"Cracking," or "breaking" in our lingo...
Only in rare fits of darkness does the thought even come up. I'm a royal pussy; my pain threshold is pathetic and I still can't seem to get through a series of sharp slaps without flinching and hiding my face. Where's the thrill in breaking someone as fragile as that? So it's a future thought, one for the days where I'm a tougher bastard and he really wants to let go.
Because I do enjoy--well, enjoying it. It fits my gritty need very well to be treated this way by him. It gives me a happy. I like being aware that I HAVE a "me" to be happy. I wonder if my need goes down so deep that I would derive satisfaction even when I don't even have a sense of self to be satisfied anymore. Sounds pretty hardcore.
Only in rare fits of darkness does the thought even come up. I'm a royal pussy; my pain threshold is pathetic and I still can't seem to get through a series of sharp slaps without flinching and hiding my face. Where's the thrill in breaking someone as fragile as that? So it's a future thought, one for the days where I'm a tougher bastard and he really wants to let go.
Because I do enjoy--well, enjoying it. It fits my gritty need very well to be treated this way by him. It gives me a happy. I like being aware that I HAVE a "me" to be happy. I wonder if my need goes down so deep that I would derive satisfaction even when I don't even have a sense of self to be satisfied anymore. Sounds pretty hardcore.