Troubled in college

[VFaulkon]

This is kind of a weird place to post something like this, but I don't know where else to do so. Besides, since most of the members here seem to be older, mature adults, hopefully this thread will bear fruit.

Right now I'm in my last year of college, and almost all of my requirements for graduation are met. The only one left is the foreign language bit, which requires three progressively harder classes taken in the same language (for me, French). I'm currently in my second attempt at my second of three French classes, and due to the school's restrictions on basic language courses, I can't take more than one of my required classes per semester.

Here's my problem; I'm burnt out on college. Completely. I don't know if this is just senioritis or not, but I'm seriously out of juice. When people tell me to just push forward a little more because I'm so near the end, it's unnecessary - I'm already doing that, and I'm running on fumes as it is. Despite the fact that I'm so close to my bachelor's degree and just being done with all of this nonsense of fulfilling some arbitrary, half-assed cultural requirements, it's becoming more and more of a struggle just to pull myself out of bed.

Not to mention my own personal issues and the desire to join the working world and move on to (what I hope will be) greener social pastures, I feel that staying here at this university is slowly sucking out my soul.

Normally, I'd just grin and bear it, being as close as I said to the finish line, but I'm in danger of failing my current French class again - not due to my grades (I have a B average as far as tests and assignments go) but to absences (which caused my failure last semester). Last semester, I was burned out as well and simply blew off class a few too many times. This time, however, I've been making the effort to go to class...and I'm still four classes over the limit, which means an automatic 8% off my final grade. As such, I'm in danger of having to re-retake this class, which now won't even be possible 'til next fall, as the summer course is already full), which in turn means not only will I be stuck in college for several more months, but my college loan deferment will have already started ticking down.

As far as I'm concerned though, I lost heart at the word 're-retake'. The very thought makes me nauseous, and I'm not exaggerating.


At this time, I'm giving serious thought to completing this semester, then leaving college and looking for work. Since my plan from the get-go was to find an entry-level job in retail while I establish my work portfolio (I'm a creative writing major) and look for a career-type profession, not having my BFA wouldn't be an immediate concern, and after taking some time away from this wretched secondary education I could come back and retake French - afterall such a class will easily be available at any university, and I'm not concerned with where I get my degree so long as I have it, so no matter where I am at the time I could find the classes I need to finally fulfill my requirements.

I am aware that, for some people, life has a way of taking away your plans in favor of something else, so there is some opposition to this, I'm sure. There's no guarantee that I'll be able to return to college should something unexpected happen, and after all the time and money sunk into getting my degree... not to mention the fact I'm not eager to do the same thing my sister did (though my reasons, I think, would be considerably more legitimate) and bail out so close to the finish, only to go back later and finish anyway.


Any advice on my situation would be helpful, but the main question I guess I'm asking is this: should I fail French II again (and not even due to poor performance in class, but simply being unable to force myself to go every gorramn day), effectively adding another year to my sentence for a mere two classes, are my frustrations reasonable enough to allow a temporary retreat from college? Or should I simply push myself beyond what I feel is my breaking point and not join the working world until I've got that piece of paper?

Please help me, if you're willing. I feel really trapped right now.


EDIT: Oh, and just to cover my bases, advice like 'just suck it up and go' or 'focus on your goal' will not be helpful - I'm doing that now. And while my attendance has improved, it has done nothing for my motivation AND it still doesn't seem to be enough. If that's all the advice you have, that's fine - feel free to post it, no harm done - just keep the above in mind as you do. Thank you.

 

[__Lisa__]

If it was me, I'd get out into the workforce and go back at a later date to finish up with the degree. Why make yourself miserable when you have other options? There's plenty of time for you to return to study when you're ready. And you'll probably do a better job of it when you've taken a break anyway.

It seems to me like you've already made your decision.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Have you hooked up with your GP or student counsellor? You're under a lot of stress right now and it may help to have somebody to vent at and unload on. Are you a bottler of emotions? Many guys are and it's not always healthy. Nobody needs to know if you go to see the counsellor, they're bound by the same confidentiality as a GP anyway.

A friend of mine was under incredible stress during uni (for family reasons as well as academic ones) and as a temporary measure, her GP prescribed beta blockers (a cardiac drug that reduces symptoms of stress like headaches, panic/attacks, nausea, palpitations and the high physical stress that results) and anti-depressants (to boost serotonin production, which is hampered by prolonged stress). They got her through her final year and she stopped taking the meds afterwards without any ill effects. This may or may not be right for you but it's another option to consider. Drug therapy coupled with some counselling may be enough to see you through your classes and then you can hit the ground running with your piece of paper in your back pocket.

 

[silverwhisper]

in all honesty, my experience has been that people who leave school and plan to return very rarely do.

you say you're burnt out on school. not that i'm trying to minimize that, but do you have any idea just how bad this economy is right now, and just how badly you're sabotaging your chances of landing a decent job without a degree? seriously, i think it's your senioritis at play far more than it is anything else.

does your school offer counseling? if so, i highly recommend taking advantage of it. maybe a different perspective on this might be helpful. what do your friends/family say when you discuss this with them?

ed

 

[VFaulkon]

First of all, let me say this. Silver, I know about the economy, but quite frankly it doesn't matter - I still need a job, regardless of how hard it is to find one. And I have serious doubts that a BFA in Creative Writing will up my chances at finding a job stocking shelves or working the cash register.

I am seeing a counselor - have been since I get here, for various reasons - and they aren't helpful on this matter. Typically, the response I get is 'you're almost there, just tough it out', hence my post-edit. Same with friends and family. None of them seem to get that this is me toughing it out. And I'm definitely not a bottler of emotions, though it's rare for me to find someone to vent to. Usually I just resort to ranting into the air and sleeping it off.

So far, I like Velvet's suggestion best - I was considering going on antidepressants temporarily to lighten...well, several loads for the time being, and though I don't feel they'll actually fix anything for me, I sure could use the assist right now.

 

[emap]

Drugs and counseling seem to be the best option, but you could always do what I do when I'm mad, mostly at my guy or just people in general, I play a game.

I'm not talking tiddlywinks or something like that, not that I have any idea what tiddlywinks is but well you know. Personally I go and play Age of Conan, though really any game where you kill people probably would do it. It's actually kind of amazing how much better you feel after offing a couple of pixel people.

Not to mention, getting away from your life problems and playing a game with different problems that are easily solved helps alot. Not that I'm a shrink or anything, but studies have shown that playing video games can help with emotional distress, anxiety, and depression. At least I think that's what the paper said, I read it a while ago and it listed a few problems besides the ones that showed improvement.

 

[VFaulkon]

Well, I do play WoW, and I actually did that yesterday afternoon after dinner +dessert and a shower had no effect. It does help for a little while, I'll admit, but the problem is still there, and the feelings return after awhile. And if, like yesterday, they hit about a half-hour before you have to go to class, you don't really have that kind of time.

I do like your idea (it's good to see some pro-gaming arguments for mental health), but I need something a little more...longer-lasting, I guess? And I've got enough trouble getting myself motivated to go to class without becoming addicted to WoW too.

 

[bailadora]

Hugs to you, honey. I did my junior year, the entire summer and then straight into my senior year (maximum loads each semester), so I can seriously empathize with what you are feeling at this point in time. I'm not going to tell you whether or not you should stay in because only you know if you are truly at your breaking point. Instead, I'll offer up a few thoughts for consideration:

1) A lot of people leave college with the intention of taking a hiatus, only to not make it back for various reasons. I know you're already aware of this, but hear me out: while it may not make a difference for the type of job you currently seek, it will matter in the long run. There have been many studies highlighting the differences in the earning power between the degreed and the non-degreed. So there is much more at play than cultural pressure to get your degree. There is a very real financial component to consider that could possibly affect you over a lifetime.

2) Right now you have two classes left. Should you decide to take a break, you need to be aware that the requirements for your particular degree may change during your absence. The semester after I graduated, three more classes were added to the coarse load of the business degree I'd just earned. You also need to be aware that universities differ in what classes are required. If you decide to leave and then re-enroll elsewhere at a later date, some of your classes may not transfer and you may end up taking more classes in order to fulfill their particular requirements.

Regarding the burnt out aspect and possible ways to cope:

1)the meds as a short term assist is good idea. I know there have been times in my life when anti-anxiety medication has totally helped me regain perspective of my situation.

2) Is it possible to form a temporary support system with someone in your class (or even another friend who is not in that class, but is generally encouraging)? Someone who might gently nag you to get your ass to class and camp on your doorstep until you do so? See the thing that really helped me during that last semester of school was that my fiance (now my husband) was in the same boat. We developed a sort of "survivor" mentality and made a pact that we were going to finish come hell or high water. He'd call me in the morning and say "I'll meet you at this location at this time and don't you dare stand me up." Sometimes, when he had a class and I didn't, I'd sit beside him in the lecture hall and study - silently offering support just with my presence . And he did the same for me. Sometimes having that moral support goes a long way towards helping when you are absolutely convinced you are done.

In short, this is a decision only you can make. Carefully consider your options and the possible ramifications of each. I wish you the best of luck, whatever choice you make.

 

[fire_breeze]

I can completely empathise. Completely and totally. I'm not going to tell you whether or not you should, as only you know what you need to do, but rather would like to offer options and an opinion which may or may not be beneficial in your evaluation of your situation.

Have you discussed your burn out with not only your programme director but your prof? That you can complete the assignments, your grades are good but you are having trouble getting out of bed because of being burned-out? And then asking for possible solutions, such as an extra paper? Most professors understand and know what's it like to be completely and utterly exhausted, trust me. But unless you take the initial steps to show that you want this done and over with, then they will fail you as per syllabus.

I am gathering that you only have a class or two to take, and therefore are part-time, leaving you free time, but I could be wrong though. If so, how about finding work or volunteering? I find that when I am busy, I can get through everything I need to do much easier. Perhaps another option could be that you go to a language camp either in France, Switzerland, Belgium or Quebec (either Montreal, Sherbrooke or Quebec City). You are immersed in the language and culture between 2-6 weeks and usually can get full credits. From the people whom I talked to who went to one here said it was a fantastic experience, they learnt a new language, and they completed one (in one case three) language course for their uni. While this might not be feasible, it is an option nonetheless, and can get you out of the classroom and into a new environment, all the while enabling you to get the credits you need. Something to check out.

Bailadora's suggestion of a buddy system is something worthwhile to look into. Like her, I was part of a small circle who nagged each other to get to class, although I wouldn't use the word 'gently'. We were five who were just burned out from lack of sleep, too much school and work, and there were times when I literally pulled someone out of bed to get him to class on time (now that was an experience and half). We also met three times a week after school and work for a pint to relax and to talk. If you make a promise to go for someone, you are less likely to not go.

Also, how about making a promise to reward yourself when you are done? In November, I not only almost dropped out of my graduate degree (which at that and this point, am so very close to finishing) but leaving the city - hells, the country - as well. I was fed up, frustrated, and thoroughly pissed off. I took a working-vacation and refocused. I told myself that when I'm done and handed in my thesis and wrote the final comp, I will take off to Europe. I don't care how much it costs, but I deserved this and I will go. I haven't booked a ticket yet (not smart, I know) but this knowledge that I will be (along with letting my family and friends in Europe know that I will be arriving on their doorsteps in a few short months) is all the motivation I need to get it done. It could be worth exploring a similar option. It should be something you really want, like a subscription to your favourite magazine, some brand new kitchen knives, the complete set of Sandman, or whatever your heart desires. It may or may not work for you, but it did, so far, for me.

You asked whether or not you should fail French, and/or to leave college completely. Only you can answer that, and only you should make that decision, with all the pros and cons lined up, and you evaluating them. University is hard, but in my opinion worth it, and not necessarily for a stupid paper. I also believe in options, and that there are ways around most situations, if you really want to. The fact that you are venting tells me that you want to get this done as well. However, the end decision must be yours and yours alone. Just know you're not alone, and if you need to vent some more, my PM is open.

Good luck.

 

[DrHappy]

Burn out is just a mild form of depression. It is caused by prolonged stress and the symptoms are identical to symptoms of depression (it's the same thing). Treat it as you would depression. Definitely get some exercise even though you really don't feel like it. Seeing a doctor about some antidepressants might be a responsible course of action.

 

[PoeticMusings53]

Any advice on my situation would be helpful, but the main question I guess I'm asking is this: should I fail French II again (and not even due to poor performance in class, but simply being unable to force myself to go every gorramn day), effectively adding another year to my sentence for a mere two classes, are my frustrations reasonable enough to allow a temporary retreat from college? Or should I simply push myself beyond what I feel is my breaking point and not join the working world until I've got that piece of paper?

You're fortunate to be able to go to college, and having that "piece of paper" will make a huge difference in the quality of jobs you're able to get right out of college as well as your long term career prospects. Stop crying, finish school, definently start exersizing and take SSRIs if you need.

 

[bailadora]

<snip>
Have you discussed your burn out with not only your programme director but your prof? That you can complete the assignments, your grades are good but you are having trouble getting out of bed because of being burned-out? And then asking for possible solutions, such as an extra paper? Most professors understand and know what's it like to be completely and utterly exhausted, trust me. But unless you take the initial steps to show that you want this done and over with, then they will fail you as per syllabus.

This is a very good point! During his first year of university, my husband was pursuing a degree in electrical engineering. It was a very demanding load and more than he could/wanted to handle. The long and the short of it is that he was on the verge of being expelled for being on academic probation two semesters in a row and he almost lost his scholarship. But after conferences with the scholarship board and university officials (and an extra paper or two to demonstrate his sincerity), he was able to successfully plead his case, switch majors and retain his funding. Even if you think it's a long shot, give it a sincere attempt. If you don't ask, the answer is always going to be no. Again, best of luck. Keep us posted and let us know how it goes.

 

[done_got_old]

Here's my problem; I'm burnt out on college. Completely. I don't know if this is just senioritis or not, but I'm seriously out of juice. When people tell me to just push forward a little more because I'm so near the end, it's unnecessary - I'm already doing that, and I'm running on fumes as it is. Despite the fact that I'm so close to my bachelor's degree and just being done with all of this nonsense of fulfilling some arbitrary, half-assed cultural requirements, it's becoming more and more of a struggle just to pull myself out of bed.

Not to mention my own personal issues and the desire to join the working world and move on to (what I hope will be) greener social pastures, I feel that staying here at this university is slowly sucking out my soul.

Normally, I'd just grin and bear it, being as close as I said to the finish line, but I'm in danger of failing my current French class again - not due to my grades (I have a B average as far as tests and assignments go) but to absences (which caused my failure last semester). Last semester, I was burned out as well and simply blew off class a few too many times. This time, however, I've been making the effort to go to class...and I'm still four classes over the limit, which means an automatic 8% off my final grade. As such, I'm in danger of having to re-retake this class, which now won't even be possible 'til next fall, as the summer course is already full), which in turn means not only will I be stuck in college for several more months, but my college loan deferment will have already started ticking down.

As far as I'm concerned though, I lost heart at the word 're-retake'. The very thought makes me nauseous, and I'm not exaggerating.


At this time, I'm giving serious thought to completing this semester, then leaving college and looking for work. Since my plan from the get-go was to find an entry-level job in retail while I establish my work portfolio (I'm a creative writing major) and look for a career-type profession, not having my BFA wouldn't be an immediate concern, and after taking some time away from this wretched secondary education I could come back and retake French - afterall such a class will easily be available at any university, and I'm not concerned with where I get my degree so long as I have it, so no matter where I am at the time I could find the classes I need to finally fulfill my requirements.

You will work for the next 30+ years. Statistics show that on average, a college graduate earns more in his lifetime than a person without a degree. There are of course the exceptions.

What if you happen to land a great job and two or three years down the road you're passed up for a promotion because you don't have a degree, how will you feel? Of course this will probably happen when none of your courses will count for a degree and you might have to start over. If I had to make a choice, I'd opt for the degree.

I don't know too many people who sit around and complain about getting a degree, but I know a lot who are sorry they didn't.

 

[VFaulkon]

This is a very good point! During his first year of university, my husband was pursuing a degree in electrical engineering. It was a very demanding load and more than he could/wanted to handle. The long and the short of it is that he was on the verge of being expelled for being on academic probation two semesters in a row and he almost lost his scholarship. But after conferences with the scholarship board and university officials (and an extra paper or two to demonstrate his sincerity), he was able to successfully plead his case, switch majors and retain his funding. Even if you think it's a long shot, give it a sincere attempt. If you don't ask, the answer is always going to be no. Again, best of luck. Keep us posted and let us know how it goes.

Thanks again to everyone, especially bailadora and fire_breeze. Unfortunately I don't think I could get that support system worked out (the only potential candidates are so busy themselves we can't even spend time to hang out and have fun - I doubt they'd be willing to camp on my doorstep every morning or even act as human alarm clocks via cell phone), but the exercising thing I could maybe give a shot.

I did talk with my professor today - I had already figured I could ask to see what my options were - and she said there were none for lessening the damage that's already been done, only that I should do what I can to avoid adding to it (i.e. don't miss any more classes). Good news, though - even with the -8 points to my final grade I've incurred so far, I've still got a B for the time being, so I'm not doomed to re-repeat. As long as I can keep my grades stable and not miss any more class, I should be okay. That news was enough to lift my spirits a bit.

Between my personal problems and this burn-out I'm experiencing, if I manage to get my degree I know I'll feel like I can officially apply for godhood.

 

[fire_breeze]

Thanks again to everyone, especially bailadora and fire_breeze. Unfortunately I don't think I could get that support system worked out (the only potential candidates are so busy themselves we can't even spend time to hang out and have fun - I doubt they'd be willing to camp on my doorstep every morning or even act as human alarm clocks via cell phone), but the exercising thing I could maybe give a shot.

Anytime

Ask your buddies. Also, offer to be their human alarm clock. And you know, it's also important to relax and to hang out, even if it's for two hours a week as you rent the world's stupidest movie. Your grades will improve and you will find yourself to be more rested. I do understand that it's the end of the semester, and that everyone's hectic, but it's a thought to consider. Or how about sharing notes with someone in the same class? That way you HAVE to go.

I did talk with my professor today - I had already figured I could ask to see what my options were - and she said there were none for lessening the damage that's already been done, only that I should do what I can to avoid adding to it (i.e. don't miss any more classes). Good news, though - even with the -8 points to my final grade I've incurred so far, I've still got a B for the time being, so I'm not doomed to re-repeat. As long as I can keep my grades stable and not miss any more class, I should be okay. That news was enough to lift my spirits a bit.

Between my personal problems and this burn-out I'm experiencing, if I manage to get my degree I know I'll feel like I can officially apply for godhood.

A B is still pretty damn good. Keep that in mind. Try to figure out a system that works for you, whether it's temporarily going on anti-depressants, rewards, repeating a mantra, exercising, blowing up aliens or a combination of above, and stick with it.

Good luck.

 

[Cathleen]

I'm surprised at what I'm about to say but...take a break.

I'd sit down with the Dean of your discipline to find out what options you may have; perhaps your Dean can talk to the prof or Dean of the French dept., etc...blah, blah, blah. Can you take the classes at another college and transfer those to meet the requirement? Time constraints, changes in degree requirements, etc. will need to be addressed.

I think the idea of a job that'll give your mind a rest is smart. Clear out some crap that's weighing you down, reducing pressure will be healthy. But like others have said taking a break can be risky so you need to be diligent about finishing. It's not just a piece of paper.

I'm not a fan of using drugs (those mentioned above) as a stop-gap measure. It's my understanding that if you have good brain chemistry balance then taking drugs won't do much if anything. If you want some serotonin then eat some chocolate.



Will someone tell me to eat chocolate, pleasssseeeeeee?

 

[fire_breeze]

I'm surprised at what I'm about to say but...take a break.

I'd sit down with the Dean of your discipline to find out what options you may have; perhaps your Dean can talk to the prof or Dean of the French dept., etc...blah, blah, blah. Can you take the classes at another college and transfer those to meet the requirement? Time constraints, changes in degree requirements, etc. will need to be addressed.

I think the idea of a job that'll give your mind a rest is smart. Clear out some crap that's weighing you down, reducing pressure will be healthy. But like others have said taking a break can be risky so you need to be diligent about finishing. It's not just a piece of paper.

I'm not a fan of using drugs (those mentioned above) as a stop-gap measure. It's my understanding that if you have good brain chemistry balance then taking drugs won't do much if anything. If you want some serotonin then eat some chocolate.



Will someone tell me to eat chocolate, pleasssseeeeeee?

Eat chocolate. Now


*runs off to do the same*

 

[ms_sub_liminal]

i didn't read all the responses before posting so forgive me if i repeat something someone else has said. if the only requirements you have left are your language credits i'd recommend checking out whether a course at the local community college could transfer. on top of that i'd look for a summer or winter intercession class. shortened semester courses like that are much more focused on getting you the material you need and in my experience, far easier to handle in terms of course load and teacher attention. if you look around you also usually find grades are higher during these terms. my college offered 3 summer semesters. maybe you could get lucky and get your last two credits out of the way in the time it would have taken you for just one.

if you intend on getting a degree then i'd stick with it. if you can't go part-time and take only your language courses, try to find something that seems fun or interesting to you to keep you interested. i took surfing literature and wilderness survival (or as i called it boy scout class) when i started to get burned out. trust me, it is nearly impossible to make yourself go back once you're out. and if you do get the urge to go back it is really hard to get worked back into the school system versus if you'd just stayed in the first place. so many students, so few office workers.

with that said, college isn't for everyone. to me, if you put in this much time you might as well finish, but as long as you find something in life that gives you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment and you are able to take care of yourself then that's all that's really important.

 

[SweetErika]

But like others have said taking a break can be risky so you need to be diligent about finishing. It's not just a piece of paper.

Ain't that the truth! Especially now, with a lot of people with degrees applying for the jobs that are left and they're vastly overqualified for. Even if you're planning on doing retail or something, consider the real possibility that you could be competing with degreed, experienced applicants for that job. And that your degree may very well get you a higher-paying, more enjoyable "basic" job if you can just stick out going to class.

I'm not a fan of using drugs (those mentioned above) as a stop-gap measure. It's my understanding that if you have good brain chemistry balance then taking drugs won't do much if anything. If you want some serotonin then eat some chocolate.

I agree, but both Hubby and I have had good results with antidepressants and antianxiety drugs taking the edge off of situational depression, anxiety and stress. Stress--even that which results from being a Type-A or a job/school situation--can seriously fuck with our brain chemistry, and sometimes medication can take the edge off just enough for us to function better.

At any rate, medication is never a panacea, but it's probably something for VF to be open to trying in conjunction with the other solutions and lifestyle changes he's working on.

Will someone tell me to eat chocolate, pleasssseeeeeee?[/QUOTE]

 

[bailadora]

Will someone tell me to eat chocolate, pleasssseeeeeee?

Erika, eat some chocolate!

Faulkon: You're very welcome. I distinctly remember what it was like. It sucks that your prof won't relent, but it is good to hear that you aren't as in danger of failing as you thought you were. If I may ask, how long till semester end? I recall usually being done by mid- May. If the same holds true for you, the time you have to hold out for this particular class is only about six more weeks. Please reconsider asking a friend to nag you. I realize everyone gets caught up in the end of term craziness, but all you need is one person to agree to help out. And really, how long does it take to place a call or fire off a text message along the lines of "Hey, Faulkon, gitcha lazy ass out of bed and to class!" Again, if you don't ask, the answer is always going to be no. And if push comes to shove, I'll be happy to flood your pm box. I've been told I'm rather skilled in the art of nagging.

I was also thinking about ways you could keep yourself motivated. Working off of Breeze's reward idea, for every day that you do get to class, why not treat yourself to a small reward? It doesn't have to be huge or expensive - just something that you really like: good burger from Fudd's, a drink at the local watering hole, or whatever floats your boat. It may sound kinda lame, but I've found it works for me.

I second the idea of a conversation with the dean of your school. It is possible there might be other ways of fulfilling those final credits. Again, best of luck to you. Know that there are people out there who are rooting for you and are willing to listen if you need to let off some steam.

 

[Cathleen]

I think Adora is on to something with the nagging thing and since I don't get to nag people I'd be glad to call and nag you if it'd help. Really.

 

[Cathleen]

Eat chocolate. Now


*runs off to do the same*

This would have worked if I'd had some chocolate in the house. Maybe someone needs to nag me to keep some on hand.

 

[Nymphomaniacal]

Well, I do play WoW, and I actually did that yesterday afternoon after dinner +dessert and a shower had no effect. It does help for a little while, I'll admit, but the problem is still there, and the feelings return after awhile. And if, like yesterday, they hit about a half-hour before you have to go to class, you don't really have that kind of time.

I do like your idea (it's good to see some pro-gaming arguments for mental health), but I need something a little more...longer-lasting, I guess? And I've got enough trouble getting myself motivated to go to class without becoming addicted to WoW too.

LOL
I play WoW Too and unless you really really like PvP and dont mind not seeing guts or blood sure its nice, but I'd suggest something a little more bloody and a little more gorey to have a better effect
And WoW is terribly addictive. Im without a computer that is able to run WoW because mine is getting fixed and god I miss WoW LOL
Maybe the antidepressants would help, they didnt help me when I had depression and stress issues. I ended up flushing them so my mother would think I was taking them since I was under her roof when I did take them.
I used to throw all my anger and frustration into dance when I was in dance class. There was something gratifying and releasing about getting each step perfect and pushing myself so hard in that. The small aches from it later were reminders to let the things I could go and breathe.
Perhaps to start get a massage? I know its not much but it might relax you just a little bit until you can find a more permanent or longer lasting fix.

 

[subwannabe]

I didn't have time to read all of your responses but I would like to say that I never went to college and went into retail instead. Your post sounds exactly like my feelings and the feelings of many people I know in retail. You get burned out, hate to go in, and dread getting up in the morning to do it all over again. Fortunately I was able to get out after decades of the same frustration you are feeling. It sounds to me like what you are going through now isn't any different than what you will eventually feel in retail. Believe me, it is hard to get out of the cycle. You really are better off sucking it up now than being stuck in retail for the rest of your life. If you are out of college too long you won't go back. Go to class and get counseling.

 

[HoHoBomb]

try a foreign language semester abroad program