner with no way out. Sometimes I just don't want to try.

*Found out a couple of years ago that I had 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Was at first elated, then panicstricken. Communicated a lot by IM and e-mail. Then I guess they got tired of waiting for me to get up the courage to actually meet in RL, so they just kind of disappeared. Even blocked me from their buddy lists. Feel very sad and betrayed. Alone again...

*Have been with many men...well, maybe not many...several?...but was never able to overcome my trust and intimacy 'issues' enough to really develop a relationship.

*Have also been attracted to some women, but know I'll never have the courage to make the first move.

*Was never much of a Seinfeld fan, but remember an episode where George was in the coffee house saying something like, "I can't imagine a situation arising where I'll ever have the opportunity to have sex again." The laugh track kicked in and I cried.

*Can't remember ever feeling like I really belonged anywhere or was a true part of anything.

*Sometimes stare in a mirror and wonder, "Who the hell are you and why won't you leave me alone?"

*When will I be loved? Never, you idiot...what a stupid question...

*Drowning in her loneliness
Desperate in her despair
She slipped away unnoticed
For no one ever knew
That she was really there

 

[Don K Dyck]

Plan tomorrow, Live today, Forget the past.

*Interesting that some people think being up to watch the sunrise is a good thing...go figure.

*Grew up an only child...can be smothering.

*Overwhelmed by my guilt at not being able to be what my parents want or need me to be.

*Found out a couple of years ago that I had 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Was at first elated, then panicstricken. Communicated a lot by IM and e-mail. Then I guess they got tired of waiting for me to get up the courage to actually meet in RL, so they just kind of disappeared.

*Have been with many men...well, maybe not many...several?...but was never able to overcome my trust and intimacy 'issues' enough to really develop a relationship.
*Have also been attracted to some women, but know I'll never have the courage to make the first move.

*Can't remember ever feeling like I really belonged anywhere or was a true part of anything.

*Sometimes stare in a mirror and wonder, "Who the hell are you and why won't you leave me alone?"

*When will I be loved? Never, you idiot...what a stupid question...

*Drowning in her loneliness
Desperate in her despair
She slipped away unnoticed
For no one ever knew
That she was really there

Hi NON, Glad to see that you've joined this extraordinary Lit family.

I'm only new here but they really make you feel at home, nice friendly people.

Crazy families are a bitch, I know from personal experience. But just imagine, here in Oz, over half the present population of school children have some crazy family structure other than their two natural parents.

Parents are strange, in my case, my kids were expected to live up to the ideals I had been unable to achieve. Still they proved their resilience by not only surviving, but excelling even my achievements in all fields.

The world is what we make it for ourselves, so make it good for yourself. You are a beautiful person.

 

[Ladybird]

I've just read thru the last half dozen pages here, and I'm saddened at the pain that some people are carrying.

Many of us.. myself included, have issues concerning our parents and our partners.

A dear friend sent this to me, and it helped me tremendously. It was as though I was being given permission to let go of the painful memories.

I hope it helps others here too... male and female.


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

~ One old love she can imagine going back to...

and one who reminds her how far she has come...

~ Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own,

even if she never wants to or needs to.

~ Something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour..

~ A youth she's content to leave behind...

~.A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age...

~ A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

~ One friend who always makes her laugh….

.. and one who lets her cry.

~ A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

~ Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honoured.

~ A feeling of control over her destiny.


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

~ How to fall in love without losing herself.

~ How to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

~ When to try harder... and when to walk away...

~That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips,
or the nature of her parents...

~ That her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

~ What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

How to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

...whom she can trust, whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

~ Where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

~ What she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...

~ Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.

 

[Jewelz]

Good morning my dear friends!!!!!

Just wanted to send big hugs to all those who have done confessions since I left yesterday afternoon. My love is with all of you.

*Approx 15 hours until I am in his arms.

*Very very scared to fly

*Dont wanna leave my baby girls behind. That is very hard on me

*Isnt too proud to ask for prayers and positive thoughts from all my friends that my flights go smoothly and I arrive safely to Phe and safely back home Tuesday to my babies.

*Am going to go soak in the hot bath in just a lil bit to calm me and meditate

*Missing my daughters already *tears*

*Will miss all of you greatly but my god my dream is about to come true

*the birds are singing so pretty this morning

*thanks LadyBird for a wonderful message!!

*thanks those of you who have sent me uplifting and encouraging PMs....have meant alot to me

LOVE YOU FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!

And PHELAN baby...I love you forever and always. Thanks for loving me enough and giving a part of myself back to me and for being the man I have been looking for all my life. You complete me. You are my everything. And tonight, we will finally be able to celebrate that love. To kiss you, to touch your face, to look deeply into your eyes and get lost hoping never to be found, to crawl into your heart and stay there forever, to sleep nuzzled against you and to be able to hear you whisper that you love me while I lay in your arms.....no phone, no computer....but in body. You have captured my heart, intrigued my mind, seduced my soul and I am so very blessed to have your love. Tonight baby. Tonight.

 

[naughtygirl]

Early morning confession

*just was a bad bad girl. really bad.

*in the midst of my emotional unravelling last night, well actually at about 2am this morning, my ex IMed me

*went blindly over to his house, cried in his bed for 2 solid hours while he held me and stroked my hair and whispered sweet words into my ear

*fears that I made a big mistake. doesnt want to mislead him or hurt him anymore than I have. im not trying to play games with him. i hate game players.

*just left there, not wanting to be back in his bed (but at the same time desperately wanting to be back there)

*scares me cause D. was the first person since my ex in NYC that I have been truly emotionally intimate with. its a hard thing for me to give up but feels like i should cause of where he is in his life, dont think we ever had much of a future

*best friend claims it is because I am chicken to let myself go because we were together almost a year....uh oh scary. we are tallking committment here after all!

*agrees with best friend to an extent and argues that I have let myself go with him and knocked down the walls for some time to be with him. but also knows when its not going to work. (or do I? or am I just running scared???)

*so doubting myself

*thinks it will take one hell of a man to get me, really get me and understand me. thinks there are very few men out there who even want to attempt to deal with the load of suitcases I am carrying with me

*wonders if lit friends get tired of my babbling confessions. wonders if they think I am bipolar with my constant UP DOWN emotions as of late.

*is keeping Jewelz in my heart for a safe journey today and the reality of real, pure love

I need to get some sleep. I am utterly exhausted with much to do today.

NG

 

[Don K Dyck]

A new day, a fresh start - the present

Good morning my dear friends!!!!!

Just wanted to send big hugs to all those who have done confessions since I left yesterday afternoon. My love is with all of you.

*Approx 15 hours until I am in his arms.



Hey, hey heY hEY HEY!!!!! A NEW AV!!!

Who is this lovely lass now gracing the inner margin???

Is it - is it - is it the REAL wonderful, gentle, caring, loving JEWELZ herself??? Come out of the closet, radiant in her natural beauty??

Phelan man, you are ONE LUCKY BASTARD!!

 

[SexyAmber]

Good luck Jewelz...I know you will have so much fun!

Here is a poem for all of you that have touched me with similar situations..this is hanging on my wall at home and I have had it since I was 16 as a gift from my grandmother, it was always her favorite ..it has always given me strength

" Comes the Dawn"
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promisies

And you begin to accept your defects with
Your head up and your eyes open with the grace
Of an adult, not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And the future has a way of falling down in mid flight

After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own
Soul instead of watiting for someone to bring you flowers

And you can learn that you really can endure
That you really have worth
And you learn........

With ever goodbye, every sunrise,
"Comes the Dawn"

 

[navarre]

Beautiful Amber.
Thanks for posting it.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Early morning confession

*just was a bad bad girl. really bad.

Hey NG

A man once said to me, "Be kind to yourself! There are enough people out there trying to walk all over you that you shouldn't help them by walking all over yourself INSIDE AS WELL!"

Each of us makes decisions based on the evidence at hand, and despite my protestations at uni, we all muddle through our lives being as successful as we can.

It is a new day. You have been given the opportunity to start again with the dawn, to reset the counters back to zero and count your successes built by remembering your previous experiences.

Plan for the future, you are going to spend a lot of time there,
Remember the past and its many lessons,
Live in the present because that's where you build your future.

Lots of Hugs, Don

 

[1fiestyredhead]

Jewelz, you know you will be in my thoughts and prayers. And I can't wait to hear that you are safely there with Phe. Have a wonderful, magical weekend! Your babies will be just fine until you get home. Relax and have fun! Love ya honey girl!!

* want's to thank everyone for the sweet words last night...

* my heart goes out to those having truly difficult times

* is headed to the beach today, sun, sand, surf....heaven

* is thought to be crazy because she loves this hot weather we're getting

* is very glad naded made it home safely, and appears to have had a good time?

 

[1fiestyredhead]

Amber, it's a beautiful poem....and so very true. Thanks for sharing!

 

[navarre]

Friday morning

*not working today...but I have to go in to work

*really pissed at my little girl kitty...really pissed

*think I'll shave her...that'll show her

*cleaned and straightened the new apartment yesterday...almost looks livable

*can't let the mess here stress me out

*had an excellent phone conversation last night...58 minutes

*went to bed smiling

*woke up with a smile on my face

*still smiling

*my heart goes out to Amber, SC, and Batchoohus...been there, done that...I understand

*hopes Jewels has a safe and stress-free trip

More later...after work...even though I'm not working today...lol

 

[SexyAmber]

*wishes badmatt would get his ass home*

*loves days like today, windy...cool and cloudy*

*loves thunderstorms*

 

[Jewelz]

thank you everyone!!!!! im getting ready to leave here now. have to do some errands and some shopping and then head to the airport this afternoon. "the ex" has been doing nothing but bitching at me and the girls all morning. i feel sick about leaving them with him. Grrr....

Amber the poem was beautiful honey.

Fiesty, i love you!!!

Yes Don...its really me Thank you *blush*

Talk to you all soon....i think *giggle*

Phe I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[navarre]

Good luck Jewels.
Have a good trip.
You will share all the details with us, won't you?

 

[shavedbuffy]

what a fun idea Jewelz
Ok here goes,
1st time I had sex I was 24
only had 1 partner in my life
want to have sex with my female friend in Wi, with or without my wife
want to try FFM
love to watch porn
very vouyeristic
love to see women expose themselves in public,especially my wife
want to have an affair, but dont want to hurt wife, family
almost lost wife to another man, we were teasing and flirting with

 

[Don K Dyck]

thank you everyone!!!!! im getting ready to leave here now. have to do some errands and some shopping and then head to the airport this afternoon. "the ex" has been doing nothing but bitching at me and the girls all morning. i feel sick about leaving them with him. Grrr....

Amber the poem was beautiful honey.

Fiesty, i love you!!!

Yes Don...its really me Thank you *blush*

Talk to you all soon....i think *giggle*

Phe I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jewelz,

Learn from yesterday,
Dream today
Big enough so that your future
Will be better than you ever dared imagine.

Enjoy yourself. {{{BIG HUGS}}}

 

[naded]

The morning after confession:


* is very, very hungover

* has no clue how he got home

* had no idea a Camaro could do that in the rain

* has decided to NOT do that stunt again in my baby

* as tempted as I was I did not bring a gun to the 4th party

* got drunk with some of Wash. State. Patrol's finest

* will never forget when we "accidently" set the old VW bug on fire and had to call some on duty fire fighters to come put it out because all the ones at my sisters house were intoximicated.

* did not wake up with someone in my bed, a good yet bad thing

* Gives Jewelz a big hug, safe trip hon, Phelan, good luck surviving the weekend.

* hopes everyone had a good time

* Amber, darling, don't be so hard on yourself all the time, we care about you. Oh, and I got the same problem with my folks so, we are all part of the " 'rents Club."

* Am here but still out of it

* wishes I could be at the beach like some people, Fiesty.

* is not opening a drape, window or door for fear of busting into flames by sun's rays.

 

[1fiestyredhead]

Afternoon confessions:

* is back from the beach, feeling toasty and hoping I didn't burn, but even if I did, god that felt soooo good.

* thinks she should have her head examined for agreeing to be party central for 12 teenaged girls tonight.

* for some reason is needing to make party preparations even though this is not my party

* would like to know just what naded managed to make that Camaro do in the rain...hmmmm??

*thinks some people really would have enjoyed the beach, naded

* is in an incredibly feisty mood

 

[SexyAmber]

*pounces fiesty and licks her face*

Hi sis

*smacks naded on the tush on the way by*

everyone is quiet

Fiesty are you going to be around tonight for the play and chat thread?

 

[naded]

* did a 360 spin on I-5 South bound