Trans people -- do you find porn hard to relate to?

[TGirlNerd]

I find that when I'm viewing erotic material, whether it's a story, a photo, a video, a drawing, whatever, I frequently find it difficult to get very into things if there isn't a trans woman participant.

Personally, when I look at porn of any kind, I like to try to put myself in the position of one of the female characters and imagine myself in the same situation. Unfortunately, what I frequently find is that I just end up feeling self-conscious and dysphoric, thoughts along the lines of "I could experience that if only I were cis ... " and associated self-body-shaming make it very difficult to get into the material once genitals become very explicitly involved.

For that reason, I find myself seeking out stories, pictures, etc, which feature trans women as characters, even though I don't have any particular fetish for other trans women, when it's well done it can really help me to get into the situation and relate to the character.

I was just wondering, is this something that other trans people (men and women both!) experience? What are your thoughts on this?

I look forward to hearing whachall think! Be sure to leave a comment after you vote to let me know how you feel!

 

[Tiger1978]

I don't believe its entirely common for people of any disposition to imagine themselves as part of a scene in erotica or porn.

If that were the case, straight men wouldnt have a thing for lesbian porn and straight women wouldnt watch gay porn (we know some of you love it ladies).

It depends on the reasons you seek out the material. Theres the understandable need to see a desire represented on screen or page but its also a curious fact that what we like looking at or reading about isnt necessarily what we can or would like to participate in.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Lots of people have no problem watching porn that they have no connection to, Tiger-- we all know that.

That wasn't the question, though. Speaking for myself, I have to be able to connect with the material, or I can't enjoy it.

Which leaves me in a pretty strange position, since I'm in this twilight between transition and not-- I identify as a butch dyke, AND as a 'wannabe' trans guy.

There is more and more trans dude porn available, and it's been really helpful to me to see what those bodies look like, and see what fully-transitioned men are capable of, and also what they are not capable of. I can see what kinds of partners and situations can happen-- queer porn made by and for queers is a lot more honest than mainstream!

 

[TGirlNerd]

1. Never been interested in gay porn but I'm attracted to men. Now that's a contentious line because there are plenty of folks on Lit who say they love cock but are not gay. I'm saying I love men but I'm not interested in gay sex because I can't project myself into that situation.

That's exactly how I feel about it, too!

2. Porn featuring "shemales" used to interest me but once I understood what false tits were and the huge erections they sported were a fiction induced by drugs and surgery, then I lost interest. There are some porn vids and pics where the girl looks to be ( how can I say? ) natural ie she doesn't look as though she's a plastic surgeon's showcase, but that's opening up another topic that's might be best discussed outside this thread? I just keep seeing the 'person' in those images and wonder what has led them to appear in porn.

This is something that's bothered me a lot, too. I really have never found any good visual (photos/videos/animated) erotica that portrays this respectfully enough for me to find it more erotic than it is frustrating and a little bit insulting. I've had better luck with written stories, I think partially because in my own mind I can make little revisions and pretend the author didn't write quite what they did

Even there, though, I usually have to search through maybe a dozen really terrible stories before finding anything worthwhile. Ratings and popularity don't really seem to correspond to the realism/personhood/well-roundedness of the trans characters, sadly; here or anywhere else I've ever looked.

3. Cis-sexual women in porn - yup, I've always enjoyed seeing that because that's what I want to be, but again the air has come out of that balloon since I started thinking about the person. This is a huge generalisation but I get the impression that those particular cis-sexual women are there because they love sex and so that seems more genuine.
My attitudes changed with each stage of my HRT. I feel less dysphoric about sex but I don't go looking for porn like I used to. I keep asking about my T levels in this respect but I'm quite normal… I do look at some porn but most of it I find boring but now and again something really grabs me and that could be cis-sex women or trans women or it could just be the look in the guys eyes or his hands or some other random detail.
Overall I'd agree with you: overtly genital stuff is often too much like the butcher's shop.
I keep coming back to Lit because people here are much more honest about sex. I find in real life people are too embarrassed to talk openly about sex but I guess I've become de-sensitised with some much poking and prodding by medics.

Interesting -- I've been on hormones for about 7 months and theoretically my hormones are about where they're supposed to end up -- but I've yet to have my orchi so I'm skeptical if that's actually true. In any case, I haven't noticed that much loss of interest in porn so much as it just takes so much longer that visual porn is often not effective because it gets annoying/frustrating/boring long before I'm done -- I think my tolerance level has stayed the same but my time requirements have gotten longer if that makes sense 0_0

If anything though, I'm actually more into erotic stories, if they're good. I find I can connect much more easily with the feelings and the situations of the characters involved than I did before HRT. Overall I've felt like I have the same feelings, they just come on harder than before --- I think the relating to characters thing has to do with that.

I'm curious though, did you mean to include erotic literature also when you said you're not interested in "porn?" Because if so that surprises me -- I was under the impression you still actively wrote some yourself!

Thanks for posting though I wanted to vote in more than one

I specifically made it so that you can! you should check again

 

[TGirlNerd]

Speaking for myself, I have to be able to connect with the material, or I can't enjoy it.

Yep! Same here

Which leaves me in a pretty strange position, since I'm in this twilight between transition and not

From what I've seen I think that's more common than a lot of people think or want to admit. I can relate a lot, although I'm not in the same categories as you per se, I too am mid-transition and likely to never be at a state most people would consider "post-op" so I know what it's like to live your life "in between" at least from the perspective of my body.

There is more and more trans dude porn available, and it's been really helpful to me to see what those bodies look like, and see what fully-transitioned men are capable of, and also what they are not capable of. I can see what kinds of partners and situations can happen-- queer porn made by and for queers is a lot more honest than mainstream!

If you have a good link to "queer porn made by and for queers," please don't keep it to yourself!

 

[SissyKatie]

I voted other, and may have a bit of an unusual relationship with porn.

I also try to view myself in the position of one of the female participants almost without fail, and while I sometimes enjoy movies with a feminized male present, it really isn't something I most often seek out.

I also find that homosexual male porn doesn't interest me very much (have tried a few times) and while it certainly doesn't disgust me, it's just as though some erotic element is missing and it feels very bland and unexciting. I also rarely watch female homosexual porn, which might make me quite a rarity amongst modern men.

The main peculiarity in my preference when it comes to porn is clothing. I am sure I am not the only one out there, but judging my the majority audience that it catered for, my taste must be far from the mainstream. I really need to see a girl wearing beautiful clothes, and a scene loses about 50% of it's appeal the moment she gets naked. I do love and appreciate a naked female form (and sometimes male too... it's all about geometry ) I must be one of the only guys viewing this kind of material online who mentally cries 'no... keep the skirt on... keep the skirt on' in the first few minutes of most sex scenes.

I am well aware of course that this means I have a fetish alongside being transgendered. I know the definitions become very complex, but am pretty sure I am not just a cross dresser, transvestite or 'clothes fetishist', as I think my life has demonstrated elements of female personality traits and preferences that extend far beyond mere sexual arousal and resulting actions. I know this is a very complex area though, and many natural women would probably dismiss that claim (and who am I to argue... ultimately they are the ones with the experience ).

In some ways I consider myself very fortunate. I am glad not to be one of the guys who goes out on a Saturday night and has an absolute compulsion to make sure he goes home with somebody at the end of the evening, even if it means compromising other things in life, and sometimes a bit of dignity into the deal. I imagine I can probably get as much sexual pleasure or relief solo with some pretty feminine clothes as many men are able to achieve with a partner. Of course that is just speculation from my point of view, who ever knows what really goes on in other peoples heads.

There are certainly downsides to it also, and for me it means living a life that will always be incomplete and in some ways artificial, a kind of substitute for anything that could pass as desirable. It also means a largely solitary existence compared to my youthful days when transgender elements of my personality were more intermittent than they have become. At the same time I am mature enough to know that very few people are probably really walking around as they would want to be, and personal ideals are elusive to perhaps most people, whatever they may be.

I fear I have strayed a little bit from the point of the question, but at least began in the right direction. I hope my post isn't too out of place!

 

[Stella_Omega]

<snip> If you have a good link to "queer porn made by and for queers," please don't keep it to yourself!

Here's a fantastic list, already compiled http://ftmporn.tumblr.com/links
The tumblr itself is concerned with FTM only, and just like every other guy, they want to show off their dicks haha

http://ftmswithfemmes.tumblr.com/ is the 'sister' blog

I don't know about any equivalent for MTF, does anyone have a link?