TBKahuna123
Back in the Sunshine
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2005
- Posts
- 2,722
or Don't Fuck on Ambien!
Eilan started a great thread on dissinterested parties in sexual problems and I mentioned that over the years my wife and I have gone through it and learned to deal with it. We've gotten good at identifying potential problems and addressing them before they snowball. Here's a good example that I'm frankly embarassed by, one that happened in the last week! Twice my wife and I have stopped having sex and wound up in ugly fights. The first one was thursday and Friday we talked it all through and all was good. Then Sunday we had anothtr one, this one lasting until 4 am!!!
Now, I was pretty depressed yesterday because I didn't get it. I couldn't figure out what her problem was and was totally confused about what I had done to provoke her. Well I won't go into all the details, because they are sketchy for me at best, but the biggest one for her was that I was concentrating so much on doing things to her that I would not respond to what she did to me. Not only wasn't I responding, but I was losing my erection, which confused and hurt her feelings. Well, we did figure out yesterday what was wrong really wrong. This will make you laugh.
A month ago I started taking Ambien for insomnia. It works great, but it has an interesting effect. Unlike normal sleeping pills, it doesn't just knock you out, it helps you stay asleep by quietting your mind. So what happens if you take it and don't go right to sleep? Well you don't get sleepy, but your brain does shut off! Both times this had happened I had take the Ambien before we started to make love.
I vividly remember the fights because I was mentally engaged, but I barely remember the sexual encounters at all! As we talked yesterday I started to get flashes of memory, but basically it's all a blank spot. My lack of response and what I can only term insensitivity was totally out of character for me, and she knew that, but other stresses last week just made her reaction worse. She had come to me looking for comfort, love and reinforcement, which she didn't get. There was a total lack of our normal intimacy which is the core of our sex life. I was at a loss because I couldn't figure out what I had done, it just wasn't me. Hell, the whole sexual encounter had barely started when she got pissed, at least that's what I thought.
Yesterday she corrected me, told me that is wasn't right away, that we'd been making love for at least 15 minutes both times. I was shocked because I realized I didn't remember hardly any of the sexual encounter, just the beginning. Then I remembered something that had happened when I first started taking this. I took my pill and my mom called. Apparently I had a 10 minute conversation with her which ended up with me being totally incoherent and babbling. I also had an incident that my wife reminded me of where I took the pill after a late night hockey game and wound up with leg cramps so bad that she spent 30 minutes massaging my legs so I could sleep. Again, I don't remember either incident!
That's when I put two and two together.
The Ambien apparently shuts down the cognitive centers of the brain. A little research confirmed this for me yesterday. When things start running on instinct I was appearing to be toally lucid, but infact higher brain functions were totally whacked out! Once you get engaged mentally and focused it seems to be ok, though dulled and confused. I deduced that during sex instincts and emotions take over and cognitive thought and creativity go night night. So we did some experimentation last night to be sure this was indeed the case, and let's just say she feels very reassured this morning.
This was just whacky and a perfect example of why I HATE taking anything like this! Thank God my body is retraining itself and I don't have to take these every night. The moral of the story is that obviously the correct way to take this is to take it and go right to sleep, not take it as prep to sleep. This was confusion caused by my Doctor's instructions because I started with two drugs initially. So take it RIGHT before you go to sleep, and...
NEVER TRY TO FUCK ON AMBIEN!!!!
Eilan started a great thread on dissinterested parties in sexual problems and I mentioned that over the years my wife and I have gone through it and learned to deal with it. We've gotten good at identifying potential problems and addressing them before they snowball. Here's a good example that I'm frankly embarassed by, one that happened in the last week! Twice my wife and I have stopped having sex and wound up in ugly fights. The first one was thursday and Friday we talked it all through and all was good. Then Sunday we had anothtr one, this one lasting until 4 am!!!
Now, I was pretty depressed yesterday because I didn't get it. I couldn't figure out what her problem was and was totally confused about what I had done to provoke her. Well I won't go into all the details, because they are sketchy for me at best, but the biggest one for her was that I was concentrating so much on doing things to her that I would not respond to what she did to me. Not only wasn't I responding, but I was losing my erection, which confused and hurt her feelings. Well, we did figure out yesterday what was wrong really wrong. This will make you laugh.
A month ago I started taking Ambien for insomnia. It works great, but it has an interesting effect. Unlike normal sleeping pills, it doesn't just knock you out, it helps you stay asleep by quietting your mind. So what happens if you take it and don't go right to sleep? Well you don't get sleepy, but your brain does shut off! Both times this had happened I had take the Ambien before we started to make love.
I vividly remember the fights because I was mentally engaged, but I barely remember the sexual encounters at all! As we talked yesterday I started to get flashes of memory, but basically it's all a blank spot. My lack of response and what I can only term insensitivity was totally out of character for me, and she knew that, but other stresses last week just made her reaction worse. She had come to me looking for comfort, love and reinforcement, which she didn't get. There was a total lack of our normal intimacy which is the core of our sex life. I was at a loss because I couldn't figure out what I had done, it just wasn't me. Hell, the whole sexual encounter had barely started when she got pissed, at least that's what I thought.
Yesterday she corrected me, told me that is wasn't right away, that we'd been making love for at least 15 minutes both times. I was shocked because I realized I didn't remember hardly any of the sexual encounter, just the beginning. Then I remembered something that had happened when I first started taking this. I took my pill and my mom called. Apparently I had a 10 minute conversation with her which ended up with me being totally incoherent and babbling. I also had an incident that my wife reminded me of where I took the pill after a late night hockey game and wound up with leg cramps so bad that she spent 30 minutes massaging my legs so I could sleep. Again, I don't remember either incident!
That's when I put two and two together.
The Ambien apparently shuts down the cognitive centers of the brain. A little research confirmed this for me yesterday. When things start running on instinct I was appearing to be toally lucid, but infact higher brain functions were totally whacked out! Once you get engaged mentally and focused it seems to be ok, though dulled and confused. I deduced that during sex instincts and emotions take over and cognitive thought and creativity go night night. So we did some experimentation last night to be sure this was indeed the case, and let's just say she feels very reassured this morning.
This was just whacky and a perfect example of why I HATE taking anything like this! Thank God my body is retraining itself and I don't have to take these every night. The moral of the story is that obviously the correct way to take this is to take it and go right to sleep, not take it as prep to sleep. This was confusion caused by my Doctor's instructions because I started with two drugs initially. So take it RIGHT before you go to sleep, and...
NEVER TRY TO FUCK ON AMBIEN!!!!
